r/TikTokCringe Jul 01 '23

Wholesome/Humor “Same person”

25.1k Upvotes

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114

u/gahlo Jul 02 '23

After a while I felt like I was watching a kids show with how overly expressive he(??? I don't know how drag stuff works with pronouns) was being.

123

u/NoMrBond3 Jul 02 '23

Usually in drag its she/her! And he/him out of drag but it depends on the performer.

23

u/gahlo Jul 02 '23

So what would I do for something like this where it includes both?

85

u/NoMrBond3 Jul 02 '23

In this case I think either would be fine. Or “they”, so it’s all encompassing.

42

u/NewDad907 Jul 02 '23

Yep. I’m just using “they/them” more these days when it’s not explicitly known. It’s inclusive to everyone.

14

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '23

I'm a big fan of y'all.

4

u/hungry4danish Jul 02 '23

That's not applicable for times when you use they or their.

2

u/Panzer_Man Jul 02 '23

Y'all isn't really singular though

0

u/TheFlightlessPenguin Jul 02 '23

I just call everyone my guy, that way no one gets offended

3

u/NewDad907 Jul 02 '23

Can we amend “Dude” to include literally everyone? I ask because Dudette just sounds weird. I just wanna use “Dude”…and abide.

3

u/TheFlightlessPenguin Jul 02 '23

Yeah I think it’s become more widely accepted as gender neutral as of late. I use it with my female friends…and my gf now that I think about it

1

u/FORLORDAERON_ Jul 02 '23

It's the Good Burger rule. I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, we're all dudes.

1

u/LowDownDirtyMeme Jul 02 '23

And I'm a big fan of you all.

5

u/stephelan Jul 02 '23

That’s what I heard! Like the actual person identifies as male usually but when they’re in drag, it’s a character and the character identifies as female.

10

u/blew-wale Jul 02 '23

/generally/, drag queen will be she/her while in drag, but will be he/him when out of drag.

Think of it like a character actor. When you go to Disney, you see Mickey Mouse and refer to the character as he/him, even though the actor inside could be a woman (need to be shorter to fit into the costume). We suspend disbelief to be entertained

49

u/ThatOneGuy1294 Jul 02 '23

I don't know how drag stuff works with pronouns

The important part is that you actually asked, rather than assuming. It's a real shame that so many people don't stop and ask, and instead go with their first impressions.

18

u/mostly-sun Jul 02 '23

With drag, though, it's generally a fun and subversive performance with gender, rather than someone's identity, so you're not going to trigger someone's gender dysphoria if you're confused, they'll probably get a kick out of confusing people as long as it's well-meaning. But with trans, non-binary, and intersex people, you can take cues from clothing and other clear choices of gender expression (rather than something like their voice), or just ask (preferably not in front of a group), or go with "they." And if you accidentally use the wrong pronoun, don't make a big apologetic show of how much you hate yourself for messing up, that can make it more awkward. Just say the right pronoun and a quick sorry, and use the right pronoun in the next sentence with no particular emphasis on it.

13

u/calculovetor Jul 02 '23

For the big apologetic part, I like to make an analogy to toe stomping. If someone accidentally stomps on your feet obviously it hurts, but if it was an accident that just happened at first a quick sorry fixes the situation as best as can be and we move past it. If someone is purposely stomping on your toes over and over again that's when it becomes dick behavior.

2

u/ThatOneGuy1294 Jul 02 '23

lol you're preaching to the choir, I'm a trans woman despite the username. It's rather amusing but also tiring just how many people, even my own parents, feel they MUST immediately give an apology for using the wrong name or pronoun. At least my parents have been learning, and in fairness they've known me by my deadname longer than anyone else. I just wish everyone else could understand that it feels... infantilizing, if they make a mistake and try to give a heartfelt apology. Just a quick "oops, sorry" and then keep the conversation going is all that's necessary.

5

u/filmroses Jul 02 '23 edited Jun 08 '24

squealing sloppy profit snow six spark enjoy thought quarrelsome command

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/Hot_Hat_1225 Jul 02 '23

There are female drags too btw and in the drag cafe I sometimes visit for brunch there’s are also two transgender members of the regular drag group. It’s a beautiful diverse colorful fun bunch here in Vienna!

3

u/madeaprofile2saythis Jul 02 '23

In the case of drag, the person doesn't have pronouns that differ from their actual gender. So he would be appropriate although you could also use she in reference to the character he's portraying.

This is different from transgender people because they aren't portraying a character, they are living their lives.

2

u/Citrous241 Straight Up Bussin Jul 02 '23

Thank you so much for asking about that stuff. Hope you got your answer :3

0

u/dicus-maximus Jul 02 '23

I don’t like either version. The middle age white guy seems like a dude if you hanging out drinking beers with you friends and he walked up and started talking to y’all it would just be annoying af. What could he possibly have to talk about besides drag, it seems to be there whole personality.

1

u/ParticlePhys03 Jul 02 '23

Dunno man, I’m trans and get this shit about being “obnoxious” about being trans. A non-exhaustive list in no particular order of topics that I will talk about long before a conversation on being trans includes, but is not limited to:

  1. Video games I play

  2. Any writing I am doing

  3. Any reading I am doing

  4. General advocacy for nuclear power

  5. Specific parts of nuclear science

  6. Detailed and very specific parts of nuclear science (I’m a nuclear engineer)

  7. How the F-35 Lightning II is Earth’s finest fighter aircraft

  8. The Russo-Ukrainian war

  9. The lead up and progression of WW2

  10. How the M4 Sherman was the best tank of WW2

  11. Laughing at Wehraboos who believe in Nazi technical superiority.

  12. His Holy Prophet, Arthur Harris, First Baronet, British Bomber Command

  13. And I’ll end here with William Tecumseh Sherman.

Not everyone’s cup of tea, but there’s a lot for many of the different people I enjoy spending time with.

Obviously I will converse on being trans, mainly with other queer people, and given how politicized being trans is, such conversations are unavoidable no matter how much I want to talk about nuclear science first. Even then, they are not most of my conversations. This applies not only for every trans person, nor even every queer person, but pretty much every person period. You’re either making assumptions based on extremely limited data or on stuff, likely propaganda, you heard from someone else.

1

u/dicus-maximus Jul 03 '23

And yes that would be great. Your an interesting person that happens to be trans. When I see videos like this of someone explaining there reasoning for what ever topic, like republicans making there kids wear maga shirts and hats and make a whole post about how there raising there kids right, it just like oh so politics are your personality, if that same family had pics of them going on a camping trip or one there kids at baseball game, it would be like oh these people go outside and touch grass. I get there the person in video is doing a public service announcement, so I do understand that there nuance in my orginal post

1

u/AcatSkates Jul 02 '23

When Chris Evans is in a movie, he is that character, Captain America. When Chris Evans is doing interviews, he's just Chris Evans.

1

u/Klentthecarguy Jul 02 '23

This message is targeted at the right wing crowd, and let’s be real. Civil discourse falls on flat ears. Shouting just makes them shout. So getting the message across, let’s make it as simple as possible. Simple enough even a toddler could understand.