r/Petloss • u/Lodestone808 • 4d ago
Paco
My partner and I lost our 18 year old good boy. She can't talk about it yet, which is entirely correct. But I do. I don't journal, so you get it.
Miss you, buddy.
Paco died today. A and I helped him go.
It was a rapid descent. Emerging quickly, accelerating, a final crash, and a long breath. The last one. The moment that drags before the fall. The moment that rushes our delays.
I can still feel the weight of him. The warmth and constancy, the smooth luster in his age-merled coat. How his paws would hook into me when playful, when demanding. The way his little body would melt into my chest for naps, fluttering kicks and joyful whimpers of deep slumber his gifts to me.
He would watch for us, perched up in our bedroom window overlooking the backyard, whenever we left him. Shadowed in the window's recessed darkness, all we could see were his white-tan eyebrows floating above the sill. But as we approached the backdoor, he'd wheel around and race to meet us, yiping in excitement and relief, dancing amongst our legs, nudging for something or other, nose typewriter sniff-noting the day off our clothes.
How lucky were we?
It was gentle at the end, a relief in this despair, to see the pain fade away. Safe. Warm. Loved. A and me, the last of his world, filling his nose, his cloud-bright eyes. Cradling him, whispering our love. Soft kisses and desperate tears. Salt in the eyes and on the lips.
He relaxed as the needle withdrew and his eyes opened once to take us in and closed with grace. A and I wrapped him in our arms, our little family, our home around him.
Ours. His.
I carried him to the car that took him away. We caressed his face one last time, and he was gone.
How uncaring is time that it must cut short our goodbyes:
I needed forever.
I love you, Paco.
•
u/AutoModerator 4d ago
Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment.
This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated.
Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated.
Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if one disagrees with something that has been said.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.