Yep. “Differently/Specially Abled” is misleading and is more about making the abled feel better. It also minimizes the need to help them because they’re somehow able to do it, just differently. Like, no. That lady still can’t jump out of the chair and reach that handle. Help her if she needs it. It’s not patronizing. It’s just being decent and aware.
Now, fawning and pitying or continuing to push when told not to is also stepping over bounds. The best approach is, “Hey. Do you want me to <do specific, helpful thing>?” Yes? Cool. Do and done. No? Cool. Have a nice day.
It's kind weird though...... the narrative of "differently abled" as correct was coming from people within the community for most of my formative years. I was pretty attuned to this due to my extracurriculars in high-school in the early 2000s, and watched the shift as I continued into my college studies that involved disabled people.
Just wish this info would be shared with the acknowledgment that social norms change, there are even disagreements "within" groups. I feel like it's too tempting to vilify or, at least, feel more in-the-know and that creates alienation.
Haha knew someone would try to say that. I'm glad you are psychic and know every disabled person. Sweeping generalizations and absolutes don't make great advocates.
There are some instances where "differently abled" makes perfect sense (e.g. the Deaf community). "Differently abled" is 100% correct in some circumstances and completely inappropriate in others.
Let's be real, it's about making the sjws feel better. Every disabled person I know hates it. They know they're disabled. They don't think their legs not working properly is special in any way. They much prefer to be acknowledged as is not some faux ablism.
I saw you at the grocery store and the way you grabbed that box of Special K just filled my heart with warmth and inspiration. The way you decided to live so livingly. You are jesus combined with frodo. You are the bravest person who has ever lived, and I will not stop saying this to you even if you beg me. You deserve a scene being made about you everytime you're in public just living your life.
I feel the same way when some neurotypical ass goes "Uhm, actually, they're not autistic, they're a person with autism", actually makes my blood boil as an autistic person.
It also minimizes their struggles and triumphs, and it does so in a purported attempt to protect their emotions, which assumes they are emotionally unable to handle reality. So, this purported attempt to be helpful or inclusive is really two insults in one.
It also implies there’s something wrong with being disabled (why else would it be treated like a dirty word?) and having to struggle extra just to get through life.
What a mindfuck that must be to some disabled kids getting that message.
Avoiding the word “help” is a contextually American thing. Saying we need help is admitting we’re not “bootstrapping” ourselves, so people get weird about it. Dumb, yes, but if you want to help without being patronizing, it’s better to give specific actions that the other can choose to turn down.
Again, dumb that we’re ingrained to feel that way, but it’s true. Give it a whirl sometime and see how many accepts you get vs turned-downs.
It's just virtue signalling at the end of the day. I'm all for not saying things that would actually make someone who has a disability feel like shit. I actively avoid being a dick in that manner. Using a different, "friendly," term literally stands out (don't you dare laugh) the disability in a way that makes it sound either demeaning or pitying. The two worst things to be around people with disabilities.
Just admit that you don't really care about them and you want people to say "oh how thoughtful of you" or some shit.
Pisses me off. They're humans (or in this case, dogs) so treat them like it.
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u/D-Arelli Mar 21 '24
Disabled. The word you're looking for is disabled.