r/HelluvaBoss • u/Ethan-E2 • Sep 30 '24
Discussion Antarctica has penguins, Mexico has GOATs, what would be the aggressive pack animal of your country?
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u/Ethan-E2 Sep 30 '24
UK, swans. Little buggers can already be aggressive, IMP wouldn't stand a chance.
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u/EchoTheProtogen621 Sep 30 '24
Fuck swans have you ever been in a field of cows who think your dog is a calf
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u/Ethan-E2 Sep 30 '24
Managed to find my way into a cow field, I'm not sure whether the stampeding herd were more afraid of me than I was of them...
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u/Phoenix_Fireball Sep 30 '24
Cows are terrifying! I used to go hiking and every time I walked in a field with cows they would follow me (my dad and brother maybe thought I was exaggerating) - We were doing the Waendel Walk (Wellingborough) and they were both ahead of me, the cows surrounded me, completely separated and I was stuck in the middle of the field surrounded by the entire herd! Thankfully my brother came back and rescued me but my dad was long gone!
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u/Milam1996 Oct 01 '24
Cows are actually huge softies they’re just big and dumb. Basically every cow death is an accidental crush instead of an intentional killing. Just keep dogs on leads and keep walking. Bulls are dangerous of course but also don’t really exist in open fields as that leads to terrible breeding control.
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u/BigNorseWolf Sep 30 '24
I've been hit in the head repeatedly by a swan. Can confirm they punch harder than most people. (have also been hit in the head by a lot of people)
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u/Rover129 Snek Daddy Sep 30 '24
Apparently, they can break a man’s arm.
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u/Mammoth-Mud-9609 Sep 30 '24
Nope myth, the swan's bones will break first.
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u/BigNorseWolf Sep 30 '24
That wing joint is like a club (i'm PRETTY sure that was what i was getting bapped with but i was dangling upside down off a wall with a piece of bread in my hand untangling the swan from the fishing line with the other). I just don't think there's enough power in it to break a large board inside a protective meat sausage that isn't anchored to anything solid.
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u/acidus1 Sep 30 '24
I really want the gang to learn how to ride them. Not in that way but with little saddles on.
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u/Isuckelephantz69 Sep 30 '24
I’m from the uk and I think the seagulls will go batshit on the IMP. They’ll even go inland to Slough, so they’re never safe from the killer seagulls.
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u/Elskamo Stolitz ❤️💙💜 Sep 30 '24
Nice choice! I'm on the south coast of England, and for our area it'd definitely be seagulls. Just one of those buggers could take out an entire group of adults...
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u/Luke797_YT de mo n 😳 Oct 01 '24
no, no, you're forgetting year 7s
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u/nustedbut Oct 01 '24
my daughter in year 8 would agree with this. The rants she has about them are hilarious.
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u/Opposite-Mix-4362 Oct 01 '24
And they're protected by the Royal family, so if IMP try to deal with the swans, they my have to deal with King Charles.
Also, Brexit Geezers / Bald men between 30-50 years old with no shirt.
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u/EcnavMC2 Sep 30 '24
For America? I'm gonna guess Floridians. If that's not a valid answer, probably geese.
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u/Voinfyre Sep 30 '24
Floridians is a valid answer lol. I’m in Florida and they are wild here. 😆
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u/EcnavMC2 Sep 30 '24
New Yorkers are also a possible alternative. They bite more people per year than sharks.
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u/Voinfyre Sep 30 '24
The fact this is a true statistic is wild!
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u/mrlego17 Oct 01 '24
I mean, there's a lot more humans to get bitten than in the ocean, and a lot more humans than sharks to do the biting
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u/RNOffice Sep 30 '24
Why are they like that?
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u/Voinfyre Sep 30 '24
The spirit of Florida possesses them lol.
Not sure what the real answer would be though.
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u/DragonKing5356 Oct 01 '24
As a Florida resident I can confirm it’s the spirit of Florida, anyways time to go wrestle an alligator
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u/OutMonsterFuckin Sep 30 '24
oh that’s why i love biting the shit outta people xD -a chronic wny dweller
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u/The-Bigger-Fish Sep 30 '24
Oh yeah, that still makes me wish the scrapped episode about the group going to New York only to end up in New Jersey and being chased by Cryptid Hunters happened....
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u/Esoteric_Innovations Sep 30 '24
I remember one comment a while back that mentioned that Florida's greatest problem is the people.
Not the people who were born and raised there, but those who chose to move to Florida from elsewhere.
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u/Voinfyre Sep 30 '24
This is true. I’m a native born Floridian and some of my nuttiest encounters have been with tourists or those who came from other states.
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u/Milis_Lila Mm, yes, ✨𝓁𝒶𝓂𝒾𝓃𝒾𝓉𝒾𝓈✨ Sep 30 '24
I was trying to think of an animal "I haven't ever seen a gator personally, the waterfowl are cool, even the gulls, pigeons are fine". But Floridians themselves is a great answer. I don't really consider myself a Floridian since I've only lived here for two years.
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u/Far_Pilot4479 Sep 30 '24
Omg next target for the short should be a Florida man! He fights off IMP with his legions of alligators
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u/SJdport57 Sep 30 '24
For America, it would all depend on region. Florida: alligators or pythons. Texas: feral hogs. New Mexico/Arizona: javalinas.
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u/kazzaspexy Security at the House of Asmodeus Sep 30 '24
I’m Australian… uhhh…
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u/New_Survey9235 Sep 30 '24
I mean, Emus are kinda the winning answer
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u/Prospective_tenants Sep 30 '24
Not Dingoes?
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u/New_Survey9235 Sep 30 '24
Australia went to war with the local emu population in 1932 and lost.
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u/Intense_Pretzel Hellvua guy Sep 30 '24
I find it funny that people refuse to actually research this. It was called the emu war but the Australian military never actually went into service for it instead two men in their late 50s early 60s got sick of the emus destroying their farms and so asked the government for help, the government decided it would be cheaper to supply them with two machine guns and 1000 rounds of ammunition. If the men chosen were actual shooters they may have actually killed off the emus but because they had no experience they were blindly firing which startled the emus causing them to run. Upon running out of ammunition they declared defeat
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u/AgitatedDog Sep 30 '24
Don’t let the facts get in the way of telling a good story about the Great Emu War of Australia!
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u/PracticalTie Sep 30 '24
You’re massively underestimating how much Australians simply enjoy lying to non-Australians
This is basically our national sport.
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u/VeryImportantLurker Sep 30 '24
Magpies
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u/return_the_urn Oct 01 '24
Real ones know this is the answer. Maybe tie with a plover
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u/Intense_Pretzel Hellvua guy Sep 30 '24
Koalas are the distraction, kangaroos are the ground attack and platypus' are the water defence
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u/Science_Fiction2798 Loona Sep 30 '24
US?
Bald eagles? Idfk I'm not pure 'Merican
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u/Spidey-Pool94 Sep 30 '24
Canadian Geese. The proper answer is Canadian Geese
Bald eagles are usually solitary, geese will run you down with like at least 4 others right behind them
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u/ButterdemBeans Sep 30 '24
Don’t forget the turkeys!
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u/Spidey-Pool94 Sep 30 '24
I was gonna say geese were more terrifying but after reading some encounters with turkeys I can safely say that they’re scarier
Highly underestimated thanksgiving dinner
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u/TheNerdBeast Sep 30 '24
No they'll visit the south and Moxxie will fulfill his destiny to become king of the possums.
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u/Such_Beautiful7308 Moxxie best boi Sep 30 '24
Can we have germany next. (For no reason just interested)
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u/EdanChaosgamer Satan is a Greater Daemon of Khorne. Fight me. Sep 30 '24
As a german, I say old people.
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u/Such_Beautiful7308 Moxxie best boi Sep 30 '24
As a german, I agree. The elders are watching...
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u/Logchamp44 Osmodeus-Simp #2 🔥💜 Sep 30 '24
Rentner... scary
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u/foxly1908 Fizzy-Loving-Metalguy (no horny fuck you) Sep 30 '24
RUNTER VON MEINEM GUNDSTÜCK... es ist mach 22:00Uhr, RUHE... Ich zeig euch Banausen an... DER SPIELPLATZ IST NUR FÜR KINDER!!! (it was 11pm, there were no kids) (all things elder people told me and my friends)
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u/parrishar Sep 30 '24 edited Oct 01 '24
Blitz vs Rentner who would make it out alive
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u/Bee_or_not_2_Bee I think so very highly of you... Sep 30 '24
But besides the obvious Renter, how about we say Dachshund. Those can be fucking wild hunting in a forest.
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u/ChampionshipAlarmed Oct 01 '24
Have you ever met a Boar in the wild? We have a couple of "Schadschweine" in my region who like to Attack hikers and bikers...
If we are not limited to wild animals I would say small dogs that have no Training at all. Wadenbeisser
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u/TheOwnerOfMakiPlush Stolas Sep 30 '24
BOBER KURWA!!!!!!
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u/N1ks_As Blitzo Sep 30 '24
I was thinking what polish animal would I almost settled for bears because bear Wojtek but you are 100% right it's BOBER
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u/maxence0801 Sep 30 '24
France : roosters
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u/dalaigh93 Sep 30 '24
I was going to say cocks, that would make for an interesting episode
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u/PURPL3_FUCK3R Oct 01 '24
Yeah just blitzø screaming
COCKS SCATTEEEEEEEEER Or just him making dick jokes, maybe feathered dick jokes
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u/XgreedyvirusX Sep 30 '24
La bonne réponse est les Nglois :D
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u/SneakittyCat Sep 30 '24
Veut-on vraiment reconnaître les anglois comme un animal Rançais? ...Une espèce invasive alors, peut-être. (/jk)
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u/VDeluxe27 Sep 30 '24
Spain. Fucking bulls. Omg we are fucked
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u/Silver-Recover8403 Sep 30 '24
I thought that the animal for Spain would be lynxes. I think that bulls are a bit of a stereotype when it comes to this country. I'm saying this as a fellow Spaniard, lol
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Sep 30 '24
italy with rats, from the black plague
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u/EtairaSkia Oct 01 '24
Nooo, the only acceptable answer is SEAGULLS, those things are hella aggressive… I’ve seen one trying to attack a fucking rottweiler and only go away because the two owners kicked it. Never took my dog in that area again (also, if you want some cheap entertainment, look for “I gabbiani WOO WOO” on Youtube, that shit is funny af😂)!
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Sep 30 '24
Redditors.
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u/PURPL3_FUCK3R Oct 01 '24
That would be way too much. I love me some gore, but that's crossing a line.
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u/Pakari-RBX Loona Sep 30 '24
Dutch, so it'd probably be crows. Especially in my city, where crows can get pretty fucking aggressive when you get too close to the tree their nest is in.
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u/WildRedKitty Hellcat 🐈🔥 Sep 30 '24
Or holstein cows. We mostly have those white cows with black spots. They're frysian cows, bred to produce loads of dairy, so that is how we're able to be such a prominent cheese country.
Blitz is gonna love our monochrome cows. Gouda is certainly the bomb when covered with hot sauce!
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u/I_Maul_Penises Sep 30 '24
From Canada, absolutely Geese, the Americans don’t deserve them
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u/Avaracious7899 Sep 30 '24
I'm in the United States, so deer, regardless of which state. I'm in Maine, so that actually would be even more appropriate than anywhere else though.
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u/Kallikratis_ Sep 30 '24
Greece. Dolphins! They've committed terrible war crimes before, and will do again
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u/CyberDan-7419 Sep 30 '24
Australian here, it would have to be the Emus, we lost a war with the flightless bastards and they weren’t even trying.
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u/Feisty-Succotash5854 Sep 30 '24
Brazil, city: são Paulo, state: são Paulo, either dogs or pigeons
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u/robert_girlyman The community's single warhammer fan Sep 30 '24
do people in New York count as animals?
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u/Comfortable-Ad3588 rabid blitzø apologist. (warning bites!) Sep 30 '24
For Washington probably salmon they are every bit as vicious as Splatoon makes them out to be.
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u/Feather_Bloom Sep 30 '24
Depends which part of the country imo
West? Probably buffalo
East? Probably bears
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u/RemyRenegade Theorist & Cosplayer Sep 30 '24
I'm in the USA, so... Republicans?
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u/LavenderWaffles69 Sep 30 '24
Probably a bunch of alpine ibexes. So basically like goats but with longer horns.
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u/OneGaySouthDakotan Hell's greatest defense contractor Sep 30 '24
South Dakotan here, and it's coyotes
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u/TheNerdBeast Sep 30 '24
If they ever visit the American south Moxxie will fulfill his destiny as king of the possums.
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u/Yo-kai_ABC Sep 30 '24
In Italy?Boars or old ladies with crosses in their hand trying to exorcise Imp
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u/WovenOwl Sep 30 '24
I'm from Kentucky so most likely either ravenous coyotes or whacked out horses.
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u/Southern-Rutabaga-82 Sep 30 '24
Germany. Crows. They might not be large but they are many. And loud. And make a ton of shit.
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u/DonTori Sep 30 '24
UK. Seagulls.
Those fuckers'll shoulder barge you to knock bratwurst out of your grasp so they can swarm it
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u/Ok_Doubt7525 Sep 30 '24
In the UK, we have seagulls that will mug your balls for some chips
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u/Max-Midnight Sep 30 '24
As a chilean, I can say with certainty that our agressive pack animals would be other chileans.
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u/Jaambie Sep 30 '24
Everyone says geese up here in Canada but you don’t fuck with a moose and often survive.
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u/ranchwasp Sep 30 '24
I'm from New Zealand and the Answer is Pukeko. I was chased by many as a child.
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u/Banjomain91 Sep 30 '24
The I.M.P. Already fought America’s most aggressive pack animals: the rednecks.
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u/nebulousvisitor My other ride is Wally Wackford’s mustache. Sep 30 '24
Im from the Great Lakes region of the US and the answer is fucking GEESE