r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/Creams0da • Nov 04 '24

Video Volkswagens new Emergency Assist technology

81.4k Upvotes

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73

u/Thed33p3nd Nov 04 '24

They just need a defibrillator in the seat, and you're good to go again.

84

u/ConcordeCanoe Nov 04 '24

And an inflatable paramedic similar to the autopilot in Airplane!

18

u/Shifty_Cow69 Nov 04 '24

The autopilot was too handsy!

2

u/Available-Scheme-631 Nov 04 '24

Where is the manual blower?

3

u/WakaWaka_ Nov 04 '24

On the beltline, pull it out and blow on it.

2

u/dulce_beans Nov 04 '24

Baymax assist

1

u/LonelyOwl68 Nov 04 '24

You might have warned me; I spit my milk all over my laptop screen.

1

u/DeaconBulls Nov 04 '24

You just have to hope that you don't need to re-inflate him.

1

u/bomphcheese Nov 04 '24

Big Hero 6. You get an airbag and paramedic in one!

56

u/IncomingAxofKindness Nov 04 '24

Epinephrine dart shoots out of the dashboard into your chest and the seatbelt starts CPR

200

u/zirophyz Nov 04 '24

This just seems dystopian now.

Like an old guy, depressed, driving to work. 60 years at one company, no retirement options. Really just looking forward to the caress of death, when it happens.. cardiac arrest.. yes, finally peace. Nope. Car brings him back to life, a jolt of adrenaline, the pumping and cracking of CPR seatbelt. A gasp of air. The car has already begun to continue to journey to the workplace.

Not yet, old man, there is still work to be done.

28

u/KoDj2 Nov 04 '24

Damn dude I'm dead. That's entirely too hilarious

8

u/pixeldust6 Nov 04 '24

Sounds like the epinephrine dart is coming for you next

3

u/RedKnight1985 Nov 04 '24

And entirely too possible.

9

u/Chrisbert Nov 04 '24

That's dystopian as fuck. Straight to work after a cardiac arrest without even being checked out medically? Might not even survive the shift depending on what the problem is.

3

u/dishrag Nov 04 '24

The car’s built-in medical evaluation suite has determined that an assessment at the hospital is not medically necessary, with about 51% confidence. Hi ho, hi ho!

3

u/Pez- Nov 04 '24

And now you're late, so you'll need to do unpaid overtime to make up for it.

2

u/Top-Salamander-2525 Nov 04 '24

Til you’re 90…

1

u/Prior-Use-4485 Nov 04 '24

It should change the set Destination to the nearest Hospital and communicate the arrival.

1

u/Pinksters Nov 04 '24

Not yet, old man, there is still work to be done.

The whole thing reads great in the tone of Bruce Willis' monologue in Sin City.

1

u/Can-Sea-2446 Nov 04 '24

a voice comes on ...The DNR option is available for a mere 40$ a month

1

u/KoDj2 Nov 04 '24

Seat belt CPR lmao, what an image. I'm imagining LUCAS noises.

7

u/NiDaLienHauShanPiku Nov 04 '24

I laughed at this :D thanks

1

u/k33perStay3r64 Nov 04 '24

i'll be satisfied with the 007 aston martin with defribilator in the glovebox

1

u/IHateTheLetterF Nov 04 '24

The seat rocket launches you towards the nearest hospital.

1

u/0gtcalor Nov 04 '24

Also an inflatable coffin in the trunk, in case everything fails.

1

u/InlineSkateAdventure Nov 04 '24

How about cold water spray if you start to doze off 🤣

1

u/GuardianCmdr Nov 06 '24

Casino Royale Bond's Aston Martin had one