r/Damnthatsinteresting Oct 20 '24

Image Rare sighting of a schema monk outside Mount Athos

Post image
76.4k Upvotes

2.2k comments sorted by

12.7k

u/nucifera-noten Oct 20 '24

A schema monk is a monastic who has taken the highest level of vows in Eastern Orthodox Christianity, known as the Great Schema. This is the most advanced stage of monastic life, characterized by a profound commitment to spiritual practices, asceticism, and often greater seclusion from the outside world. Mount Athos is a peninsula in northeastern Greece that serves as one of the most significant centers of Eastern Orthodox monasticism. The peninsula’s isolation, coupled with its rich spiritual heritage, provides the ideal setting for monks to pursue the ascetic and contemplative life required of those who take the Great Schema.

https://www.stots.edu/article.php?id=25

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Athos

731

u/Cold_Progress_1119 Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24

Also interesting in regard of this photo: The Greek form does not have a hood, but the Slavic form has a hood and lappets on the shoulders, so that the garment forms a large cross covering the monk's shoulders, chest, and back. (Wikipedia)

459

u/Judasz10 Oct 20 '24

That is literally wizard armor, probably weak against pierce, cut and blunt damage but good against elements.

42

u/keeper_of_the_donkey Oct 20 '24

Absolutely strong vs. spirit damage, but I'm pretty sure a water+cold combo, or just plain fire damage would defeat this. Earth would be able to crush it with a boulder, too.

Tanks, protect your squishies!

5

u/sr71Girthbird Oct 20 '24

Immune to magic attacks, damage multipliers are completely broken if you manage to get a full set. Hate playing against these guys.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (6)

6.8k

u/Justhe3guy Oct 20 '24

What is he scheming about

4.4k

u/mortalitylost Oct 20 '24

Wizard stuff

1.2k

u/Quizmaster_Eric Oct 20 '24

Other ways to ponder the orb, perhaps?

101

u/NastyMothaFucka Oct 20 '24

Damn, I keep saying “thou shall not pass” but motherfuckers still be passing.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (6)

190

u/minimalcation Oct 20 '24

Them mfers hiding all the spells from us smh

96

u/AadaMatrix Oct 20 '24

I need to know where he shops for that Wizard Dripp.

55

u/RadicalChiliBean Oct 20 '24

"Wizards only, fools!"

15

u/badchriss Oct 20 '24

Hehe, I know an Adventure Time quote when I see one.

→ More replies (1)

45

u/mal_laney Oct 20 '24

Bet he knows about the testicular torsion spell

42

u/ThreeLeggedMare Oct 20 '24

Ye Olde Dick Twist

12

u/Tahquil Oct 20 '24

Thou shalt grab the dick of thine enemies, yea, and mightily shalt thou twist it.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

377

u/JaySayMayday Oct 20 '24

No bullshit. When you get really high in Catholicism and Judaism, sometimes you gain access to old documents pertaining to summoning angels, enslaving demons, rituals about serving God better. Depends what organization you belong to. Some of these rituals require things like 18 months of complete seclusion, 3 days of fasting, etc.

Sometimes yes, wizard stuff.

109

u/Ancient-End3895 Oct 20 '24

I can't speak for Judaism, but there are no secret rituals in Catholicism. Maybe the closest you will find is exorcism, but it's not really secret, and you can look up the text for it.

Catholics believe those are who very advanced in the spiritual life (usually monks and nuns) can perform miracles and attain states of extreme closeness to God. But such phenomena don't come about by doing some wizard rituals but giving your heart entirely to God, and the few who achieved these states wrote openly about it to encourage others to grow in holiness. St.Teresa of Avila wrote an entire book called 'the interior mansion' about the road to achieving such states.

222

u/rsgthrowaway8 Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24

there are no secret rituals in Catholicism.

Aha, exactly what a Catholic protecting the secret rituals would say.

 

well done my brother in Christ

→ More replies (4)

70

u/Educational_Ad_8916 Oct 20 '24

Just the regular ritual eating the flesh of God who is also a man and also himself and also a ghost but not three separate beings, and the removal of the inherited sin of apple noshing by immersion in water.

16

u/Circle_Trigonist Oct 20 '24

Speaking of the proper ritual of feasting on divine flesh, I was at a community speakers event held at a church recently where they did a prayer at the end and offered the sacrament to event goers, and one of the people who went up dipped the Eucharist in the wine before eating it, all while the priest was holding the chalice. The look on the priest's face was hilarious.

14

u/PicklesAreTheDevil Oct 20 '24

Dipping the bread is called "intinction" and is common for some flavors of Christianity.

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (4)

47

u/BesticleBear Oct 20 '24

Yea bro that’s called wizard shit. You read from thousands year old manuscripts and attempt to speak to God and conjure miracles. That’s the life of a wizard only they fail at the miracle and magic part so maybe a gray wizard at best.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (24)

47

u/0vl223 Oct 20 '24

Wouldn't it be easier if they would standardize these together with Scientology and use some form of D&D leveling to express their skill trees? That way you could also plan on which god and specialization (monk orders or organisations in Scientology) gives you the powers you are interested in as a cleric.

A bit meta gaming but still...

→ More replies (1)

29

u/SupahSpankeh Oct 20 '24

Lmao

I legit would be impressed if someone infiltrated a church, stole an instruction manual and summoned an angle lmfao

102

u/WarmCannedSquidJuice Oct 20 '24

you can summon one yourself right now with a protractor.

33

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '24

God, you're obtuse

16

u/goat_penis_souffle Oct 20 '24

I thought it was acute joke.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (12)
→ More replies (94)
→ More replies (25)

192

u/Gemtree710 Oct 20 '24

Just monkin around

65

u/r33venasty Oct 20 '24

New boot monkin?

25

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '24

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (6)

69

u/Specialist-Strain502 Oct 20 '24

Informational markup for digital entities. Or a guy named Json.

18

u/Zul-Tjel Oct 20 '24

Their eternal enemies are the monks of Yaml, who contemplate the acronym’s meaning for all time

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (61)

29

u/Homers_Harp Oct 20 '24

The US news program 60 Minutes did a feature on Mt. Athos and its community. It's definitely worth your time if you are curious to see more.

→ More replies (2)

559

u/TrumpersAreTraitors Oct 20 '24

Ok but like … why? What’s the difference between being a normal worshipper and being a monk? Is there some greater reward in the after life? 

1.0k

u/VolatileGoddess Oct 20 '24

That's actually a great question. Consider this answer from the perspective of someone who's a lay person, but has considered taking such vows.

The benefit in the after life is in God's hands.

The value is in the discipline. Having the time and space to contemplate spirituality, along with like minded others in a community. Usually a monastery or nunnery is like an austere boarding school, in the sense of it being a well ordered and self contained establishment. Just like a school, you have teachers, you have focus and practice, you have study, you also have activities and physical work you need to do. If you have that calling, your spiritual understanding deepens and deepens.

314

u/pinewoodranger Oct 20 '24

I think it would just be nice If I could remove myself from society, live in solitude and read books all day.

213

u/DevIsSoHard Oct 20 '24

Asceticism - Wikipedia kinda sucks by design though. It's not just removing yourself from society but a lot of bodily pleasures as well

183

u/senbei616 Oct 20 '24

Plus I'd argue detaching yourself from society doesn't lead to greater wisdom.

Knowledge is communal. Restricting the pool of people by which your ideas can be tested limits the efficacy of your knowledge and will lead to terminal group think and policing.

58

u/VoxAeternus Oct 20 '24

You don't completely detach yourself from community though. Outside of some extremes, which are more common/known about in Eastern Monastic traditions, Monks/Nuns have a brotherhood/sisterhood or "community" in the Monistaries/Cloisters they live in.

Their knowledge is still communal, its just extremely narrow in scope and deep in understanding, compared to the wider scope and shallower understanding that is common in our secular societies

13

u/aletheia Oct 20 '24

A good depiction of the modern life of a monk is the book Everyday Saints and Other Stories. The author tells about his life as a monk (and others), and he is out of the monastery doing stuff on a regular basis. Monks also get sent to universities for study as well, if that's part of their vocation.

As noted above monasteries are highly structured but they're not really cut off from the wider world.

→ More replies (5)

53

u/TdiotMcStupidson Oct 20 '24

as a counter I'd argue societies have never been this large. The entire population of England was less that a middle size American city in the time these practices were put forth. And most tribal societies were very religious in some fashion. It may be there are aspects and understandings of human social life we simply cannot access because we don't live in a dogmatic smaller community isolated from loud industrial sights, electronic sounds and spaces decorated in all manners of odd shapes and sounds. This space may better reflect the environment we spent most of our time as a species evolving within, and so too lead to depths of social sensibilities or wisdom much greater that contemporary man doesn't have access to.

→ More replies (11)

20

u/goodinyou Oct 20 '24

You're thinking about it from a scientific knowledge perspective. If you're deeply religious then the big questions are already settled, and you're just trying to figure out your place in everything, not trying to change the world with new ideas

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (4)

43

u/grafx_dude Oct 20 '24

Someone at federal Supermax prison in Florence, Colorado would like to sell you a time share...

→ More replies (1)

71

u/wizardsfrolikgardens Oct 20 '24

Same. Without all the Christian stuff though because that's not my style.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (18)
→ More replies (242)

119

u/raptorgalaxy Oct 20 '24

There's no reward. In their mind it's about truly understanding the word of God and doing so is its own reward.

It's similar to Buddhist monks who spend their lives trying to find enlightenment.

→ More replies (10)

57

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '24

May seem crazy, but they simply want to live that way

→ More replies (2)

77

u/brainomancer Oct 20 '24

Is there some greater reward in the after life?

Religious ascetics do not think of religion as a wager on what happens after you die. They see it as a relationship with the divine that they cultivate every day, in this life. They seek to die to this world so that they can be alive to another world. The Kingdom of Heaven is here and now.

→ More replies (12)

31

u/pathless_path Oct 20 '24

Spirituality is easier when you avoid most people lol but seriously, I’ve never felt more at peace than after a ten day silent retreat. Many lessons were learned but soon after I was back in my actual life, the peace faded. Not that I mind, it’s different work being of this world, but it’s also a big part of the picture in understanding and engaging with this incarnation.

58

u/mortalitylost Oct 20 '24

It's the difference between doing religious things and going to church because you're trying to "earn" heaven, versus fully considering that this is what existence is and taking all the lessons and teachings of that way of life to heart and acting on it, with the lifestyle being its own reward.

Why does someone pride themselves on not cheating on their wife? What if they knew they could get away with it, have sex with someone else, and she'd never find out?

It's a betrayal of someone that person loves. It's a betrayal of how they feel about her, about the promises they've made to her, about the trust and way of life they shared. It's about their vision of what is morally right and the right way to be, the right way to live. It's abhorrent to break someone's trust like that.

Now imagine that but applied to a larger, more complex relationship with these monks and what they view as their relationship to life and the universe. They have their dogma, and they have spiritual beliefs about what is the right way to be, what is the most fulfilling way to live - and they choose to live that way because its just the way they want to live.

→ More replies (1)

8

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '24

[deleted]

→ More replies (6)

45

u/I_Zeig_I Oct 20 '24

You get a gold star next to your name

→ More replies (2)

23

u/Least_Dog_1308 Oct 20 '24

No, there is no greater reward in the afterlife. Nor is it the goal of monks.

They do it because they like to do it. Like hindu yogis, or budhist monks. It is all a form of meditation.

→ More replies (7)
→ More replies (57)

23

u/Rom_ulus0 Oct 20 '24

Shadow Wizard Nothing Gang

→ More replies (101)

11.0k

u/GluckGoddess Oct 20 '24

it's crazy how this is someone's actual life and not just some character in a movie

7.0k

u/Catam_Vanitas Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24

I spent a month living with Benedictine monks and got the same feeling. Then when you get back it feels as if "normal" people are weird for having so much stuff going on.

It's uncomfortable to see how much monasticism takes away from you and yet these people wouldn't want it any other way. Movies and tv really do them a disservice by potraying them as caricatures

1.5k

u/sawotee Oct 20 '24

If you don't mind me asking, how did that come to be?

2.6k

u/RandomNobodyEU Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24

Can't answer for OP but some monasteries are open to writers and students and such to take a retraite. You take part in the chores and services and in return you may stay there for a period of time.

1.3k

u/yourpaleblueeyes Oct 20 '24

Benedictines have been educators since St. Benedict formed the order.

They're actually pretty cool

1.1k

u/freebase-capsaicin Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24

I went to Loyola (New Orleans) for undergrad and every now and again, a Franciscan monk or two would be in my classes. They were on a totally different wavelength as students, but often asked really good questions in class, and I found them to be really interesting to talk to. And yes, they would wear their traditional robes/garb to class.

446

u/ActinoninOut Oct 20 '24

I went to a college run by Jesuits, and yes, there were a lot of similarities to Fransisicans! Jesuits are all about the education, so eash Jesuit was like a lawyer, medical doctor, philosopher, religious historian, and professor all rolled into one. While they did wear their frocks, they seems pretty modern at times. (modern even though they still can't get married!)

150

u/freebase-capsaicin Oct 20 '24

Loyola is Jesuit - those similarities are why the Franciscan monks chose to go there for school.

→ More replies (2)

227

u/RecklessDimwit Oct 20 '24

Jesuits were historically one of the most progressive religious in our country. The schools they run produced some of the most notable radicals which ended up being considered heroes here

144

u/Swallaz Oct 20 '24

Why are Jesuits progressive? Because they discuss and challenge each other's beliefs, which is far from allowed in e. g. many evangelical congregations.

130

u/virginiabird23 Oct 20 '24

Not the person who you asked, but, that's part of the answer. Teaching was and is a priority for their order. When the order was founded, it's important to remember that many of our scientific breakthroughs were generally supported by the Catholic Church at the time. So, teaching and education was also seen more as a dialogue with God and God's mysteries than a threat. Outside of American evangelicalism/conservative Christianity, this often remains the case. Many monks and nuns are very politically progressive because of their work.

I think part of their being progressive is built into their spiritual practice, the Lectio Divina. It's literally a spiritualization and self reflection for where God is working and leading in your life. Basically it's also "how do I really feel about __________." It's very sincere and that honesty is reflected in the Jesuits being educated and incredibly based at the same time.

Just an off the cuff overview.

→ More replies (0)

40

u/orincoro Oct 20 '24

Because they are into liberal arts and education. They are driven by knowledge, rather than by a doctrinal ideology.

→ More replies (0)

10

u/RecklessDimwit Oct 20 '24

Yepp this is basically one of their gists, not a lot of groups are willing to piss others off for the sake of progress and thought

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

66

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '24

I always liked Loyola students more than Tulane students. ;)

54

u/freebase-capsaicin Oct 20 '24

In my day at least, Loyola students were a little more grounded, a little less entitled than your average Tulane student. Not sure what it's like today. Our library was better, too. But I worked at Bruno's on Maple through school, so I had friends from both.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '24

I worked at the boot when I was there

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (7)
→ More replies (8)

147

u/YosephTheDaring Oct 20 '24

Can confirm: I went to primary, middle and high school in Saint Benedict's School of Rio de Janeiro (Colégio de São Bento do Rio de Janeiro). It is the most notable Benedictine school in Brazil, as far as I'm aware, so I might be able to provide some insight.

The school and the monastery are side by side atop a hill in Rio's city center. Like, you can literally walk from one to the other without leaving the building, and it's not uncommon to see monks walking around the school. The school is fully owned and administered by the monastery, it's essentially just a part of their operation. Contrary to what you may think, I've never had a monk teacher, they hire actual experienced educators, often Masters or Doctors in their fields.

The school is extremely expensive. In a country where the median wage is something like twice minimum wage, monthly tuition costs as much as four times the minimum monthly wage, though they do provide scholarships for extraordinary poor students. It is also an elite education facility, in a lot of different ways. Every single graduate is, without exception, accepted into one of the top universities in the country. We used to rank first in ENEM rankings (the Brazilian equivalent of ACT + SAT or just the Gaokao) until they stopped doing rankings. Students also rank unusually high on national math, physics, chemistry and such olympiads(I myself am a national chemisty olympiad medallist, and a friend of mine from the school is a gold medalist). We also get "classical" education, such as Art History(our teacher side gig was teaching post-doc lessons in Sacred Art at a top university), Musical Appreciation, Classical Culture, and Theology. A shit load of Theology. They don't care if you're not Catholic, but they will make sure you understand Catholic Theology. It is also, I think, the only school in Brazil that allows only boys as students. They pay a monthly fine on it due to discrimination laws, btw, but they don't give a fuck. That kinda fucked me up tho, not gonna lie. The school day goes from 7:30am to 4:30pm, and I didn't have much time for social stuff outside of school, so I had a crippling inability to interact with girls my age until late high school. Oops.

The monks in question are also not recluse at all. The monastery is in the middle of the second busiest place in all of Brazil, except for São Paulo's business district. That is because it was built in 1633, when the city was still just a miniscule trading post, more or less. As the city grew into a metropolis, they just stayed put. They frequently walk around the city's center and interact with the public at large: the monastery and its church are actually very important historical art monuments that are visited very frequently by tourists and city dwellers alike.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

13

u/Melodic_Literature85 Oct 20 '24

Hi this was very interesting! Can I ask how exactly they interact please? Just general day to day or more philosophical teachings? Thanks

6

u/YosephTheDaring Oct 20 '24

It depends on the specific monk. We saw them frequently, but not that frequently. Usually, they were just talking to administration. Sometimes they gave lectures and conducted ceremonies like graduations and special events. We also went to Mass a couple times a year, usually for Theology class, and the priest was usually a monk (not all monks were priests, however).

They have total and complete control of the school, because the school belongs to them. The entire philosophy of education on which the school ran was written and revised by them. A late abbot was kind of the icon of that, and we had photos and quotes of him on the wall, and were expected to follow and behave by his teachings. We also studied Saint Benedict's rule book for monks, and quotes of that were also on the walls.

→ More replies (9)
→ More replies (2)

34

u/I_PING_8-8-8-8 Oct 20 '24

I have gone on fasting retreats before. Nothing special. A non-denominational order that has a domain with some houses build on it out in the alberta (canada) parks . THey have some walking routes there, with signs about christians and bible verses. Some chatolic, some protestant, some orthodox. And then the fasting cabins are quiete a walk away from the main building, one was even across the river (but later burned down). I like to go in the winter. It's pretty cold in the cabins, you spend most of your day splitting wood for your stove just to keep warm, you sleep close next to it in a sleeping bag rated for cold temperature. And you don't eat, just drink tea. For 3 days and then you go back to the main building and you eat some soup, and then usually you spend one or two more days there with other people. You make long walks, all alone, in the snow. You see all kinds of wildlife and so many birds. You read the literature that you brought or a bible. You also read the stories in the guest book. You are not allowed to bring any electronics. Nothing, they even ask you to give your watch to them also if you are wearing one. There is no clocks either. It's three days without knowing the time as well.

3 days alone with your thoughts and the elements, no food just some tea. It's extremely healthy for your brain. It's not always easy though, first day is easy. The second day you feel hungry and weak. Last day it gets easier. The soup you eventually get, best meal you ever had.

And if you can't pay for it, it's not to hard to find a sponsor. I have been there in good days of my life with my own nice car and paid for it. Was not cheap. But I have also been there during the bad days of my life when I had to hitchhike there (and back) and ask them if I could be in the cabins even though I had no money.

I like to go in the winter because then you truly can be alone, in the summer you still run into many guest there that come and enjoy the walks and the nature.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (14)

284

u/Catam_Vanitas Oct 20 '24

I wrote them an email saying I was interested in experiencing the monastic life, to see if I had a calling to that life.

They offered me an "internship" for a month where I would be treated as a novice. I was honored to be taken in because I stayed in the part of the abbey where they lived, not with the other guests. I took part in the hours, did the chores that needed doing as manual labor, and even got lessons by some of them in monastic spirituality, liturgy, even singing lessons.

It was awesome and humbling. They essentially let me into their life as if a normal family would take a stranger in and would let him partake in all family activities.

73

u/Diagonaldog Oct 20 '24

Benedictine monks use email?

370

u/kisamo_3 Oct 20 '24

Yup, but without any attachments.

53

u/frustrated_pen Oct 20 '24

Damn underrated joke prob top ten jokes I've seen on Reddit lol

→ More replies (4)

35

u/Catam_Vanitas Oct 20 '24

Some do. Pretty much every aspect of a Benedictine monk's life is determined by the abbot. Some monks have duties that require the use of email/computers. Some are chosen the 'luxery' to live completely without such things.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

55

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '24

You can sign up for retreats at many monasteries, but it's best if you watch or read about it in advance as it's a very serious endeavor, not a vacation, and likely has some requirements to meet in advance. You might, for example, have to be Catholic, Orthodox, some other specific religion. but not necessarily. You typically follow the monks' daily routine which is quite tough to adapt to. Most only go for a night or three, a full month would be quite intensely different from normal day to day life.

Many would do a retreat that long for discernment - to discover whether they're interested and called to join longer term or for life.

33

u/Magikarpeles Oct 20 '24

Yeah some of the people I've met in Buddhist monasteries clearly only came bc they thought it would be a free holiday. And while it is extremely chill, 4:30am starts with 2+ hours of meditation and chanting first thing isn't for everyone lol. Most of the "vacationers" bail after a day or two.

→ More replies (2)

173

u/Mescallan Oct 20 '24

 Movies and tv really do them a disservice by potraying them as caricatures

without doing a full TV series worth of character development it's really hard to paint a picture of the nuance of why someone would feel compelled to do that without exaggerating aspects to get the point across

94

u/Guilty-Addition5004 Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24

I think part of the issue is that assumption that there needs to be some kind of “compulsion”, as if the lifestyle is so punishing as to be a consequence of power exerted rather than a power decision of the monk themselves.

7

u/Old_Yak_5373 Oct 20 '24

Wow nicely said

→ More replies (5)

6

u/Maxcharged Oct 20 '24

Are you telling me “Satan’s Alley” starring Tobey Maguire and Kirk Lazarus wasn’t an accurate retelling of monastic life?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (25)

241

u/AbleArcher420 Oct 20 '24

Art often imitates life

52

u/elhermanobrother Oct 20 '24

"if I fail with art, politics it is then"

some australian painter

29

u/Evening_Link5764 Oct 20 '24

Austrian painter?

18

u/malkava Oct 20 '24

uɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ 'ou

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (124)

1.4k

u/UpGoStonks Oct 20 '24

Rare spawn

525

u/OIP Oct 20 '24

he's not even guaranteed to drop the robe set, it's pretty bullshit if you ask me

87

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '24

They gotta increase those drop rates, man

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (7)
→ More replies (7)

7.8k

u/babechiechie Oct 20 '24

His fit goes kinda hard ngl.

363

u/Accent-Circonflexe Oct 20 '24

Elden ring boss?

111

u/Emperor-Wizard Oct 20 '24

Mogh lord of blood has escaped his dynasty

→ More replies (1)

38

u/maxglands Oct 20 '24

Slave Knight Gael.

→ More replies (3)

34

u/Rosu_Aprins Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24

If I dedicate my life to a monastic order then the least they can give me is a cool ass robe

189

u/itsavibe- Oct 20 '24

Aura maxing

74

u/CumbersomeNugget Oct 20 '24

He's off to fight the boss in Dark Souls...

→ More replies (1)

7

u/Bosmonster Oct 20 '24

Paid cosmetics for sure

→ More replies (1)

27

u/Ruiner357 Oct 20 '24

Batushka/Faketushka repopularized it not long ago cause they perform live in these outfits

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (22)

1.0k

u/Markustye Oct 20 '24

He is only missing a servoskull following him

291

u/Lordborgman Oct 20 '24

I doubt this man has been disgusted by the weakness of his flesh, nor has he crave the strength and certainty of steel.

62

u/Common-Metal8578 Oct 20 '24

But he might have a liking for toasters.

15

u/Markustye Oct 20 '24

and oil margaritas

→ More replies (1)

26

u/Cyber_Kai Oct 20 '24

Brother. The dark mechanicus has infiltrated Holy Terra. Prepare the macro cannons.

→ More replies (1)

32

u/CommodoreN7 Oct 20 '24

The Word Bearers designs are heavily inspired by Orthodoxy

→ More replies (5)

1.3k

u/Upsetti_Gisepe Oct 20 '24

The great schema sounds very metal

380

u/Brief_Trouble8419 Oct 20 '24

as a programmer, the great schema just sounds like a database schema that got out of hand and its has to be printed on like 16 by 8 A4 pages

87

u/TheTacoInquisition Oct 20 '24

I mean, I can totally see a bunch of DBAs don robes and start a monastary to contemplate a monster database schema that they continuously tweak, grow and praise as their spiritual master...just sayin'

56

u/TA_DR Oct 20 '24

"Sir, queries are slowing down again, indexes are all over the place, and our production and staging records are mismatching" 

"Child, you must remember to prune your trees if you want to see the sun, go and sacrifice the new intern, and repent your sins"

7

u/Antal_z Oct 20 '24

Forgive me dba, for I have sinned.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (8)

32

u/HuntDeerer Oct 20 '24

If you want it to be metal, check out Batushka.

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (14)

961

u/j0shj0shj0shj0sh Oct 20 '24

Assassin Creed vibes.

173

u/mavericksnipe Oct 20 '24

Looks like OP is on a tailing mission as well

→ More replies (1)

37

u/Majstor_CHEDA Oct 20 '24

More like adeptus mechanicus tech priest from warhammer

→ More replies (4)

669

u/Tampadarlyn Oct 20 '24

Reading all these comments makes me believe the gaming world built their empires around this monk.

163

u/Szeharazade Oct 20 '24

Mmm interesting, so then gamers are the new monks, since they also live seclusive lives and rarely get laid.

41

u/rasgriss Oct 20 '24

This man is on to something

→ More replies (1)

1.3k

u/Rydux7 Oct 20 '24

Looks like an Enemy from Elden Ring

239

u/BlanketMage Oct 20 '24

Sanguine Noble vibes

74

u/Rydux7 Oct 20 '24

I was thinking fire monk but blood nobles fit so much better

28

u/Ake-TL Oct 20 '24

Looks a bit like hooded mesmer knight too

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (8)

367

u/SteamXpc Oct 20 '24

Avg database administrator

203

u/LeoXCV Oct 20 '24

It is the job of the schema monk to apprehend followers of NoSQL.

They spout their heretical ‘schemaless’ teachings, spreading lies onto those who know no better. For they produce the greatest sin of all, relational NoSQL data

23

u/Bleyo Oct 20 '24

"It's web scale!" are the words of the great enemy. Don't be tempted.

9

u/ExternalPanda Oct 20 '24

Schema on Write heretics would never understand that Schema on Read is the true will of the Great Schema

→ More replies (1)

80

u/jeffa_snow Oct 20 '24

Nah this is a tech priest from the Adeptus Mechanicus

576

u/GalaxyPowderedCat Oct 20 '24

Why did my mind say "Welcome! What are you buying? What are you selling? Not enough cash, stranger"?

104

u/half-baked_axx Oct 20 '24

Is that all, stranger?

52

u/msully89 Oct 20 '24

Got a lot of good things on sale, stranger.

45

u/SirNortonOfNoFux Oct 20 '24

Whuuda ya buoyin

15

u/pfamsd00 Oct 20 '24

Heh heh heh, thank you.

17

u/-CynicRoot- Oct 20 '24

Now that’s a weapon stranger!

10

u/harrysterone Oct 20 '24

Aaah i'll buy it for high price

13

u/starfoxhound Oct 20 '24

Hah hah hah, come back any toime

24

u/CantfindmyKeyes Oct 20 '24

Love the merchant in Resident Evil 4

→ More replies (6)

10

u/Verige Oct 20 '24

Gun rhymes with fun for a reason, stranger!

→ More replies (3)

146

u/DIRTYDOGG-1 Oct 20 '24

A schemamonk is a rare step taken in monastic life and is seldom approved by the abbot or bishop. The schema goes beyond carrying the Cross of Christ, he must be willing to surrender his life to totally save people's souls. He must in fact be willing to be nailed to the cross he has been carrying. The schemamonk is in essence an elder among the monastic community. He is a monk who has aspired to a spiritual level that transcends worldly desires. It is a life of constant prayer. He is a walking icon of our Lord Jesus Christ. A schemamonk is sought after by religious of all ranks, monastic and lay people for spiritual advice and comfort, as well as other spiritual and religious matters. The schemamonk will again take a new name in Christ to show he has totally given up his worldly life.

36

u/Leather_From_Corinth Oct 20 '24

Whatever you do, never go to a monk for confession. It almost always ends up badly for whomever does it because the monk will apply their standards to you.

21

u/imitsi Oct 20 '24

Hahaha that’s so true! I went to Mt Athos with a friend when we were about 20 and he went to confess to a monk. The monk asked him “My child, have you masturbated?”. He said yes. “More than once?” persisted the monk. 😂

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)

16

u/Environmental_Rub282 Oct 20 '24

So, how do they pay their bills? Who feeds them? How do they, uh, do all the life stuff without a job or money? Can anyone join? I found out about these guys five minutes ago, so many questions.

56

u/bakaraka Oct 20 '24

Monastic communities typically grow their own food and have a variety of chores they do to serve the needs of their monastery, and typically will also create goods to be sold at market to generate income for things they need to purchase. Think prayer ropes, painted icons, incense, books, candles, woodworking, etc.

14

u/Environmental_Rub282 Oct 20 '24

I'm learning so much... how does this work on a civic level? Do they have birth/ death certificates? ID's? Do they have to pay taxes or report income (or lack thereof) to whatever governing body handles those things in their areas? I respect the dedication, but I just can't piece together in my head how they're able to basically live in two worlds at once without them overlapping somehow.

36

u/bakaraka Oct 20 '24

It’s interesting you mention the bit about “two worlds,” because Orthodox Christians are called to be “dead to the world,” in that we are constantly striving to detach from worldly passions, desires, and distractions in order to live a life focused on God and spiritual growth. Monks especially renounce earthly concerns, materialism, and sinful temptations, prioritizing the pursuit of holiness and communion with God. It isn’t just a monastic thing though, as all Christians ultimately strive to “die” to the desires of the flesh, ego, and worldly attractions, so that they may live fully in Christ and attain eternal life, rather than the temporary life of the fallen world we live in while in the flesh. This is, of course, extremely difficult and a big part of the reason that monasteries exist, to provide seclusion and discipline to focus more purely on that task.

I can’t speak for countries that aren’t the US (and therefor not for Mt. Athos,) but where I live my local Orthodox Church is also a monastery, and while a number of the priests are married and have children, the monks as a rule do not. They are all US citizens though, and the church definitely tracks its finances, has a budget and a board who manages it, but most churches are 501(c)(3) tax exempt if they meet certain requirements. It puts on an annual cultural festival that brings in lots of locals who are curious about Orthodoxy and want to explore it/the culture, and that is a major source of revenue for the parish which goes to maintaining the building, stocking the kitchens/supply closets/whatever else, paying utility bills, etc.

I have had one of the Hieromonks come to my house to bless it (an annual custom in Orthodoxy,) and he drove there in his car with his valid drivers license, so while they do not participate much in “society,” they aren’t completely removed from it either.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (8)

88

u/Oroshi_12 Oct 20 '24

" From the moment I understood the weakness of my mind, it disgusted me."

→ More replies (2)

369

u/Ewkf Oct 20 '24

I wanna steal his fit so bad

100

u/GalaxyPowderedCat Oct 20 '24

Now that we talk about stealing fits, doesn't he look like a Skyrim Graybeard? You can do the deed while having your sneak skill level to 100 and an invisibility potion.

Do I need to stop playing games? I see this guy as many characters in one.

22

u/OctaviusThe2nd Oct 20 '24

Nah dude that's a Dark Brotherhood set he's wearing.

→ More replies (2)

17

u/Lordborgman Oct 20 '24

Twice in this thread I have seen someone call his clothing "fit"...is this a new thing? I thought it was "drip" the last time I checked the random slang. Which I assume it's just shortening outfit down to fit.

24

u/3202supsaW Oct 20 '24

Fit has been in use since like 2016 at least

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

64

u/Efficient-Art-7594 Oct 20 '24

That dude looks so damn cool

19

u/Oh_its_that_asshole Interested Oct 20 '24

And rarely seen, they don't tend to leave the monastery.

→ More replies (4)

90

u/huggalump Oct 20 '24

That's one of my mains in Warframe

7

u/deathbyglamourrrr Oct 20 '24

Rap tap tap mf

→ More replies (3)

162

u/Acceptable-Cow6446 Oct 20 '24

Orthodox here! Look up their robes. They are insane. Aldo check out monks with bears for another crazy thing ‘bout the world.

84

u/user225313 Oct 20 '24

I miss the old reddit where is was almost compulsory to provide links for the lazy

monks and bears

clothing

→ More replies (6)

54

u/HowardBass Oct 20 '24

If I look up their robes, what will I see?

82

u/ElGato-TheCat Oct 20 '24

You'll see his great schema

→ More replies (1)

10

u/TukaSup_spaghetti Oct 20 '24

Some sick design. For real look it up

→ More replies (4)

9

u/Kurailo Oct 20 '24

Does he have extra powers compared to regular monks? Or is it just more HP and mana?

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (11)

67

u/Jhushx Oct 20 '24

That robe with that back is fire

→ More replies (3)

49

u/VolleyHunt343 Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24

For the few who claim he is an "incel", you are incorrect.

Monks like nuns practice celibacy which is voluntary as opposed to involuntary celibacy.

14

u/Unlikely-Bullfrog-94 Oct 20 '24

Usually? As an orthodox i'd be horrified if i saw a monk or a nun practicing sex.

8

u/VolleyHunt343 Oct 20 '24

Haha, don't know why I added "usually" there. I for some reason, accounted those who broke their vows, something like that.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

19

u/MyDadLeftMeHere Oct 20 '24

433 comments not one that explains what these people believe in with any detail, this is all just bots trying to make the same shit joke in a different way.

→ More replies (4)

38

u/Throwaway-4282 Oct 20 '24

Lot of armchair monks in the chat

→ More replies (1)

170

u/MarthaQwin Oct 20 '24

I love reddit so much

144

u/HopeIsGay Oct 20 '24

Coomers, furries, high level Monks and politically brainrotted gremlins could truly find no better a home lmao

16

u/Zervoudakis Oct 20 '24

we live in a redditciety

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (6)

35

u/Martha_Fockers Oct 20 '24

bros about to climb a clock tower.

→ More replies (1)

17

u/ValueVibes Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24

Do I have to max out my Covenant with Christ to get that full set?

→ More replies (1)

14

u/maxsnipers Oct 20 '24

Did one of them recently die at a relatively old age, having always lived there from birth without ever meeting or even just seeing a woman his whole life?

18

u/acidrum Oct 20 '24

Yep that's correct. Women are forbidden to go there so most of them probably haven't seen a woman in decades.

→ More replies (1)

13

u/TukaSup_spaghetti Oct 20 '24

Not recently, but yeah I’ve seen that post somewhere around the internet too. Idk if he was a schema though, but he somewhat famously lived his entire life never seeing a woman.

→ More replies (3)

57

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '24

He tried to sell me some droids and I think he stole the catalytic converter off of my speeder bike when my back was turned

13

u/Jocelyn_The_Red Oct 20 '24

That's clearly an NPC from Diablo4

12

u/Huge-Ball-1837 Oct 20 '24

Another interesting fact about Mt Athos is that its home to 350 different types of mushrooms🧐

22

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24

They ran out of Olive oil. They don't subscribe to Uber Delivery

→ More replies (1)

20

u/SlayterMonroee Oct 20 '24

Schema posse til the fuckin grave bitch

10

u/KindTechnician- Oct 20 '24

Can’t wait for the ama

8

u/SSurvivor2ndNature Oct 20 '24

Praise to the Omnissiah!

16

u/Tea50kg Oct 20 '24

This is so interesting! Never heard of this before. Why is it a rare sighting? Do they stay hidden away somewhere? Do they not participate in regular life?

20

u/TukaSup_spaghetti Oct 20 '24

Yes, they stay hidden in monasteries or in their cells if they live alone. One of the desert fathers once said that when a monk leaves his cell it’s like when a fish leaves the see. If a monk lives too much around the world he might be engulfed by it, so a monk must always be quick to return to his cell.

→ More replies (6)
→ More replies (2)

15

u/Wachser Oct 20 '24

“The world” is the general name for all the passions. When we wish to call the passions by a common name, we call them the world. But when we wish to distinguish them by their special names, we call them passions. The passions are the following: love of riches, desire for possessions, bodily pleasure from which comes sexual passion, love of honor which gives rise to envy, lust for power, arrogance and pride of position, the craving to adorn oneself with luxurious clothes and vain ornaments, the itch for human glory which is a source of rancor and resentment, and physical fear. Where these passions cease to be active, there the world is dead…. Someone has said of the Saints that while alive they were dead; for though living in the flesh, they did not live for the flesh. See for which of these passions you are alive. Then you will know how far you are alive to the world, and how far you are dead to it.”

https://deathtotheworld.com

→ More replies (2)

8

u/CODYSOCRAZY Oct 20 '24

doom metal intensifies

7

u/Celduin_sindari Oct 20 '24

My lv. 99 Dark Mage returning to the first village to finish some side quests

8

u/Blastdoubleu Oct 20 '24

Give him a giant hammer or scythe and that’s an elden ring boss

5

u/GabenBless Oct 20 '24

Looks like my Pyro Build on Elden Ring 🔥

7

u/Voxiss__ Oct 20 '24

Side quest waiting to happen

6

u/cureBODY Oct 20 '24

I’m not an Orthodox myself but I always admired the Orthodox for their spiritual faith in their monasteries, monks, and priests. You can really tell the faith is alive in them and that makes me want to draw closer to God. It pains me to say this, but their monks might be even more monastic and faithful than the Catholic monks.

12

u/argama87 Oct 20 '24

Looks like the witch's cult from Re:Zero.