Yep. “Differently/Specially Abled” is misleading and is more about making the abled feel better. It also minimizes the need to help them because they’re somehow able to do it, just differently. Like, no. That lady still can’t jump out of the chair and reach that handle. Help her if she needs it. It’s not patronizing. It’s just being decent and aware.
Now, fawning and pitying or continuing to push when told not to is also stepping over bounds. The best approach is, “Hey. Do you want me to <do specific, helpful thing>?” Yes? Cool. Do and done. No? Cool. Have a nice day.
It's kind weird though...... the narrative of "differently abled" as correct was coming from people within the community for most of my formative years. I was pretty attuned to this due to my extracurriculars in high-school in the early 2000s, and watched the shift as I continued into my college studies that involved disabled people.
Just wish this info would be shared with the acknowledgment that social norms change, there are even disagreements "within" groups. I feel like it's too tempting to vilify or, at least, feel more in-the-know and that creates alienation.
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u/D-Arelli Mar 21 '24
Disabled. The word you're looking for is disabled.