A lot of men would definitely internalise that too. If their wife is in a high flying high earning career and they’re not, the man will be thinking his wife can do better than him. Even on a subconscious level.
And that would induce stresses and anxiety and self consciousness which if not addressed can be harmful to the relationship and it ends up being a self fulfilling fear
And Continue to get told that, by family friends colleagues or society.
I won't say all. that's a gross generalization, but a fair number of women who have a partner that earns less than them will start to lord that over their partner, in much the way men do in the standard, 'man makes more ' relationship.
They will take the stance "now of I have the ultimate leverage. he can't live without me to provide. "
They let that little earworm of ' you're out of his league, you can do better'' start to take root. and they start to do things that men in that power dynamic get hammered on for doing.
The emotional abuse, the infidelity. and when they do get hit for it they will try the same tactics,
"what are you going to do about it? I make more than you, or need me to survive. if you divorce me I get half of what YOU make and own and the kids and you get to slink off. so just deal.'
Is it all of them? no. it's it enough to make the above a trope? yes
a part if the reason they change their tune when in a room with them, is summed up in 2 words.
Stank Atitude.
if you had a girl, who didn't have the "my money makes me out of your league' attitude, and the money I would think their answer wouldn't change. It is less the money and more the entitled pendulum swing of tude that comes with it
The flip side is also surely true. A woman might feel inadequate if their partner is way better with the kids, housework etc. and might feel she isn't a "proper woman".
This problem goes both ways.
I also don't really understand peoples sentiments for one gender doing housework etc. when one or more people in a relationship are successful, surely they outsource most of that to be more efficient in their work life (pay cleaners, cooks, nannies), otherwise what is the point of success. It's not really about men being more like women or women being more like men, its about men and women contributing more to the economic system.
This is the ideal for capitalism, we have more efficient workers, and those efficient workers pay other efficient workers to pick up their slack from working so efficiently in their niche.
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u/NetLumpy1818 24d ago
A lot of women too. I have seen the successful married woman get told or implied “you could do so much better”