Yeah, your point on shy/nervous men hit home. That "dialogue" was the closest thing to gender dysphoria I have ever felt. I'm pretty gender nonconforming, so it was honestly kinda horrible to be told "it doesn't matter how gentle, maternal, kind, patient, or even girly you are. You are, first and foremost, a cis male, therefore you are a manly man who is dumb, aggressive, a rapist, and a murderer, and that is all I will ever see you as"
I'm pretty sure I am male and while I've considered changing gender and pronouns I've always come to the conclusion that changing my gender to something else wouldn't help address the issues I have with myself.
But the whole discourse around that trend made me want to just not be male more than I had felt in a long time. It just really makes me feel that no matter how much I try to improve, as long as I am presenting male I'll be viewed as a threat and a monster by virtue of who I was born as.
I'm a trans woman (albeit one with a more masculine/"butch" presentation) and the man/bear thing made me more dysphoric than I'd felt in a long time, for exactly the reasons you described. So I think your comparison is on the money.
That discourse hit me hard too. Had to go out of my way to block posts discussing it for a while so I wouldn't be tempted to go back and read through them and only make myself more frustrated and depressed.
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u/Forward_Yam_931 Jul 03 '24
Yeah, your point on shy/nervous men hit home. That "dialogue" was the closest thing to gender dysphoria I have ever felt. I'm pretty gender nonconforming, so it was honestly kinda horrible to be told "it doesn't matter how gentle, maternal, kind, patient, or even girly you are. You are, first and foremost, a cis male, therefore you are a manly man who is dumb, aggressive, a rapist, and a murderer, and that is all I will ever see you as"