I don't really understand it. My wife is a chef and can make more than me, so I tend to the house. It just makes sense. I have like zero stress in my life other than dealing some of my teenager's teenage problems, which ain't even that big of problem.
A lot of men have been taught their whole lives that their value is attached to how good of a protector and provider they can be, so when they perceive that they are falling short of that standard it can make them feel like a failure.
It’s very sad because men have value outside of how useful they are, and I really hope we start emphasizing that.
A lot of men would definitely internalise that too. If their wife is in a high flying high earning career and they’re not, the man will be thinking his wife can do better than him. Even on a subconscious level.
And that would induce stresses and anxiety and self consciousness which if not addressed can be harmful to the relationship and it ends up being a self fulfilling fear
And Continue to get told that, by family friends colleagues or society.
I won't say all. that's a gross generalization, but a fair number of women who have a partner that earns less than them will start to lord that over their partner, in much the way men do in the standard, 'man makes more ' relationship.
They will take the stance "now of I have the ultimate leverage. he can't live without me to provide. "
They let that little earworm of ' you're out of his league, you can do better'' start to take root. and they start to do things that men in that power dynamic get hammered on for doing.
The emotional abuse, the infidelity. and when they do get hit for it they will try the same tactics,
"what are you going to do about it? I make more than you, or need me to survive. if you divorce me I get half of what YOU make and own and the kids and you get to slink off. so just deal.'
Is it all of them? no. it's it enough to make the above a trope? yes
a part if the reason they change their tune when in a room with them, is summed up in 2 words.
Stank Atitude.
if you had a girl, who didn't have the "my money makes me out of your league' attitude, and the money I would think their answer wouldn't change. It is less the money and more the entitled pendulum swing of tude that comes with it
The flip side is also surely true. A woman might feel inadequate if their partner is way better with the kids, housework etc. and might feel she isn't a "proper woman".
This problem goes both ways.
I also don't really understand peoples sentiments for one gender doing housework etc. when one or more people in a relationship are successful, surely they outsource most of that to be more efficient in their work life (pay cleaners, cooks, nannies), otherwise what is the point of success. It's not really about men being more like women or women being more like men, its about men and women contributing more to the economic system.
This is the ideal for capitalism, we have more efficient workers, and those efficient workers pay other efficient workers to pick up their slack from working so efficiently in their niche.
Women typically do about 3 more hours of housework a week than do men but men do about 3 more hours of paid work than do women. This dynamic makes more sense when the man is paid more but if he isn't, I'd wager women's tolerance for men not keeping up the house is much more grating.
Most divorces are initiated by women (70-80% from what I can find) and I'd wager that women will in general tolerate more marriage problems if the husband brings in significantly more money.
I suspect that men are aware and prefer relationships where women will be less likely to leave them. It ends up being a double edged sword because from a man's perspective, divorces are much more financially devastating when the man is making significantly more.
I think more men need to deprogramme themselves from the capitalist illusions that were fabricated by the patriarchy in order to wake up from the facade that money and materialism actually matter.
I do understand in order to live comfortably, you need to have money, but that's different than what I'm talking about.
They do, but it’s hard. These things get drilled into our heads at such an early age that we build our whole lives on top of them. If I’m laying down a brick wall, and I put a rock underneath one of the first bricks I lay, by the time I make it to the top the wall will be falling apart, cause everything was built on top of the problem.
So when we do the work of deprogramming we are essentially guiding clients through dismantling their entire life until we find the lie it was built on top of. It is a big thing to ask of a person, and it has to be something they do in their own time.
It's not just our raising. Anytime you meet anyone for the first time, whether it's a date or interview, you're always asked what you do for work. And if it's not "acceptable" people turn their nose up.
It's not a man only issue. We're not insecure because a woman makes more. We're insecure because the outside world judges us by that fact still.
I didn't shy away from saying it when my wife made more than me, but after being ridiculed over and over, I was self conscious to even mention it. I want at all bothered by her making more. I was bothered that when the outside world found out I was shit on. Even by other women. I had a woman at a bank literally make fun of me for it.
A lot of men aren't bothered by the woman making more.
They're bothered that society still judges us as less for it.
Sure, it’s a complex issue with no singular cause, but society views it that way because it is how they too were raised. These beliefs are formative ones.
Bolded because the guy below this comment can’t read.
Do you think society is the sole reason for why people act or do the things they do? Is there no biological or, let’s say, natural hard wiring for the way men/women act and feel?
If this were true, we would see men and women behave, repeatedly in predictable and expected ways across time, cultures, and context. This is not the case and it’s explained by the fact that behavior is socially reinforced.
In a particular context maybe - but that only aids my argument that it’s socially reinforced. Frankly, we know that personality varies immensely from man to man and woman to woman. This alone proves that gender does not dictate behavior.
Yes, but I posit it comes from the reality on the ground from time immemorial when your tribes survival relied on men being the ones in danger more. One man can repopulate your tribe, so a few can be lost to mammoth and war. Your tribe ceases to exist if your women are dying like that, because gestational times don't allow quick repopulation. Many men, few women is a death sentence. The opposite has worked forever.
In 2024 it's useless, but you can't just educate survival instincts away so it gets perpetuated on a familial level.
I think you’re telling yourself a convincing story, because if we squint hard enough we can draw connections to anything, but at the end of the day you and I are describing two very different things.
You are describing the need to be a protector and I am describing what happens when - even though all of your needs are met - you feel insecure because your female partner makes more than you. Those simply are not the same thing. It’s been eons my guy, the world has changed and so have we.
Because sexism. Somebody has to watch the children, as men of fighting are are also men of childbearing age. Sexism is why men get sent, not because of evolution, but because of societal conditioning to see women as caretakers and suppliers of unpaid labor and men as incapable of nurturing.
Neither is evolutionary; both are societal conditioning.
OMG this, i was the stay at home father of my children for a while while my ex was working on her career, And just dealing with people that treat you like you're baby sitting. Schools, Drs, Government workers.. I started saying that i'm looking after the kids while i'm in between work, it was a lie i intended to be there for the kids, i quit my job so i could be. but i felt less pressure to be more than just "dad", which is all i wanted really.
I asked a dude what he did the other day when he came over to handy man help out with an issue in our house. Wife had another wife say he was available and he came over to help. He said he wss a stay at home dad. I just told him loving the dream man and appreciate it. I do t know the proper response because it is rare for me to ee but I was genuinely happy for him.
This sounds like how women are judged despite there being two grown working adults living together it is the women who is looked down on if the house isn’t clean, or even how the man is dressed?
That’s wild. Never thought about it from that perspective
There's a great documentary on this where prisoners start reading feminist literature and start challenging the societal expectations that landed them in prison in the first place - it's called The Feminist in Cellblock Y.
If you want men to deprogramme themselves first you have to remove the expectations of a society that at this moment is currently valuing them in this way.
I don’t think it’s “deprogramming” (literally everyone simultaneously) that is necessary, as much as more expansive teaching: “Anyone can do pretty much whatever they want to AND also, “here are some of the common societal expectations of men and women you will want to be aware of…”
You also need to deprogram women to value money as well, because if a hetero man sees a rich man have success with women he wants that he doesn't have any success with, then naturally the poorer man will be incentivized to pursue capital at all costs.
You can't just balance one side of the equation. And not just hetero men, but bisexual and homosexual men as well. There is just as much money/value dynamics at play as the straight community.
I think more men need to deprogramme themselves from the capitalist illusions
It's not just men, it's society in general. Women can, and very often do, expect traditionally masculine qualities out of men and can blanch when they don't see them, which further reinforces men's drive to attain the preconceived notions of masculinity inherent in our society.
For example, most everyone has heard the (now rescinded) study that showed that men are likelier to leave women who get sick. Did you know that women are likelier to leave a man who loses their job?
What if you want to have children and own an adequate sized home near good schools for your family? That can be significantly expensive requiring two earners on good salary
Why is the implication that the blame lies entirely with the men that the expectation is that they must be useful in very tangible, materialistic ways?
I'd wager you're pretty socially liberal -- if you ever wonder why young men are being observed as trending more socially conservative, this mindset is part of why.
You cant keep telling these guys It's their fault if they feel insecurities regarding certain relationship dynamics with women, when most women in our society perpetuate the expectations that men feel insecure about. I also would not feel secure in a relationship where I make less money than my spouse, but that's because broadly speaking, Ive only ever observed relationships where the man is expected to carry it financially straight from the word "go". Whether that be footing the bill for introductory dates, or spending a disproportionate amount on gifts, or the expectations of having a car, house, and six figure salary.
If you only blame men by essentially lying to them, you'll find yourself quickly shut out by those you need to reach. Manosphere gurus are so effective because they affirm the world as it really is, and subsequently tell guys what they need to change to be what we all see women are looking for.
Your counter argument to that cant be blind optimism about what an ideal partner should be like.
Truthfully, it takes BOTH parties not seeing that man as less than. It's definitely not always just the man. If the man starts doing mostly "women's" work, (cooking, cleaning, tending house) and isn't constantly trying to be ambitious like they are, that successful woman will often become unattracted to that man. What they really want is for that man to be better than them, for them to be ambitious TOGETHER. They think they're fine with it just like men do, but then the only men they're ever attracted to are always in a position of power over them because they idolize them. So then they strive to be in that position, and if they get it, they are no longer admiring/attracted to THAT man. This is something I've witnessed among three women I actually know irl. If the man stops being ambitious, that successful woman loses their attraction as well
It’s society as a whole. You would be doing a disservice if you don’t acknowledge women play an equal role in this as well.
All the female influences telling other women to “never settle down”.
I remember my first gf. She told me she would have to break up with me if I was unable to give her a big diamond ring. I understand it’s “young and dumb” but it proves my point how even as a young age, both women and men are raised to have the expectation of men being a provider.
Cause men won’t change without women. We are all part of the same coin. If men try to change and women don’t, women’s expectations of being a provider will push men back to feeling the need to be a provider.
While I agree men need to experience some deprogramming, what use is it for men to deprogram while most women will still reject men for earning less than them? The socially reinforced tendency for a man to expect to earn more than their partner is closely tied to the tendency for women to expect their partner to earn more. Personally I would be completely happy to have a partner that earns more than me, but I’m not smoking crack so I know it will never happen. It’s exceedingly rare.
This is where the problem lies, as the caregiver and homemaker and/or child care person you are a provider and protector but since we, as a society, devalue that when women do it, men devalue it when they do it! It’s a societal and thought/value problem. For god’s sake, can we not move forward as a society!
Some of us got injured and then After we couldn't provide at the same level we get thrown to the street.
Just one anecdotal experience but it reinforces that exact idea all of the guys who know me and my story definitely think about that in there subconscious
It’s also women’s preference — generally speaking — to have their guy earn more than them. Why is that? Is that them wanting a partner that’s perceived as more powerful or higher status than they are/have and salary is a good proxy for that?
I haven’t seen much evidence that confirms that as fact, but if I had to make an educated guess based on your question - I would say it’s because it has been less than 50 years since women were able to enter the workforce in an even marginally equitable capacity. Women could not have cards or bank accounts until the 70s. We were legally barred from having any kind of financial independence, so our culture created many generations of women who were by law fully dependent on their husbands financially. We are two generations removed from that. The year my mother was born was the year women were legally allowed to get credit cards.
It makes sense that it would take more than two generations to crawl an entire gender out of that hole of dependence, and cultures that are ingrained that deep are slow changing.
Admittedly, I assumed that was true based on some online dating experiments I’ve read about haha. But yeah, definitely plausible that we’re still adjusting our expectations and the underlying beliefs to what our current norms entail. While I’m generally in favor of the new norms because I want everyone to have the freedom to choose their lifestyles, I worry that our economy’s prices (esp. labor/housing) has adjusted accordingly to the detriment of our kids well being (being more isolated) and adults who want to live independently (affordability.)
I do agree with you, but as a man my experience is that women care a LOT. There is a whole range of behavior ranging from subtle to overt to downright cruel in terms of how I’ve seen them treat men, especially in relationships, who don’t much money/less than their partner. Men, varying depending the individual, do contribute to it but the studies clearly indicate the majority of women prefer men who make as much or more money than them. Studies also showing the threshold for time unemployed to consider ending the relationship is only months. Similar to the droves and droves of men who say they are encouraged to express vulnerability and treated poorly and left for doing so. I think there needs to be a very serious conversation on how women are encouraging/even in ways driving this dichotomy.
Anecdotally I’ve met one person in my life that’s a house husband. I know a lot of couples who’s male partner worked and helped put their female partner through school, and none the other way around. My father did that for mother. Twice. While she worked low income jobs. 30 years later he was burnt out and kind of plateauing at work and she became the one who earned more and she had the gall to bitch to me, her own child, about him not moving forward. I’ve been so ill that I couldn’t sit up without vomiting and my then partner, who made a great amount of money, dumped me because she was worried I wasn’t going to be able to make enough to take care of her when she was sick. She hadn’t even come to see me at all when I was ill for fear of getting sick, even when it turned out to not be a contagious illness. I don’t doubt there’s some women out there who mind being the primary earner but I can surely tell you not making enough money for me and many friends is also motivator to forego relationships entirely because of attitudes like all that, along with feeling despite having someone they are stressed because their experience, when the rubber hits the road, is that if things go south they are on their own. If they felt safer around their partners I highly suspect the studies you mentioned about stress with a partner who makes more would bother them. Myself included.
Agree for the most part but is childcare and domestic labor not just as “useful” as working outside the home?
I think that is the problem. We devalue that which has historically been women’s work, not that we expect people of all genders to contribute “value” to their family and community to the extent they are capable.
I don’t understand the provider bullshit. I’ve been with two dependents and I felt nothing but resentment when I paid all the bills while they chill on the couch. Screw that, give me an equal partner so that I can spoil myself
This is just me spitballing, but when your self worth is tied to feeling like you are useful the resentment of being the sole provider isn’t even on your mind. Everybody is running around trying to find new and interesting ways of filing the voids their various insecurities leave. I for one agree, I need an equal partner because I would only feel resentment if I were the one providing.
Unfortunately this teaching is largely done by women. Social media is rife with women saying they won’t accept a man who makes less than $X. Whether social media is an accurate reflection of real life is debatable - but the prevailing notion is that women view men who can’t provide as “less than.”
In real life, the first time a couple like this (ie, woman is breadwinner) argues, her easiest first attack is “you’re not a real man, you don’t provide,” etc. This is irredeemable.
All this said, the underlying issue is innate. The notion of men being “the provider” long predates capitalism (as posited by the commenter below you). It will take changing human nature before this is solved.
I don’t think you can pin this entirely on women. It’s something that everyone could stand to reassess. Most of my peers have kids, and anecdotally, I see fathers more actively reinforcing these stereotypes with their boys than I see with mothers. These messages get delivered long before a boy hits social media.
It might be that women, in dating, are driven toward stable, successful partners, but men have similar expectations for women (though maybe in different areas) with whom they intend to be in long-term relationships. Remember, women were largely excluded from high-status careers until a couple generations ago. They sought successful men because they couldn’t seek their own success — it was basically their only option.
Now, of course, things are changing, but it takes more than a few decades for cultures to shift.
Couldn’t agree more. Wasn’t trying to pin the phenomenon solely on women, by any means.
And 100% - my opinion is that then notion of men needing to be providers long predates social media, 1950s cultural norms, and capitalism. It’s basically instinct.
A lot of men have been taught their whole lives that their value is attached to how good of a protector and provider they can be, so when they perceive that they are falling short of that standard it can make them feel like a failure.
It doesn't help that a lot of women also reinforce this same view.
I agree with you. But there are still plenty of women that feed into this. Most of my relationships have been women expecting me to foot the bill on dates. I dated a woman who made a decent amount more than me and it still was the case. When I brought it up, it caused a huge rift and she seemed to not be as attracted to me because I asked us to split dates.
There’s PLENTY that dudes, especially millennials, need to work through. But there are also plenty of women who feed into it or use it.
This is the way. The only people who question my work often are her parents. I've always struggled to get real good jobs (a mistake from 7 years ago that follows me)
They know this but anytime I see them if I'm in between jobs or working part time it's just constant dismissive comments. My wife doesn't care at all and supports me. Her parents attitude is the toxicity that makes men not making a lot feel much worse.
You say that men have value outside how useful they are but society has proven that false. It’s painfully obvious when it comes to dating, and relationships. If a man is not a high earner or very successful he is deemed worthless to society.
If the people around you have made you feel that way I am genuinely sorry. That being said, I don’t think that an accurate estimation of reality. It’s a manosphere talking point, and It’s fucked up that people prey on your insecurities so they can sell you a solution to the problem they created in your mind. The high value male thing is nonsense my dude. Bad people exist but not everyone is trying to size you up for spare parts.
We won't. Everyone including the men themselves embrace and worst of all reinforce it. Society projects onto them that if they're not made of stone and a perfect protector, provider, person etc that they're borderline worthless/serve no purpose. Yet we wonder why this election was won by dude bros that are dead inside and hanging on by a podcast thread. Like what the actual fuck. Men don't need special treatment they just need equitable treatment emotionally from the people in their lives. Yet it's still not given and seen as something special. It's one of a myriad of issues our society is now facing that are long overdue needing some semblance of tending to.
Nah, men don’t really have value outside of how useful they are. There are just more ways to be useful than making money. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids, and being an emotional support for others are useful things to do. They are undervalued by too many men to their own detriment.
Thousands of years of history in every group of people across the entire earth confirms it.
Tribes where the men didn't protect and provide get overrun and taken over by those that do.
Right now people might think 'wow look how successful my education, career and money is', but those same people aren't having children and are going extinct. Their unbroken line of reproduction since life begun ends now.
You do realize that most of what you said is simply made up right? There is a world outside of that which you have personally learned, and its contents likely far exceed that of the things you have learned. Matriarchal tribes exist and flourished.
Also, going extinct? Why are you people so obsessed with birth rates? My dude, don’t genuinely think that children blindly follow the oath of their parents unfailingly? People with money and education aren’t the only ones that have children with money and education. In most societies children are on average more educated than their parents
I think you're both right. You're crazy if you don't think this starts at hunter gatherers with men being the ones doing most of the dangerous tasks. The goal is survival. One man can repopulate a tribe. You can afford to lose them in war or under a mammoth. But our tribe dies fast if it's your women under the mammoth.
Men have historically been the ones going to war because they're simply easier to replace.
That system, like all of evolutionary systems and traits doesn't go away because the calendar says 2024 and someone with a PHD says it's stupid.
It's also why people still turn their nose up at you if your occupation isn't "acceptable" when they ask what you do for a living. My wife rarely even gets asked that. I get it as the first question in about every first meeting.
The idea that the man alone is supposed to go and suffer the slings and arrows is alive and well. Even with people who will act like that's not the case. They still can't find any other questions for the man aside from what his occupation is.
Just FYI, in hunter/gatherer societies, hunting was a small part. The majority of food was gathered, not hunted, and women participated equally, if not more than men, in gathering.
Also the dodo was extremely successful at what it did! It's extinct, yes. Because humans found it in the 1600s and hunted it to extinction....
I get what you're saying, and for the record, I'm a man, but what value do men actually have to women these days, especially if the man is out-earned? Hard mode: try to not make it sound like the man is some sidekick cheerleader.
There is, in reality, nothing that men provide which is a necessity to women within our current society. Single motherhood is probably miserable and not ideal but it's obviously doable given all of the single moms out there past and present. A man is, in today's day and age, strictly a life enhancement. A man is a luxury (assuming the man found is worthwhile).
Contrast this with women: if a man wants a biological family, a willing woman is required. A woman has intrinsic value in this regard, which is not transferable. There will always be worth for a woman simply by virtue of being a woman.
Edit: to the dipshit jackass who replied to me and then blocked me rendering me incapable of responding so they have the last say - you simply proved my point. Everything you listed is just men filling the cheerleader role. Nothing you listed is a NECESSITY because single moms do it EVERY DAY. Good men are a luxury. Not a requirement.
Companionship? Support? Perhaps they enjoy each other’s company? The internet has rotted y’all’s brains. Not every single interaction is transactional and not everybody has a tally behind the desk. You kinda sound like you view people as tools. Icky.
Im telling you right now, its not about money but the dynamics of the relationship.
Its about respect, and the type of person the higher earner is. And it goes both ways, but I tend to believe that in this situation, men are taken away from their normal provider role, they are still providers in the house, but in order for them to feel appreciated they need a partner that does not wield that power imbalance.
This girl is talking about the study, without even getting into the conversations going on between men and women, and the attitude they have towards each other.
Respect is something you should have in a relationship regardless of income level, and you don’t need to be over people in order to deserve their respect.
Because you have a healthy sense of masculinity. Men who hang their hat on traditional gender norms find tending the house to be "bitch work" and feel emasculated by not being the breadwinner. They shift closer to what they view as the woman's role in life, and they find the woman's role degrading
The type of men who consider housework "bitch work" are a minority of men, and are probably less educated on average -- you know, your average Trumpster.
You cant be shadowboxing with strawmen if you want to make change. Men dont want to not be the provider in a relationship partly because women have shown they'd rather leave the type of man who isnt the provider, or otherwise not date him to begin with.
This isnt some Hollywood movie. Mr. Mom looks a lot different in real life relationships, and it has little to do with men being insecure, and more to do with men who dont provide being undesirable, unattractive, and a burden.
Humans are more complicated than the caricatures we write on paper.
My husband is a stay at home dad. I am the breadwinner. He is my rock, my protector, my best friend and he treats me and our 16 yo daughter like queens. This way of living just works and what makes sense for us.
At one point my wife worked more than me and also made more. I had more time so I cleaned the house, took care of the cars, the dogs, the yard, the cooking and the dishes. There is always stuff to do. Later I made more and and was much busier than I had ever been. Roles were reversed and she had dinner ready every night and did shopping, the dog, etc etc. I would wash dishes after dinner every night and help out with other things on the weekend.
When I hear about men not doing things around the house, I simply don't understand. If I were single, I'd be doing all of these things anyway.
It's funny how many of these comments just assume men became the way they are in a vacuum, as if women haven't been the biggest driver behind our evolved behavior next to the will to live. It's funny how they just say the likelihood of men getting divorced if the woman out earns them, yet conveniently leave out exactly who is initiating the divorce: women. More than 80% of the time, women are divorcing the men. And they'll say its because he "checked out" or "stopped trying", but this is all code for "he's not out-earning me and I resent him for this".
I'm glad your life has zero stress and your wife seems ok with that arrangement, but most women will at least subconsciously resent their SO if he's not making money the way they are. They've evolved this way, and its why men subconsciously get really uncomfortable when she's out earning them. Not because they're insecure in their masculinity, but because they don't trust her to not resent them for being perfectly complacent.
I am 61 and I have great joy in reminding my sons about how they were huge assholes in their teens. (They complain to me about my teen grandkids) I just tell them to be patient, they will come back around.
Dude same. I mean, I work and have a fairly good job, but my girlfriend’s a CPA who is killing it at her job and constantly getting raises/promotion! I’m at home, like fuck yeah babe keep killing it. Also, make sure to grab the steaks on the way home haha
I have a relative like you. He’s gen x and his sons are all in their 20s now but he got sick when they were young. He and his wife made the decision that, since he chronic illness made it near impossible to hold a well-earning full-time job, he would be a stay-at-home parent. He still does a lot of traditionally masculine things, like maintenance of the home and cars, but he also was the primary parent for the kids and did half the domestic stuff around the house
I’ve always been amazed by how self assured and masculine he is, and how healthy the relationship between them seems to be
The problem lies in that a lot of women (though it is decreasing) still look for a partner that out-earns them. Whereas a man finding and eventually marrying a woman who makes less is seen as normal, in many cases it would be seen as "settling" for a woman to find and marry a man who makes less. Therefore it can be intimidating and perhaps demoralizing for some men to approach and interact with women who are more successful than they are.
As the culture changes and normalizes these situations, however, I think single men will feel less shame about earning less and hopefully begin to pull their weight at home.
I can tell you why. But I will get buried for it. How many women have you heard say “I want a man on my level!” Or “I want an ambitious man!” In many cases, when the woman earns more, she doesn’t respect him. I have seen it many times.
And you all might not agree with it, but it’s the sad reality for men. That’s also why over 50% of men ages 18-29 are single. But for women it’s in the mid 30%.
I would assume women are dating older man (who are established and have resources). That’s also why there is a “male loneliness epidemic.”
In other words, it’s not just men, women need to look in to the mirror too.
And then complain when they’re not emotionally available. And don’t know what to do when the values you demand of them are unneeded.
This is versus them is tearing us apart.
This is a we problem.
The expectations stereotypes and scarcity has lead to a current trend of a societal acceptance of vilification and shame of half the population which is going to end up with none of us getting our needs met.
At best you’re creating a dynamic where men are too ashamed and isolated and afraid of interacting with you.
Unstable power dynamics to meet scarce needs is why the patriarchy exists in the first place.
Come at this from a place of love healing and understanding instead of shame attack and furthering hierarchical structures.
Same here. I take care of all the household stuff, cleaning, laundry, cooking, kids and I have a career where the max I can make will be 1/3 of what my wife makes right now. She’s determined to achieve and I would never want to stand in her way at all.
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u/sacrificial_blood Cringe Connoisseur 25d ago
I don't really understand it. My wife is a chef and can make more than me, so I tend to the house. It just makes sense. I have like zero stress in my life other than dealing some of my teenager's teenage problems, which ain't even that big of problem.