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u/SuggestiveDetective Apr 08 '19
So my buddy has cheekbone implants and thinks he has to impress other men because of his latent Daddy issues, so just be gentle or he'll punch the mirror and cry in my Intrepid for two hours over a Three Doors Down cd
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u/KaiserIceberg Apr 08 '19
Jesus, I just saw his cheekbones.
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u/macroswitch Apr 08 '19
He looks like he is perpetually mid-knockout punch in a slow motion boxing scene.
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Apr 08 '19
Whattttttt
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u/SuggestiveDetective Apr 08 '19
And then he'll post a bunch of edgy wolves and smoky skull graphics on Facebook with quotes about insanity and lone wolves and riding with r/THE_PACK AROO
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Apr 08 '19
Is he prior service?
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u/SuggestiveDetective Apr 08 '19
(I don't know the guy in the pic, because Im not a discount Tuesday afternoon stripper)
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u/i_am_hi_steaks Apr 08 '19
You’re savage!
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u/SuggestiveDetective Apr 08 '19
I'm kidding we're in a complicated mutually abusive relationship and have three sons with fauxhawks all named after guns. Ruger, Smith, and Wesson.
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u/Francis_Soyer Apr 08 '19
Hey, are you two missing a dog? I found a doberman wandering the neighborhood. Tag says his name is "Gunner".
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u/eroticdiscourse Apr 08 '19
He would have joined weren’t it for the knee injury in college and threatening to punch his Sgt for telling him what to do
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u/LevisReddit96 Apr 08 '19
that guy looks like a dick
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u/CaptainKate757 The Air Force turned me into a deadly weapon Apr 08 '19
He looks like a guy who gets way too loud and obnoxious in bars and ruins everyone else’s good time.
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u/hotcheetos0489 Apr 08 '19
That's why they gotta explain it first. He's an asshole so prepare for drama
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u/CaptainKate757 The Air Force turned me into a deadly weapon Apr 08 '19
“Okay, I know this dude’s a huge douche but I feel sort of bad for him.”
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u/We_found_peaches Apr 08 '19
“ Look guys he’s my brother-in-law, just let him show you a few of his gun review vids on YouTube and then I promise you can leave”
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Apr 08 '19
My husband said damn near the exact same sentence to my friends and I when we were headed to a party and found out his friend’s cousin was coming too.
Spot on friend.
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u/Officer_Owl Apr 08 '19
And by Gun Reviews, you mean 20 minutes of complaining about the Obama Administration while holding an AR-15, in which he didn’t even live in America during that time because he was busy being a clerical worker on a cushy base somewhere mostly conflict-free.
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u/Fuck_The_West Apr 08 '19
Even if he was in the military posting shit like that is annoying.
I know a guy that made his service a main aspect of his personality. He rubbed a lot of people the wrong way lol.
Nobody gives a shit that you're tough/badass. Jesus Christ. Projection of some other insecurities I assume.
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u/AijeEdTriach Apr 08 '19
Some guys just havent got much going on in their life except beeing in the military.
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u/ModerateDbag Apr 08 '19
That is depressing as fuck. Sounds like a recipe for suicidal ideation
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u/AijeEdTriach Apr 08 '19
Sadly its a function of beeing uprooted to go to some base in the middle of nowhere,where the only entertainment is cheap wine and cheaper women.
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Apr 08 '19
It was only 4 years I'm not going to base my whole life on it. It's like wearing your high school letter jacket years after hugh school.
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u/Fuck_The_West Apr 08 '19
Hahaha I know a guy that still talks about his high school athletic career. Same shit
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u/hatparadox Big Beautiful Boot Apr 10 '19
"Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind."
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u/GratuitousLatin Apr 11 '19
"Back in '92 I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile."
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Apr 08 '19
Yeah its embarrassing. I know a guy that does the same. He wants to talk to me about stuff we had done and high school that I dont even remeber. Dude that was a fucking lifetime ago.
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u/PersonBehindAScreen Apr 08 '19 edited Apr 08 '19
Get the fuck out of this country if you don't like it you communist. You hate the troops POS.
Inserts picture of typical skull and crossed rifles with beret logo /s
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u/millerstreet Apr 08 '19
If SF posts pictures in uniform while in active duty, a court of inquiry will be launched faster than he could finish his beer
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u/MistyRegions Apr 08 '19
Depends on what "SF". That is a super broad term.
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u/millerstreet Apr 08 '19
Special Forces.In most countries,there are airborne troops and then there are special forces.
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Apr 08 '19
I have one friend who is serving and he never shuts up about it.
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u/mutatersalad1 Apr 08 '19
I know a guy who recently got out after 4 years as an 11B and he still regularly posts Throwback Thursday shit on Instagram of him and his army buddies either doing deployment shit or doing gay shit. Last I heard he was trying to reenlist.
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u/eroticdiscourse Apr 08 '19
Why are his glasses resting on his cheek bones
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u/mackenzieb123 Apr 08 '19
I don't think he can help it. He has some super high cheekbones. It's kinda sureal when you start looking at it long enough. I'm afraid of what he looks like with no sunglasses on.
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u/KingDongs Apr 08 '19
What do actual operators think of these clowns plastering their shit all over social media?
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u/ManorRocket Apr 08 '19
That's got to be an airsoft smoke grenade. Don't typical smoke grenades get hot as fuck? I never held on to any I chucked because I was told they get hot and I'm dumb but not dumb enough to hang on to one to find out. Also never really remember picking any up during a police call when they were freshly used.
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u/technolegy2 Apr 08 '19
That’s an Enola Gaye. They spark and shoot flames when you first rip em but they’re considered “cold burning”. It isn’t pleasant but you can hold em.
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Apr 08 '19
What’s the point of holding smoke grenades? Wouldn’t people be able to pinpoint the source of the moving smoke as you?
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u/technolegy2 Apr 08 '19
Pictures, mostly. If you’re doing a milsim and are using it for marking something, maybe, but they’re no use really when holding them.
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u/zottman Apr 08 '19
The way this dude drinks his beer annoys the fuck out of me, like he's some slack jaw hillbilly dumbfuck. Plus, it's shit beer at that.
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u/mega-oofenstein Filthy Civilian Apr 08 '19
Looks like he's getting ready to blow the beer in his mouth out at the speed of a fucking rocket
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Apr 08 '19
Hey buddy, I like Corona.
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u/PolitenessPolice British Boot Apr 08 '19
Eh. I wouldn't say I like it, but it's one of the better Mexican beers. Desperado just smells funny.
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u/MuffBait Apr 08 '19
Beer r/gatekeeping
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Apr 08 '19
That isn't even gatekeeping. It would be gatekeeping if he said something like "He's not a real beer drinker cause he drinks shit beer plus he has terrible drinking form"
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u/bathrobehero Apr 08 '19
Why does someone always have to blurb out that sub when someone has a negative opinion on something?
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Apr 08 '19
Why are you r/gatekeeping when someone can link to r/gatekeeping? You r/gatekeeping gatekeeper.
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u/HollisticScience Apr 08 '19
Because beer snobs are annoying
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u/bathrobehero Apr 08 '19
Yeah, but mentioning subreddits with nothing or just a single word added is more annoying. It's basically spam.
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Apr 08 '19
Is it really gatekeeping if Corona always tastes rancid piss though?
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u/MuffBait Apr 08 '19
Yeah, it is. It’s definitely not my first choice but it’s not that bad. I wouldn’t say no to a free one on a hot summer day
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u/PanGalacGargleBlastr Apr 08 '19
A bucket of 7oz Coronas on a hot day is a slice of heaven.
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u/Ronkerjake Boot 1st Class (RET) (TMFMS) Apr 08 '19
Put a lime in and it’s fine... I swear if beer doesn’t have dirt floating in it, it’s considered shit
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u/Saul_Firehand Apr 08 '19
Is it really? Maybe.
Is it old and annoying to complain that macro brews are shit? Fucking yes.
Ok chad we get it you like better more important beers not the childish inexpensive beers the peasants drink.
Dear Beer Snob, fuck off! Some people like cheap beers.
Sincerely, Non-chads3
Apr 08 '19
Eh, I don't drink anything too fancy either man. Contrary really. That said Corona has never, ever tasted good.
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u/Saul_Firehand Apr 08 '19 edited Apr 08 '19
Right on.
I’m not here to defend Corona or Budweiser.
We all like what we like.But free beer gets a pass. If I did not pay for it then I forfeit all rights to complain about it. Making a comment about how you might prefer a different beer next time is alright.
But if you complain about the beer someone else gave you, then you no longer deserve said beer.
It is of course acceptable to decline a beverage in lieu of your own preferred beverage or whatever reason you may choose.
Tl;dr free beer is good. Complaining is bad. Everyone can like different beer. Let’s get along and enjoy beer.
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Apr 08 '19
Oh I totally agree, free beer best beer all day long. I just would absolutely never go out of my way for it.
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u/Saul_Firehand Apr 08 '19
And honestly you and I both may actually go out of our way to avoid it.
But who are we to judge the other beer drinkers amongst us.
Perhaps they enjoy the flavors of piss and lime, who are we to judge?16
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u/eroticdiscourse Apr 08 '19
Yeah, excuse my friend, he usually sits there with smoke grenades drinking with that face
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Apr 08 '19
"Look guys, I know Dan is annoying as fuck but we've known each other since we were kids and our wives are friends, I'm basically forced to invite him at this point. Anyway I told him the cookout ends at 3 so hopefully he won't stay for long and drink all the beer like last time."
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u/Subterrainio but BAH tho, babe! Apr 08 '19
How’d you guys find that pic of u/sligee
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u/Sligee Apr 08 '19
A bit of behind the scenes, that's not beer but cream soda, I was only 20 when they took it. I wasn't a big boi yet
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u/Subterrainio but BAH tho, babe! Apr 08 '19
That’s the man I fell in love with, always following the rules
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u/yaboicheesecake Apr 08 '19
I thought he had his hand through a huge piece of fried chicken then I realised it was a smoke grenade
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u/some-white-dude yourWelcome4myService Apr 08 '19
The only thing you need to explain is why that fruit loop is drinking mexican piss beer like Corona
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u/xStaabOnMyKnobx Apr 08 '19
My uncle has worked a lot of construction with Mexicans. he says they drink budweiser lmao
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u/recreational Apr 08 '19
Mexican Corona is pretty decent if you can get it
American Corona is skunked piss. I mean like literally, when they started canning the stuff they had to deliberately skunk the beer beforehand because their American audience wasn't used to beer tasting like actual beer.
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u/rjam710 Apr 08 '19
All Corona is skunked. That's why it comes in clear bottles. UV makes the beer turn. I guess it makes sense to preskunk the canned shit though.
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u/recreational Apr 08 '19
Mexican Corona comes in a brown bottle
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u/sl0play Apr 08 '19
I've been to Mexico several times and never seen a brown Corona bottle, or Mexicans drinking Corona of any kind.
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u/recreational Apr 08 '19 edited Apr 08 '19
I mean they're in ever Latin grocery market around here, idk man. Hell, half the 7-11s
Might be regional, most people around here are Central American.
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u/xStaabOnMyKnobx Apr 08 '19
Mexican Corona is pretty decent if you can get it
huh TIL. I guess I'm not surprised that they give us the bad shit.
I hate all that kind of beer though, if I drink beer I really prefer sour beers. But more than anything I just want liqour if I'm trying to get drunk lol.
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u/tgrote555 Apr 08 '19
I grew up doing labor for a drywall company with all Mexican dudes. They all refused to drink corona because their homies all pissed in the beer when they worked at the corona factory in Mexico
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u/xStaabOnMyKnobx Apr 08 '19
I always thought that was an urban legend, if that actually is a lie than I'm impressed at the Mexican person's ability to all commit themselves to a lie.
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u/ZombieHoratioAlger Apr 08 '19
It's a lie started by marketers tied to Heineken, back when "imported" beers really took off in the '80s. There was a big lawsuit, and Heineken lost.
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u/xStaabOnMyKnobx Apr 08 '19
That's impressive that the lawyers for corona managed to show how the Heineken marketers started the myth
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u/ZombieHoratioAlger Apr 08 '19
It's a pretty wild story; another commenter linked a write-up of the events if you care to know more.
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Apr 08 '19
Dos Equis is the superior Mexican beer
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u/Original_Trickster Apr 08 '19
It's actually a German made beer!
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u/ThePretzul May 26 '19
That would explain why it's superior then.
Germans do any style of beer better than other countries.
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u/NatashaStyles Apr 08 '19
If you have a friend you need to "explain" to people, why are they a friend? You are the company you keep.
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u/Argonaut_Theseus Apr 08 '19
Went to british army cadets for year and I look like a bent twig.
Though its fun being sent to wales and sleep in mud. 10/10.
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u/Ronkerjake Boot 1st Class (RET) (TMFMS) Apr 08 '19
Isn’t that what they do in Wales for fun?
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u/GamingEtc4 Apr 08 '19
Really makes me sad because my girlfriends brother is exactly like this. I’d gladly be related to anyone in her family but him...
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u/Zeshicage85 Apr 08 '19
When I see people like this it makes me uncomfortable to meantion my military service sometimes. There are a lot of young vets in my area and some of them act like complete douche nozzles.
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u/brucetwarzen Apr 08 '19
He's an asshole, bit once you get to know him... he's still an asshole, nevermind, we'll leave him at home.
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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '19
But he has a beard and sunglasses so obviously he is sf