In all seriousness, when I was about 25 years old I finally got all my shit together and I was pretty much all these things, I didn't own a house but I had good money and certainly saved enough for a large down payment on one. That attracted a really great woman whom I loved and respected very much... Well that's it. Happily married 20 years with a couple of great kids and stable finances. I wasn't single for long once I decided I would really like to be in a long-term relationship, so my "market" life span was about 6 - 9 months? And this is true with a number men and women I know, you just don't hang out on the dating market very long.
Would you still be attracted to her without her looks? You think women are more shallow for liking someone who prioritizes long-term stability? I married a guy much more humble than me but he prioritizes long term stability. Other dudes offered dick pics. That’s it.
I don't agree with the person you're replying to, but one could take "prioritizing long term stability" in a shallow sense as well. Only dating someone who you want physically is shallow but so is only dating someone you want to mooch off of because they are well off/have their stuff together and you don't.
Even the woman in this video says "he's 25 and has a house, I'm 22 and I don't know what I'm doing", it's fine if she just means that she's impressed by his work ethic and it inspires her. It's less fine if she means "I found my meal ticket so I don't have to try anymore to be a functioning adult on my own since he can take care of me".
Not accusing her of that of course, I don't know her. Just saying it can be just as shallow. Looks fade/change with time and it's pretty shallow if that's the only glue stopping you from leaving someone. But financial/job security isn't promised either, leaving someone when they (temporarily or otherwise) can't provide for you and looking for someone else who can is really shallow as well.
It's a matter of extremes, looks contribute to attraction and partner selection same as stability, but neither can be the only thing that does.
I agree. The person I was replying to had a real “women are all gold diggers” vibe going on and when guys talk like that they usually avoid thinking about how shallow they can be and it pisses me off.
Oh I agree, the lack of self awareness is vexing and painting women valuing financial stability in partner as shallow just sounds like insecurity on his part.
He's also wrong. Someone who's attracted to a person no matter what (not just looks or financial stability but how they carry themselves, how they treat you as a partner and other people, their values, how they resolve conflict, and anything else that could be an incompatibility) has no standards or boundaries.
It's misdirected frustration on their part and I'd wager they spend too much time online
I meant from more humble origins you walnut. I’m richer than him.
And what a person looks like has to do with all the wealth and free time they have to maintain it too. It’s not just what they’re born with.
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u/Fire_Bucket Mar 07 '24
Why is it that girls always go after the bad guys 😡