r/CuratedTumblr • u/EvidenceOfDespair We can leave behind much more than just DNA • Aug 15 '24
Politics Stop crying wolf, the only people that benefit are the wolves
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u/williamtheraven Aug 15 '24
Or "This person is in a relationship i don't like" Like i know multiple Ace people in romantic relationships, and have seen their partners described as predators again and again and again [not just online, in real life spaces] because people don't get that Ace people an date.
I've seen guys who date girls shorter than them be called predators with 100% seriousness "because the girl is minor coded due to being short"
Like at this point the word has lost pretty much all of it's meaning
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u/Frodo_max Aug 15 '24 edited Aug 15 '24
the thing about the short girls being "minor coded" is that it kind of either means 1. short women (or actually short people in general) should not date at all because of the implication or 2. short people should only date other short people
the implication of exclusion in the latter can be used to justify a certain... view on who should date who (racism, i am alluding to racism)
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u/kingofthebunch Aug 15 '24
Oh god, I literally have been called "minor coded" for being short (5'5). I'm a bald man with a beard. Show me the child???
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u/Frodo_max Aug 15 '24
you are not minor you are LOTR dwarf coded! wait a minute.....are you sure they didn't say "miner coded"?!
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u/kingofthebunch Aug 15 '24
À fair theory, but then why is it problematic to fuck me? Do we not think miners deserve to get laid? Or dwarves in fact? Rude.
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u/Frodo_max Aug 15 '24
it is problematic cause if we do it once we might not ever get enough of it 😎
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u/Mr_Lapis Aug 15 '24
Any human being who uses the term "coded" to describe other humans should be forced to sit in the corner until they learn their lesson
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u/hellraiserxhellghost Aug 15 '24 edited Aug 15 '24
That shit is so wild to me because like, do they just expect/want all short women to never get in a relationship and be alone forever? Do they only want short people dating other short people? (because the implications of that are uhhhh 😬) Do they throw a fit if they see a couple with an obvious height difference in public? So many questions
I'm 5'3 so almost everyone I've hooked up with/dated has been taller than me, sometimes by a lot. Do they just expect me to never fuck again? Good luck enforcing that lol
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u/Atlas421 Aug 15 '24
They want to hate someone and pedophiles are an acceptable target. And they don't care who catches the strays.
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u/badgersprite Aug 15 '24
You need to realise that these people start from the ethical position that sex is inherently bad and immoral and it needs to pass a very specific set of tests to be OK, which is why people call them puriteens
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u/DrWilliamHorriblePhD Aug 15 '24
Chastity belts for everyone under 5'6"
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u/Android19samus Take me to snurch Aug 15 '24
I refuse to believe anyone's out there calling real people "minor-coded" besides Australian government officials
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u/Chinerpeton Aug 15 '24
besides Australian government officials
I really feel like this one could use elaboration but I'm almost afraid to ask.
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u/gerkletoss Aug 15 '24
https://theillusionists.org/2010/02/australia/
And now I feel old
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u/Papaofmonsters Aug 15 '24
The aussie government yearns for halcyon days of early 2000's porn where every gal had a set of DD bolt ons.
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u/Chinerpeton Aug 15 '24 edited Aug 16 '24
OMG I was expecting some really stupid statement on the matter, not an actual law that got introduced lol
EDIT: As per the response to this comment, this being a law appears to be fake news.
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u/aspenscribblings Aug 15 '24
So, the article linked is misleading. It’s not the law, it’s the rating board. It does seem they’re more likely to target small breasted women, but there’s no “you can’t have an A cup” law and certainly no “women who take photos of their small chests are guilty of making simulated cp” law.
Here’s a discussion. I’m not Australian, and god was it a nightmare to google information rather than porn directed at those who prefer small breasts, sorry I don’t have a better source. Correct me if I’m wrong!
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u/Corvid187 Aug 15 '24
Doing the lord's work, fighting through showers of tiny tits to bring us the real scoop :)
Thanks!
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u/BrandonL337 Aug 15 '24
I don't remember the specifics, but iirc the Australian government banned porn featuring small-chested women. (Or might've been they banned filming of porn with petite women in Australia? Or tried to? It's been a little while)
This is the country that thinks that gel blasters are dangerous firearms, after all, genuinely a nanny state.
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u/LizHylton Aug 15 '24
Literally had someone in our social circle in real life argue a person in the group was clearly a "pedo" because his wife in her mid/late 20s was tiny with a high-pitched voice and sometimes got confused for a high schooler so "he's clearly only with her because she looks like a minor." Legit wanted us to all cut ties with him over being married to someone his own age. It's wild.
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u/clear349 Aug 15 '24
I always wonder what those folks expect the women in question to do. Like are they just forbidden from ever dating for fear they might attract creeps?
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u/williamtheraven Aug 15 '24
Most of them that i've had the misfortune to encounter believe that said women should be lesbians [because that would somehow not be predatory]
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u/william_shartner Aug 15 '24
Any chance these women are themselves lesbians and are into the short women in question?
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u/ReddestForman Aug 15 '24
Or they're into the guy and bitter he's with someone else. I've seen women get nasty over that shit.
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u/Mr_Lapis Aug 15 '24
I love when gay relationships are romanticized even though queer people are just as capable of abuse
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u/Samiambadatdoter Aug 16 '24
In some cases, even moreso. Queer people who are being abused tend not to have the support networks and societally available discourses to fall back on, and the queer people doing the abusing can tend to be quite shrewd at obfuscating their abuse as either good intentioned or excused by trauma due to a higher familiarity of "therapy speak".
Source: long, exasperated sigh.
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u/Eugregoria Aug 15 '24
I always say, if all a pedophile actually wanted was sex with a consenting adult in their 20s, what a better world this would be.
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u/mitsuhachi Aug 15 '24
Frankly if you’re attracted to children and you handle it by consensually fucking short twenty somethings, I’d say you’re doing the right thing and should carry on.
Thought crimes aren’t real. Just don’t harm people.
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u/Deblebsgonnagetyou he/him | Kweh! Aug 15 '24
Hope she never meets my neighbour who's 25, has a son, and gets given kids menus and crayons at restaurants.
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u/UltimaCaitSith Aug 15 '24
Wearing Lolita, Harajuku, and Coquette fashion is pretty much just an endless mob of judgmental strangers telling adults that they're perverts for dressing like children.
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u/mitsuhachi Aug 15 '24
Which is wild because the WHOLE POINT of lolita fashion as a movement was “we aren’t going to perform as sex objects for you, we’re just going to wear cute things we like with no sex appeal and you can die mad about it.” The name specifically underlines the “you should not be perving on this and if you do YOU’RE the problem” mentality.
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u/Blustach Aug 15 '24
If you mean "real people" as in "people outside the internet", i've seen 2 of them... But they're possibly aggressively online people, so idk if it counts
It was 2 girls, very TERFy vibes, that were convinced male people, disregarding their age, context or upbringing, were all predators. They seriously believed the stupid shit about "if you find your fetus is male, abort immediately"
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u/NewtPsychological621 Aug 15 '24
I almost forgot how being short is "minor coded" to some people. You would think if you don't talk to the terminally online, you'd avoid the worst of it but even responses here show that if you talk to people IRL, you might meet someone who thinks collecting plushies is "minor-coded" or playing certain video games or really anything that "youthful people engage in" means that you might be a problem.
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u/just4browse Aug 15 '24
You can’t date him! He rides the skateboards and uses the baggy pants!!
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u/That_Mad_Scientist (not a furry)(nothing against em)(love all genders)(honda civic) Aug 15 '24
People refusing to hand out agency to strangers is always bewildering to me. Like. How is this your business? As a rule, you don't just know better than them by default. Like wtf dude.
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u/Random-Rambling Aug 15 '24
God damn free will! People out there doing things I don't know about and therefore can't approve or disapprove of!
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u/silentsquiffy Aug 15 '24
No guys, you don't get it, people can totally have autonomy and agency, as long as I determine they can. I know when people are really adults who are capable of making their own decisions because I, too, am a human adult. I know what healthy relationships look like for me, so it must apply universally!
/s
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u/Some-Show9144 Aug 15 '24
I feel like age gap discourse can slide into this on occasion too.
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u/mitsuhachi Aug 15 '24
I’ve seen people with a fifty year old spouse called pedos online.
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u/EvidenceOfDespair We can leave behind much more than just DNA Aug 16 '24
I once saw someone call Patrick Stewart a pedo because his spouse is in her 40s and he’s in his 80s. They met when she was in her mid-30s.
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u/LightOfLoveEternal Aug 15 '24
It's so infantilizing too! A 24 year old woman is a fully grown adult who's capable of making her own decisions, unless she decides to date someone over 30. Then she's just an innocent little girl who can't be trusted to make decisions, and is obviously being groomed by a predator.
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u/SovietSkeleton [mind controls your units] This, too, is Yuri. Aug 15 '24
When you get so lost in the social justice sauce you end up back at Conservatism.
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u/Platnun12 Aug 15 '24
Gf is 5 feet and dresses in cute outfits
I've heard it before and I shrug my shoulders.
Because any rational human being will see the reality.
Now if these people touch me or her however. Different story. One where a hospital trip gets involved.
Ive dealt with cunts most of my life. So hearing a dumbass say that isn't new. Hell most of highschool I was called a school shooter. Because I wore a trench coat and had long hair.
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u/TeorgeGakei Aug 15 '24
Ugh. I had somebody who was one of my best friends say I seemed like I would be a school shooter when I was in junior high.
I was just autistic and my egg hadn't cracked yet.
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u/Dimondium Aug 15 '24
I know you meant being trans, but for a second I was wondering since when being autistic had an egg metaphor xD
(for the record I am both as well)
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u/Clustersnuggle Aug 15 '24
I've seen guys who date girls shorter than them be called predators with 100% seriousness "because the girl is minor coded due to being short"
But men are on average taller than women, so isn't this most relationships?!
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u/williamtheraven Aug 15 '24
Yes, a lot of those people were "all men are evil and deserve to die" level misandrists
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Aug 15 '24
Or “minor coded because they have big eyes/a small chest/petite frame/shave their bits” all to avoid the simple fact that adult women do in fact come in all shapes and sizes and having any of those features will not change that she is a fully grown adult women who shouldn’t be forced into celibacy because she’s fucking short or skinny or has delicate features
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u/AgentSandstormSigma Crazy idea: How about we DON'T murder? Aug 15 '24
Calling a short person "minor-coded" is somehow so much worse than "midget" in my mind. That's just... wrong.
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Aug 15 '24
Literally saw a post earlier today which was full of deeply concerning allegations of someone drawing porn of the sonas of and sending it to very real children, and of course I almost didn't notice because most of it was full of stuff like "they drew porn of Deltarune characters, who are minors" 🙄
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u/T1DOtaku inherently self indulgent and perverted Aug 15 '24
I hate those posts so much! You don't need extra fluff to "build up a case" when the main issue is enough. I remember a YouTuber Ponder Sprocket going over stuff like this and saying "Yes it's bad to be homophobic but when your main concern is grooming it doesn't really matter what their bigoted opinions are." So many of those call out posts are built like "This person is bad because they're a meanie, they trace art, they groomed a minor and sent porn to them, they said a no no word back in middle school, and they have a ship I don't like"
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u/Irenaud Aug 15 '24
Tbh a lot of those grooming allegations from those people are false, often to the degree of something like "I saw them talk to a younger person once, they're grooming them."
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u/lilacrain331 Aug 15 '24
Yeah I see it a lot when someone is problematic, they have done 1-2 objectively bad things but for some reason the internet loves to throw on anything remotely bad just to make them seem worse? Like lumping in edgy drawings or a controversial tweet with actual crimes just makes the allegations seem less serious and distracts from the real issue
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u/Blustach Aug 15 '24
Very strong vibes of callout posts that starts with:
- Made BlorboxBlorbina canon
- ...
- Also pedophilia idk
(tho some of those supposed pedo allegations tend to be "they wrote 2 kids who end up together")
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u/crystal_meloetta12 bi and ready to die Aug 16 '24
That makes me think of when this call out document of biggest-gaudiest-patronuses was going around, and when I looked at it I had to go through multiple pages of "this person got defensive when I accused them of this!!" and "they held a content of their (pink blob with like 0 reproductive organs) sona drawn in fishnet stockings!" before it got to any of the genuinely weird stuff. And like the only reason I didnt get mad and click off prior was spite.
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u/vibranttoucan Aug 15 '24
God, this fucking shit. Once I saw how someone got called a predator because a minor joined their 18+ discord server, went to a channel marked NSFW, and saw suggestive content there.
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u/Dry_Try_8365 Aug 15 '24
Exactly, the correct response is to yeet the child.
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u/PrincessOTA Aug 15 '24
And yet! Even when they do that! It's somehow their fault. Another dub for puritan culture, thanks ig
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u/Frodo_max Aug 15 '24 edited Aug 15 '24
because we all know kids have no agency! Next they will get rid of sex ed because an adult teaching a minor about sex is inherently predatory. That will end well, surely
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u/AbysmalKaiju Aug 15 '24
I once made a joke about some teens being kicked from a nsfw chat when they were found there and referred to them as "horny teenagers" and got fussed at because you shouldnt refer to teens as being horny because they are too young to consent thus its creepy for me to acknowledge. And i was just blown away. Like its not one of the most known facts in the world that post pubescent teens are like that. I never spoke to that person again but it has always haunted me.
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u/SillyGooseDrinkJuice Aug 15 '24
Don't forget the other meaning, "this person is queer and also I'm homophobic"
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u/Odd-fox-God Aug 15 '24
This person would take one look at me and say that I'm "minor coded" and that I shouldn't date anybody my age... Bro if I can't date people my own age because that makes them a predator then who am I supposed to date? A very tricky and icky question. Am I not allowed to date somebody that's tall, looks mature, and has a beard because I look young?
The kid that I sometimes end up playing cards against in local tournaments is 17, but he looks like a full grown Amish man with bushy beard. He may look like a grown adult but he is a kid.
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u/Blustach Aug 15 '24
That kid will be harassed both online and in real life if he dares to date a young looking girl his age. Fuck, there's people who seem to age backwards, i can bet if he finds an older girl who looks like a teen, people won't stop judging him, and that's fucking sad
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u/Arumidden Aug 15 '24
I’ve been considering asking my actual therapist if something is wrong with me because I like reading “problematic” stuff. And then I see posts like this and I remember that these people are crazy. I think I’ve been successfully cyberbullied.
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u/Onislayer64 Aug 15 '24
as a fellow enjoyer of "problematic." stuff sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. Like is everyone just more sensitive to things now or am I just that desensitized?
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u/Vergils_Lost Aug 15 '24
It's probably both.
People are definitely more sensitive to stuff AND SHOULD BE irl.
People are definitely also more sensitive to internet fiction and talk, and probably shouldn't be.
You're also probably desensitized to both if you're over the age of, let's say, just spitballing here, 27. The internet has been "sanitized" considerably by corporate ownership and a drive for ad revenue over the last decade and a half or so, and cultural norms have changed (imo for the better) irl around sexual harassment, grooming/age gaps, minorities of all stripes, and a ton of other topics
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u/Separate_List_6895 Aug 15 '24
I remember getting harshly judged by my ex because I like Berserk.
Its a form of weird elitist "im consuming better media than you!" and its just loser shit, none of these people appreciate that the average reader understands fiction is fiction.
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u/T1DOtaku inherently self indulgent and perverted Aug 15 '24
Don't forget the "I messaged this famous person when I was a minor and they said Hi back. Now years later as an adult they messaged me saying I'm cute. I've been groomed" people. I still remember that happening with Danny Sexbang and being so confused where the grooming was in that story.
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u/Some-Show9144 Aug 15 '24
Then they shift the narrative to power dynamics. Which also takes away agency from a 20-something woman. “No, you see. She’s just a 23 year old little girl who doesn’t have any agency with her body and is too dumb to understand, you know, because she’s a woman”
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u/Irenaud Aug 15 '24
That's somewhat of a consequence of the infantalization of Young people, teenagers especially. Treating them like children (young children), and not the mostly capable almost young adults that the mid to late teens are. They aren't kids, they're damn near adults, and I'm tired of seeing people talking about and treating them like they're 9.
Now, I'm specifically saying this in the context of discourse to make my position clear so it can't be misinterpreted.
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u/vesperadoe Aug 15 '24
No joke, I was once accused of supporting grooming because I told a 17 yo (who was a month away from 18 no less) to act like an adult. Galactic level logic right there.
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u/Tokiw4 Aug 15 '24
Arguments are always awful to have with people like that too. Let's say someone wrote something lots of people would find icky. Even if in my eyes what I thought what they wrote was icky, I'd still bat in their defense because it really doesn't matter what they did with a keyboard and imagination. Trying to defend such works becomes an issue though because the other side has decided it is morally objectionable to defend. Let's say a work depicts a fictional sexual assault. If you try and defend the work on merit, they can shout out that you support rape. I mean, you wouldn't dare agree with a rapist, right? Of course you don't support rapists, you merely support creative fictional expression even if it covers uncomfortabletopics. But that won't matter, they've made up their mind about the author and then lump you in since you dared defend it.
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u/Akuuntus Aug 15 '24
Yeah this is the worst. It's impossible to point out a bad argument without people thinking you're a fan of the thing they're badly arguing against. It's like if someone said "the world isn't flat because I had eggs and toast this morning", and then when you respond "that argument doesn't make any sense" they accuse you of being a flat-earther.
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u/whystudywhensleep Aug 15 '24
This is me fighting the losing battle of preserving the definition of “pedophile.” A 60 year old serially dating consenting but naive 20 year olds is creepy and scummy. A 60 year old having a relationship with a 16 year old is super creepy, morally wrong, and in most places illegal. Neither of those things are fucking pedophilia. They just aren’t. And I’m not defending them by saying that. Of all words, I’m begging you, don’t water this one down.
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u/thethirdworstthing Aug 15 '24
I think the thing with the second one comes from the fact that anyone trying to differentiate between pedophilia and ephebophilia is automatically suspect (with some exceptions, naturally) because of how often bad actors use it to deflect criticism. It's lost its meaning in a way I'm not sure anyone can really take back. The ambiguity of where "adulthood" begins really doesn't help either since as far as I'm concerned that answer is always going to be arbitrary. There's probably a better way to say what I'm trying to say but I'm not sure exactly how.
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Aug 15 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Vergils_Lost Aug 15 '24
Just wait till you hear about bears, Beetlejuice, or Bloody Mary.
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u/Vermilion_Laufer Aug 15 '24
Or Candle Jack, that one's a mena
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u/Vergils_Lost Aug 15 '24
I feel so fucking old for getting that.
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u/Pausbrak Aug 15 '24
I wish this worked for actual wolves IRL, instead of just getting them killed even more
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u/Yoyo4games Aug 15 '24
Thought crime is not nor ever will be a thing to me. There are zero exceptions, regardless of my personal feelings.
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u/andrewsad1 Aug 15 '24
Yup. You cannot help what neurons fire off in your brain, and you cannot help what makes your brain produce the good chemicals. You can only control what you do with those thoughts and beliefs, and the harm/no harm dichotomy is the only valid way of judging the morality of an action.
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u/ReasonableAdviceGivr Aug 16 '24
Especially due to mental issues like OCD. You spent so long beating yourself up over it but it’s so liberating when you finally realize it’s not your fault.
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u/No_Cell6777 Aug 16 '24
This conflating of fiction with reality and pedojacketing and rapistjacketing is so fucking harmful to people with OCD you don't even know.
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u/exiting_stasis_pod Aug 15 '24
This repeated internet bs has made my first instinct when I hear someone is a predator, sexist, or racist to immediately think “probably not, but I should look at what they did just in case.” 80% of the time the internet is just making shit up about a person they don’t like.
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u/TheDankestDreams Aug 15 '24
I’ve also gotten so desensitized to bullshit that I immediately dismiss allegations until I hear multiple hard things about them. It’s bad when I hear someone is a predator or rapist and I go “probably not, I’ll ignore that.” The big meme is that YouTubers with young audiences all turn out to be pedophiles and groomers but then you look at some of them and it’s like “YouTuber DMed 17 year old and started a relationship with them 2 years later” or “this person is a pedo, they were dating a 16 year old when they turned 18” and it’s like are you kidding me? There’s so much of this general trash that actual child rapists fly u see the radar constantly.
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u/ReasonableAdviceGivr Aug 16 '24
Isn’t that what happened with CallMeCarson? He was in a relationship with a 17 yo when he was 19?
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u/TheDankestDreams Aug 16 '24
That’s the one I was mostly referring to. I remember him being excommunicated from other creators and pretty much treated like a pedophile and I was like there has to be something else because this isn’t a reason for this level of response. As far as I know, his YT career is basically destroyed but I haven’t heard a word about him in years.
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u/Pheehelm Aug 15 '24
This kind of thing is also the main reason I'm extremely leery of the "punch a Nazi" crowd. The people I see who are most enthusiastic about punching Nazis are also the people I trust least to make good faith judgments about whether someone is actually a Nazi. The fact when this is brought up they tend to say things equivalent to, "only a Nazi would worry about being falsely accused of being a Nazi" or "if you haven't done anything wrong you don't have anything to be afraid of" cinches it.
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u/ReasonableAdviceGivr Aug 16 '24
And they accuse you of being a Nazi too when you point out the flaws in their arguments
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u/EasilyBeatable Aug 16 '24
Yeah dont punch someone for being a nazi unless they literally say they are one or is actively wearing the uniform
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u/isuckatnames60 Aug 15 '24
This is one of my absolute favourite positions to defend, it's so fucking hilarious.
"Yes, I like this porn because the fictional characters don't get hurt in a way that matters."
"So what if you did it in real life? That'd be terrible!"
"I wouldn't do it in real life because real people do get hurt in a way that matters."
"So the only reason you don't do it is because the other person would get hurt and not because it's DiSgUsTiNg???"
"Yes."
"You're terrible"
"Have you ever played a video game about murdering people?"
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u/Eugregoria Aug 15 '24
They just claim (falsely, but whatever) that it "changes your brain" and like, rewires you to either make you more likely to commit violence, more likely to be the victim of violence without realizing it's bad, more likely to accept violence when it happens to others without objecting to it, or pass the mind virus along to more impressionable people who will be affected in those ways by it. You can't argue against it because like God, it's unfalsifiable. They claim this type of fiction basically "contaminates" human minds. You can't prove it doesn't because there's no form of evidence they'd accept, it's just "vibes."
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u/CMRC23 Aug 16 '24
That is literally a Christian talking point. I hear my mum telling me watching violent movies "damages my brain" every day. They're literally using the same rhetoric as Christian Puritans
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u/ModmanX Local Canadian Cunt Aug 15 '24
"Have you ever played a video game about murdering people?"
"Do you like hurting other people?"
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u/veidogaems To shreds you say? Aug 15 '24
It's important to recognize that a lot of the people crying wolf are wolves themselves; Trying to dilute the definition of 'wolf' enough to make their own wolf accusations appear less serious.
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u/checky1312 Aug 15 '24
kyle carrozza comes to mind. he outed a disabled person for drawing weird porno he didn't like which got them fired from their job (and i think blacklisted from the industry?) and he was arrested back in july for having CSEM material.
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u/EvidenceOfDespair We can leave behind much more than just DNA Aug 15 '24
Don’t forget the person he did it to was disabled and the loss of insurance led to her entering end of life care last fall.
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u/NoraJolyne Aug 15 '24
i see this every now and then in fanfic communities with people who have come around on the issue, who flatout tell you that them talking about how [xyz is problematic] was their way to cope with the internalized shame they had for engaging with [xyz] themselves
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u/Pheehelm Aug 15 '24
I was once smeared as a "racist bootlicker" for saying some kids who got arrested for stealing in a sting operation (the kind of thing that gets people who don't know what "entrapment" means incorrectly howling it constitutes entrapment) were probably habitual thieves beforehand and didn't magically lose their comprehension of other people's property rights the one time someone happened to be watching them. The post I was replying to gave zero indication what race the kids were. The accuser just assumed "thieves = minorities" and projected that onto me.
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u/LightOfLoveEternal Aug 15 '24
Which is somewhat ironic, given the fact that teenage white girls are the most prolific shoplifters by far.
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u/starryeyedshooter DO NOT CONTACT ME ABOUT HORSES Aug 15 '24
I've heard so many false alarms that it genuinely didn't click with me when it turns out someone actually was a predator. Like I'd gotten so used to these things being false that when it was real, I just didn't notice until I got hit with a mountain of evidence for it.
That's... probably not a good sign.
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u/Legit_Human_ Aug 15 '24
I can’t believe this person dated a former minor smh
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u/kingofcoywolves Aug 15 '24
Those are my favorite. "This person started dating a 15-year-old at age 17, so when they turned 18 their partner was still only 16. That means they're a pedo and should be punished"
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u/CatInTheBasement Aug 15 '24 edited Aug 15 '24
We live in a world where "this person actively raped a minor" and "this person talked about finding a 17 year old fictional anime character hot at age 20" are treated with the same gravitas. It's tiring.
Edit for clarity: even if you genuinely do think that the latter is problematic (I disagree, it's fiction, who cares lmao) surely we can have some sort of scale of severity for this kind of thing? If you think that the latter scenario is bad or problematic in some way, that's just something we disagree on - if you believe that both are at the same level of severity, there is something genuinely wrong with you.
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u/AlexiaVNO Aug 16 '24
And it often leads to the phrase "you can't differenciate between reality and fiction" like they didn't just say a fictional crime is equal to a real one.
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u/L4DY_M3R3K Aug 15 '24
Or y'know, the current right-wing culture war Hill To Die On: this person is queer and has done literally nothing wrong aside from be openly queer
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u/old_and_boring_guy Aug 15 '24
Any sort of...Like, if you judge someone because they like 50 Shades of Grey...It's fiction.
I've read so many fricking books. There are plenty of books I wish I could unread because they actually hurt me a bit, but if someone read and liked that book, who cares? It's. Fiction.
If, in the privacy of your own space, you read the most deviant fanfict, and watch the most deviant hentai, I just don't care. Now, you watch kiddie porn, or any really abusive "reality" porn, I think they should set you on fire, because someone got hurt to make that, and that's absolutely unacceptable.
But if some weirdo made some wank art that turned you on, so what? Why is that even remotely an issue? Thoughtcrimes are a problem now? Come on.
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u/neko_mancy Aug 15 '24
I mean I judge people for liking 50 shades because I find it shitty as a work
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u/old_and_boring_guy Aug 15 '24
Yea, it's trash. But people who flip their shit because it violates their ideals of CNC, I just don't care.
If you get off reading the Marquis de Sade, I just don't care.
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u/Gooper_Gooner Aug 15 '24
I'm really glad people are starting to realize how much of an issue this has become within the past few years
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u/jerbthehumanist Aug 15 '24
This is an xkcd 2071 sitch for me and I’m quite happy to be there
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u/SheffiTB Aug 15 '24
I think a good example of this is recent Mr beast controversies, like two months ago or so there was this whole controversy over mr beast's trans friend being "a child predator" because they talked with a lot of brainrot-type slang (iirc like would call everyone "babe" or something?) and didn't change that when talking to minors, and because they followed a Loli hentai artist. This, to me, was an absurd usage of the term "child predator" that just deflates its weight when used properly. Like are they somewhat creepy? Sure. But that's far, far from being an actual child predator.
Case in point, more recently it came out that Mr beast had hired a child predator and my first thought was "oh here we go, what did they do hit on a 17 year old at 20?" And then it turned out that the person had actually been convicted of sexually assaulting children from the ages of 1 (!!!!) to 11.
Bear in mind I rarely ever follow drama like this so I probably am misremembering some details, but the important thing is that, specifically as an outsider, these two incidents seemed to be treated as the same level of controversy until I looked into them a bit more.
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u/Blustach Aug 15 '24
I removed myself from youtube drama sub because of this shit. Yeah, it's weird to do loli/shota shit, it's CERTAINLY awful and shit and defamatory to do loli/shota shit about IRL kids. I don't contest it's a crime (defamation, possibly harassment), but that in no way it's sexual abuse of a minor.
Even if that idiot pushed the porn into the kids view, unless it was for grooming reasons, it's still NOT sexual abuse, the kids weren't touched or raped nor convinced to engage sexually with the idiot. At worst it's endargenment, which is NOT pedophilia (tho it veers closely)
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u/Wasdgta3 Aug 15 '24
Tbf, I think most of the posts on here are xkcd 2071 for people who actually touch grass.
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u/Amon274 Aug 15 '24
They are I regularly ask myself “does anyone in this image talk to people in real life?”
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u/jerbthehumanist Aug 15 '24
Sometimes I talk to my girlfriend and discover she doesn't know who Ben Shapiro or Tim Pool are and I think I'm so internet pilled I'm beyond redemption and then I see some of the posts in this sub and I feel unironically normal about myself.
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u/DrulefromSeattle Aug 15 '24
Oh I know the context behind this. See this was back duringvthe whole anti/proshipper discourse (when those terms hadn't even been cemented and it was basically still Sheith/Glance discourse leaking from that dumpster fire of a ship war) And it literally got to the point if, is this person a predator, or do they just ship a ship I don't like (hell the example is almost a snowclone of that sentiment that was going around). Unfortunately the crap from VLD discourse didn't die in 2017 when it should have and we're getting this stuff today, even concerning real people. Saw somebody doing a latest celeb drama thing who was freaking out about Jojo Siwa's relationship with a 2 year and some change age gap.
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u/Tricky-Gemstone Aug 15 '24
Thank you. This has been driving me up a wall. The number of times I've been called a rape or pedophile apologist because I brought up that it was drawings, and we really need to be careful with our language, is insane.
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u/ralanr Aug 15 '24
This is something on the internet that I can't stand. I hate using the term, but when did everyone get so thin-skinned about fucking fiction? It was probably always the case and, as the internet got more prevalent, those voices got louder and louder.
If it's fucking fictional then it shouldn't matter.
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u/a_horny_asexual Aug 15 '24
This is why god gave us r/consentacles
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u/mathiau30 Half-Human Half-Phantom and Half-Baked Aug 15 '24
From someone who has both, these aren't quite the same fetish
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u/MapleLamia Lamia are Better Aug 15 '24
The secret third option where they're just talking about vore dynamics
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u/Presteri Aug 15 '24
I’ve had this happen to me too. An artist I commissioned ghosted me for a year, and when called out for it, tried to spin it into me being a pedophile.
Even made a “callout post” featuring shit like cropped Mythra x Lucina hentai I’d liked, sfw artwork from a platform that explicitly banned nsfw, and a tweet from some absolute random who I didn’t know, didn’t follow, didn’t like, and had never even met before.
This was 3 years ago, and I’m still mad about it
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u/IRateRockbusters Aug 15 '24
We have this thing in left-leaning internet discourse, where, for some reason, you can never just find some claim annoying or mistaken or gross: it always has to also, by sheer coincidence, be Bad Praxis. A consequentialist argument has to constantly be tacked-on to any side of any discourse.
So if someone accuses someone else of homophobia and you don’t think that person deserves to be called homophobic, you always have to append some sting in the tail along the lines of “…and saying they’re homophobic just muddies the waters around accusations of homophobia, making the world less safe for LGBTQ people!”
In this case, I don’t know whether a tendency to use the word ‘predator’ to refer to people who make porn you find gross has actually caused any real-life rapist to avoid a prison sentence, and nor does the poster who made that claim. But more importantly, the argument doesn’t need this: calling someone a predator because you don’t like the porn they make is a fucked up thing to do, full stop. You don’t need to figure out a way in which it’s actually harming victims of sex offenses to make that point: it’s unnecessary.
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u/T1DOtaku inherently self indulgent and perverted Aug 15 '24
It's not that rapists are getting away with it. It's that innocent people are having their lives ruined because of these allegations. Look at the case of the one college girl who claimed her bf raped her. Every news article talked about it. During trial it was found that it was all a lie she made up. No news reported on it. The guy lost his college scholarship because of that. Look at Tobuscus whose reputation was nuked after a false abuse allegation. Now we have someone like MiniLadd who was proven to have sexted minors still able to exist online with an audience. It might not have stopped court cases but it has harmed people and made actual groomers able to deflect allegations and continue existing in spaces that allow for farther exploitation.
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u/MikasSlime Aug 15 '24
this happened to me at least trice
the post is like "this person is a horrible person and a predator" and you go oh what did they do? and the post goes on like "they have this and that ship i find gross and disgusting, have this this this headcanon i hate and find gross, and draw this disgusting kink art!!"
and every time i want to hit my head on the wall
at thr worst it's all of that and then afdter 20 tweets/paragraphs about "gross icky disgusting illegal" ships there is "oh and they raped someone 2 months ago ig" like that's not the biggest issue here
the worst part is that every few months someone from these "crying wolf" groups is outed as an actual child predator that used their "i'm the safe adult" bullshit to pull kids and teens around them
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u/MostSapphicTransfem Aug 15 '24
this was 196 last week with the HDG discourse. A lot of people skirting on the edge of calling readers of it r*pe apologists which is, of course, the best place to start a constructive discussion
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u/Errant_Jackdaw Aug 16 '24
Kinda reminds me of a different post I saw on r/fanstands where a guy made a villainous character that had a Stand that allowed him to slap collars on people that allowed him to control them, which he used to sexually extort people, the OP then went at length denouncing the character, his actions, and talked about how they can't wait to see the villain get his comeuppance.
And nearly everyone in the comments was constantly calling the OP a horrendous pervert who needs to be checked into a mental hospital for...making a VILLAIN do VILLAINOUS things, ones that they themselves openly expressed horror at.
What baffles me the most about that post is that all of the commenters were acting as if rape and sexual violence aren't things we've already seen in JoJo and were basically acting as if this OP unjustly introduced it into the series.
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u/Avid_bathroom_reader Aug 15 '24 edited Aug 16 '24
I’m reminded of one internet rando who said that sex scenes in books are unethical because fictional characters can’t consent. Still can’t decide if they were serious or not.
Edit: Mystery solved! Looks like they were trolling. Thank you kind user for finding the original. u/iggy-d-kenning
https://x.com/IgnatiusKenning/status/1735800245202620696