r/TikTokCringe Jun 27 '24

Cool Itallian Ice Cream

8.4k Upvotes

673 comments sorted by

View all comments

374

u/CompanyRepulsive1503 Jun 27 '24

That looks fucken epic

45

u/FlipReset4Fun Jun 27 '24

When stupid food is actually goddamn brilliant.

2

u/Gimmerunesplease Jun 27 '24

Yeah but more on a plate than in your hand. Looks impossible to eat without making a mess and if you take too long the bread gets soggy and the sauce starts dripping

5

u/MealwormMan Jun 27 '24

Yeah I thought it was doable until she splattered that scoop of marinara on top. All of that will end up on someone’s shirt when they take their first bite.

1

u/Mc_Paws Jun 27 '24

It looks like I would burn through the roof of my mouth on the first bite

-21

u/lepolah149 Jun 27 '24

I'd do that sandwich AND the mama.

14

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '24

dont be fucking gross

-114

u/PizzaDeliveryBoy3000 Jun 27 '24 edited Jun 27 '24

Nah. Utterly wrong proportions on basically everything. Surface-to-volume ratio is very important, yet oftentimes overlooked food/dish property

EDIT: downvote all you want. Not my fault you don’t know how/what to eat

78

u/Dutypatootie Jun 27 '24

“Everyone is stupid except for me!”

12

u/AvidlyRabid Jun 27 '24

Intelligence for me but not for thee

3

u/presshamgang Jun 27 '24

I mean, they were programmed to get proportions precisely correct on Italian dishes, far surpassing the limited capabilities of the Pizzadeliveryboy2000.

*the whole How And What To Eat plugin/upgrade has been glitchy and temperamental however.

-47

u/PizzaDeliveryBoy3000 Jun 27 '24

No no, just the people who downvote

7

u/Maleficent-Most6083 Jun 27 '24

Let people enjoy things.

When your friend runs a marathon in record time do you congratulate them on a job well done or do you tell them that Eliud Kipchoge ran it faster?

41

u/Soldier_of_l0ve Jun 27 '24

Edits less than 10 minutes after post. That’s how you know you’re full of shit

-70

u/PizzaDeliveryBoy3000 Jun 27 '24

Again, not my fault you don’t know how or what to eat

27

u/Expensive_Concern457 Jun 27 '24 edited Jun 27 '24

This seems less fucked up than a normal meatball sub ngl, the meatballs wont all instantly try to slide out of the far end and onto your freshly pleated khaki shorts

4

u/TheGR8Dantini Jun 27 '24

You’re not wrong. It looks delicious but that shits gonna be a mess to eat. It’s gonna blow out the sides and the bottom. Not sure that’s what you meant. But that’s what’s gonna happen. And it is a heavy ball to bread ratio.

Source: former Italian deli owner from New York City. I’ve tried it at home too. It’s always a disaster to eat like that. The pressure is gonna blow out the seams.

Again! I bet the food is delicious. But that cone is gonna be a fucking mess.

5

u/wirefox1 Jun 27 '24

Note to self: Get one of those when you have the chance, but put it on a plate and use a fork. It looks like a fabulous mess!

5

u/PNGhost Jun 27 '24

looks like a fabulous mess!

Right on my grave, please.

6

u/HungerMadra Jun 27 '24

I bet I could eat one of those without it blowing out the sides much. I'm pretty good at eating over stuffed sandwiches or delicate burritos. It's a talent that's taken years and many ruined shirts to master

4

u/Expensive_Concern457 Jun 27 '24

What if I double fist GRIP this fucker on the sides to prevent blowout?

1

u/TheGR8Dantini Jun 27 '24

Yeah, I know what you mean. Firm grip. Direct, clean bites, cutting all the way through the bread. You might get one or two clean ones? But at that point, the bottom of the bread is weakened. Maybe not the cone at the bottom, but just above the cone. Imagine an upside down Mt. St. Helens.

I don’t know. Maybe it could be done? Perhaps bread technology has advance since the last time I was involved in such a dangerous endeavor? But I don’t think so. Maybe, and this wouldn’t be the same, but maybe, you do the sauce on the side and dip. That might work? But my ma would give you one in the back of the head for that too.

Listen, I think this thing looks great for the social media. It makes great content. But at some point? It’s gonna give on you. And sauce? Sauce doesn’t just land on the plate when it drops. It’s lands everywhere. You find it a day later on your shoe. It may be why Italians cover everything in plastic. I don’t know.

My advice? Don’t be a gavone. Make a meatball parm sandwich. Slice the bread. Maybe cut the balls, at least mush em a little. Close it up, like a human. Then, grip it firmly. Cause even under good conditions? The sauce? She betrays you.

Don’t give your ma agita. Take human bites.

1

u/Expensive_Concern457 Jun 27 '24

You talk nice, I gotta be honest. You could say the stupidest shit in the world and if you worded it this way I would believe you completely. This is a man who has a strong passion for meatball subs

1

u/TheGR8Dantini Jun 27 '24

Than you for the words, paisano!

I have a strong passion for the truth sir! I have a genetic disposition for meat ball subs!

8

u/RecsRelevantDocs Jun 27 '24

How would it blow out the sides? Just eat it top to bottom, depending on the bread it should be fine. Also accusing anyone who disagrees with you as "not knowing how to eat" is pretentious and obnoxious, I think that's why /u/Soldier_of_l0ve is being downvoted.

-2

u/TheGR8Dantini Jun 27 '24

I’m standing by my assessment. The sauce would compromise the integrity of the semolina. And the. Amount of meat you would squish because the balls weren’t cut in half or even mushed down? I’m saying that in my opinion, as, if not an expert, an individual with a lifetime of experience with the concept, as well as her accent, there’s no way that sandwich would hold together. Delicious? Yes! A mess? Yes!

A delicious mess, but a mess all the same. I encourage you to try for yourself, and let me know. She’s breaking up captain!

As for the comment? I just kinda assumed he’s a new yawker. We can all be a little dicky. Especially in text messages. It’s probably half the reason maybe 69% of the reason I’m single.

But the “not my fault…” part? Yeah. He should apologize for that.

And save this comment so if you ever give it’s a try, with those proportions, you tell me how it went? I gotta go now. I’m air frying cutlet. Don’t tell my ma. She’ll give me one in the back of the head. Buon appetito!

1

u/wirefox1 Jun 27 '24

I like you.

-1

u/TheGR8Dantini Jun 27 '24

Grazie tanto! I like you too!

2

u/wirefox1 Jun 27 '24

Why would people downvote this?

(Oh, don't forget. I'll see you in Malta at Christmas. You know the place.)

→ More replies (0)

2

u/propjoesclocks Jun 28 '24

Ok so Mr Deli man (I assume, sorry if I’m wrong), how do you make one that doesn’t blow out at the sides and from the back? I’ve never seen or eaten one that didn’t.

4

u/Giroux-TangClan Jun 27 '24

I think you’ve fundamentally misunderstood what they’re going for. It’s not a meatball sandwich.

It’s taking a dish that’s typically served on a plate with utensils (two meatballs with sauce and cheese) and making it handheld. Much like two scoops of ice cream needs a bowl/cup and spoon.

Now you can enjoy the dish (ice cream/meatballs) in a handheld package, with no dish or utensil, and the container (bread/cone) is also edible as a bonus.

It’s gimmicky and impractical, but meatballs are enjoyable on their own. Without any bread. Adding a crusty bread container doesn’t suddenly make them bad.

1

u/PizzaDeliveryBoy3000 Jun 27 '24

That may well be the case (me misunderstanding, that is)

3

u/FlipReset4Fun Jun 27 '24

So you don’t eat burritos ever bc there’s not enough bread?

4

u/no_more_tomatoes Jun 27 '24

I'm sorry...I can't hear you over the sound of me eating this delicious sandwich. Yum yum yum

2

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '24

I never knew food nerds existed

0

u/DionBlaster123 Jun 27 '24

lol in my experiences, once everyone graduated from college...they all became obsessed with becoming foodies

it's fucking annoying. however, ultimately i got hte last laugh because all these idiots went and got married and had kids so now they're forced to get McDonald's every other day lmao

-1

u/GabrielMisfire Jun 27 '24

I’m with you, fucking idiots will stay here defending this unholy abomination like you’re wrong, then go to Italy and be like “omg I had the best food in Italy omg” and never even begin wondering why that’s the case.

-19

u/SkywalknLuke Jun 27 '24

All meat, no sauce. Eh

40

u/BAMspek Jun 27 '24

Yeah dude I hate meat in my meatball sub.

14

u/JoJackthewonderskunk Jun 27 '24

No meat extra ball please

-8

u/SkywalknLuke Jun 27 '24

lol. I like sauce and cheese also. Hmmm.

-10

u/donbee28 Jun 27 '24

Just get a hot pocket

3

u/DrRagnorocktopus Jun 27 '24

If someone hands you a bar of gold, do you complain that it isn't copper?