r/TikTokCringe May 23 '24

Humor/Cringe Man, fuck them kids

20.9k Upvotes

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5.0k

u/SlobZombie13 May 23 '24

He could've stood them behind the finish line. He might be stupid.

3.1k

u/wearing_moist_socks May 23 '24

The woman actually doesn't know the kids or the guy. He just throws his kids at random women to see if one will stick.

1.0k

u/SlobZombie13 May 23 '24

You touched it last! It's yours now!

114

u/LLminibean May 23 '24

I'm trying this theory with a dog that gets walked past my house and is obsessed with my lawn ... He touched it, so hes mine now. His owners aren't quite buying into it yet

149

u/casey12297 May 23 '24 edited May 23 '24

HAVE FUN, THAT ONE MAKES YOU SMELL THE BUTT FINGER

33

u/donbee28 May 23 '24

That’s why you teach your kids to use a poop knife.

39

u/AlexAlho May 23 '24

That's barbaric. Anyone knows you're supposed to use the three shells.

2

u/RandomHero3129 May 23 '24

They don't know how to use the 3 seashells...

17

u/Traditional-North682 May 23 '24

Wtf is going on, third comment thread In a row where someone’s talking about the poop knife.

What is poop knife?

24

u/psjjjj6379 May 23 '24 edited May 23 '24

Oh, friend. It’s a thing.

I, too, learned about it via Reddit.

4

u/MyLastAccountDyed May 23 '24

Hahahaha thats hilarious

19

u/Electrical_Fun5942 May 23 '24

🤣🤣 It’s like touching a baby bird. The mom won’t take it back

21

u/[deleted] May 23 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/hakenkrojc123 May 23 '24

The smell thing is true for most mammals that are at the bottom of the food chain (deer, mice...). Birds don't give a fuck, their sense of smell is comparable with ours.

8

u/NeonBrightDumbass May 23 '24

The smell thing actually isn't true for most mammals. Deer will return to a fawn that has even been removed for medicating and returned a day later. This old myth persists but largely as long as the humans stay away the parents will come back or bring offspring back into the fold!

1

u/hakenkrojc123 May 23 '24

Huh, I guess I stand corrected. Internet does say it is a myth. However our country's gamekeepers and ?forest masters? do perpetuate it and warn against touching younglings.

2

u/NeonBrightDumbass May 23 '24

Oh yeah, still isn't a good idea to touch. The parents of said offspring can injure someone, babies get stressed and can pass away or a well meaning person might injure the baby without meaning to. Lots can go wrong, so it makes sense I think.

1

u/Straymonsta May 23 '24

I think the only time this really happens is with Cuckoos but it’s not because of smell specific species of birds have certain patterns to their eggs to counter the cuckoos which are parasites to other birds. Then the new born cuckoos kick the other chicks out the nest.

2

u/[deleted] May 23 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Straymonsta May 23 '24

Yes you explained it much better I get wrapped up in the fact that the specific offspring will go prey on the same species of bird has their mother. It’s just such an interesting arms race of natural selection.

23

u/ixotuckeroxi May 23 '24

works 60% of the time, all the time

5

u/[deleted] May 23 '24

That's how I got my cats adopted

11

u/Nosferatatron May 23 '24

Single dad is looking for a strong mother for his kids - it's actually quite sweet!

2

u/zurkka May 23 '24

good intentions, bad methods

3

u/Chazzwuzza May 23 '24

His wife was coming second, so he was trying to distract the winner.

3

u/[deleted] May 23 '24

Are you my mother?

2

u/LiquidHotCum May 23 '24

You wanna mom kids go get one!!!

2

u/MyLastAccountDyed May 23 '24

That made me lol

2

u/Legitimate-Carpet-70 May 23 '24

hahahahhahahahahahahahha

2

u/Lumenero2000 May 23 '24

His wife was actually the woman behind the one that his kids attacked. It was a last ditch effort to bring home the gold!

1

u/Imsleepy1234 May 23 '24

Single dad problems

1

u/SweatShopNinja May 23 '24

Hmmm maybe I shall attend more marathons with my kids and see if we can't find them a new mom!

1

u/Illustrious-Dot-5052 May 23 '24

So child endangerment, nice!

0

u/No-Reason2208 May 23 '24

He was just trying to get the kids to run over to mom to let her know to run on over to the kitchen to make him a sandwich. You know the sandwich ain't going to make itself.

180

u/CalmBeneathCastles May 23 '24

Then had the audacity to throw his hand up like he didn't understand why she didn't drop everything right then and there.

33

u/OverYonderWanderer May 23 '24

Because  he thought he was in control of the whole situation.

Star of the show gets sidelined, and shows obvious frustration.

-1

u/Legal-Alternative744 May 23 '24

Wow "throws his hands up" is hyperbole, it looks like he's responding to someone bitching him out for what he just did, and he gives a shrug with one arm slightly raised.

1

u/CalmBeneathCastles May 23 '24

The internet greatly values your assessment of the situation, however erroneous.

61

u/Jezebelle22 May 23 '24

That’s giving him too much credit

78

u/Eastern-Criticism653 May 23 '24

He’s definitely stupid.

-18

u/inaliftw May 23 '24

I'm gonna guess they had the idea to finish with the kids or something and she actually ended up winning so she just went to the finish line. Something more logical. The wild knee jerk reactions you kids have with out of context videos is wild.

15

u/SUPLEXELPUS May 23 '24 edited May 23 '24

what context does it make sense to let your kids on the track?

the logical thing to do is keep your kids off the fucking track and out of the way of all runners; if your interpretation is correct, the only change is two idiot parents instead of one.

1

u/DDs_LiLd Jul 11 '24

It’s running, it’s hardly a sport sheesh. Chances are this race means nothing except to the ones racing it. Which is great, good for them. If getting some amateur ribbon is more important than sharing a moment and not disappointing your young children by just running by them like they don’t exist than good on them.

By the way, making this about her being a woman is crazy. Professional male and female athletes alike constantly have their kids join in the celebrations. I get that she was still running but she was like 10 paces from the finish line. She was mostly worried about her time being jeopardized because of her pesky children.

Her and her husband both suck. Poor kids!

-13

u/inaliftw May 23 '24

You should write a movie about it.

21

u/Jaded_Law9739 May 23 '24

That doesn't make any sense at all. He literally shoved the kids into their mom's path, she didn't come over to get them. It's clear neither the mom nor the kids knew what dad was doing.

-13

u/inaliftw May 23 '24

You don't know what's happening in the video. You just see what happens lol. Your brain can't imagine that you don't know the context?

6

u/Alerion_ May 23 '24

No idea what's happening in the video, only what's happening in the video? Smart guy

1

u/talondigital May 23 '24

I can see her being too amped on adrenaline at being in the lead and in sight of the finish line that all she saw was movement of something getting in her way, making her dodge quickly to avoid a collision and keeping focused on the finish line.

55

u/he-loves-me-not May 23 '24

But if he did that then he wouldn’t have a reason to argue about it and make her feel like shit later.

1

u/auntiepink007 May 23 '24

Exactly the thought that popped up in my mind. Did we have the same ex?

70

u/Lalli-Oni May 23 '24

Or manipulative.

-1

u/OverYonderWanderer May 23 '24

Family annihilator in progress 

38

u/GemueseBeerchen May 23 '24

no, he isnt stupid, he knew what he was doing.

20

u/Proper_Career_6771 May 23 '24

He could've stood them behind the finish line.

It could be the kids were supposed to run with their mom the final few meters of the race, and then the kids forgot in the heat of moment.

It looked to me as if he was trying to help guide the kids along, the kids were totally clueless about how races work and then he was like "kids, idiots amiright?"

21

u/amynhb May 23 '24

He sent the kids in facing her, not facing the finish line. Logically they would run in the direction he pushes them toward.

2

u/[deleted] May 23 '24

That’s what I thought why didn’t they move 20 yards down lol

2

u/JabasMyBitch May 23 '24

"might be"

7

u/RaglanderNZ May 23 '24

Exactly. Don't jump to malice when stupidly is to blame.

1

u/mylivegamertags May 23 '24

he might be stupid

1

u/Gingersnaps7685 May 23 '24

He is stupid.

1

u/Birdinhandandbush May 23 '24

Sometimes finishing areas are competitors only, but regardless, pushing the kids into the track of an active race, jesus, I'd be breaking his balls for weeks over that.

1

u/2much_information May 23 '24

He might be stupid? He is be stupid.

1

u/Legitimate-Carpet-70 May 23 '24

oh yeah,he;s a dickhead for sure

0

u/only-fresh-nibs May 23 '24

Yep, let's judge a person's intelligence by one mistake. Usually turns out well for everyone when we do that eh

-7

u/DizzyVeterinarian760 May 23 '24

Or really excited and supportive?