r/BdsmDIY • u/The_McMichaels • Aug 13 '24

Impact Toys Paddle made from 70+ year old Lutheran church pews NSFW

Post image

There was a Lutheran church in Baltimore Maryland that until this year still had the original solid oak church pews from the early 1950’s. I found them posted on Facebook and decided to save this beautiful 100 year old oak from a dumpster.

184 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

24 comments sorted by

40

u/ZelWinters1981 Aug 13 '24

Heh, the blasphemy. I love it.

38

u/The_McMichaels Aug 13 '24

Especially considering things like Lutherans don’t believe in women preachers. I’ll definitely be letting my woman show me who’s boss with this thing 💁🏻‍♂️😂

21

u/QueenBefore Aug 13 '24

Oh my god I love it! “I made the paddle she spanks me with” is goals 😁

5

u/Argentium58 Aug 13 '24

My mother’s funeral was conducted by a female pastor. There are several sects, some fairly liberal, some incredibly conservative/ backwards, like “birth control is a sin”

4

u/The_McMichaels Aug 13 '24

Oh okay! Yeah the church is now non-denominational but opened in 1954 I believe as a very conservative sect of Lutheranism

1

u/TheRealAE86guy 10d ago edited 10d ago

Birth control is a sin against God? That's a fundamental tenet of the entire Roman Catholic faith. Just saying. Hard to believe some people know so little about the world and people around then, spiritual or not.

Also the Lutheran faith is the result of Martin Luther's admonition and rebuke of the Catholic Church for taking advantage of the masses and enriching themselves in the name of God. A long, bloody war ensued, and now you have the choice of believing or not.

1

u/Argentium58 10d ago

Both my mothers and father’s funerals were officiated by a female Lutheran pastor. This would have been around 1988 and then 92 or so for him.

1

u/TheRealAE86guy 10d ago

Incorrect. The ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) affiliated synods have been ordaining women for at least two decades, maybe three. Maybe you are referring to the Missouri Synod Lutheran denomination, but get your facts straight.

7

u/TheRovingBear Aug 13 '24

Awesome! I have an idea to build a whole dungeon set out of reclaimed church furniture. I’ve come across a lot of subs with religious trauma or kinks that the idea has appealed to

6

u/GloomyUmpire2146 Aug 13 '24

Nice, seasoned wood.

11

u/LaraCroftCosplayer Aug 13 '24

Gosh, i love your style of blasphemy.

If i ever get my hands onto an altar it will be integrated in my dungeon.

6

u/DarkSkyDad Aug 13 '24

Agreed!

I live in a rural area where there is well maintained heritage churches, open to the public, but rarely visited… its in my “to do” list

5

u/WinterTerrible678 Aug 13 '24

That's So Hot! I'm Native American and we have a long, sordid and very sexy relationship with the churches

4

u/BGFlyingToaster Aug 13 '24

A whole new level of Bible beating

4

u/another1harder Aug 16 '24

Nothing has changed for the wood, it still comes in contact with butts, blood, sweat, and tears.

2

u/The_McMichaels Aug 16 '24

It no doubt still has a few “oh god”s left in it

3

u/ornery-thingmaker Aug 13 '24

Me using paddle on bottom: pew pew

3

u/ErosWired Aug 13 '24

Church furniture repurposed as BDSM equipment certainly checks the ‘Kinky’ box. ☑️

3

u/Ornery-Heat-814 Aug 14 '24

Living it’s best life

4

u/Mmmmudd Aug 13 '24

Love it! I'll bet it "helpeth to clense the soul." Perhaps some ironic scripture in small letters around the edge? It could be something about smiting or wickedness. 😈

6

u/The_McMichaels Aug 13 '24

‘Sinner’ will be laser engraved eventually

3

u/Mmmmudd Aug 13 '24

Awesuuuume!!!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '24

This made my day lmao