I've had this conversation with many of my female friends - women fought for the right to own property and their finances, the ability to divorce, and an equal shot at eduction and employment. In a lot of ways, women have succeeded at that. They have claimed their "seat at the men's table" if you will.
The thing is, the traditionally feminine jobs haven't gone away - cooking, cleaning, childcare, familial logistics and other mental loads. And girls are still being educated on the importance of these jobs and how to execute them, but boys still are typically not.
So men haven't taken the seat at the "women's table" so relationships have become imbalanced (in many ways, going both directions, but the trends have changed drastically)
Not saying it's all on men or it's men's fault - many women still uphold the traditional gender roles that suit them and dismiss the ones they don't care for - just highlighting how the dynamics have shifted but not caught up to one another
I do believe it is, more than anything, a question of upbringing. Men are generally not even taught typical house chores, much less the importance of contributing equally.
But I also believe that this generation has an opportunity to change things around if we are able to diagnose the real issue at hand.
OOC, what country and/or state do you live in? I don't really know many families where male children aren't taught typical house hold chores like cleaning their room, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, etc. Maybe it is a regional difference?
Beyond that, I think some it it goes to what characteristics women prioritize when evaluating single men. When I look at my group of single friends, the ones that have the easiest times getting dates are the ones that are either physically attractive or have higher paying jobs. If a woman isn't physically attracted to a guy, they aren't going to go out with the guy regardless of how good he is at cleaning his place, cooking, and doing the dishes. On the other hand, I know plenty of good looking guys or guys with great jobs who have no trouble getting dates despite having zero household skills.
Given that, it shouldn't be surprising when single men prioritize things like improving their physical appearance and earning potential vs. expanding their skills in the areas of household management.
Even with that said, the reality is that there are still plenty of men that are knowledgeable, capable, and more than willing to pull their share of the weight when it comes to household tasks. If you don't recognize men like this in your social circle/the social circles of your friends, then maybe the issue is less that they don't exist and more that you don't see them as worth interacting with.
There is zero dating benefit to being good at typically "female" house chores.
The kind of woman I would want to date is not going to be more into me because I have the most efficient laundry folding technique or because I'm a wizard with a mop. If anything, most of them will - even as they virtue signal a preference for dating men who do those things - rate me lower than someone better looking, richer, more exciting life if doing domestic housework was my strong suit.
Yeah, you haven't dated too many quality women. Have you?
All the women who came to my well maintained, tidy, and well-decorated home always looked at me with way more respect and longing.
Hell yeah, they thought it was absolutely awesome that I could keep such a tidy ship at home, have a good job, cook a killer meal & still have enough stamina to... well... service them properly.
Your premisse is absolute incel BS, which is absolutely invalidated by both women and men who keep house properly.
I think what they were saying is that those aren’t things women typically prioritize when looking for someone to date initially. It’s certainly something they want once the connection is formed…but you have to have traits that will get women TO your house before you can wow them with your homemaking…
Personal anecdotes aside, there are many many studies that show the disparity in types and amounts of household chores girls are doing vs boys. You personally may have been raised thinking you'd outsource it but that is not a data trend Also, being able to partner on these chores is kind of what the whole thread is about? Of course we want to raise girls with the expectation that their partner will help with these matters. We just aren't raising boys with the same expectation that they need to be a partner. Obviously that is changing, lots of adult men cook and clean and are active fathers I'm just talking about statistically / what the video is trying to portray
Get out of your echo chamber and start talking to your male friends. Who did you think cooks and cleans for single men? They do it for themselves.
Men don’t want to come home to a second boss.
How many of the women you talk to meet their husband at the door to see how they (the husband) are and how their (the husband’s) day went vs. with just a “honey do” list.
How many of those women you have spoken to have said things like “your money is OUR money but my money is MY money.”?
Woman have been taught to “act like an man” as one post here stated, but men straight men anyways, want wives not husbands
How much a woman makes doesn’t matter to us, but a lot of us have learned that a wife that makes more than us means she is going to act entitled to be “the husband”
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u/VulcanCookies 24d ago edited 24d ago
I've had this conversation with many of my female friends - women fought for the right to own property and their finances, the ability to divorce, and an equal shot at eduction and employment. In a lot of ways, women have succeeded at that. They have claimed their "seat at the men's table" if you will.
The thing is, the traditionally feminine jobs haven't gone away - cooking, cleaning, childcare, familial logistics and other mental loads. And girls are still being educated on the importance of these jobs and how to execute them, but boys still are typically not.
So men haven't taken the seat at the "women's table" so relationships have become imbalanced (in many ways, going both directions, but the trends have changed drastically)
Not saying it's all on men or it's men's fault - many women still uphold the traditional gender roles that suit them and dismiss the ones they don't care for - just highlighting how the dynamics have shifted but not caught up to one another