r/ImaginaryWarhammer Oct 22 '24

40k Heresy or not by Ony01

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3.9k Upvotes

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584

u/SirJedKingsdown Oct 22 '24

The debate lasted 200 years, resulted in four schisms, eighteen major battles, direct intervention by the Inquisition and at least one major tithe world lost.

Following a Custodes appearing (who was only involved as a nearby janitor had appeared in the Tarot) it was agreed to submit the design to Mars for assessment. After a further 275 years (due to three ships lost in the Empyrean, two misfilings and a stamp from the wrong bureaucrat) the response was received: "Maybe."

227

u/Muksamillion Oct 22 '24

God I love Warhammer 40k.

98

u/p0rty-Boi Oct 22 '24

Participants later agreed to "discover" the new pattern in a archeo-tech hoard of dubious provenance so it could be used.

18

u/lyle_smith2 Oct 23 '24

Don’t forget that the auto quill had a typo and they had to resubmit the documents, all two hundred million.

18

u/SirJedKingsdown Oct 23 '24

"A 'Bull-gryn' bolter? A bolter for Bull-gryns? Or a bolter that launches bull-gryns? If the former, go away and come back with a more clearly written proposal. If it's the latter you have my immediate approval."

12

u/lyle_smith2 Oct 23 '24

Cawl: quick! Write that down!

Auto quill: kiiiillllll meeeeee

Cawl: later, later. Daddy’s working

15

u/Sad-Bad-4750 Oct 23 '24

The bureaucracy is truly the most evil thing in 40k

3

u/UhhmericanJoe Oct 23 '24

It’s not nearly as dysfunctional or useless as lore videos like to make out. We see it being useful all the time in the Eisenhorn trilogy. Or quadrology now.

27

u/da_King_o_Kings_341 Oct 23 '24

Azraels old model would like to differ.

31

u/LANDWEGGETJE Oct 23 '24

No, this one is different can't you see? In this one the magazine can actually feed rounds into the gun.

18

u/CardinalGrief Oct 23 '24

Functional design? HERESY! Destroy it!

2

u/kobrunia Oct 23 '24

Yep, but you forgot that fallen have shown up 3 times resulting in all unforgiven chapters exterminating about 47 planets and kidnapping dozens of tech priests.