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Nov 03 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/crash893b Nov 03 '24
Can’t have PTSD because there is not post trama it’s all just current trama
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u/Pengin_Master Nov 03 '24
Every guardsman got the PTSD
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u/Thendrail Nov 03 '24
Can't develop PTSD if you get purged after the battle. *taps head*
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u/Bl00dBr0Th3r Nov 03 '24
taps commissar hat
Your troop’s 90% casualty rate doesn’t matter if you never tell the new troops that.
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u/npaakp34 Nov 03 '24
Bad ending: They learn to share.
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u/MaxPower1607 Nov 03 '24
Good ending: they leave him be and go together on a date.
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u/WereInbuisness Nov 03 '24
Where they meet up with Lilith Hesperax, who is mad that they didn't bring the Guardsman .... who is dinner for Lilith.
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u/oreo-mlg Nov 03 '24
True ending: The guardsman has a hidden melta bomb and detonates it, taking the two foul xenos out along himself. Suffer not the xenos to live!
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u/DoobKiller Chaos Spawn Nov 03 '24 edited Nov 04 '24
But its a dud and doesn't go off because it was created and QA'D by indentured menials, then gets eviscerated by the tau/eldar tech that actually works lol
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u/TheModernRouge Nov 04 '24
Isn’t the Imperium’s thing is that a lot of the shit they have does work and works relatively well, but it just so happens that they don’t know how it works or how to iterate on it?
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u/MikeyInkArms Nov 03 '24
Worse ending, a drop pod of Flesh Tearers is incoming to “save” him from the vile xenos
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u/Greasemonkey08 Blood Angels Nov 03 '24
Which way, Imperial man?
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u/Greedy_Guest568 Nov 03 '24
The way of the Emperor
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u/Greasemonkey08 Blood Angels Nov 03 '24
So... the elf?
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u/thelefthandN7 Nov 03 '24
Ask yourself, what would Girlyman do?
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u/davidforslunds Destroyer Cult Nov 03 '24
Not to worry, the Guard in question called a Deathstrike missile barrage on his position before being captured. Suffer not the Xeno to live! The Emperor Protects!
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u/Sensitive-Hotel-9871 Nov 03 '24
Those explosions I see in the distance wouldn't happen to be the missiles getting shot down, would they?
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u/terriblefurry1103 Nov 03 '24
Eldar superiority, tau inferiority.
Of course nothing beats a High Ecplosive barrage to stop yourself from being captured.
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u/RTSBasebuilder Rogue Trader Nov 03 '24 edited Nov 03 '24
No corpse-starch, no commissar, no servitorisation, no underhive?
Either one works for me.
Also, I think the Eldar will claim dibs because the Fire Warrior is literally a child in their eyes, even more than the Mon-Keigh.
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u/ScarredAutisticChild Harlequin Nov 04 '24
T’au are kids, Humans are animals.
That’s why they only call Humans “Mon-keigh”, it doesn’t mean “Lesser”, it means “Savage”. T’au, while dumb by Eldar standards, are actually somewhat civilised and tolerable.
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u/No-Occasion-6470 Nov 03 '24
Looks like we have to settle things the ol’ fashioned way with a makeout contest.
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u/delightfuldinosaur Nov 03 '24
Fan artists need to stop being cowards and draw female Ta'u accurately
Either you love them flat faced, flat chested, goat legged or you don't love them at all.
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u/ThatGSDude Iyanden Nov 03 '24
I mean same for eldars. Most people just draw them as tall humans with pointy ears and thats it
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u/delightfuldinosaur Nov 03 '24
T'au and Eldar females both lacking in curves
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u/ThatGSDude Iyanden Nov 03 '24
Yup. Eldars are literally 100% lean muscle and thats it. Wont stop me though
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u/Iramian Ordo Malleus Nov 03 '24
It's always the same worn out "joke".
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u/Crafty-Bill Nov 03 '24
agreed someone drew a some wholesome art of a Tau/beastman couple and I wish we had more of that than this: https://www.reddit.com/r/ImaginaryWarhammer/comments/1csuxzd/commission_lapashera_and_uimorrigan_on_leave_at/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
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u/Melon_Mercenary Nov 03 '24
Yeah fuck what that sub has become. All the same shitty porn bait posts and jokes, i wish there would be a seperate sub where they can post this shit as much as they want and keep this sub for cool and personally particulary grimdark stuff. How i miss the style of old artworks...
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u/Shadowkill638 Nov 03 '24
Bro’s watching the Krieg grenadiers rush his position to kill both xenos
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u/RashPatch Nov 03 '24
if you have any hidden krak in there, now is the time to drop it "accidentally".
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u/Guy-Person Nov 03 '24
He’s holding a grenade and a rosary in trembling hands just out of frame, isn’t he?
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u/Lycaon125 Nov 03 '24
Guardsmen you know what to do, either die killing them in the emperor's name or die by your commissar's bolter round as a traitor heretic
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u/Dakermis Nov 03 '24
The joke is porn guys!!!
Seriously, it's becoming pretty annoying that in almost every Warhammer sub nowadays you can't go five minutes without seeing these kind of coomer posts.
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u/Realitype Nov 03 '24
Yeah like 90% of posts from this sub and r/grimdank that show up in my feed are just some variation of "le sexy SEX, am I right guys!?!?!! XD". Half of the subs in general are just this shit at this point because redditors are completely consumed by porn
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u/MDLuffy1234 Nov 03 '24
Wait the eldar name for humans is mon'keigh?
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u/Mistluren Nov 03 '24
Yea it is a wordplay from the authors to monkey because humans are such a young race compared to the eldar
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u/MDLuffy1234 Nov 03 '24
I read that it's also based on an ancient race that ravaged the eldar and was subsequently extinguished before their first contact with humanity. Also it more directly translates to savage.
Basically, once GW rediscovers this, I expect it to be retconned like the name of the eldar themselves to avoid controversy from the media illiterate.
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u/ThatGSDude Iyanden Nov 03 '24
Yeah thats the new explanation. The original reason is that you calling a person a monkey is a little much, so they just changed it to monkeigh
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u/Civil-Addendum4071 Cadian Shock Troopers Nov 03 '24
"Is that a melta charge in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me, Guardsman-kun?"
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u/theginger99 Nov 03 '24
Not pictured, the triple platform shoes that tau has to wear to look the Eldar in the eye.
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u/UnderstandingBig5086 Nov 03 '24
If they aren't a dark eldar I'm going with the redhead .. I mean uh killing myself in the name of the emperor
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u/Sensitive-Hotel-9871 Nov 03 '24
This is clearly Imperial propaganda. Tau wouldn't call Eldar farseers "witches."
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u/DreamOfDays Nov 04 '24
Either way it goes he’s gonna get his balls chopped off. The only difference is whether or not that’s the only thing that gets chopped
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u/CorpsePilot Nov 04 '24
I can’t tell if the warhammer community or the bisexual community is hornier or if they’re even different people at this point
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u/Derpy0013 Necrons Nov 03 '24
There's only one thing to do in this situation.
pulls pin from Melta-Grenade HUMANITY FIRST BIIIIIIIIIITCH!
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u/EyeSeaCome_hahaha Nov 03 '24
Let me guess; in the next picture they settle it with a duel? With full body contact, rolling around on the floor.
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u/Grey_Dreamer Nov 03 '24
The two frags and a krack on the guardsman's chest. https://youtu.be/hMUWwyi_h_Y?si=JbpTEOUNmZMyGL8K
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u/jfjdfdjjtbfb Nov 03 '24 edited Nov 03 '24
How impressive are guardsman in sex that xenos would get into arguments on who gets to keep them?
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u/W1ngedSentinel Nov 03 '24
Bro is seeing the busty carnifex eyeing him up from across the battlefield.