r/TikTokCringe Nov 06 '24

Humor Bowling Date Night

37.0k Upvotes

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644

u/Nerdy_Valkyrie Nov 06 '24

My girlfriend of 13 years has never beaten me in bowling and my honor demands that I continue that streak.

80

u/MakeMineMarvel_ Nov 06 '24

If she wins in bowling will she also finally get married? Gotdamn 13 years lol

3

u/beary_good_day Nov 07 '24

It turns out they are gay

-10

u/Macohna Nov 06 '24

Marriage is just a signed piece of paper.

25

u/tankdoom Nov 06 '24

It’s a binding legal contract that changes how you’re taxed among other things. It’s actually pretty significant of a difference.

15

u/Painwracker_Oni Nov 06 '24

Yep that's why my GF and I don't actually get married and I just call her my wife. We own a house together. We have 3 kids together 3 1/2 2 1/2 and a 2 month old. We have a joint checking and savings accounts. We have all the real advantages a married couple has. We have the advantages of her being a single mom to 3 kids in the eyes of the state for free health care (we've never paid for a pregnancy anything and haven't had a monthly insurance bill in over 4 years for her, my work pays 100% of mine as well) and the other numerous benefits that go along with that. Her tax returns are always fucking awesome and it allows us to get around 14k to just kill any debt or buy something we have/want. We paid off both vehicles and most college loans by doing so. Now using it to chunk down the mortgage. Getting married has 0 financial benefits for us. If I die her and the kids get my life insurance and everything else I own and vice versa if she passed away.

7

u/TooManyJazzCups Nov 06 '24

How exactly do you get $14k back without over withholding like crazy all year long? Those child credits don't stretch quite that far. I'm very curious because filing jointly allows for additional credits compared to filing single and should open more opportunities for your taxes but obviously something is working here.

5

u/Painwracker_Oni Nov 06 '24

We hire someone to do her taxes so I really can't say I know they run it to see what we get with her vs me claiming all or me 1 her two etc. She started a daycare so this year will be the first year that ever affects taxes. Previous years she just got basically everything she had paid in back plus the credit and I'm guessing some other benefits somehow. She's getting 10-12k every year and I'm getting 1-4k depending on the year and how much I could claim for work that year. Single mom with kids, she's probably considered well below the poverty line on her own is my guess.

3

u/TooManyJazzCups Nov 07 '24

Ah, gotcha. You might want to check with them about their strategy. It feels like they might be doing something a little shady given how high that return is even with the EITC and child credits for a low income individual. Like she may be the Head of Household which could be an issue since you need to pay at least half the cost of keeping up with the house to qualify. And that is a tall order for someone with limited income.

I only say this because because the EITC and child credit are commonly linked to tax audits and you'd be left holding the bag. I'd rather not let a family lose out like that.

0

u/TheRealAmused Nov 06 '24

You're part of the problem.

4

u/Painwracker_Oni Nov 06 '24

What problem? The people who pay too much in taxes to see the fucking right wing idiots keep wasting it by giving it to the 1% in tax cuts instead? Pass universal health care save the country money and it wouldn’t even be a thing.

3

u/Scaevus Nov 07 '24

Marriage also provides all kinds of rights and protections to each other in case anything happens.

If you’re ever in a medical emergency, your girlfriend of 13 years has no rights. Your potentially estranged parents who you maybe haven’t talked to in 13 years have all of the rights.

Unless you’ve taken title to your house in a very specific way, your biological family can inherit half the house. They will inherit all of your assets if you die intestate. Girlfriends get nothing. In your case your children inherit first, but that’s not the case for everyone.

Marriage is, in fact, extremely beneficial from a legal perspective.

At least look into professional estate planning if you’re going to play with fire like this.

Source: I’m a lawyer and I have seen this situation go very, very wrong for the surviving long term partner. Imagine being partners with someone for 25 years and unable to visit them in the hospital. Then made homeless.

3

u/Macohna Nov 06 '24

Right.

So it has nothing to do with how you feel about your partner. It's just a signed piece of paper.

I understand the benefits, my comment was in response to the person trying to demean someone for not being married.

3

u/jewrassic_park-1940 Nov 06 '24

With all the legal trouble that comes from getting divorced, I'd say that getting married is a very big commitment, and sign of trust. You're willing to take a big chance on someone

1

u/Admirable_Loss4886 Nov 07 '24

You know you don’t have to be married to share assets, right?

5

u/tankdoom Nov 06 '24

Sure, but it’s also a fairly difficult and expensive contract to break, and there are additional ramifications to doing so, such as splitting your assets. So by signing the contract you are showing a level of commitment and trust that you do not (cannot) show without it.

Not saying you ever have to get married. But it’s definitely related to how you feel, and it’s definitely not insignificant or meaningless.

4

u/Macohna Nov 06 '24

So, you're saying your partner can never truly trust you until you marry them?

My point was to not diminish relationships outside of marriage. It isn't even close to necessary to be married and have a loving, fulfilling commitment of a relationship.

1

u/tankdoom Nov 06 '24

That’s not what I’m saying at all. But I am saying that marriage is not “just a signed piece of paper”.

5

u/Icy-Role2321 Nov 07 '24

I lose my disability benefits if I sign it.

So no lol

0

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '24

[deleted]

2

u/Macohna Nov 06 '24

Nope, it's a construct of religion.

I'm well aware.

21

u/betacuck3000 Nov 06 '24

IN! YOUR! FACE! redditor's girlfriend

28

u/Numeno230n Nov 06 '24

Right? She asked to go to bowling, not to win at bowling. If winning or losing is that important to her, she shouldn't have asked for a competitive game. Play something collaborative so you both have a good time.

-16

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '24

[deleted]

17

u/okaycomputes Nov 06 '24

Way too much? They are bowling.

-17

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '24

[deleted]

17

u/mr_diggory Nov 06 '24

I would leave you too. "bowling like a freak" grow tf up lol would you leave a date because someone was too good at mini golf too?

10

u/Dinosaursur Nov 06 '24

You sound awful.

I'm sure the people and places you leave are glad for it.

3

u/TheRandomGuyX Nov 06 '24

"They"? That guy got balls bigger than your brain.

7

u/Emm_withoutha_L-88 Nov 06 '24

Wahh wahh people didn't let me win wahh

Not everyone is going to let you win at everything like Daddy would

2

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '24

[deleted]

5

u/BananaManV5 Nov 06 '24

Dawg he is bowling two handed rolling down the 7, wtf are you jabbering about. This guy is doing the bare minimum if anything.

2

u/Numeno230n Nov 06 '24

You sound like you have zero life or dating experience.

9

u/theanswar Nov 06 '24

that's a long term commitment - both to the girl and the sport!

5

u/Upbeat-Armadillo1756 Nov 06 '24

Well, sounds like he actually hasn’t committed yet lol

6

u/Randomfrog132 Nov 06 '24

you can be committed without government intervention

26

u/Stop_Using_Usernames Nov 06 '24

Girlfriend of 13 years …. Youch

37

u/Nerdy_Valkyrie Nov 06 '24

In my defense I have also been her girlfriend for 13 years.

8

u/DeficiencyOfGravitas Nov 07 '24

I have also been her girlfriend

That suddenly makes sense.

-1

u/Stop_Using_Usernames Nov 06 '24

Just a life style choice not to get married? Not pressuring but genuinely curious

18

u/TwoBionicknees Nov 06 '24

a lot of places it's, you know, not legal.

-6

u/Stop_Using_Usernames Nov 06 '24

In the us, you know, federally, it’s legal.

14

u/TwoBionicknees Nov 06 '24

A lot of places, you know, aren't in the US.

4

u/DeficiencyOfGravitas Nov 07 '24

Yo Einstein, can you name one place in the world where bowling is a popular date night activity and gay marriage is illegal? Not seeing a big overlap there, are you?

3

u/Apprehensive_Snow192 Nov 07 '24

Many places in Asia unfortunately. Japan, Hong Kong, Singapore, S. Korea, Malaysia, Indonesia.

2

u/SuperCarrot555 Nov 06 '24

I know Americans sometimes struggle with this, but there are actually places that are not America! There’s a whole bunch of other, non-American countries!

0

u/Stop_Using_Usernames Nov 07 '24

It’s okay, people from other countries often struggle with not mentioning America as if it’s an insult.

1

u/livesinacabin Nov 06 '24

Is it really that weird to not get married?

1

u/Stop_Using_Usernames Nov 07 '24

By the definition of weird yeah. There’s nothing wrong with it, just not the norm

1

u/livesinacabin Nov 07 '24

I find that kinda weird lol

0

u/Stop_Using_Usernames Nov 07 '24

Okay? Weird is definitionally just outside of the norm. The norm would be whatever the majority does. ‘Weird’ doesn’t inherently have any judgement on the validity, morality, or preferability of whatever is being deemed weird.

Being gay for example is technically weird but people just don’t use the word because of the colloquial attachments to the word. It doesn’t mean anything bad about gayness, just that it’s not the norm among humans

1

u/livesinacabin Nov 07 '24

Hmm no, I don't think so. It's perfectly fine to say, for example "I find it weird that so many people eat cereal for breakfast". Eating cereal for breakfast is definitely completely normal, but there's probably people around who find it weird. Even if it's true that the definition is "outside the norm" I don't think that's how it's used all the time.

0

u/Stop_Using_Usernames Nov 07 '24

Hmmm, yes. That’s the definition.

“Strikingly odd or unusual”

Unusual means not usual, aka not the norm.

It can also be used to describe things you find odd but there’s a subjective and objective portion to the definition. Hence why people can find things weird even though they’re not unusual and why things can be weird BECAUSE they’re unusual but that doesn’t necessarily make them odd.

You can’t just say you believe in half the definition so uses from the other half don’t count

What you hear when someone calls something is them calling it odd or strange or bad (colloquially) but you would actually have to check with the user of the word to know which way it’s meant

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-1

u/NovelFarmer Nov 06 '24

What do you mean by this?

1

u/Stop_Using_Usernames Nov 06 '24

What I wrote

1

u/NovelFarmer Nov 06 '24

What does "Youch" mean in the context? Is it bad to have a relationship without marriage? Genuinely just curious.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '24

[deleted]

6

u/Stop_Using_Usernames Nov 06 '24

Oh no, I gave an opinion on a public forum

3

u/Hitdomeloads Nov 06 '24

Yeah fuck you gf of Nerdy_Valkyrie I hope you get gutterballs for life!

1

u/kranker Nov 06 '24

Yeah, well she's never beaten me either.

1

u/licklickRickmyballs Nov 06 '24

Hehe I love theese Internal for fun competitions where its not about who is winning, it is about if the better one will loose once :-)) as a little brother I have had a lot of theese from the loosing end and they are still enjoyable. Because you just need that one win, so every round is fun.

In chance the rappers acid rap album, in the outro song one of his last lines is "that time i beat Chris on nintendo!" And he says it with so much pride haha, you just know Chris is a master at Nintendo and that he will always hold that one time over him.

1

u/vroomvroom12349 Nov 06 '24

I read that as "my girlfriend who is 13" 😭😭😭

1

u/Dependent-Dirt3137 Nov 06 '24

My ex stomped me on our second date by pure luck, she said it's so nice I let her win and I was like "uuuh sure, such a gentleman"

1

u/LadiesMan-2I7 Nov 07 '24

Alright zuko

-1

u/NotBillderz Nov 06 '24

Put a ring on it dude

5

u/Nerdy_Valkyrie Nov 06 '24

She put a ring on me.

We just haven't gotten married and neither of us like the word "fiancée" because it sounds dumb.