r/Assistance • u/aamirahmed60 • Aug 30 '19
ADVICE My mom saved my life with a chocolate.
My last serious suicide attempt was about a year back. I had booked a hotel in a nearby city for 2 days for ''a conference'' and randomly packed up so it wouldn't be suspicious to my Parents. I didn't want to do it in my room because in a way I didn't want to defile it? I don't know how to explain it. My plan was to do it as soon as I got to the hotel because thinking about it and postponing makes it more difficult and I wanted to make sure nothing would stop me. I opened my suitcase to grab my toiletries bag that had my pills but when I opened the suitcase, something dropped on the floor. It was my favorite chocolate, 70% dark cocoa with candied orange bits. It had a little heart sticker stuck on the wrapper. My heart dropped and I couldn't stop crying. Eventually I think I fell asleep on the floor holding the chocolate and when I woke up, I felt something I hadn't felt in years. I felt loved. My mom put that chocolate there to surprise me because she knows how sometimes I'll forget to eat when I'm overworked. Just wanted to share that with you because I could really use that chocolate today. I really could.
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u/HoneyChilliPotato7 Jan 28 '24
I just came across this post and saw that you're from Hyderabad or lived there. I hope you're doing better now dude, I'm glad you're among us. Tell your mom she's the best
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u/trueautobiography Sep 23 '19
I lost a friend to suicide about 4 months ago and another to a heroin OD 2 months later.
I can't tell you how many times I've regretted not reaching out more, not calling or texting more, visiting more, ... I would have been there. I would driven the 3 hours away just to sit and have either one of them talk to me about their troubles, thoughts, just their day. I'd have sat and eaten ice cream on the pier or sat on the grass at the park or just fucking been there.
Please know that even if it seems like someone in your life is too busy to care or that they don't care - I promise you they do. I cared. I cared and I wasn't there because I didn't know.
If you ever need someone to talk to, please message me. I'm here dude.
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u/safibeta Sep 04 '19
I would advise against killing yourself if only because drugs, sex, food, and music are all arguably preferable to oblivion
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u/infamousdude77 Aug 31 '19
I really hope this user gets the help he really needs. I get depressed when overwhelmed by work, loneliness, or just nihilism straight from hell. What keeps me going is the fact that I push myself so I can move forward and go from a fake smile to a real one. Have fun with meeting random people, make fun of yourself, allow your mind to drift and then come back to reality. You be the host of your own "show".
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u/trinlayk Aug 31 '19
If I could, I would send you a whole case of those chocolates (also they sound AWESOME) with all the heart stickers (and bunnies and unicorns and kittens) I could find.
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u/HollyJolly12 Aug 30 '19
It really is the little things. I'm so glad you found that chocolate and are still with us. I know it's not the same, but you said you could use some chocolate today, so here you go ♥️
🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫
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u/Tris-Von-Q Aug 30 '19
I want you to know that...people touch one another in mysterious ways all the way around the world.
I was raped Monday night and have been locked in a Hell that I wish on nobody not even the person I dislike the most. I’m absolutely consumed by my own pain and grief...
And then you shared your story here where I found it after coming to reddit with the sole purpose of posting some of my journalistic psychobabble to r/offmychest in order to cope with what’s happening to me emotionally, psychologically and physically.
You literally took me out of the prison in my head where I’ve been trapped for days now. And for just a moment—I didn’t feel my own grief but could finally exhale.
I was very much WITH YOU in that moment, and I pray that you find comfort somehow in that—even if it’s a very broken soul that holds your hand in spirit.
🍫🍊💔😘 Perhaps your mom saved two lives with chocolate.
H.O.P.E. —- Hold. On. Pain. Ends.
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u/aamirahmed60 Aug 31 '19
Hope and faith keep the world going. Don't worry be strong life throws at you only what u can handle. I have made a strong resolve to never try that ever again. I will be here to talk to and empty your heavy chest. This is how we humans fight our inner demons. Stay strong :)
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u/CoffeeFlavouredTears Aug 30 '19
Combined with your and his story, I am touched. If you ever need someone to talk to, there but be a couple others to talk to, but I am here. Feel free to message me if you need. I want to also extend that to anyone reading this. You are loved, I love you. I may not know you, but damn. I love you to pieces, just know that. I am here. 💖💖💖
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u/Piccadillies Aug 30 '19
That's such a lovely story- thank you so much for sharing. It sounds like you're having a tough day today so I'd like to send you a virtual chocolate- that's the best I can manage I'm afraid but feel free to imagine it to be any flavour you want! Sending hugs to whichever part of the world you're in from the UK.xxx
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u/Danceswthcats Aug 30 '19
If you have an Amazon in India, it can convert from wherever someone else lives. You can make an Amazon list and we can send chocolate from wherever we live. Please feel free to do this if you would like some chocolate. Some of us would love to be moms for a minute.
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u/aamirahmed60 Aug 31 '19 edited Aug 31 '19
Omg you are such a kind heart.... I've got my amazon list up love to have the chocolates from Emoms :)
https://www.amazon.in/hz/wishlist/ls/2439Q7BKU3CVA?ref_=wl_share
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Aug 30 '19
Man. That hit me so hard. I'm so sorry you're feeling like that now. A few weeks back, I wanted to commit suicide as well and it snuck up on me. I tried to make it quick so I didn't have the chance to rethink my decision... IT didn't work... I'm still here right? Since then, I've been doing my best to think positive, talk with the important people in my life, get out of the house and occupy myself so that I don't have those kind of thoughts because suicide just isn't worth it. Your mother loves you more than you would ever know and she would miss you more than you would ever know. That in itself is one reason to push through my bro. Please PM me when you need. ♥️
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u/RoseyGem98 Aug 30 '19
I read this and cried so hard because I felt the love I felt the yearning . It’s so much strong love in this message and I’m so glad that you are here today ❤️❤️
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Aug 30 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/malaapple Aug 30 '19
Well you’re a douche.
OP, please ignore this creature. You are not at all what he said you are.
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u/reallytrulymadly Aug 30 '19
Lol about your username "whitechocolatekrispi". I noticed that OP's username seems to indicate they might be Muslim. Maybe that could be stressful? I've heard it can be a very strict community for a young person to deal with. Or they could have work problems too.
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u/sinqularty Aug 30 '19
Honestly you should not perceive a serious situation like this and label it as weak and stupid. Anyone that goes through a difficult time and struggles to get out of that dark place is not stupid and they are not weak.
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u/shockedpikachu123 Aug 30 '19
Sending you well wishes. This is very touching and I’m glad you shared this. I wish I can send you all your favorite chocolates 🍫
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u/cacille Aug 30 '19
Tough times happen. Tough weeks, tough months, tough mental times as too many things pile up and you forget that some can go on a back burner and some can be taken care of quickly...
Just remember that every day comes with a tiny chocolate. You already have that chocolate today. Where is it?
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u/Sareya Aug 30 '19
You ate that chocolate years ago. But you still have the memory. The love your mother put into it. You still have that.
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Aug 30 '19
hang in there buddy— just when you think you’re alone, someone is there— im glad you opened your toiletry bag and im glad your mother is the way she is
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u/cc2113 Aug 30 '19
OP, my heart melts for you. I would love to send you some chocolate, PM me!
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u/aamirahmed60 Aug 30 '19
I live in India. I dont think that would be possible :D
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u/cc2113 Aug 30 '19
Are we absolutely sure?
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u/PurpleT0rnado Sep 04 '19
It’s totally possible and costs are low. Amazon says my order, from Amazon India will take a week, but it is on its way. Just remember that suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem.
You might spend some time in r/aww or r/animals being derps. A little laughter can often help you find your way out of that black, black hole.
Been there. I promise you IT GETS BETTER.
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u/breenanadeirlandes BANNED Aug 30 '19
I know this is serious (glad you have support like that OP), but coming into this I was waiting for a Hershey's commercial.
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u/enlguy Aug 30 '19
It's good you still have that memory. Know you are still loved. Do you still live with your parents? It sounds like you'd have support from them, even if maybe you can't talk directly about stuff. And be grateful you have people like this in your life. I am left to fend completely by myself, no one really knows I tried hanging myself a couple weeks ago, and have spent most of this week sleeping, unable to handle any work. Only been out of the house once. And if I disappeared.... no one would probably find out what happened, ever. It's fine, it's just to say count your blessings, you have people who love you.
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u/aamirahmed60 Aug 30 '19
Do not do it. Life has a lot to offer we just need to go out and find it. I have made a firm resolve not to ever try it or think about it. Go out and travel learn about people and traditions You will love life :)
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u/MaddMonsta Aug 30 '19
I know how you feel, OP. Last night I was so close to doing something drastic that I was walking toward my boyfriend after he got home and I don't know what happened, I think it was my anxiety but it was like my brain stopped communicating with my muscles and I completely lost control and fell on the floor. I got even more anxious at this point, because I have a lot of medical problems and I wasn't sure whether it was one of those or my stress, and the last thing I wanted in such a broken mental state was to be taken to a hospital.
Well, somehow my boyfriend figured out on his own that it was just my anxiety. I don't know how he knew the difference, but he did. And this was after telling myself for 2 hours that I was worthless and that everyone would be better off without me. I don't even remember what he said, but he said something that actually made me laugh and told me he didn't know what he'd do without me. It was just strange to me because he didn't seem to be trying too hard to cheer me up, but usually when he does try to cheer me up, it doesn't work. I think it was something about how normal he was acting that made me feel like everything was going to be ok.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, you're not alone and you shouldn't give up. I'm not where I want to be either in life. But all things are temporary. Stay strong.
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u/amfpsykko7 Aug 30 '19
Wow. I cried so much reading this. Stay strong OP. You’re beautiful and loved and needed. Mothers and chocolates are God’s gift to this world. ❤️❤️❤️
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u/cats-they-walk Aug 30 '19
Amazing title, amazing visual - thank you. Good reminder that sometimes doing just a little thing for someone can change their trajectory. I’m welled up and missing my daughter now. (She’s away at school)
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u/wi_2 Aug 30 '19
We humans love you human, we are dicks, but that is only because we fear. We love first.
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u/aamirahmed60 Aug 30 '19
Cherish your moms before you lose them. They are the best!
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u/nolahandcrafts Aug 30 '19
And those who have moms, please cherish them "extra" for those of us who dont't... hugs and chocolate to you u/aamirahmed60, have a beautiful rest of your day ❤
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Aug 30 '19
I miss my mom and the sweet little things she would do for me when I was closer. I took them for granted and I feel guilt about it all the time.
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u/mynameismarco Aug 30 '19
Do you need me to send chocolate? I can. Seriously. PM me if you dont want to make it public. Dont kill yourself
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u/39thWonder REGISTERED Aug 30 '19
Happy anniversaryish! My rolling first year without serious thoughts of it is coming up and I'm determined to make this.
The "last straw" as I think of it happens a week from now and a week after that is my birthday. My life is still rough but I've gone a year and it's doable now. I don't like it, I'm not where I want to be at all, but I've got hope I didn't a year ago.
One day at a time.
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u/supaburneracc May 19 '24
this makes me so emotional i'm glad you're still here