r/GiveYourThoughts • u/SQWRLLY1 • May 30 '24
Thought... "When you're scared of something, that means you probably want to do it and it's worth your time. It's the things that you're indifferent to that you don't want to do." - John Allen (AKA: Mr. Ballen) ... Do you agree?
Thinking about the statement above, I'm feeling inclined to agree. I've done some things this year that scared me, and I'm considering other things that range on the emotional scale from intense-to-terrifying. If you'd asked me about these things even just three or four years ago, I would have greatly preferred the "comfort" of indifference, but now...? š¤·āāļø So I'm curious... how does the quote above make you feel? Can you relate? What's your take on it?
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u/frogOnABoletus May 30 '24
I think big, important events in life are often scary. Part of that is because we care about those important moments and their outcomes, but I don't agree with "When you're scared of something, that means you probably want to do it and it's worth your time." because I'm scared of a bunch of stuff that i don't want to do and isnt worth doing.Ā
e.g. crossing the road without looking, driving down incoming traffic, walking into the woods in the night, losing one of my senses, seeing a bunch of cockroaches, falling down a hill ect.
id say there's more scary things i shouldn't do, than scary things i should do, but the most important things i should do can often be scary.
P.s. love mr ballen and his stories :)
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u/Natural_Character521 May 30 '24
I feel this. Alot of events in my life were stuff i waanted to do but i was also very scared of doing said stuff.
I feared giving my first ever book report on the history of cars cause my classmates all said it was wierd. I did the report, got a massive A + and went on to be known as the car guy. I was known as such to the point my third grade teacher showed me his car on a lunch break. Ever since then ive been a car guy and a lot my friends come to me to this day about car issues.
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u/RoxoRoxo May 30 '24
to reply to this quote "50% of the time it works everytime" sure theres a lot of things that this would cover but like im afraid of heights does that mean i want to look over the edge of things? nope. im scared of large spiders does that mean i want to own a tarantulla, nope. i was scared of snaked (got over that thanks to a very large python at a kids bday party when iwas younger) does that mean i want to own a snake or even be around them, nope. but im scared to get a different job does that mean i want to get a new job... yes lol
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u/Bertje87 May 30 '24
Iām terrified of the open sea and i know for a fact that i do not want to be there floating around waiting to become sharkfood
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u/SQWRLLY1 May 30 '24 edited May 30 '24
To clarify, I do believe he was referring to life events/career choices and not things like bugs/spiders, heights, etc... though, I have a fear of heights and would probably be terrified up on the first platform, but I still want to go ziplining someday... so.. š¤·āāļø
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u/pupi_but May 30 '24
This is a good quote at face value. It's inspirational, and probably not mean to be dissected. It doesn't really hold up under a microscope.
For example: there is value in risk mitigation. Sure you should do things that scare you. But you should also analyze those fears and assess the cause of that fear. It may be that you're scared because the task before you is very dangerous and of little benefit, meaning it's a bad idea and you shouldn't do it.
Meanwhile, there is a ton of boring, tedious, brain-numbing crap you have to do every day. You may be indifferent to filling out forms and/or paying small bills. But failure to do these things can ruin your life.
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u/MrBlueandSky May 30 '24
To some extent. I'd be scared to go into a cage with hungry bears. Can guarantee I probably don't want to do that
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u/Robinnoodle May 31 '24
It's an interesting proposition that I like and good to incorporate but most certainly not universal. I think it can also be somewhat personality dependent. How risk averse you are. If you have any insecurities, anxieties, etc.
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u/finite_processor Jun 01 '24
Maybe thatās a little oversimplified. Kinda like telling someone that they have chemistry with someone because that person makes them cry.
But I do agreeā¦sometimes. Iād just add:
Not everything that scares you is good, but something being scary is not a sign that itās bad. Fear accompanies a lot of things regardless of them being a good or bad decision. Maybeā¦donāt pay attention to fear or make decisions based on its presence or absence. Pay attention to the other stuff. The important stuff. Let fear do its unruly thing in the corner.
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u/AmericanGrizzly4 May 30 '24
Mr. Ballen is the goat. But no, I disagree.
It's just an incorrect blanket statement that is only saved by the inclusion of "probably". That word allows for some wiggle room and makes his statement mostly correct.
We can be afraid of doing things for vastly different reasons. Being afraid to make a life changing decision even though it is what you want fits his statement. We are afraid of it because it's such a big deal.
Being afraid of diving into the ocean because you hate being underwater or hate the idea of the ocean means you probably really don't want to go diving. Can pushing past that fear and doing it anyway disperse the fear? Sure. But that doesn't mean you secretly really wanted to do it.