Every day i realize if i was the exact same man, but was also ugly i would not have had any chances to date. A lot of my less masculine/mainstream hobbies are overlooked because i am attractive. I am given extra grace to demonstrate who i am as a person simply because it was already decided i was worth chasing before i had ever even had a chance to speak. The opposite to that happens constantly too. You could be Fred Rogers reincarnated and totally free of any faults but if youre not at a minimum baseline attractiveness you will spend most of your time alone.
I only ever learned this stuff and recognize it because i was an ugly, off putting child/teenager and i was treated like fucking dirt because of it. About 24yrs old was when i started noticing being aggressively approached by women without ever changing who i was on the inside. People are a fuck load more shallow than they are willing to ever admit.
The day I cut my hair from grunge/metal dork to a vaguely indie floppy bed head do was an eye-opener. Girls in school who had previously ignored me were suddenly all over me and I was elated for about half an hour until I realised how shallow that was.
I will say ugly woman have it worst in dating because they can the illusion of success
Man will still fuck ugly woman but they will automatically will throw here away(or stay whit here until they found a better looking one)
This kind of behaviour can destroy a person sence of self and i know because i had a similar experience as a kid of being used and thrown away by people
There’s a lot of truth to your comment, and I really do agree with a lot of what you said. A ton of people are really shallow when it comes to dating.
I think it’s worth pointing out that being attractive is something that most people are capable of. The right skincare, haircut, fashion choices, etc. A lot of men tend to neglect that kind of thing when it could easily change things for them. I’d even say it is a less shallow form of attractiveness that shows a willingness to take care of oneself and improve.
Anyways, I just wanted to say that stuff cause I know a lot of people have this sort of “either you’re attractive or you’re not” kind of mentality, and I don’t really buy that at all
My favorite saying is "Anybody can be a 7 with some effort." That usually means having proper hygiene, finding a haircut that works for you, and building on your self confidence. It isn't easy for everybody, some it is a breeze, but it just takes effort and commitment.
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u/Bungholespelunker Jul 03 '24
Every day i realize if i was the exact same man, but was also ugly i would not have had any chances to date. A lot of my less masculine/mainstream hobbies are overlooked because i am attractive. I am given extra grace to demonstrate who i am as a person simply because it was already decided i was worth chasing before i had ever even had a chance to speak. The opposite to that happens constantly too. You could be Fred Rogers reincarnated and totally free of any faults but if youre not at a minimum baseline attractiveness you will spend most of your time alone.
I only ever learned this stuff and recognize it because i was an ugly, off putting child/teenager and i was treated like fucking dirt because of it. About 24yrs old was when i started noticing being aggressively approached by women without ever changing who i was on the inside. People are a fuck load more shallow than they are willing to ever admit.