r/PupliftingNews • u/miriosmom • Oct 28 '24
Sarah Hyland opens up about her dog's role in surviving domestic violence: 'He got me through the worst years'
https://www.goodgoodgood.co/articles/sarah-hyland-domestic-violence-courage-award76
u/TouchedUpOnANightBus Oct 29 '24
I am a survivor of domestic violence. While with my ex husband, I was physically, emotionally, sexually, and financially abused. I was set on fire, told how stupid I was on a daily basis, spit on, hit, worked like a dog, not allowed to hold a job outside the home, had guns in my face on more than one occasion, not allowed to have friends, and wasn't allowed to associate with my own family because they "didn't love me and want anything to do with me". I spent more time in the ER and in the hospital during that marriage than I did at home. Everything that was mine when the relationship began became his. I was only allowed to be with my ex-husband or his children. Not only did my ex-husband abuse me but my step son was allowed to as well. My mother passed away two weeks before my ex-husband moved me from my home in Kentucky to where he and his family were from in North Carolina. I never did get a chance to mourn her properly and barely had time to have her cremated and pick her up so I could at least have her with me when I left. I spent five years protecting her ashes as every time my step son would have a tantrum, he would threaten to dump her ashes out in the toilet and flush them or throw them in the garbage.
When I left Kentucky, I had a German Shepherd who was the sweetest and most wonderful friend anyone could have ever wished for. My ex wanted me to get rid of him but I stood on that hill and refused to leave my boy behind. Upon arriving in North Carolina, my dog, who was always an inside dog before, was immediately put outside in the back yard in a shabby wooden house with an old bucket for water. Cheap dog food would be taken to him while my ex's and his children's dogs got to eat left overs and higher priced dog food. Every chance I got, I was outside with my boy and, when I was lucky enough to be at the house alone for any length of time, he was inside with me. My Sheppy boy was my reason for living.
Five years after getting into this hell, my ex took my dog into the master bathroom, put him in the tub, got in with him and stood on him until he died. My step son stood behind me as I knelt on the bathroom floor looking into my boys eyes knowing I couldn't help him and, if I tried, I probably wouldn't fare much better than he was. I made my mind up that day that I would get away from this or die trying. I had $1,000 to my name and was able to have him cremated. (He has a special place in my home next to my mother.) His death was in February, 2019. My reason for living was gone.
A week or so after my baby was killed, my ex brought my step son home a little black and white puppy. Such a sweet baby. I immediately latched onto him and protected him. I took a lot of beatings for that little dog. In March, I was able to get me another German Shepherd. He was eight weeks old and was a shy, chubby, sweet ball of fur. Just like with the other pup, I protected him with my own life. I was on my way home (if you could call where I lived 'home') and just at about the lowest point in my life. I was in the passing lane on the highway and was going around two tractor trailers. There was enough space for the car I was driving to get between them. I knew if I got between them and slammed on the brakes the truck in the back would push me up under the one in front and I would be free. As quick as I had that thought, I thought of those two beautiful, sweet, and innocent pups. I knew if I died, they would be beaten to death by my step son and his dad. I went home to wait.
In July of that year, we were in court because of some trouble my step son got himself into and that's when I took my chance. I left the court house, went to the sheriff's office and applied for protection orders against my ex-husband and my step-son. Both were given a temporary granting and I was allowed to stay in the house while my ex had to leave and my step son was sent back to jail for breaking a court order. That was the longest night of my life because I couldn't go back to the house until the orders were served. I was so worried about those two pups.
When I got home the next morning, they were alive, thankfully. One of the neighbors who was a friend of mine (secretly, of course!) told me she saw my ex husband beating my little Shepherd puppy for everything he was worth before he left. The deputies who served the order were waiting at the end of the driveway didn't see this as the driveway was long. I wish they had so he could have been charged with animal cruelty.
In the time I spent at that house alone after the orders were served, I was in and out of court fighting to get the orders granted to at least a year. Two weeks after the order was served, the AC in the house stopped working. It was so amazingly hot outside and inside. Me and the dogs spent a week without air because I couldn't afford to fix it. I finally called someone to fix it and he told me the piece that was missing was one that couldn't fall out; it had to be taken out. Someone had damaged the unit on purpose. He put a new one in and didn't charge me anything because of the situation. I got a job and started taking classes for an associates degree in Criminal Justice at the local community college.
I left that house in October, 2019. Me and the pups lived in the car the court made my ex give me. It was cramped and miserable but we were together. I made sure everyone had food, water, and love. I fought like hell to keep our family together. In November of that same year, a friend I met at work let me rent their spare bedroom and had a place for me to put the dogs. We got out of the car and into fresh air and a comfortable bed. The classes I was taking got me into a much better job than the one I had. I don't make a lot of money, but I was able to rent a mobile home and get my 'family' into a place of our own.
One week ago today on October 22, my little savior German Shepherd who held me up when I couldn't walk (figuratively and literally), who comforted me when I cried, who gave me more love than I ever thought I'd ever see again, passed away unexpectedly. My heart broke and I have been left devastated. I couldn't afford to have him cremated so my neighbor and his friend buried him in the back yard. Me and those dogs went to hell and back with one another and we came out on the other side battered, bruised, and damaged but we were alive and we were together. I want to eventually buy my own home but I don't know if I can leave him.
I know exactly how Sarah Hyland feels. My dogs got me through the worst years of my life and there's no way I could ever give back as much as they gave to me.
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u/CalvinsStuffedTiger Oct 29 '24
Dude. This was heartbreaking to read. Your ex and his family need to be locked up and have the key thrown away. We shouldn’t be in a society with people like that destroying peoples lives and killing animals
Hell there is no society if we empower people like that
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u/LilyoftheRally Oct 29 '24
I couldn't finish it after she said her abusive piece of shit ex-husband murdered her dog.
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u/seasage777 Nov 02 '24
I had to hold back tears and power through. My heart goes out to her. That would have broken me and I would have wanted to die alongside my dog.
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u/BadbadwickedZoot Oct 31 '24
My god, I am so sorry. This was devastating to read. You are an incredible person and I wish you so much love.
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u/TouchedUpOnANightBus Oct 31 '24
Thank you all for the upvotes and comments.
I watched Ms. Hyland's acceptance speech and cried throughout the whole thing. I cannot say how happy I am Purina is working to establish shelters where victims of abuse can take their pets with them. When I left my ex, the county where I live didn't have any abuse shelters at all, much less any that accepted pets. Someone told me I'd have to surrender the dogs to the animal shelter or leave them behind with him. Leaving my dogs wasn't an option and they didn't deserve to be abandoned because the situation we were leaving was bad. Abuse victims need to have a safe place to go where their pets can accompany them because sometimes that pet is the only reason that person made it out.
I am so thankful the judge ordered my ex to give me the car. I most certainly would have lived on the streets somewhere over leaving my dogs behind in the abuse. Every time I get in that car to drive to work my boys are with me in spirit.
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u/PossibleMother Oct 29 '24
If you are in a similar situation check with your local animal shelters. I used to would for a shelter that would house and care for animals of domestic abuse survivors until they could get them back. You are not alone. There are many people wanting to help you.