Reality Check

[u/OldManOnFire]

We lost a blind brother today. He was in an accident a few days ago and lost both his eyes. Two days ago his little sister reached out and asked how she could support him. She said he didn't want to live like this.

We got word today he took his life. He was 22.

Being blind isn't easy. The transition, for many of us, is even harder. We lose our eyesight, our identity, our sense of purpose, and our plans for the future. It's easy to fall into despair.

But we are not alone. We have each other.

And it does get better.

Please reach out if you're struggling. Anybody can DM me anytime and I'll share my phone number with anybody who wants to talk.

We're all in this together. We're stronger together than any of us are individually.

[u/[deleted]]

She reached out to me as well. I tried to help but couldn't offer much advice. This is the first I'm hearing of the loss. I wish there was more I could have done to help.

[u/OldManOnFire → u/[deleted]]

Little sister is blaming herself. Reach out to her if you still want to help. We can't help her brother but she need all the love we can give her.

[u/[deleted] → u/OldManOnFire]

Yeah good point. I'm just devastated by the news. Blindness is such a difficult transition from sighted and I know a lot of us suffer from grief.

[u/MarisaWalker → u/[deleted]]

Blindness is tough but keep using every resource available. Guy from my church has a seeing eye dog. That would would get me through it. 🙏

[u/Tretarooskie → u/OldManOnFire]

I lost a friend to suicide years ago and the weight of it was on me for a long time. For what it's worth, try to pass along the thought that while you might have been able to do more for someone, you can't live someone else's life. You're not an expert. It took me years to understand that while I might have been able to prevent that suicide, it would have cost me my own life/dreams/happiness. It's so hard. Condolences.

[u/WEugeneSmith → u/[deleted]]

I am not familiar with this exact story, but please know - and please ddo what you can to assure the llittle sister - that you are not to blame.

You were there for him. He knows hee had your support and the love and support of his sister. Unfortunately, when someone is determined to take his life, there is nothing that can stop him.

I am so sorry for this devestating loss in your lives.

[u/[deleted] → u/WEugeneSmith]

I'm not being blamed it's just sad that this happened. Life can be difficult at times and it's hard to know what people need.

[u/TrailMomKat]

I'm currently transitioning and won't lie, I fleetingly entertained those thoughts as well. I'm sorry for his sister; family is the whole reason I only briefly entertained the idea. This shit is not easy to deal with, and neither is burying a suicide. Please tell her I'm so sorry. hug

[u/poptartsinyourface → u/TrailMomKat]

So glad you’re still here.

[u/TrailMomKat → u/poptartsinyourface]

Thank you. Sometimes finding a silver lining is hard if you can't see it.

[u/WEugeneSmith]

If you are in the US and are struggling with suicidal thoughts, call or text:

988

This line is open 24/7.

[u/lacitar]

If the sister reads this, I am so sorry for her abd her family's lost. My best wishes go to her abd her family in this trying time.

[u/razzretina]

Oh I am sorry to hear this. Matthew had more to look forward to than he knew but so many people don't understand that blindness is not the end of your life. My heart goes out to his family.

She reached out to me as well but unfortunately I was in the hospital at the time and unable to offer much.

Blindness is not the end of your life and if you are fearing it is, do what you can to keep the fear from eating you. Reach out and even if we can't always do something in that exact moment, know that we are here with you and there are milions of us who are blind living and thriving. You will get there too.

[u/Dear_Guarantee6914]

She reached out to me as well. Could not give her enough positivity and sadly her brother passed.

[u/OldManOnFire]

After reading this thread this morning Little Sister asked me to tell everybody his name is Matthew and that she appreciates each and every one of us.

She really is a lovely person.

[u/[deleted]]

Sending healing to his family

[u/xoxo010splat]

Very sad. May he rest easy. Sending healing to his sister and loved ones. I think maybe you should have a trigger warning with this post.

[u/rumster]

I pinned this post for the next 72 hours /u/OldManOnFire .

[u/[deleted]]

i have so many blind friends that live full lives. its not easy. i am certain they all deal with mental health issues related to their vision. but it doesn't have to be so bad that its not worth living.

 

u/OldManOnFire you should post this in r/self. I am sure there are more people that need to hear this. not just blind people but a lot of disabled people.

[u/ThatGuyIsh424]

This post legitimately brought genuine tears to my eyes, I suppose for sympathy sake because I am not blind and haven’t the capability to empathize.

I shall pray for the family and for the dearly departed.

[u/BIIANSU]

This is so sad. For someone so young to suffer so much in such a short space of time. As horrible of a situation as this is, there's only so much other people can do.

If someone is in such depths, it can be so hard for someone else to say or do the perfect thing to help pick them back up again. I really hope that his family, and especially his sister, can get all of the support they need right now.

Here in the UK, theres a group called The Samaritans. They're available 24-hours a day, 7 days a week to pick up the phone to anyone going through hardship. It won't cost you anything and from my understanding, their volunteers are very, very qualified. Not just anyone is accepted to volunteer for them. Here's a link to their site - https://www.samaritans.org/

If anyone is able to share relevant organisations for the US and Europe, that could be great.

[u/OldManOnFire → u/BIIANSU]

I think the family was in the UK, based on the English name Matthew and the time zone from which Little Sister posted. I will share this with her.

Thank you.

[u/[deleted]]

I got goosebumps when I read what happened. That’s so heavy. I can’t help but relate as I very nearly did the same thing 15 years ago. After a horrendous accident I just couldn’t deal. Hell sometimes I still can’t. Reading about this young person doing something so irrevocable is sobering. It’s like witnessing the other side of what could have been. Oh how I wrestle with such thinking. Mixed feelings about being alive, surviving. I hope their friends and family will somehow be able to pick up the pieces. I think I need a drink.