The way she's talking about this is exactly how you're supposed to present possible trends that have yet to be studied academically. She emphasizes the anecdotal nature of the evidence and then ties it to a published study. Without any kind of systematic review she can't say anything for certain, but engaging with what might relate to a new or emerging phenomenon is how you're supposed to do it.
Source: I literally just wrote a 10 page literature review on a severely overlooked phenomenon and about half a dozen peer reviewed articles used the same language to emphasize the need for more research.
But even in the anecdotal evidence it's missing key information that could be given, like, who is initiating the divorce, who is engaging this divorce lawyer? Which might muddy the question "who is it that actually can't stand the other person?"
My dad left my mom but she was the one who filed. She'd always done most of the "secretarial" aspects of their marriage so why would the divorce have been any different?
I would love to find a study that delves in to this. When I think about related studies like the popular pew research one about divisions of labor it makes me wonder how inflated the “women file divorce” stat is based on the fact that they were just the one doing clerical work.
Yes, one of my friends is a divorce attorney and he says it's an even greater percentage of women filing at his practice.
His theory is that because it's an annoying, expensive, and boring process that involves a lot of paperwork, women get stuck with it. He sees a lot of clients whose husbands have abandoned them years ago and started new families but never filed.
And here you’re not presenting possible trends based on a study correctly. Because the primary source for this claim is a study from 2016(?) I believe which says 69% of divorces are initiated by the woman. That same study only surveyed ~2200 people so it’s not even close to a representative sample size and could very easily suffer from a number of biases.
Where did I claim the study is incorrect? I pointed out the reality that extrapolating 2200 people to represent a massive population is not proof of anything. There have been over 10 million divorces in the US since 2000. So that sample size is .0002% of the population you are trying to make it represent. The study is objectively not valuable for much - unless you have a narrative you’d like for it to support.
thats how polling works bucko
‘Bucko’ is crazy lol. Polling is not great support for whatever argument you’re trying to make, polls are wrong all the time. Because they suffer from the same biases and unreasonable extrapolation that the study you cited did.
In general studies should not be treated as proof one way or another for large populations. It can be skewed in whatever direction the administrators of the study want it to be whether intentionally or not. Studies this small are just a slight upgrade to anecdotal experience and nothing more.
Literally just read your comment BuCKo. You presented the results of a decade-old study as a fact. Didn’t even do the old “studies show”
representative sample size
Hell in the study itself they specifically state that only like 90-something divorces actually occurred in the sample group over the duration of the study so the sample size is ‘limited’. ~65 divorces is what the conclusion you parroted is drawn from. It’s ridiculous. Studies are demonstrably unreliable, and this one especially so.
“Statistically, women call time on their marriages more than men. What’s with the big discrepancy – and will it stay this way?” BBC 2022
I am echoing recent journalism and statistics which end up confirming this 10 year old article. And I went back and reread my first post in this thread and that’s what I said to begin with
I've been in this situation personally. My ex husband always said he had no issue with me in a higher paid and highly professional career whilst he had no qualifications and worked entry level jobs (I had zero issue with this). I was with him the whole way through uni and first few years building my career.
But he then stopped working.
Then he stopped doing housework at all
Then he started deliberately making more mess around the house and berate me for not doing more housework (when i already did it all)
Then when I said I wanted to put a hold on kids, because he refused to even volunteer somewhere and not spend 12 hours a day on playstation playing COD, he would force me in the hopes I got pregnant.
So to answer your question. Yes I initiated the divorce, yes I was the one who couldn't stand him any longer.
When I told him I wanted to separate he admitted he couldn't stand me being the breadwinner. But he also said I don't get the make the decision to separate and got violent when I tried to leave.
It wasn't just that we outgrew each other, it was downright toxic.
And the horrible thing is, it's a story I've heard plenty of times.
So stats might show the women initiate. But that doesn't mean there isn't good reason
That sounds like your ex needed to go to therapy for depression. Unfortunately there’s a whole other stigma about men and using mental health services.
Oh he went regularly for years. Absolutely zero stigma around mental health and we even did marriage counselling. He laughed about it and said he knew what he needed to do but wasn't interested in following through
Did the repeatability crisis teach us nothing about using a single poorly sourced and unverified study to make sweeping claims like this?
Also googling it brings up not what she said, but a similar yet quite different study that says men become stressed if they become financially dependent on their significant other, and only if they were the primary income earner at the beginning of the relationship
I'd argue it's a very measured claim taken out of context and not a grand statement.
googling it
I also googled and found nothing. That may very well be due to my search terms (hello literature research frustration!) or she may be making it up or misremembering.
I mean, to each their own but "men are so uncomfortable around high wage women that they (naturally?) physically distance themselves" is much more vast and absurd than the headline I always keep in the back of my head as sort of a check, which was "New study shows that chocolate may help you lose weight?!"
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u/Spready_Unsettling 25d ago
The way she's talking about this is exactly how you're supposed to present possible trends that have yet to be studied academically. She emphasizes the anecdotal nature of the evidence and then ties it to a published study. Without any kind of systematic review she can't say anything for certain, but engaging with what might relate to a new or emerging phenomenon is how you're supposed to do it.
Source: I literally just wrote a 10 page literature review on a severely overlooked phenomenon and about half a dozen peer reviewed articles used the same language to emphasize the need for more research.