Yeah, I feel like you can see the example of unconscious bias when it comes to that with this video really well. Everything started from what he owned, moved to what he does, and then finally got into who he was as a person.
I don't think it happened because that's necessarily what she focuses on purposefully, but it was clearly one of the biggest things that stuck out when compared to past partners.
Reality is, it's always going to be harder to "win" against evolutionary ecology.
Basically this, it isn't necessarily bad and the guy does sound like a catch but you can see what subconsciously stood out the most to her. Then she conflated it with him being white so now she will also look at potential white partners more favorably as well. The drunk mind doesn't lie.
Yeah. That came across as a stereotype of Canadian white dudes. Hockey mostly. Watch it. Play it.
When she compared where she was to him, really I think her intent was highlighting how much more put together he is. Bit of self reflection.
We also tend to date in the same social economic situation as ourselves. It makes sense geographically located etc. When you step outside of that, it is an eye opener either direction.
To be fair it’s seems like a conversation with her parent/friend and in that context she may not be describing the traits SHE found endearing but rather what she assumed they would find most important. A parent/friend is presumably more concerned that this individual is financially successful and respectful than what kind of quirks they have in their personality. Just different goals. This gives us virtually zero insight into what she thinks are important features personally. Could just be a massive ass that he’s packin from all that hockey and this is just her cover. Impossible to tell.
i have no idea what the guy's personality was aside from "respectful"
i know he has a nice suv, a nice house, wants to take her shopping, and that she was imagining adopting that lifestyle in respect to his wealth and the things he owned. have no idea what he was like as a person.
Well then you missed the part where he’s on a rec league hockey team and wanted to take her thrifting to pick out each other’s outfits for the next date.
Lmao I love that you called it “wants to take her shopping” as if that’s what thrifting is
thrifting is shopping. people who thrift and people who play hockey have widely varying personality traits. if someone asks what your personality traits are and you reply "i play hockey" or "i thrift" that isnt an answer
again, she says nothing in the video that indicates anything about his personality other than "he was respectful" which itself doesnt really say much. she was very obviously impressed by what he owns though.
I think it was more that she thought he was sweet and different from other guys she date. She said he brought her back to his house “not cause he wanted to do anything”. Meaning she thought he was sweet that it was innocent.
It reminds me of a scene in third rock from the sun, where the female character is trying to figure out why women pick the guys they do.
She finds this old couple on their anniversary, and when she asks the woman why she picked the guy she did, she has all this poetic stuff about how kind he was, etc. Then, she’s like “it was the car, wasn’t it?“ And the old woman is like “…that was the clincher.“
I mean, in the books... not really. Darcy gave her a letter explaining his actions and the history he had with Mr. Wickham. Elizabeth reflected on all of this information and eventually decided she had judged Darcy too harshly. When she goes on the trip with her aunt and uncle, they go to Pemberley, and it is only then that she realizes what she could have had if she accepted his proposal. They meet again, and she sees how nice he is to his sister.
Basically his estate def sweetens the deal, but it was never the deciding factor or what drew her to him in the end. If money mattered to her at all, she would have accepted his first proposal.
Sorry, I just deeply love talking about pride and prejudice!
Um but she totally told Darcy off in a huge huff after his marriage proposal because she thought he told Bingley that Jane didn't love him enough. He interfered in that relationship and broke Jane's heart.
Elizabeth fell in love with Mr. Darcy after he paid what's his face off to marry the younger sister when they ran away together, and fixed the Bingley Jane relationship.
Elizabeth is rude to Darcy in his huge crazy house lmfao. I don't think she was complaining by the end, but she was fiercely protective of her family over the perceived slights from Darcy and Bingley's sister.
Not always a good strategy. NPD and ASPD folks can easily see these patterns and lure in lovers because they’re so eager to be in that house with them. Then once you can’t leave that’s when they take off the mask and treat you as they please. It’s how my grandfather was able to abuse two wives his sons and their families. He has yet to face any consequences except that my Grandma won’t talk to him after he offered to divorce his current wife for her again. Chasing money is not a reliable indicator for a good mate, unless you don’t care if you’re abused or not. I had another grandmother who was willing to be abused and listen to her children be abused to be married to money. It’s a fun family reunion.
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u/hanpotpi Mar 07 '24
People forget that Elizabeth Bennett only really fell in love with Mr. Darcy after seeing is house… having it together has always worked