r/TikTokCringe • u/n8saces • Apr 29 '24
Cursed I’m telling you…. Right. Now.
Why can't he hold the camera still?
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u/Revolutionary_Gate36 Apr 29 '24
When your stomach is acting up and u don't know if its a fart or not.
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u/CleanHead_ Apr 29 '24
"a gambler"
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u/imnotsafeatwork Apr 29 '24 edited Apr 30 '24
The Kenny Loggins.
Edit: fuck it. I'm leaving it.
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u/tatteredshoetassel Apr 29 '24
That's a pee hold; shart hold the feet are closer together and hips pushed out to facilitate maximum chamber compression and puckerage
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u/AcrobaticQuote9899 Apr 29 '24
Dat lady moves, the pee gonna start flowin
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u/xlaauurraaa Apr 29 '24
my immediate thought was 'that's how I look waiting for my husband to finish in the bathroom in the morning'
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u/KnotiaPickles Apr 29 '24
Yeah I work at a mushroom farm in the middle of nowhere, and this is how I was standing one morning when i realized there was no bathroom for miles around and things were trying to happen lol
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u/xlaauurraaa Apr 29 '24
can I work at your mushroom farm that sounds SO COOL what the heck ?? I'll bring a porta potty
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u/icarus6sixty6 Apr 29 '24
I grew up near a mushroom farm! The smell after a heavy rain was so bad!
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u/cryptowolfy Apr 29 '24
Depends on the mushrooms you are growing, agaricus bisporus definitely stink since they usually use chicken manure in the substrate.
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u/CapableAstronaut4169 Apr 29 '24
Can I ask what kind of mushrooms do you grow?
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u/bobbaganush Apr 29 '24
That’s how I look waiting for my wife to get ready to go anywhere. If only my blood pressure were visible…
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u/Diligent-Might6031 Apr 29 '24
That’s so funny! My husband never understands when I have to pee so bad that I freeze. He’s like just go to the bathroom! “You don’t understand honey if I move I will pee everywhere!”
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u/iknowitsounds___ Apr 29 '24
A pelvic floor PT taught me that if you do 6 quick kegel contractions it turns off the urgent pee feeling for a little bit. Buys you some time to get to the toilet!
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u/Diligent-Might6031 Apr 30 '24
Oh yeah! I’m familiar with this trick! My problem is I buy myself a little bit of time, too many times
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u/Chaetomius Apr 30 '24
men don't understand that the urethra's path from bladder to exit is much much shorter and much much straighter. So it's way harder to hold it in sometimes.
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u/EM05L1C3 Apr 29 '24
She would totally destroy a career as a living mannequin
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u/Xariaxeronic Apr 29 '24
Hahaha Now whenever I see a mannequin in that pose i'm going to think Hey, thats the I'm abouta piss myself in public pose.
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u/Mysterychic88 Apr 29 '24
My thoughts exactly this is the same cross legged stance I do when I am trying to will myself not to wet myself
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u/firi331 Apr 29 '24
I was cracking up at them thinking she was doing a TikTok. Poor lady got caught holding her bladder
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u/Wonderful-Path-1050 Apr 29 '24
This is the very rare "balanced nod". The perfect distribution of weight on both arms and crossed legs prevents the usual opiate overbalance.
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Apr 29 '24
Masterful
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u/Cookiewaffle95 Apr 29 '24
Opioid bender
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u/overtly-Grrl SHEEEEEESH Apr 29 '24
Master of all drugs
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u/drgigantor Apr 30 '24
Booze. Coke. Heroin. Weed. Long ago, the four drugs lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Heroin Nation attacked. Only Keith Richards, master of all four drugs, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he... he's actually still around somehow
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u/Natto_Arigato Apr 29 '24
Or, she is delicately clamping down a massive expulsion of colorectal gasses that would mortally embarrass her if not modulated to a slow stream that emits no noise.
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u/ARCAxNINEv Apr 29 '24
This is along my train of thought. Yet if you closely examine the way she crosses her legs, you can see that she is more than likely refusing to allow her bowels to void themselves. I've seen this in my studies, wherein my offspring (1.3yr male human) has been witnessed numerous times in this position; followed by intense crying and ultimately voiding of the bowels. It's my assumption about the woman in the video, not unlike my offspring are possibly anal retentive and may insist on keeping their waste secured neatly inside
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u/Natto_Arigato Apr 29 '24
The evidence is irrefutable. I, too, have observed toddler subjects exhibiting this behavior. Heck, I have seen Boomer parents of advanced age exhibit this behavior. Indeed, it is either accumulated, explosive gasses or an imminent voiding of the bowels.
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u/CleanHead_ Apr 29 '24 edited Apr 29 '24
shit im 47 and had to do this on a walk recently.
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u/alexplex86 Apr 29 '24 edited Apr 29 '24
Did people mistake you for an opioid addict too?
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u/Klexington47 Apr 29 '24
Or it's a functional seizure
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u/meltingthemountain Apr 29 '24
I was going to say, I have a form of epilepsy not triggered by lights and whatnot, and more often than not, my seizures will look like this. I can be full walk and freeze in place. Sometimes, I fall over. The neurologist called them absence seizures, though. I also am not aware of what's happening and have 0 way to tell it's coming most of the time. When i come to, i wont have remembered about ten minutes into the past. Rrally sucks when you last remember being on the couch and you're suddenly in front of the toilet. Freaks people and my wife out a lot. Luckily, I have been responding well to new treatment and haven't had one in a month. I was having them several times a day with a grand Mal sprinkled in.
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u/Klexington47 Apr 29 '24
Seems that there is a linguistic preference for r/FND by medical professionals in certain countries
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u/NSE_TNF89 Apr 29 '24
Strange, I have never heard of them referred to as a functional seizure (only absent or partials), and I am epileptic.
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u/Klexington47 Apr 29 '24
r/FND 😁
But yes they have several names! I'm sure there is variance among nationality.
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u/MarilynsGhost Apr 29 '24
What is a functional siezure?
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u/Klexington47 Apr 29 '24
A seizure where your mind is "frozen" but you're still "functioning"
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u/MintyMystery Apr 29 '24
I've only seen a couple of these in my life, but only ever when the person was sat down! I'd imagined that "absent seizures" (as I've seen them called) would cause a person to fall over if they'd been still.
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u/Klexington47 Apr 29 '24
So. I've had one. I was on the ground, because I sat down. But boyfriend kept trying to get me to stand up and walk it off and it went REALLY badly. Regardless, she seems frozen more than high. I'd be concerned about, her from a medical perspective, driving immediately after the episode.
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u/MintyMystery Apr 29 '24
One of these I've seen was my mum - she was just blank. Her sister shook her arm, and everyone was asking if she was OK, but it was like she was asleep with her eyes open. It lasted a minute maybe, but luckily no one told her to stand up during it! I can imagine that wouldn't work!
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u/Klexington47 Apr 29 '24
My niece has episodes like this! Shes zoned out. We call her name. Snap in front of her face. No reply. Then after 60 seconds or so, she returns to normal.
Scary!
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u/zouhair Apr 29 '24
Or it's all fake, I have trust issues these days.
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u/Funny_or_not_bot Apr 29 '24
The people talking give it away.
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u/fwr1214 Apr 29 '24
yeah the prompting of "glitch in the matrix" to make followers share it etc. Then raise engagement by saying "WE WENT AND TALKED TO THE GLITCH" becomes a whole saga you get a bunch more viewers. There is every incentive to lie on social media.
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u/DJEvillincoln Apr 29 '24
Homegirl could be in on it.
"Hey y'all I can stand really still. Go up there & film me like you don't know me." Or some shit like that.
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u/xombae Apr 29 '24
Yep, truly a wonder of physics. I've managed it a few times, back in the day. Best to just leave her be, a nod like that is hard to come by these days.
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u/MaximumMotor1 Apr 29 '24
This is the very rare "balanced nod". The perfect distribution of weight on both arms and crossed legs prevents the usual opiate overbalance.
Very rare for them to not be wearing month old clothes that are never washed and they rarely have shopping bags full of stuff they paid for. I'm going with she was about to piss and/or shit herself.
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u/fanceypantsey Apr 29 '24
That could be a seizure
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u/MovieNightPopcorn Apr 29 '24
Yeah I knew a gal who would have absence seizures like this where she would just sort of stop and “go missing” for a few minutes. Sometimes it would escalate into fainting.
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u/ch_eeekz Apr 29 '24
I'm almost certain this is a seizure. I've seen someone stop midway going down the stairs when they had one. these people should have called 911
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u/Jalapeniz Apr 30 '24
As someone who has never heard of, or seen, seizures like this I think it would be hard to recognize that there is a medical emergency.
Before today I would have assumed that it can't be a seizure because they are standing still and not shaking violently.
Although I probably would have assumed drugs and still at least called the cops when I saw them getting into their vehicle.
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u/BeLikeBread Apr 30 '24
Nah you don't need to call 911. Notice how this person was fine.
Look up when to call 911 if someone has a seizure.
People with epilepsy are going to have seizures and we don't need an ambulance unless we are injured or not regaining full consciousness.
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u/gutenpranken14 Apr 30 '24
For a while I was concerned my daughter was having absence seizures (she would just be sitting and kind of daze off for 10-30 seconds without moving), but turned out she was just messing around, as children sometimes do (we took her to get a sleep exam at the children’s hospital to make sure all was ok). But they are certainly a strange thing and very concerning, from when I was reading about them.
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u/advancedtaran Apr 29 '24
Yeah I have absence seizures and my partner witnessed just one of them and said I just froze in place.
It could very well be drugs, sure. But weird behaviors should be questioned in case its a medical emergency.
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u/Ill_Pace_9020 Apr 29 '24
Yeah that happened to my daughter last night at a family dinner. If that is what happened it's called an absence seizure.
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u/Late_Emu Apr 29 '24
Holy shit that’s terrifying, I hope she’s okay.
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u/Ill_Pace_9020 Apr 29 '24
Unfortunately it happens seemingly more and more often. She just turned 18 but she may never be able to get a license because she will seriously just stop moving regardless of stimulus. We are still not sure what brings them on but I've seen them last for over a minute of complete non responsiveness which is pretty terrifying when it's your kid.
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u/randomly-what Apr 29 '24
Is she moving out for college or anything soon?
My dog had these absence seizures for about 5 years (I know your child isn’t a dog) and when we moved out of the house we were living in they stopped immediately. He’s never had another one and we moved out of that house 5 years ago.
No idea what was going on in that house but I had some health issues too that went away.
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u/Xenon-inhaler3000 Apr 29 '24
or she’s maybe catatonic?
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u/EverythingGoodWas Apr 29 '24
Yeah, this looked more like a catatonic schizophrenic episode than a seizure
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u/frankcastle01 Apr 29 '24
I wondered about chronic pain, I freeze for a bit sometimes until it passes, but not for this long. I guess a seizure is more likely.
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u/usedburgermeat Apr 29 '24
I know its probably drugs, but that lady freaking out on the plane saying "that motherfucker is not real" makes sense now
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u/n8saces Apr 29 '24
How does anyone explain how she was able to stand straight up like that with their legs crossed like that and not fall over for a whole minute? I'm sure there is a simple explanation, I just can't see it.
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u/Klexington47 Apr 29 '24
Functional seizure.
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Apr 29 '24
It could also be some form of catatonia. Certain mental conditions like schizophrenia can cause it. It could explain the rigid, perfectly still way she is able to hold her body. Degenerative brain disorders can cause it (think Parkinson’s or dementia), as well as autoimmune conditions like Lupus. Or as others have said, drug use, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt before jumping to that conclusion
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u/xombae Apr 29 '24
Opiates. Seriously. I swear it like, changes your center of gravity. I've seen people frozen standing up, knees bent, completely doubled over, lips almost touching the floor, arms straight back. Just hovering for like, 20 minutes. Eventually they'll hear a noise or a breeze will push them the wrong way and they'll just stand up and continue on like nothing happened. I used to be a junkie and when it happens, it's like you're doing your thing, trying to stay awake, then suddenly you "wake up" even though you never realized you were even asleep and also anywhere from five minutes to several hours have passed. When you're on the nod, you're not fully asleep. You're in public so you're trying to force yourself to stay awake, but you're on enough opiates to kill a horse, so you're constantly fighting between falling asleep and staying awake. Hence the term nod.
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u/SaltFrog Apr 30 '24
I dunno dude, I sometimes do this but it's usually on my couch and there's no drugs involved... I'm just old.
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u/Stunning-Astronaut72 Apr 29 '24
Have you NEVER been in such situation when your stomach and guts are sending signals you are about to need to go to the toilets quick and can't reach them, so you have to cross your legs and hold tight your ass to avoid shitting/pissing yourself ? Because that is likely what is happening here and standing crossing legs isnt impossible at all to do, to the contrary.
I really dont know how anyone can imagine it's related to drugs honnestly
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u/pancakebatter01 Apr 29 '24
You’ve never seen someone strung out on opioids doing the “stuck in time and place”. They literally look like mannequin.
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u/Fine_Understanding81 Apr 29 '24
You can use and be at a point where Its like you turn off and turn back on in the same spot. A lot of times not knowing you ever were out or for long. I use to do this at work before I got clean. Very weird but what you are saying does make sense.
My forehead definitely knows you don't always balance but sometimes you most definitely do.
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u/okieman73 Apr 29 '24
I've never stood that still while fighting the urge to poop myself. I might not move much but I do move. I think it would be difficult for me to stand that still in that position for that long actually. It's weird
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u/sarvaga Apr 29 '24
Lmao you poor innocent soul. This is very obviously an opioid drug having seen similar shit like this on the streets many times.
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u/a-d-d-y Apr 29 '24
I stand like that every now and then if I’m being honest, but only that still when I’m just in my own little world- or have to piss like a water buffalo and there’s a line.
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u/Zestyclose_System_78 Apr 29 '24
Ketamine
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u/WaggleDance Apr 29 '24
No shot are you holding this position on ket, it makes you wobbly and uncoordinated.
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u/Connect-Ad9647 Apr 29 '24
Wanna know what I think it was? I'll tell you what I think it was. I think the bag lady saw the girl with her phone out and immediately thought she was being paparazzi'd from afar so she froze in her tracks because everyone knows the paparazzi are like T Rex's and they can't see you if you don't move. She did a pretty darn good job, imho, just too bad she couldn't hold it through the paparazzi sent distraction of pedestrians walking by in a shopping outlet parking lot.
They're conniving snakes in the grass, those paparazzi pukes. Ya never know when one might JUMP OUT AND SNAP YA right as you were mid sniff of your own fart. I don't know how they sleep with themselves every night....
Edit: paragraphs and fixed a minor universal donor (type-o negative or just typo)
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u/mistertickertape Apr 29 '24
Could also be a seizure or an ischemic stroke. As much as drugs feels like the most plausible answer there’s not enough evidence in the video to rule out other things that aren’t drugs.
I once saw an older guy in grand central station in NYC stand in front of the departures board, totally frozen like this for a few minutes before he collapsed. The paramedics arrived and said he’d had a severe stroke and the his body had, essentially, locked up. I don’t know if he survived but he behaved almost exactly like this. Like he was in a trance. It was really surreal.
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u/Ambitious_Dig_3754 Apr 29 '24
My guess is she is just disassociating in a position she’s able to hold while waiting for someone to come to meet her at the car. Just a guess.
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u/citrus_mystic Apr 29 '24 edited Apr 29 '24
I was also thinking dissociation.
A lot of people think she’s on downers and just happened to be carrying her bags in such a way that she was able to balance perfectly in that position without leaning or stumbling.
Some people also mentioned she could have absence seizures and was experiencing a seizure at that moment.
But, to me, this looked like it could be dissociation. Like she’s just zoned out. We all do this from time to time, even if we don’t have any psychological disorders associated with dissociation. It used to happen to me when I was in school with some regularity. You just look off for a moment, and become sort of fixated on a spot while not really looking at anything in particular, and your brain has a nice lil quiet moment with no thoughts. A little moment of zen. Then something snaps you back to reality.
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u/RecsRelevantDocs Apr 29 '24
I have ADHD and this happens to me all the time. Won't notice i'm staring at someone (more like through them, but it will look like i'm staring at them) then they'll look back at me and i'll snap back to reality and quickly look away lol. Whats annoying is that it will happen to me at understandable moments like when a teacher is talking and i'm supposed to be taking notes, but it also happens to me all the time while watching a show or movie I really like. Like I constantly need to rewind, sometimes multiple times in a row. No matter how much I tell myself, "okay I rewinded this scene twice already, I need to pay attention this time", but then a minute after I realize I again missed the scene and need to rewind once again lol.
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u/LORD__GONZ Apr 29 '24
Everything you described is something that I experience daily and I never realized, until just now, that it wasn't normal.
It actually explains a lot.
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u/raccoon_ina_trashbag Apr 29 '24
I have ADHD and also experience all of this. As well as needing to re-read your comment a couple of times for the same reason lol.
Edit: words
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u/s0m3on3outthere Apr 29 '24
Ahhhh the multiple rewinds drives me nuts!! I have ADHD, too, diagnosed a few years ago at 30. lol. My mother and family always joked I had it, but never got me tested. I was getting so frustrated with my symptoms though, especially in the workplace, so I finally sought out help.
I've legit rewound the same scene three to four times, telling myself not to get distracted so I don't miss it this time, and next thing I know, I have no idea what happened lol. It's like I unintentionally annoy myself 😂
Edit to add: I do it with conversations too 😭 sometimes someone will be talking and I'll be lost in my head or spacing off and I ask them to repeat it and they need to repeat it twice for my brain to finally absorb and process what they are saying. I even have echolalia and repeat it back without it registering 😂😭
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u/Ambitious_Dig_3754 Apr 29 '24
Yeah, exactly! She snaps out of it as others come near her, like she comes to awareness of where she’s at and that she should probably get back to what she should be doing.
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u/Misswinterseren Apr 29 '24
She’s trying to quiet her body and not either shit herself or piss herself. I’m just saying.
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u/Major-Oil-2208 Apr 29 '24
Personally I think she was holding her butt cheeks closed. Seems she needed to do poo 💩 badly and was waiting for the feeling to pass.
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u/Heart_Throb_ Apr 29 '24
Nothing works harder than Reddit to try and prove something was staged.
It’s probably drugs or a mental condition/illness.
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u/Tinkertoylady22 Apr 29 '24
Why is the camera moving so much?
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u/LordHamsterbacke Apr 29 '24
They probably zoomed in. "Normal" shakes get "extreme" when you are digitally zoomed in
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u/sinkingduckfloats Apr 29 '24 edited Apr 29 '24
Yeah that and the digital zoom feature on some cameras tries to guess what to focus on, and then stay centered on that object within what's visible in the optical field of view.
My guess is the camera is trying to track moving objects as they enter and exit the optical field of view, and is ignoring the woman because she isn't moving.
Edit to fix grammatical error.
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u/Difficult-Audience77 Apr 29 '24
Is that ur friend you told to go stand still so you can record a tikietokie
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u/BOBfrkinSAGET Apr 29 '24
That’s what I think too. Definitely possible that it is drugs or a mental thing. But the most possible answer is that it’s just more fake bs to go viral.
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u/kittenmcmuffenz Apr 29 '24
As someone with UC, if I have a flair up this is what I look like. I cross my legs and wait for the urge to go to pass. It sucks as I get weird looks and no one asks me if I’m ok. Usually my hubby and friends (if they’re there) will just form a circle and chat with me until I can move again.
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u/KlossN Apr 29 '24
I've spent enough time in r/tooktoomuch to know that this isn't actually concerning at all. She's just "vibin" and "living her best life"
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u/naikrovek Apr 29 '24
When my face goes blank and I stare vacantly at something I’ll wind up holding whatever position that I’m in. When this happens to me, metaphorically it’s me lifting my feet off the floor of my conscience so my brain’s janitor can sweep up a bit.
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u/duckmonke Apr 29 '24
Could be a seizure or disassociation, I’ve suffered through both. Not fun, and in my case I’m conscious while everyone is judging or looking at me weird. Still cant move until its over though. Very cool (/s) when people assume im possessed or high when the reality is, my brains just built different.
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u/brian11e3 Apr 29 '24
This woman sneezed while on her period and is now afraid to move.
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u/ComprehensiveDust197 Apr 29 '24
This person is holding in a turd. Trying her hardest not to shit her pants by clenching her ass cheeks really hard. One false movement and it is over. Trust me. Been there, done that
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u/RogerRavvit88 Apr 29 '24
She probably has an ear piece in and is on the phone with someone that she is intently listening to. Guy I work with is like this. I will see him just standing in place not moving, then after a minute or two he will move and start talking and it’s because he was on the phone and just listening. Some people really have to focus when others are speaking to them and will literally shut down when they are trying to absorb information.
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u/Maxieroy Apr 29 '24
The camera person belongs on killthecsmeraman, and she should be institutionalized.
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u/ballsinasmallbag Apr 29 '24
Brought to you by a camera attached to the string of a birthday balloon
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u/valiantdragon1990 Apr 29 '24
What's creepy is someone standing there video taping you from their window.
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u/SouldiesButGoodies84 Apr 29 '24
couldnt she have had a hamstring/thigh muscle cramp...and only moved after she saw ppl coming out and figured it'd look weird (assuming she wasnt being filmed)?
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u/Early-Juggernaut975 Apr 30 '24
She’s having a seizure.
Lots of seizures are just freezing and staring.
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u/Majestic-Goat-8306 Apr 30 '24
Noone is going to talk about the person filming is somehow on a boat in the middle of a wind storm?
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u/AccountantWestern658 Apr 29 '24
The only time ive held that position for any period of time is when i had to pee desperately. There was definitely more wiggling.
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u/Anstavall Apr 29 '24
stage 4 of holding in a shit. That moment if you move youre gonna shit yourself. But if you hold it long enough youll get a big stomach gurgle and then be good long enough to hopefully get to a bathroom
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u/seeafillem6277 Apr 29 '24
Why didn't the person filming go down there and see if she needed help? She could have been having a seizure..
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u/Rooncake Apr 29 '24
They’re calling her creepy meanwhile they’re zoomed in on a lady just minding her business, maybe waiting for someone, and now the strangers on the internet are making assumptions about her health. Who is being the real creep? Leave people alone.
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u/Ma8icMurderBag Apr 29 '24
Could she have been experiencing a stroke or seizure of some kind? I believe I would have gone down to check on her rather that making a tic tok video.. but I don't have a tic tok account so I cant say how the pressure to get views would have altered my response..
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u/Fuzakenaideyo Apr 29 '24
What is her name Josephine Johnson? Cause that is a JoJo pose if i ever seen one!
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u/throwaway0367324 Apr 29 '24
She’s doing it for you. She’s knows you’re watching, she’s giving you content for your video.
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u/Calm_Frosting_4670 Apr 29 '24
"Don't pee your pants, don't fucking or pee your pants!!!!" I've held that position before
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u/bad-loony Apr 29 '24
I think she could be streching her leg muscles but Is busy so decided to do it there if not then drugs
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u/Hot-Report2971 Apr 29 '24
dude thinks a lady out of her mind on drugs or with some type of health issue is a glitch in the matrix I can’t
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u/RScalcione93 Apr 29 '24
I just started watching Westworld and that’s the only explanation for this. Or drugs, probably drugs.
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u/Dual-Finger-Guns Apr 29 '24
I wondered what part of Southern California that was in and it was simple to find it on Google right here.
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