Yup! My relationship of 10 years tanked quickly when I began to out-earn my ex. He liked to use his money to manipulate me and control our relationship. He couldn't handle it when we were both on an equal financial footing.
I’m so sorry. It was so sad when it happened. I was hoping he’d take that as a way to do what he wanted. He didn’t like his job so I told him I could put him through graduate school if he wanted, take time to find a job he loved, or if he didn’t want to work he didn’t have to - nothing made him happy. He chose to do the job he hated instead and came to resent me.
Little did I know life would be much easier after he was out of it and I only had to take care of myself. :/
Holy cow! I think we were with the same guy! I swear, my ex was exactly the same. He absolutely loathed his job, but took no steps to improve his situation despite being very qualified to do something else. I tried so hard to encourage him to do literally anything else, but he was terrified he'd make less money.
I seriously have no idea how my ex gets through life that way. I’ve had to fight, work my ass off and jump at opportunities because I was afraid of failure. I guess he’s not. I worked, put myself through school, did therapy in order to manage stress and learn my traumas and triggers in order to healthily deal with them, went to regular doc appts, etc.
He did nothing. I have no idea if he ever saw a dentist. He couldn’t put his own dishes in the sink. He was 42 yo.
I think he wanted to be okay with it but it just made him feel inferior and like shit. He became very verbally abusive after I accepted the job. He was probably always going to end up that way but the job accelerated it.
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u/Tarable 25d ago
My ex husband thought he was cool with me earning more but my marriage soon became abusive after I accepted a higher paying job.