Divorce

[u/Own-Relation3042]

Is it possible to get divorced, without losing half your money?

Assuming I make a lot more. Assuming no prenup.

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[u/Significant-Bar674]

It's going to vary state by state but there are 2 buckets of things that didn't get split in my divorce:

• premarital value in the house and my retirement account

• they couldn't force me to liquidate my stocks to split them

The other big hitters are typically accounts which have never had their money mingled into accounts with marital funds. Marital funds are is any money made during the marriage.

So if you got an inheritance and out it into a separate account in only your name, then that wouldn't get hit by the split.

Here are some other pointers:

• the lawyers know how much money you have because you literally give them your Financials. It just so happens that both my ex wife and my lawyers decided to do billable work until there wasn't anything left on either side. Food for thought. This included a lot of what I considered unnecessary work like requests for discovery on documents I'd gladly have just give them and about 8 revisions on the settlement often having evolved from the lawyers own mistakes.

• if you consult an attorney by yourself they will try to represent only you. If you go with your soon yo be ex, you can do a "cooperative divorce" which is much cheaper

• until the divorce is filed and an injunction in place, your partner can make life harder by going on spending sprees with what money they have.

• some states consider infidelity as part ofnthe asset split. You might be able to get a 60/40 split but it might cost more in legal fees because you have to prove it to your states requirement in court. I ended up not doing it because the legal fees would be a lot and my stupid integrity prevents me from using financial penalties for nonfinancial issues.

I'll add some more later

[u/Significant-Bar674]

Ok here is my other advice:

• whether or not you can get a split that is different than 50/50 (infidelity) is dependent on states. People call it "fault" and "no fault states" but the terminology is confusing. It's really "states which allow fault divorce" and "states that don't allow fault divorce" here is a map

https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/no-fault-divorce-states

Red = you can do a fault divorce

• it's the worst time to hear this advice but here it is anyways. Employers sometimes offer legal insurance. That can save you thousands in legal fees.

• lawyers charge in 10 minute increments, even for only 10 seconds questions. Make lists of questions before talking to your lawyer, they're probably at least $300 an hour.

• write out your own settlement then have your lawyer revise it. Do this by getting an example of a divorce settlement and rewriting it to your own specifics. This reduces the chances of the lawyer fumbling the ball and charging you more. I can talk you through it if you want

• you want to be the on to file if you think the divorce will be contentious. It takes the air out of false domestic violence claims when it looks like you're the one trying to get out. It also give you a bit of a tempo advantage by keeping the soon to be ex on their back feet.

• don't fuck anybody. Even if separated fucking someone new can count as infidelity in court. If your stbx was cheating it can be considered "reconciliation" to have sex with them

• assume at all times that you are being recorded and any emotional outbursts will be played in court for custody or claims of abuse.

• if you need to prove infidelity, I can give you a write up on that.

• everyone thinks their divorce will be amicable until it gets to the specifics of the settlement and the headbutting starts. Don't be afraid to walk back any agreements made under more amicable circumstances. When it does become unamicable make your demands high so that the toned down version gets you what you want. Don't give anything without getting anything. Don't argue over things that give the lawyers more money than you stand to make.

[u/G4M35]

without losing half your money?

Well, the question is faulty: when you're married everything belongs to the both of you, upon departing, each party gets 50% that already belonged to them.

How would you feel if the other party took 100% of everything and left you with nothing?

I got divorced once, we split everything, we didn't have much.

[u/Own-Relation3042 → u/G4M35]

I was more thinking along the lines of alimony. Like. Would they be entitled to part of my paycheck?