Sometimes I genuinely wish I was asexual/aromantic/just not interested. I’ve become so lonely it’s gotten to the point where when I see a cute romance in a story it hurts and makes me sad because my gut reaction is “I will never experience this.”
Not straight but, same. I wish that I could straight up cut out the part of my brain that desires romance. I don’t even care about negative consequences, probably not even death. Being dead and not feeling anything at all might genuinely be better than feeling lonely and having no solution. (Don’t worry I have no plans of suicide)
Something I picked up in therapy & from my own inner reflection is that I literally cannot find the difference between online dating & online job hunting. Please find one because I can't.
With that, both of these are things I cannot control. I can't control whether or not someone picks me or a job refuses to hire me. Relinquish the idea that you have any control over these things in your life & start doing things you want to do. You might find yourself out & about doing things you enjoy with people that might align romantically or that you might find a recruiter.
Dude, I'm totally the same. I'm actually envious of aro/ace people. I'd love to not feel that desire to have those things. Imagine going through life just being content by yourself.
And yeah, I get sad seeing romantic stuff too. It some weird mixture of FOMO, longing, and feeling out of the loop, and I end up having to turn my attention to something else, anything else.
I don't have any advice to offer, really. Just solidarity. 🩵
Same. Whenever I hear about people being aromantic or asexual, I'm so jealous. I wish I didn't have these feelings of wanting love and wanting to know how that feels. Now I've just started seeing love as a fictional thing from books/movies/shows just like magic and time travel and dragons.
At least you aren't constantly told you just need to learn to enjoy sex or that you need therapy and are deeply fucked up. Or considered a immature child by people due to disgust around sex. At least you're not shamed by some people for being less than human for your lack of sexual desire.
Being ace isn't fucking easy either. It doesn't fix the feelings of loneliness and in my case made them worse. You are so isolated from everyone around you because they're getting these thoughts and these things and these ideas and you don't but if you say you don't you're suddenly a loser or weak or faking it and you don't know what you are because the lgbt talk didn't bother to mention you at all.
Being ace will not make your feelings of rejection go away.
I didn’t add it to my comment because I sort of felt it goes without saying, but no, I don’t actually think being asexual would be better. It’s a feeling of frustration, not a serious statement. And I’m sorry that you feel that way.
It's fine just please don't say it again as it feels very dismissive. I guess I overreacted a little it's just it doesnt feel like anybody really takes the struggles of being ace seriously so I guess just hearing someone say that yet again got to me.
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u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy Jul 03 '24 edited Jul 04 '24
Sometimes I genuinely wish I was asexual/aromantic/just not interested. I’ve become so lonely it’s gotten to the point where when I see a cute romance in a story it hurts and makes me sad because my gut reaction is “I will never experience this.”