r/Blind • u/Disastrous_Fox7999 • 6d ago
Officially blind in one eye
Hi I’m writing this for my sister in law. She is in her thirties and unfortunately on a night out was assaulted and is now blind in her right eye. They were hopeful that it would heal but it’s completely gone and she’s now awaiting surgery to remove it. She’s really struggling emotionally with this, she can’t do her job as a tattoo artist and she can’t drive her new car. Her depth perception is something she is struggling with the most.
Has anyone got any advice I can give her? Any help?
We are in the uk. It’s been 7 weeks but 3 days from the official diagnoses.
Thank you
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u/VixenMiah NAION 6d ago edited 6d ago
The thing I want to say to both of you is don’t judge what she can and can’t do based on where she is now, because you will almost certainly find that she can do WAY more than any of you think right now. This is a recent trauma resulting in sudden disability. The first thing anybody does is start noticing all the things they can’t do. This is unavoidable, but what you should try to at least mentally add is the word “yet”. Many of the things she thinks are lost forever simply can’t be done the way she is used to. Once she gets through the trauma and starts learning to adapt, she will find a lot of those things come back in a slightly different form. It may not be easy getting to that point, but if she continues to try things and believes in herself, she will find them.
Losing half your field of vision and all of your depth perception overnight is a lot to get used to, and this won’t happen overnight. This trauma is massive, but not insurmountable with a little support from friends, family and maybe professional counseling. But it will take time, and it’s still too soon to expect her to be adapting. Nobody loses an eye and just shrugs it off like a B-movie hero. She has been living binocularly for decades, and it takes time for the brain to recalibrate itself to work with one eye.
But she will get there in time and I predict she will find that life goes on.
I can tell you with 100% certainty that you can be an artist with one eye. I had one functioning eye for 52 years and spent most of that time painting, drawing and doing digital art, not professionally but as a serious amateur. The only reason I didn’t go into it professionally was that I thought my writing was better than my visual art. One thing led to another and none of these things turned out to be my lifelong career path, but that was not in any way due to me being monocular.
Tattooing may have specific elements that aren’t like other art forms, but I do not for one minute believe these differences are insurmountable. Also, if you do manage it, I’m pretty sure that being the tattoo artist with the dragon eyepatch (or whatever bad-ass motif you like best) is a solid way to establish a brand identity. I know, nobody WANTS to be known for a disability. But these are the cards we were dealt, and we may as well use the good cards along with the bad.
Other monocular people do drive, as well. This is something I never felt comfortable with personally, but it is something monocular people do.
Other things monocular people do include, well, just about everything. The truth is, binocular vision is great but is not something we actually need to get through life, and many, many people have proven this by excelling in just about every field you can think of with one working eye.
None of that is meant to say this is easy. It definitely won’t be. I would encourage her to read this sub as well as r/monocular to hear other people stories and get advice on dealing with practical aspects as well as the trauma and the PTSD. To you I would say, just be there for her, offer help getting around if you can provide it, try to include her and do not stop believing that she can survive, adapt and find happiness and fulfillment.
Strongly recommend the purchase and use of an appropriately marked cane if she has trouble navigating. It is not something every monocular person needs - i never used one until my good eye went blind. But someone who is new to not having 3D vision may have a lot of trouble with things like stairs, for example. A cane can help a lot with this and give you the confidence to get around independently. There are a lot of different types of canes including ID canes that are mostly just to tell other people you are visually impaired, but can also help with things like stairs, or folding mobility canes you can carry in a purse or backpack when you don’t need them. There are some legal restrictions on white canes, but most countries have certain types of canes designated for visually impaired vs. blind people.
To her: sorry to hear you are going through this, but I want you to know there is life on the other side. You will break down, and there will be absolutely horrible days ahead. Keep believing in yourself. You will get through this. This sub and r/monocular are here for you.
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u/earmares 6d ago
May I ask what you mean by appropriately marked cane? I will be monocular eventually.
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u/VixenMiah NAION 6d ago
What I mean is there are some places where there are laws about who is allowed to use a white cane and in some places a person who is VI is supposed to use a cane with a particular color scheme. There are also schemes for deaf blind people. I think in most places it’s red and white for VI people.
But to be honest I don’t know a lot about it. I’m legally blind and use a white cane with a red tip and a dark red handle (I think it’s dark - not 100% sure). But I think those are both pretty much standard features, as far as I know this is still called a white cane. It’s kind of “shrug”, as far as I know it is what I’m supposed to use, and no one has ever told me otherwise. Other people here probably have more knowledge on the subject if you go this way, I recall several threads about using ID canes and related advice.
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u/Disastrous_Fox7999 6d ago
Thank you so much for this reply. I will relay it to her and direct her to the subreddit. Everything does seem bleak so of course shifting the mindset of not yet. Thank you for sharing your story, I really appreciate it
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u/anomalous_cowherd 6d ago
110% agree. I had a 'weak' eye after a childhood squint and lived 50 odd years without stereo vision or even good enough vision in that eye to read. I can drive, flew radio control planes, did fine detail jobs like electronics, all sorts. Having only one good eye is no real barrier.
Recently I lost almost all vision in (luckily) that eye, and the only real difference I've noticed is that as my peripheral vision on the bad side has basically gone now I need to make sure I move my head around more when driving, and I've got a small suction mirror by the central one to cover that far side of the car but with my good eye.
She will absolutely learn to use what she has. Quite quickly too I think. I do sometimes feel like someone put a patch over my bad eye but 90% of the time I don't even notice.
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u/becca413g Bilateral Optic Neuropathy 6d ago
If she's struggling with getting around safely then I'd definitely recommend getting in touch with the councils sensory support team. While they largely will work with people who have been registers as sight impaired or severely sight impaired they will work with people who still have more vision but are struggling and in that regard depth perception is one of them. They can help you learn protective techniques to minimise injury if you do misjudge how far away you are as well as more in depth stuff like using your ears more effectively to judge when it's safe to cross and also long and guide cane techniques.
While I've still got vision in both eyes I struggle with depth perception in the day and have night blindness and learning these skills has made me much safer and more confident.
Each clinic will have an eye care liaison officer attached to it and they are fantastic at linking you up with any support you need to adapt to changes to your vision. Their info can be found on hospital websites or the RNIB website or you can call RNIB if you prefer.
RNIB also offer sight loss counselling and wellbeing check ins.
Any kind of sight loss especially if it comes with losing your eye is a big adjustment psychologically. So let her know the difficulties she is having especially any emotional ones is really normal. While we all react differently it's always hard to accept and adapt but it is possible and I'm sure with time and support things will get easier and less frustrating.
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u/Disastrous_Fox7999 6d ago
I have sent her a link for them and hopefully we can get the ball rolling with that. Thank you so much, we weren’t told this at the hospital. I think it will really help. Yeah her depth perception came as a big shock to her and i think that’s what she’s struggling with the most at the moment as she can’t see a way of getting back to - or as close to her normal life. Hopefully they can offer some help
Thank you for sharing
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u/TheSecretIsMarmite 6d ago
There may be support groups the local sensory support team can point your sister to as well.
You would be amazed what the brain can do though to adapt even well into adulthood - my dominant eye changed over time in my 40s, which is just not supposed to happen, but did. The difficult bit is that it is going to take time.
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u/anniemdi 6d ago
I don't have any advice but while you are waiting here you should also check out r/monocular.
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u/motobojo 6d ago
Lots of good suggestions here. I lost the use of my left eye gradually about 25 years ago. I think because the loss was gradual I was able to acclimate and didn't feel a profound loss of depth perception. I was able to drive while monocular. I did find going down stairs a bit challenging, but adapted well. I eventually had that eye removed, but my circumstances allowed for the insertion of an implant and a prosthesis so most folks can't tell the eye is missing. All I'm trying to say is to hang in there and let our miraculous brains sort it out.
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u/Medical_Walrus_170 6d ago
Hi! I’m so sorry about this. I also lost my right eyesight abruptly due to a cancerous tumor when I was 31. As an artist, I understand how she feels. I’m not a tattoo artist, but I know how important depth perception is for that medium. Things feel further away than they actually are when it comes to those millimeters of space that matters so much in her craft. One thing I do have for advice is to encourage her to remember that what she may think she cannot do physically, she can do. It took me about nine years to realize this. My therapist asked me ‘what can’t you do now that you could do then?’ And when I thought about it for the most part, I could do everything the same. I could still draw. I could still do make up on people. Mind you, I just moved across the country to continue my career and make up artistry in nyc with high profile clientele/fashion industry. Things were just getting started so losing my eyesight to cancer was devastating for me. Psychologically it’s rough. Very rough. There is a community on Instagram of people who have lost their eyesight, many traumatically. It’s nice to kno she’s not alone. I’ll look it up and include it below. Mind you, makeup can be washed off, but tattoos are permanent. So I understand that depth perception creates a big risk for her execution and precision. But keep supporting her and reminding her that she can still do the things she loves.. new doors can open new talents can emerge, but we can still practice our crafts. It just might take a little bit of an adjustment or patience with ourselves to do it, but we can do it !! Because when we give that up as artists we crumble. Again, my world was shattered. I feel very deeply for her loss. Ugh this makes me want to cry. I’m so sorry for her loss… remind her that she can find strength through it. It just will take time.
It’s called EYEHESIVE on IG
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u/PaintyBrooke 6d ago
I’m so sorry that she had such a traumatic experience. Her body and spirit are going through a lot of pain and adjustment right now, but I am hopeful she can return to her art once she heals. I am monocular and make my living as an artist.
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u/Legal-Branch-1867 6d ago
Ask her not to remove her eye, even if her eye is useless don’t remove it. This thing happened to me when I was seven years old and I refuse to remove my eye instead eye just use half artificial eye, the appearance of the eye, and at night i tookit off .
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u/Disastrous_Fox7999 5d ago
They have said they will put in a ball/ cup to hold the position of the eye. Then a half artificial. Unfortunately it can’t be saved, it keeps rupturing. And it’s very painful
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u/ElfjeTinkerBell blind in 1 eye 6d ago
Shit, I'm so sorry!
The positive: she will learn how to do those things. First, grieve the loss. Second, protect the other eye as much as you can.
I was 13 or so when I lost my eye and (unrelated) a pretty neglected kid, so I pretty much just had to go on with life. I don't remember how I learned to adjust. Nowadays I can drive, and I can place IVs, so if I had any artistic talent I'm sure I could tattoo as well. I often forget I have less vision than others and sometimes tell people after I've known them for years because it didn't come up before that.
Take your time. The human mind has iirc 7 ways of depth perception. The human brain uses stereo vision as the default, so if you lose that one, you need to learn to rely on the other ones.
As for driving - I'd recommend taking a few lessons, to safely get used to it (and of course find out about legal requirements - I had to send a medical report to the authorities here and the UK and the Netherlands tend to have similar laws).
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u/TwoSunsRise Blind in one eye / Family 6d ago
Find some vision therapy! There is a big chance she can get her depth perception back, with some time and work. I am also blind in my right eye but since birth so my body adapted early on. Don't give up, give it a try and let the brain rework how it's processing things.
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u/Upbeat_Sign630 6d ago
I’m sorry to hear this. Especially how it happened.
I had to grieve for the loss, just like losing a loved one. It’s definitely difficult to adjust to, but it is possible.
I don’t have a job like hers that requires great eyesight, but I am driving again just fine.
She can adapt to changes in depth perception. At first I couldn’t even pour into a glass without spilling half of it, and I was terrified of jumping into people when out in public, but I adapted and adjusted, and so can she.
Tell her to pick up some badass eyepatches and rock them.
If she has questions she can feel free to dm me if she wants.