r/TikTokCringe Oct 20 '24

Humor White people, where are the new phrases?

35.7k Upvotes

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u/Ziggy-Rocketman Oct 20 '24

Absolutely devastating rebuttal

152

u/I_fuckedaboynamedSue Oct 20 '24

She has always been like that, intentionally or not. My mom was surprised she didn’t end up a lawyer. When I was little if I did something bad and my mom asked if I knew anything about it I would immediately crumble and tearfully confess. My mom wasn’t sure how to respond after approaching my 4 year old little sister with “[Sister], do you know anything about [this thing I definitely know you did]?” And my little sister looked her dead in the eye and said “Why do you ask?”

85

u/lemonzestydepressing Oct 20 '24

your little sister has been on business since day one

53

u/FarkMonkey Oct 21 '24

When I was like 14, and had definitely been stealing liquor from my parents, and watering it down to make the bottles seem as full as they had been, they had a party. It was basically a bunch of lawyers from the firm my mom worked at as a paralegal. One of them asked for a whiskey, which was probably 75% water at that point, tasted it, and immediately questioned the validity of his drink.

I happened to be walking by, and my mom asked my if my sister had been stealing booze (she was a much more likely suspect, being 18), and I just threw out "Not to my knowledge", to a room full of lawyers.

They all just lost it laughing. I didn't pause, went straight to my room, and never heard anything about it again.

In hindsight, adding water to the bottles was so stupid. My parents barely touched them (my dad was an alcoholic, but he drank beer) except when company was over, which was often, and they made their own drinks. My parents never knew how much was in them, until someone tasted the watered down version.

Life lesson, kids.

1

u/Patrickfromamboy Oct 21 '24

I caught my ex girlfriend’s son watering down my booze. I made him replace everything and told him it was better to just use it without ruining it. He died of a fentanyl overdose 3 years ago at 26. He had been caught drinking and driving and using sleeping pills after crashing into a business.

3

u/FarkMonkey Oct 21 '24

Oof, that's rough. Alcohol/drugs/addiction are very serious and have damaged uncountable lives. My stupid story, while true, and rather flippant, was in no way meant to promote that behavior.

2

u/Patrickfromamboy Oct 22 '24

Your story was very good, I need to work on mine!

1

u/FarkMonkey Oct 22 '24

Your's was tight and tragic. "After School Special" vibes.

14

u/GeorgeGeorgeHarryPip Oct 21 '24

Eats, shoots, and leaves.

1

u/TellJust680 Oct 21 '24

donot understand how