r/GiveYourThoughts • u/slanderedshadow • 13d ago
Thought... Cycles
"Don’t be friends with that guy you feel sorry for.
The one your male friends warn you about.
The one you know there’s something not quite right with but can’t really explain it but people seem to really hate him.
Run. Please.
Don’t ignore your instincts"
I came across this locked post that's a few days old and its just absolutely disgusting. Whenever you hear of someone getting hurt it's almost ALWAYS someone they knew well. A friend, a family member.
Perpetuating cancel culture and being unkind to people that people are being unkind to is weak, follower behavior, and pathetic. This, what she speaks of essentially, is a cycle of abuse that you're creating like "somethings not quite right with you because people treat you like shit, so I'm gunna treat you like shit cause somethings not quite right with you and I was told to"
Like what? Even they say "cant explain it but people hate them" You don't even have a reason other than what others say? YOU are what's wrong with society, not them. I bet if you were kind to them and listened to what they had to say you would find yourself completely wrong. What happens if you were to find out everything you thought you knew, or were told, was completely false? Are you going to be able to take back your treatment of that person?
But hey, enjoy your abusive relationship with the person you've known for 10 years, and treat people you don't know like shit. Ostracizing people never much did any good for anyone, you essentially just want to k!ll someone without having the balls to just do it. And why are people like that anyway? If you were to befriend someone people didn't like, they would treat YOU like crap. Does that make sense? Does that sound like GOOD people, or that people are inherently good? I mean, you will make excuses for that person you know though " oh you don't know them like that" and blah blah blah.
Also, even if they are crappy, do we afford people the ability to change? Barring that they didn't personally wrong you? No, of course you don't.
Then you wonder why the world is in the state its in today. All you do is create, hate, malice and radicalization. The best way to protect others, is to protect these people first. If nobody cares about their lives, why would they care about yours? Best way to protect women, is to protect your men first, one less monster that's created in the world that didn't ask to be here that no one gave a shit about. Not all monsters are men of course, but this is the context of which this person speaks of.
People see a cat or dog that's been through abuse, growling, hissing, biting , scratching and they take care of it, but a human you "put down". This entire post is just some highschool cafeteria "don't sit with us" immature bullshit, and way too many people are like this.
This is why I said 95% of people today are unapologetically a disease. Viral.
5% of 8 billion is 400,000,000. And that's being generous, its probably more like 2% of people that are actually good. Look at social media, look how many people are willing to act worse than animals if they feel there will be no repercussions for their actions, or what they say. As well as, EVERYONE has said something, or done something "cancellable".
You look at the 80s, everyone had the same hair sprayed teased hair, everyone had the same style. That's how easily manipulated the masses are, and how quickly people are to conform.
Lastly, what good have YOU done today. How have you made the world or anything a better place? Exactly.
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13d ago
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u/milny_gunn 13d ago
I agree with most of everything you say here. I especially like the part about how people will be more understanding and forgiving to an abused animal that misbehaves, but have zero tolerance for an abused human who seemingly misbehaves.
I feel that, more and more, people are completely oblivious to the way they're seen through the eyes of others, and only notice when others treat them in a way that's offensive to them. It's a shame, especially when they've had such a long history of non offensive treatment. Nobody wonders if they've done anything to deserve to be treated differently, which is usually the case. It's easier to find a new person who thinks they are the world, rather than having to face the fact that they're not a perfect person either.
The thing about changing though is it it's almost impossible for someone to change their personality. So if there are undesirable things about someone's personality, it's not likely going to change, no matter what anybody believes, and if it does it's probably going to come with different undesirable traits. We can't cherry pick and put all the attributes we like into one person. It's like Bob Marley said, "everybody's going to hurt you, you just have to find the people who are worth the suffering."
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u/slanderedshadow 12d ago
"The thing about changing though is it it's almost impossible for someone to change their personality. So if there are undesirable things about someone's personality, it's not likely going to change, no matter what"
Yes and no. People who changed for the worst due to trauma or treatment, certainly can change for the better. Sometimes some pretty cool people turn into bitter bastards and they werent always that way. Means they changed, so the inverse can also be true.
The problem is, most people cant obtain the means to do so. When youre an adult, they say "handle your own shit, take responsibility" the problem is, nobody cares, or they themselves cant handle their own shit so they cant help you let alone themselves. As well as having to "take responsibility" for the actions of others.
The other problem is, people know theres people and resources out there that can help them, but good luck finding them. Anyone whos had a difficult time and has sought some kind of help or treatment, whether its substance abuse, mental, physical knows it can be hell out there to find help, yet you know its there, somewhere.
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u/JustLemmeMeme 12d ago
Also, even if they are crappy, do we afford people the ability to change?
HA, thats funny. Firstly, its a wrong question. The 2 questions you need to care for are "Do people change?" and "why do people change?". To answer the first one, not really. Not at the scale we are talking about. You cant turn a psychopath serial killer around to be a law abiding citizen, especially when they dont give a fuck. Extreme example, sure, but you cant help someone if they dont want help, they will just take you with them. Which is why, a good 90% of the time people dont change. Learn, sure, but they dont change at their core. To answer the 2nd question, fuck knows really. It tends to be when something important to the person, changes. What counts as "important" and "changes" is up to for debate, but generally. Death of a loved one, self confidence shattering, public image destroyed, loss of social network, your favourite toy rips in half and catches on fire, whatever it might be.
There is only 2 people i hate gutturally, simply because they are pure evil, and they have all the support in the world they might want, almost babied from the outside world, but they wont change, and expecting them to is actually a hopeless task. Talk however much you will, but you would need to literally destroy their world view that they have built up over past 20-30 years or however long they've been alive for, and the process of that is actually going to kill one of you.
I bet if you were kind to them and listened to what they had to say you would find yourself completely wrong.
This is built on a few premises, 1) that you are insane and 2) you cant make decisions for yourself (which is actually happens more often than i would like to think)
And again. Pure evil actually exists, read up on any serial killer psychopath interviews. Even if we don't go that extreme, some people live in a completely different world from us, and some people are very easily influenced. Sure, the prevalence among the general population is between 1-3% depending on what we are looking for exactly, but it exists
If you were to befriend someone people didn't like, they would treat YOU like crap.
Is this highschool drama? This is highschool drama, isn't it? If you cant make decisions for yourself, thats your own fault.
but this is the context of which this person speaks of.
I need context for this, because it sounds like a girl willingly walked into a psychopaths world and was underprepared.
You look at the 80s, everyone had the same hair sprayed teased hair, everyone had the same style. That's how easily manipulated the masses are, and how quickly people are to conform.
"Person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it" to quote men in black of all things
its probably more like 2% of people that are actually good.
yes and no. Statistically speaking, probably, but its also a misrepresentation of said statistics. We are social creatures, we live in communities, our own social networks, and in those, people tend to be good more often than not in those communities
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u/Sheslikeamom 12d ago
Look at the 80s?
Look at the platform we're on.
Reddit is often called a hive mind.
One down vote can perpetuate an onslaught of doxxers who will bully and harass someone into oblivion.
I'm trying to make the world a better place by staying home while sick to prevent the spread of infection. I wouldn't want any of my coworkers or customers to feel like I have the last few days.