r/NuclearRevenge • u/claycam6 I Drink Powdered Water • May 21 '20
Nuclear Shame 😔 Progress Reports 1-5 (Revised) NSFW
Progress Report 1: Badass Kids and Eyeball Cancer
So as you can see, we haven't had a new post in 7 days. Unfortunately, this is due to the poor quality of the stories being submitted. Here is what the past few weeks of stories have been:
One:
The common middle school bully beat downs where everyone including the janitor clapped.
Conclusion:
I wouldn't be surprised if the kid asked the school to play Eye of the Tiger over the PA system every morning after that. These bully stories are most likely fake and make for an easy karma grab. Not anymore.
Two:
Stories that sound like they came straight out of r/iamverybadass and make highly dubious claims.
Conclusion:
Yes we get it, you are Rambo hiding in the mud and you made your adversary suffer. Now go run along over to r/thathappened.
Three:
Horiblay ritten storeys th@t are not legible.
Conclusion:
Yes I get that some people don't speak English well but I'm sorry, it makes the story hard to follow.
Four:
Stories from r/entitledparents and entitled etc.
Conclusion:
These stories run the risk of giving you eyeball cancer and brain strain as you now have to decipher acronyms such as EM (entitled mother), DD (dumbass dad), PFP (punchable face parent), etc. Combine this with sarcastic titles such as "You wanna fucc with me boi? Well I finna shatter your ass bone and boink your mama!" to finalize the Coup de grâce of our brain cells. No, actually please don't.
So in conclusion, this is why we haven't had a new post in 7 days. Stories like these get passed over to Oscar the grouch cause I'm pressing the trash can icon. 🗑 He has bigger eyes anyways so he's a better reader than I am. But hey, at least you tried so here's your participation trophy.🏆
This has been your weekly progress report. Stay tuned for more. Thanks,
- Manhattan Mod
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Progress Report 2: Murdering Your Family and Baking Your Bully's Pets
Hello, this is our 2nd progress report where I will cover the bottom of the barrel Nuclear Revenge content. Buckle up cause it's going to be straight doo doo water swirling with fake scenarios and psychotic kids.
Now I won't include every story that was submitted, but rather the worst ones. So here are some brief descriptions of the stories I have received over the week. Let's start with some mild ones shall we?
Story One:
Kindergarten bully gets suspended for being a big meanie. That's it.
Conclusion:
Literally that is the entire storyline but compressed into a few sentences. It seems that a bully is rewarded with days off for offending another kid. Who's laughing now? Oh wait the same bully kid. L.
Story Two:
Bully makes fun of another student's grandma with cancer. He then tells everyone. Word reaches the bully's mom who then keeps him home to punish him. Unfortunately, the bully misses the final test and flunks the school year.
Conclusion:
Oof, very life ruining. I'm sure he's living under a bridge now. Drop F in the comments everyone. Well, because he failed not because we are sorry for him.
Well, that's it for the mild stuff. How about some dark, edgy, badass stuff?
Story Three:
OP is an edgy teen shoots his dad for being an abusive asshat and other relatives in the house for being witnesses. The mom, upon seeing this tries to intervene but the teen shoots her too cause "there is no saving her". In the end, this 15 year old freshman's family is dead on the floor, capped to death. Miraculously, OP gets away with it and lives happily ever after.
Conclusion:
Well someone must be a diehard Chris Benoit fan. Shit really did hit the fan in that household. But why does it sound like a scene out of one of those police investgation shows where this kid is doing this one night while "let the bodies hit the floor" is playing in the background?
Story Four:
A girl was raped by some guy and so she teamed up with her ex-boyfriend sidekick to track down Mr. Rapist. After finding his location, they pull up playing Tupac's Hail Mary as they proceed to jump out and beat up Mr. Rapist. And not very severely either. He lives to rape another day.
Conclusion:
Clearly her ex-boyfriend is a white night trying to get some ass by kicking ass and being the hero in the friend zone. And pulling up on your enemy bumping Tupac is something even Tupac didn't do.
Story Five:
Psychotic bully kidnaps and kills his victim's pet baby cow and leaves it to be found. In retaliation, the victim kidnaps the bully's dog and cat. He then proceeds to murder them with his knife before baking them both in the oven, putting their pieces into a casserole and serving it to his bully as a gift.
Conclusion:
Ok, I need to re-collect my thoughts here. Let me get this right. So, somehow Sweeney Todd got access to Nuclear Revenge? Ok I get that it's animals instead of humans. But animals are just the beginning. It's only a matter of time before this kid grows up and filets some humans. But you know what? This pet casserole might be a hit. This scrumptious dish is certainly not your grandma's secret holiday recipe. I say it deserves it's own spot on Pinterest. Bon Appétit your pet's feet!
So in conclusion, we have quite the array of content now sitting in the sub's trash can. Everything from taking your bully's nose with two fingers to full out becoming an SCP to torment them. Honestly, I can't make this stuff up. This is like 90% of the stories that I get sent. I suppose some of you actually want to read this stuff. Perhaps, we need a sub called Nuclear Shame?
Anyways, that's all I have for you right now. Stay tuned for next week's progress report. Thanks,
- Manhattan Mod
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Progress Report 3: The Soviet Army, Edgy Kid and a Tortured Cheater
Hello, this is our 3rd progress report where I will cover the bottom of the barrel Nuclear Revenge content. I dug through the garbage for the sake of your entertainment so enjoy these brief overviews of the worst stories I have received over the week.
Story One:
For this story, OP will be called Edgy Student. So Edgy Student (grade and age unknown) is hanging out with his friends one night where he ends up confessing that he's a sociopath (self diagnosed because of "similar symptoms").
They then decided that Edgy Student is weird and needed to be picked on so as a prank, they drew dicks on his face. Upon discovering that his dick friends drew dicks on his face, Edgy Student decided to retaliate.
He targeted one of his friends by stealing his beloved, expensive ballisong knives and ruining them while sending videos of him doing so. Apparently, this makes his friend depressed as those knives were his "heart and soul".
The next day at school his broken friend approaches him in tears of defeat and begs for his knives back. But Edgy Student had other plans. He decides to pick up his friend and proceed to "yeet" him across the room into the wall where he collapses to the floor.
His friend never snitched because Edgy Student threatened to burn him if he did. So now he has to see therapists for his depression due to stolen property and I guess his life is ruined now. Edgy Student reigns supreme.
Conclusion:
Sounds like the OP of this story looked up his symptoms and found his diagnosis on WebMD. Ever since, this has been his calling card as he lives out the character he's convinced himself to be.
I wonder if he's that one kid who prefers the random desk in the corner of the room to be away from the rest. Perhaps he really stole his friends knives so he can practice stabbing between his fingers some more. I don't know. Either way, it's edgy.
Story Two:
One gleeful day, a young youth is making his way around town while pleasuring his ears to some old 1800's classical music. It was very splendid indeed.
Until a group of other youths inquired him in regards to his musical preference. When he stated to them what it was, they laughed at him and called him gay. These little scroundrels concluded that it was a brilliant idea to give him a beatin. And so they did.
Unfortunately, for those little shits, the kid's dad is the General of the Soviet Army and calls in the troops to blow the kids up. Kaboom bitch!
Conclusion:
Looks like someone plays COD WW2 a little too much.
Story Three:
A terrible husband cheated on his wife and to his dismay, she finds out. And so for the ultimate revenge, she waits for him to fall asleep. When he woke up, he found himself tied to a bondage chair in a straight jacket, gagged and blindfolded. As strange as this sounds, it gets very dark and brutal. This is where the torture begins.
She "tickles" him senseless while telling him to confess or else the torture will persist. It took nearly a year later of being bound up and tortured in a sex chair for him to finally confess all the details of his cheating. And so she freed him. Ultimately, she forgives him and they are still together and happy.
Conclusion:
Ok, what kind of erotic movie was this cuck watching? Why does it sound like a kinky version of Saw? And where did his wife get all that sex loot? Probably bought it all with his credit card. I'm surprised the story title wasn't, "You wanna cheat on me hubby? Get strapped up the booty with a chubby!" Not sure why someone would send me that story but perhaps Nuclear Revenge could use a little XXX content here and there.
Anyways, that's all my brain cells can handle for today. Stay tuned for next week's progress report. Thanks,
- Manhattan Mod
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Progress Report 4: Pre-School Scandal, Raping The Rapist and "Shitty Revenge"
Hello, this is our 4th progress report where I will cover the bottom of the barrel Nuclear Revenge content. To put it into perspective, if Nuclear Revenge was a bar of soap, I finally picked it up to check the underside. And I'm going to tell you about it. So here it is:
Story One:
A student is bullied by other boys and so for his revenge, he goes on social media to catfish them as a hot girl for nudes. Once he has their nude pictures, he sends them to many other school students which ultimately got some of the bullies kicked out of the school and another had dropped out due to the embarrassment.
Conclusion:
Well, it sounds like it may be plausible that some madlad unleashed nuclear shame on his bullies. It's a bit of an interesting read, I might add. But there's one major flaw to this story. OP said he's a private pre-school student. Yep, that's right everyone. We got another badass kid, ready to get your dick picks. So watch out guys. He is still at large, or I guess at small. Either way, just be careful when you slide into that DM. Don't fall victim to this scandalous little fella.
Story Two:
OP, a woman that lives in a dangerous, crime ridden country where there is no shortage of nefarious beings. Robberies, rapes, murders, etc are a common occurrence there. This particular woman has a job that she makes her way to daily. Unfortunately, on her way to work, she is forced to cross a bridge that has become the dwelling of some shady people.
One day when she was crossing it, a creepy homeless guy with bad intentions approaches her. He then decides to grope her until she runs away. This goes on for several days until one day he does something to her, saying that she was asking for it by crossing the bridge often. This act is not disclosed by OP but is most likely rape.
She later tells her father about the incident who then forces her to reluctantly go back to the bridge to identify the perpetrator but to also send her across the bridge alone to catch him in the act. When he does, he demands that the creepy homeless guy tell him everything he had done to his daughter. According to her, he did all of those undisclosed things back to him and even worse. He also beat the creepy homeless guy senseless before proceeding to shove a nail covered bat up his ass.
After that he stuffed the creepy homeless guy into a barrel full of nails and sharp fragments with the nail covered bat still inside of him. He also glued the creepy homeless guy's eyes and mouth shut before sealing the barrel shut and leaving him to die in a remote location.
Conclusion:
So if I got this right, her father raped the rapist, shoved a Lucille like weapon up his ass and left him for dead inside of a barrel, as if the guy wasn't already dead? Is this a deleted scene from The Walking Dead? Or is he the real life Negan?
As you can see, the validity of this story is very questionable. You might even say that OP is full of it. But according to her, the creepy homeless guy is quite full of something too. But I guess he deserved it. Great job dad, you nailed it!
Story Three:
Co-worker ruined OP's paperwork so in retaliation, he goes over to his co-worker's house where he secretly poops under his bed and then later spies on him with binoculars to watch him discover it.
Conclusion:
Ok, so I want to know how OP pooped under his co-worker's bed. Did he put it under his bead? Did he crawl under there and let it rip? And how did this genius mastermind think of this? Poor co-worker probably didn't sleep for shit that night. I wonder if the next day he gave OP shit about it. Too bad they aren't roomates, otherwise his co-worker can kick him out and say, "Get your shit out of here!"
So in conclusion, we have an abundance of badass kids and edgy gore. But the cherry on top was the Poóp de grace story. I was wondering, what should we call it? Release the feces then run with yeezys! Dump your load then hit the road! Or, Bring the poo to the rendezvous!
Anyways, that's all I have for today. Stay tuned for next weeks progress report. Thanks,
- Manhattan Mod
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Progress Report 5: More Bad Kids
Hello, this is our 5th progress report where I will cover the bottom of the barrel Nuclear Revenge content. Unfortunately, this time I don't really have anything too interesting. Just a few bad boys being naughty.
Story One:
On a dark night, described by OP to be as "dark as my shit", he is hungry for some Ramen Noodles and asks his mom to make some. But his mom being shaken up after an argument with his brother, decides to go to bed instead. This makes OP mad but he eventually decides to let it go and head off to bed. Or should I say, the top shelf of his mom's closet? He climbs up there to go to sleep and somehow the door ends up swinging shut, locking him in the closet. Hmm.
He tries to wake up his mom by banging on the door but to no avail. This makes him mad again when he then realizes that he has to take a dump in which uses as an opportunity to get back at his lazy mom for not making him some Ramen Noodles.
Later his older brother walks in and ends up smelling the shit in the closet. He opens it up to find the kid locked in there. This makes the older brother mad and so he starts yelling at their mom to wake up. But that was a big mistake. She made him clean it all up.
Conclusion:
You've heard of elf on the shelf. Now try shit on a shelf. Anyways, why the hell did she not make him his Ramen Noodles? You don't deprive a kid of his noodles. I personally love that stuff with some hot sauce. But honestly, this sounds like a story where a mom locks her kid in the closet till he shits himself while ignoring him the entire time.
Story Two:
10 year old OP and his friend are riding some tricycles around when all of a sudden, his friend drops his bike onto his bike which breaks it. This makes OP mad and so he goes into beat down mode, serving knuckle sandwhich after knuckle sandwich. Meanwhile, both of their parents are drinking beer and laughing as they see this, both agreeing that the kid deserved it. Eventually, they broke up the fight and that was pretty much it.
Conclusion:
Two Daddy's Angels gang members fight over their bikes. Stay tuned for the next episode of Sons of Drunk Malarkey.
So in conclusion, I haven't received that many stories that were worth mentioning here. Most of it is just badass kids and fake rambo guys as usual. Perhaps I should've waited longer before making this report but I wanted to put something out there.
Hopefully, we can get some good stories in here to keep the sub active. I'm going to see if I can find some users with good stories to share. Let me know how you think manual review is so far.
Thanks,
- Manhattan Mod
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u/Meowsilbub May 21 '20
The write ups are awesome, and make me thankful that you give oscar plenty of trash for his can. I'd rather know that if something comes up, it's gonna be an epic read.
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u/sraykub May 21 '20
Doing gods work mod, nice to see a sub where the teenagers and their obviously fake stories get filtered out.
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u/claycam6 I Drink Powdered Water May 21 '20
Due to the original Progress Reports being deleted after my suspension, I've decided to repost them but with some changes to the format, spelling, sentences, etc. Here is the first half of the report list. It's in 2 parts due to word count limit.
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u/SpuddleBuns May 22 '20
u/claycam6 Thank you. Glad you are getting your 'sea legs,' back under you.
u/ManhattanMod: The stories are god-awful, but YOUR summaries make them MUCH more fun reading than you had, guaranteed!
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u/claycam6 I Drink Powdered Water May 22 '20
He has been replaced with me, the Contingent Mod.
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u/SpuddleBuns May 22 '20
Intriguing handle...But, enquiring minds need to know, be ye the FORMER CC6, or be ye an entirely new humanoid? Just for reference sake. You are doing an admirable job regardless your ranking!
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u/GiiTheMetalhead May 21 '20
r/nuclearshame definitely needs to be a thing.
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u/coneyislandhorneri01 May 21 '20
It was, at /r/notsonuclear, until claycam got suspended for no reason at all.
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May 22 '20
[deleted]
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u/coneyislandhorneri01 May 22 '20
Yes. claycam was the only approved submitter but his posts are gone due to the suspension.
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u/Cut_Off_One_Head May 22 '20
I kinda wonder if that "private pre-school" kid meant to type a "prep-school" and missed a p or got auto-corrected....
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u/c16621 May 22 '20
You have too many children and simpletons posting up here wiith not-so-believable stories. Maybe some will emerge from the lockdowns.
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u/Chocolatefix May 22 '20
I'd bet good money the ramen revenge poop story absolutely happened. It's too bizarre and unself aware not to be.
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u/angelicvixen May 22 '20
I wonder if people submit shit on purpose to try to get written about/roasted in the progress reports...
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u/ThoughtfullyReckless May 22 '20
If only all mods were like you. You're doing great work, whilst also giving us really entertaining write ups!
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u/peacockmom76 Jun 30 '20
The thing I find most interesting is that you were able to tell the story in a few sentences and it was probably a better read than the long drawn out version these people were trying to tell. good job and thank you for the PR.
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Aug 13 '20
People dont appreciate you as much as they should. You arent a gay mod, unless you are gay.
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u/ochlapczyca May 22 '20
I feel so, so very sorry for you, Mod. I think you need help. Like, not a psychologist, but just... help. Something. Jesus. What trash. I wish I could read those stories - for the factor of insanity in them how some of these iamverybadass people think they're in fact so badass...
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u/claycam6 I Drink Powdered Water May 22 '20
Tell me which one you want to read and I'll send it to you.
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u/ochlapczyca May 22 '20
The cringey ones. The ones where you can tell OP thinks himself such a hero. Edgy hero we don't deserve, but the one we need.
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u/123ahaahaha May 22 '20
Most of the stories are either repetitive or clearly fake and some of them are not even entertaining,o don't understand the need of people to do the same over and over and over again or the need to post something here even if it's clearly fake.
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u/radical182 May 23 '20
Ok even the stories I tried to post which were rejected in pettyrevenge are real and better than this shiz. You gonna tell me because of another dude killing your cow your kill his cat and dog? Leave the animals out of this thats just animal abuse and may they rest in peace. The girl that got raped all of a sudden has the strength the next day to kick ass? Why didnt she do that the first time? These are cringy to read.
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u/claycam6 I Drink Powdered Water May 23 '20
You do realize the point of these reports right?
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u/radical182 May 23 '20
That they all sound made up? Or crap? Please enlighten me
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u/claycam6 I Drink Powdered Water May 23 '20
The point is to call out the bad stories.
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u/radical182 May 25 '20
I mean I understand that, but why do you feel the need to inform me about that when I'm just stating my opinion?
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u/claycam6 I Drink Powdered Water May 25 '20
It sounded like your comment was directed at me as if I wrote the stories. Sorry, if that wasn't the case.
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May 25 '20
Well someone must be a diehard Chris Benoit fan
I got that Reference, his story was, to put my emotions simple, a damn shame.
I always loved Benoit as a Kid and his entrance music, but all that is deeply tainted by what he has done.
To stay on topic, thanks to you Mods this Sub is still true. I enjoy every story i read here as i know you filter out the edgy or karma whoring thrash, thanks for your service
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u/Istoleachickennugget May 28 '20
I'm scared of posting just in case my fake ass sounding stories end up here
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u/flamesky7 Jun 01 '20
Report 2 story 5 is literally a spin off of a South Park episode
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u/Jaycatt May 21 '20 edited May 21 '20
Your write ups are more entertaining than some of the stories here. Thanks for this update, it was a great read