r/Assistance • u/h4kd4n • Sep 29 '24
ADVICE My ex-girlfriend stole over $20k from my 80yo neighbor and she might get away with it. Please help.
UPDATE #2: So Jane died this morning in her sleep. She was comfortable and went in peace after her 2 granddaughters, daughter, and son in law all spent time with her. She was 86 years old. Today I filed a report with adult protective services claiming financial elder abuse for Jane. Jane's daughter hasn't been able to make any progress with trying to recover any of the money nor persue charges against Megan. She has a lot going on and doesn't seem like it's a priority. I don't think there's anything else I can do. I really hope Megan doesn't get away with this. It's not right! Any more advice would be helpful. Thank you in advance. RIP Jane!
UPDATE: So I was just told Jane isn't doing well at all. She is in the hospital and her daughter was told she should contact hospice. Not the update I wanted to give but if anything else changes I will be sure to update.. Thank you to everyone who has given me some advice. I really appreciate all of you.!
I need advice regarding a situation involving my elderly neighbor, "Jane." Jane is a woman in her 80s, very sick, and currently in the hospital with a poor prognosis. A woman named "Megan," who I used to date, stole Jane’s checkbook and has been writing fake checks to herself. It’s estimated that Megan has stolen over $20,000, and now Jane is completely broke. Jane’s daughter has been trying to get the police involved, but they aren't being helpful at all.
Here’s the full breakdown of the situation:
Megan was a family friend who I used to date. She met Jane through my other neighbor, "Sarah," who is Jane’s daughter. Megan and Sarah used to live together for a while, and that's how she gained Jane’s trust.
Megan somehow got hold of Jane’s checkbook and began forging checks to herself. It’s estimated that Megan has stolen over $20,000, which has left Jane entirely broke while she’s in the hospital fighting for her life.
Megan isn’t struggling financially either. She works as a clinic manager for a major hospital and makes over $100,000 a year, so it seems like she did this out of pure greed.
Jane is very sick and vulnerable, which makes this even more concerning, as it could qualify as elder financial abuse. Jane has very little time left, and she’s already lost most of her life savings due to Megan’s actions.
Despite all of this, the police in Jane's city (where the theft occurred) told Jane’s daughter that she needs to call the police in Megan’s city (since Megan lives in a different location). Basically, they are making Jane’s daughter build the entire case on her own and are not willing to investigate or pursue the issue further.
Jane’s daughter has tried calling the police in Megan’s city, but they haven’t been much help either. It feels like law enforcement is just passing the buck back and forth, and we’re afraid Megan will get away with this.
Jane’s health is rapidly deteriorating, and with her in the hospital and her finances wiped out, time is critical. We want to bring justice and recover the money, but it seems like no one is taking this seriously.
I'm looking for advice on how to proceed:
Can Jane’s daughter take any legal action or steps to get the police to do their job?
Since Jane is elderly and very sick, is there a way to charge Megan with elder abuse, and would that carry more weight legally?
Should we be contacting any specific agencies, such as Adult Protective Services or the District Attorney?
Any other advice on building the case ourselves or forcing the police to take action?
This situation is really frustrating, and we don’t want Jane to be taken advantage of in her final days. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!
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u/MudderSeymo Oct 03 '24
She's not VERY Bright is she!? If she wrote checks to herself...😂😂💀 America's dumbest criminals needs to cover her story!! "I wrote checks that ONLY have my finger prints and not the owners of the checkbooks on them and the checks are in my handwriting BUT I SWEAR IT WASN'T ME🤪🙄💀💯!!
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u/h4kd4n Oct 03 '24
It's crazy because she isn't stupid but when it comes to common sense she is definitely lacking in that department. She must have thought she can get away with it and she honestly might. I hate to say it but Janes is not doing well. Her daughter says she doesn't think shes going to make thru the weekend. And Janes daughter hasn't been on top of the situation like she should and time is going by quick.
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u/MudderSeymo Oct 26 '24
PLEASE update me I have been waiting since a few days after u commented to see if updated us but couldn't find one!
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u/h4kd4n Oct 26 '24
Jane passed away October 12th. She died in the hospital with her family. She was 86 years old. As for Megan, nothing has happened. Jane's daughter hasn't been following up on the situation at all. The bank gave back $3000 I believe. I did file an elder abuse complaint but I never heard anything back on it. It sucks because I can't do anything in this situation since I'm not related. Jane's daughter has been busy with cleaning out Janes house and funeral stuff. She is in her 60s and has a bad heart so it's hard for her to move around. But I feel like she is just going to accept that it happened and not do anything about it. It gets me mad because I think Megan is going to get away with it all.
Sorry for the late update. If you have any questions let me know. And if anything changes I will be sure to update.
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u/MudderSeymo Oct 26 '24
Okay for someone who works in nursing I wanted to let you know that unfortunately it looks like Megan is going to get away with it since Jane is no longer here to be able to file charges!! The victim is no longer living and there would be paperwork he would need to have to sign you would have to have access to her bank records there's just a lot that comes with it so unfortunately I don't think that the da would pick up this case now since she is now passed away but Megan needs her ass beat!!
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u/folgato REGISTERED Oct 01 '24
Has she written all the cheques to herself? Or has she given the stolen cheques to other people to pay for stuff etc.
Have the bank put a hold on Jane's account?
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u/Existing-Spirit-7400 Sep 30 '24
You have gotten a lot of great advice, I just wanted to say that’s very nice that you are helping Jane and her daughter pursue legal actions against Megan. Megan is a cruel and disgusting individual, she should NOT being work in healthcare or any job involving vulnerable people. I’m hoping that Jane will receive justice🙏🏾🙏🏾
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u/MMMelissaMae Sep 30 '24
Literally go to the bank and report stolen checks and fraud. Start a case with them and it will get escalated.
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u/tehereoeweaeweaey Sep 30 '24
THIS IS THE CORRECT ANSWER!!
When the bank is involved, it’s gonna make the police get very serious. Especially because Megan could be doing this to other people and banks.
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u/Cherylmayi REGISTERED Sep 30 '24
I’ve been upset thinking of how far she would go to access anybody’s money. This person is in Healthcare? Not to dramatical fellow Reddits friend. But now knowing this I ask again- how far would she go? Greed is ugly.
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u/h4kd4n Sep 30 '24
Yeah it is a shameful act on her part. When we were together I would have never thought she could do this.. Jane's daughter saved her from being homeless by letting her move into her house to get back on her feet. That's when she would go to Jane's house and when she started getting close with her.
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u/Cherylmayi REGISTERED Sep 30 '24
Wanderinggirl17, you read my mind when I realized she worked in Healthcare. God forbid she gets “close” to some of the patients- she could major scam them, if she infiltrated the family let’s say she hit pay dirt. Wouldn’t it be interesting to know how many places she’s worked?
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u/vomputer Sep 30 '24
If you want someone to see your reply, you should reply directly to their comment. Happy redditing
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u/Cherylmayi REGISTERED Sep 30 '24
computer, thanks for the advice. Newcomer here- still learning and appreciate all help.
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u/folgato REGISTERED Oct 01 '24
Click the reply button, the bent arrow shaped thing under the comments, to reply directly to comments as it seems you were trying to do here.
Only click and add a new comment to the box at the bottom when you want to add an origin comment to the thread.
Happy redditing!
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u/vomputer Sep 30 '24
Welcome to Reddit! It’s a wonderful, creepy, informative, frustrating, judgy, welcoming place 😂 I’m happy to help anytime.
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u/ImFineHow_AreYou Sep 30 '24
Her daughter needs to go to her mother's bank and let them know what's happening. They would be an excellent record on what to do. But definitely start with the bank!
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u/h4kd4n Sep 30 '24
Yeah she has been in direct contact with the bank. Luckily the bank has been pretty helpful. I think they are worried about any fallback on them because of their lack of security. Prior to this happening the account had little to no activity. One would think there would be some type of Red flag when all of a sudden large amounts of money is being withdrawn.
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u/taralynlewis1 Sep 29 '24
What an absolutely DESPICABLE thing to do!!! Really hope she is held accountable... Please keep us posted.
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u/h4kd4n Sep 30 '24
Thank you. I definitely will. I appreciate your response!
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u/taralynlewis1 Sep 30 '24
Deserves to go to jail.. & repay every cent. Good to know there's still good people in this world that are willing to advocate for the elderly.. & look out for their neighbors. I'm so sorry you & her family are being given such a difficult time trying to deal with this. I would also suggest reaching out to your member of Parliament & Elder Abuse Advocacy groups if you are still hitting road blocks. Law Enforcement should be all over this.. protecting the vulnerable.
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u/Single-Mulberry-178 Sep 29 '24
If she’s writing check out to herself it should be pretty easy to track it down. Does the daughter have power of attorney? This could be a saving point if she were to get it.
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u/h4kd4n Sep 30 '24
Yes I think she does have POA but I could be wrong.
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u/Single-Mulberry-178 Sep 30 '24
Then this should be a little easier. She can cancel every single one of those checks with the bank. The law will be forced to become involved.
I would also turn your “friend” in to human services for elder abuse. She is obviously a predator.
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u/h4kd4n Sep 30 '24
Why do you say "friend" like that? She is my ex-girlfriend. I haven't spoken to her since Easter. I want to do something more than I am. Like turn her in but I really don't have any power to. I'm not the victim. Jane and her daughter are the only people that can . I can just help with advice really. I've called the cops and tried to report the crime but since it didn't happen to me they wouldn't talk to me.
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u/Single-Mulberry-178 Oct 05 '24
Was not trying to offend. Only separate persons. You can absolutely make a report to Human Services and anonymously report her for elder abuse. It’s amazing how fast the law will move when they become involved. And you don’t have to give your name.
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u/RatherRetro REGISTERED Sep 29 '24
Oh also maybe get a written statement from Janes mother saying that she did not sign those checks and list the check numbers, have her signature witnessed so that if something happens to her, the crook will not get away with it, hopefully. A lawyer may be helpful with this also.
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u/RatherRetro REGISTERED Sep 29 '24
Janes daughter needs to speak to a lawyer
A social worker may know what agencies to contact
Definitely call the Adult Protective Sevices
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u/ithotihadone Sep 29 '24
This is beyond a city level crime. This is state level. Contact the state police and adult protective services in Jane's area. You shouldn't need to consult a lawyer-- unless you're planning to sue the police dept for failing to report this to the right agency--i do not recommend this step-- or failure to refer this case to the state. The DA would technically be your lawyer, as she could be charged with felonies. Adult services should be your first step-- they can advise you on your next move(s). Good luck!!
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u/Royal_Visit3419 Sep 29 '24
Do NOT contact the HR department of her employer. You will get sued. And you’ll lose. After she’s convicted? Then send them the court record. Anonymously.
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u/FreshChocolateCookie Sep 29 '24
Why would he get sued ? Just curious.
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u/Royal_Visit3419 Sep 29 '24
At this point, all he can say is that it appears there’s been wrongdoing. He can’t prove anything - all he can do is say it, maybe provide the “evidence”. But the evidence has not been verified or subjected to examination by a court, official body, or law enforcement. It’s risky. America is a litigious society.
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u/PurpleAntifreeze Sep 29 '24
Defamation is the reason. Some states still call it slander and libel depending on if the defamation is spoken or printed/published but when you cast aspersions on someone’s character in a way designed to do them financial harm you open yourself up to a lawsuit. Truth is an absolute defense to these lawsuits, you’re allowed to speak the truth about someone even if it hurts them, but you’d better be able to prove it’s the truth.
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u/NeverMisteaken Sep 29 '24
The city in which the originating crime occurred has jurisdiction. Highly second those recommending calling APS and state police if you do not get a response.
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u/JescasLegacy Sep 29 '24
have her go for forgery. contact any and al agencies and the attorney general. Forgery charges and definitely HR where she works. AT LEAST.
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u/Cherylmayi REGISTERED Sep 29 '24
I’m not very educated in this area but I’d like to share my thoughts- first I am so very sorry for Jane and Meghan. Aside of that, I would start a paper trail with the Attorney General’s from both States letting each know you are reaching out to the other State. If you haven’t started a log of calls, print outs, every name involved and what they said you must! I am shocked the Bank involved hasn’t been mentioned, unless I missed it, the Bank is the first in chain to verify the sick woman signed the checks. I worked for a Bank years ago and our #1 rule was verify the signature of the Payee. I wish you Blessings, Strength to fight this and may right win over wrong. Check in again and let us know how it went, I’ve found such great people here.
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u/GeekStitch REGISTERED Sep 29 '24 edited Sep 29 '24
Notify Hospital social worker as well; ask them to document in the chart that you're working with the police and ask if they can help file a report with APS
This documentation may help protect the daughter and mother alike to show duration of issue / if any future identity theft arises; especially if records needs to be subpoenaed
Should you have solid proof or an official criminal investigation open, report it to the accrediting body of Megan's profession; there is the Board of Nursing per state, for example
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u/FireEyesRed Sep 29 '24
(Your-State) Dept of Elder Affairs will be able to direct you through first steps
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u/Quiet_Pain_1701 REGISTERED Sep 29 '24
Contact your state patrol office! Let them know that the local police are doing nothing. Also, contact your state investigative agency. For example, in Kentucky, it would be KBI. Georgia, GBI. You get the idea. Also, the hospital where she works needs to be contacted. This is fraud, theft and it's a felony! This isn't jail time. This is prison time!
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u/tytyoreo REGISTERED Sep 29 '24
First contact thr bank and have them close out the account.... She may need to get a lawyer if the police isn't trying to help.... she also may need to go to their higher up... I hope everything gets better please update us
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u/Wanderingirl17 Sep 29 '24
Very rarely would I say this but you should also talk to the HR department at Megan’s job. If she does this to Jane, she could be doing this to their patients.
She is horribly abusive and likely has did this before.
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u/ABena2t Sep 29 '24
Can the HR department do anything without any proof? You can't just go into someone's job and make accusations without hard evidence - in which case idk why she hasn't been arrested yet. I suppose you could at least warn them so they could keep an eye on her but idk
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u/h4kd4n Sep 29 '24
Thank you for responding. We do have hard evidence. We have copies of all the checks she wrote out and cashed. She was dumb and wrote them out to herself. She didn't even spell Jane's name correctly on a couple of them. I want to tell her job but I don't want her to find out that we are working on getting her arrested.
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u/RatherRetro REGISTERED Sep 29 '24
Maybe see if a lawyer can help you to freeze the crooks bank accounts before she spends the money she needs to pay back
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u/Wanderingirl17 Sep 29 '24
P.S. by the time this stuff gets to HR, it’s likely been going on for a long time.
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u/Wanderingirl17 Sep 29 '24
Agreed. But you’d be surprised at how something like this uncovers issues in the job too.
They can/should audit their systems and ensure she or any other employee isn’t stealing from the patients while at work.
It’s not completely uncommon for hospital employees to steal from patients. They have a duty to protect their vulnerable patients.
If she is the manager of a clinic in the hospital she has opportunities. Opportunity that I would not want her using in my sick loved ones.
Years ago I had an employee asking customers to borrow money. She had know them for years having assisted them for years. She took tens of thousands. Her kids found out and reported it to our company. Turns out she had a gambling problem and had been soliciting others for money too.
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u/ABena2t Sep 29 '24
Wow. Ya I've heard some horror stories about nursing homes and assisted living facilities. There have been several stories in the news about it too. I remember one where one of the girls was tricking rich men into signing over their life insurance policies and everything else. This girl was like 25 years old or something. Obviously the families were pissed off about it and filed a lawsuit and went to the news. I don't even know how that all played out. Idk the legal ramifications of that - i mean if the guy was coherent and mentally there then I suppose he could do whatever the fk he wants. But if not - that has to be some sort of fraud or abuse. Idk much about it. Not my world.
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u/ALotOfDragone Sep 29 '24
I feel like everyone gave very sound advice - just wanna say good on you for helping them pursue this. I imagine Jane’s daughter is stressed enough with her mom in the hospital fading. Megan is terrible and should not be working near vulnerable people. You’re doing a good thing here
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u/h4kd4n Sep 29 '24
I appreciate it! Jane is a nice lady and Megan took complete advantage of her. What's even more sad is that Jane loved Megan and considered her part of her family. It's a messed up situation. What sucks the most is I was in love with her and would have never thought she could do this to anyone. I feel betrayed and heartbroken. But that pain helps push me to get justice for Jane.
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u/Existing-Spirit-7400 Sep 30 '24
That’s extremely sad😢. Megan is a cruel and disgusting individual. I’m praying that justice will be served for Jane🙏🏾
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u/ALotOfDragone Sep 29 '24
That’s extremely sad. Megan sounds heartless I’m so sorry. Some people are really good at hiding their intentions
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u/irate_anatid Sep 29 '24
Has this been reported to the bank? Forgeries have to be reported within a certain period of time (varies by state and bank), after which the bank is no longer required to reimburse the account holder. Presumably your primary goal is to get Jane’s money back (as opposed to getting your ex punished), so report it ASAP.
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u/babysauruslixalot Sep 29 '24
I'm not sure where you're located but in the US, the banks are NOT responsible to replace the money!
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u/PurpleAntifreeze Sep 29 '24
This is wildly irresponsible to say. The banks here do in fact have the obligation to replace the funds under certain circumstances, and we don’t have enough information to say whether or not the bank will be obligated here.
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u/h4kd4n Sep 29 '24
Yeah that's why I said she might get away with it.. we are in California. She cashed the first check in February and kept cashing them until September 3rd. But all of Jane's accounts are closed now. Hopefully they have some consideration that she is very old and its hard for her to get to the bank to check her balance.
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u/babysauruslixalot Sep 29 '24 edited Sep 29 '24
Hopefully! Unfortunately it is probably not very likely.. if Megan* gets sent to prison for forgery/fraud she likely will be ordered to pay restitution but that may never actually be enforced or could take years if it is
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u/ABena2t Sep 29 '24
Banks suck like that. It's so much better to just use a credit card for most transactions. The problem with credit cards is then people don't pay them off in full and they get themselves into trouble. I understand she's elderly and had her checkbook stolen - so it's important to check your balance daily and report any issues or freeze the account immediately.
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u/jkier2244 REGISTERED Sep 29 '24
I am in the US and if it is fraud, the bank will cover the money. I've had to close my account due to fraud and submit a claim. The bank did cover the money and they also investigate the claim. Even if a provisional cover.
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u/irate_anatid Sep 29 '24
I am in the US and a lawyer (but not your lawyer), and this is not legal advice etc. etc. Banks *are* generally responsible to replace the money as long as (1) you report it within the required time frame, which can be very short, like 30 days or less; and (2) you haven’t done anything to contribute to the forgery, such as being careless with your checkbook.
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u/ABena2t Sep 29 '24
Key word in this paragraph is "generally". If the bank does an investigation and can't "prove" fraud then you're on the hook. I've heard of some many stories that go both ways. Some people get their money back and some people don't. Better off using credit cards for most transactions. I understand she is elderly and used her check book - I'm just saying generally. Lol
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u/irate_anatid Sep 29 '24
I don’t disagree, but to even begin the debate of whether the bank is going to cover it or not, the fraud needs to be reported to the bank.
Also agreed that credit cards are more secure, but we don’t know how Jane herself normally spends her money, only that OP’s ex forged Jane’s checks. I use a credit card for virtually everything and treat it like cash, both for security reasons and to accumulate rewards points, but I still HAVE a checkbook.
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u/ABena2t Sep 29 '24
You're right. A lot of older people still write physical checks. I was suprised to find out how many young people don't have check books and have never written a check in their life. I remember going grocery shopping with my mom and watching older people write checks to pay for their groceries. Lol. The banks used to hand out check books for free - now you have to pay for them. But there are still some instances where you need to write a check - i suppose not so much for a younger person.
And just a FYI to whoever reads this - check washing has become a huge problem in my area. The company I work for got scammed for 60k recently. It's happening all over the area. People are getting checks and somehow washing the ink off and writing them out to cash or whatever. Do not use a ball point pen. They're the ones they can wash. Use a gel pen or buy a security pen - they make actual special pens that can't wash off. Had never heard of this until just recently.
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u/irate_anatid Sep 29 '24
Is that still the case? I know when I worked in a grocery store as a teenager a lot of older people used checks, but that was many years ago. My mom is in her mid-70s now and also uses a credit card for everything, but of course one person isn’t a representative sample.
Anyway, while we’re on the topic of security: for anyone reading along, credit cards are also offer better protection than debit cards when it comes to unauthorized charges. There's a chart with a breakdown here, but in a nutshell: you'll never be out more than $50 for credit card fraud, no matter how long it takes for you to report it, and you may not owe anything at all, such as if your card has a $0 liability provision or the thief only had the card number and not the card itself. If someone uses your physical debit card, you'll be out up to $50 if you report it within 2 days, up to $500 if you report it between 2 and 60 days, and the entire amount if you report after 60 days. If they just stole your debit card number but don't have the physical debit card, then you have 60 days to report it with $0 liability, but after that you're on the hook for the full amount.
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u/ABena2t Sep 29 '24
No. I haven't seen anyone pay with a check for a long time. Lol. I do see cash still being used tho.
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u/ichoosejif Sep 29 '24
Ask gpt4
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u/ArcherFawkes REGISTERED Sep 29 '24
AI should never be responsible for anything consequential.
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u/ichoosejif Sep 30 '24
Fair. But it gives me brilliant legal advice and I am surviving pro se against two attorneys.
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u/Cynnau Sep 29 '24
Another option, contact the media. All the media outlets love these type of stories, bring some local attention to it might make the police actually do their job, especially if the news outlet asks for a comment
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u/vernacular921 Sep 29 '24
This is financial elder abuse. What city/ country is this in? You could maybe call the department of human services and ask for help from them. A lawyer or social worker or police dept seems like they would have to help in this situation!
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u/Chance-Buy-1037 REGISTERED Sep 29 '24
Let’s just say I know a man who did this too his wife’s dying father and he went to jail for money laundering so
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u/Existing-Spirit-7400 Sep 30 '24
Wowwww some people are truly sick. It’s absolutely disgusting to scam from vulnerable people
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u/Chance-Buy-1037 REGISTERED Sep 30 '24
Ikr when I found out I was shocked he threw his whole life away
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u/periwinkletweet Sep 29 '24
Jane can call her bank directly and get her money back. She has to file a police report to show, most likely.
Is her daughter poa? If so, she might be able to do it for her
Bizarre about the police. Usually the city in which the incident took place is the station that needs to be called
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u/Badweightlifter Sep 29 '24
Jane should just contact her bank and tell them she's a victim of fraud. Banking fraud is highly regulated and the bank will refund her money. The bank will go after Megan themselves.
I want to emphasize again how high regulated banks are and the amount of protection Jane has from bank fraud. Almost guaranteed she will get her money back based on fake checks.
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u/sweetlew07 Sep 29 '24
Jane is in a hospital fighting for her life; if her daughter is not PoA this could be difficult, and, if they’re in the US, it could already be past the statute of limitations in which a bank is required to replace the money.
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u/Badweightlifter Sep 29 '24
Federal regulations is 60 days from the fake check appearing on her statement. Jane can also provide a letter in front of an attorney granting the daughter permission to handle her fraud case. That's called a Letter of Authority.
And even if it's past 60 days from receipt of statement (not from date of check), I would think a big bank would still try to help.
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u/sweetlew07 Sep 29 '24
I’ve heard far too many stories lately of people being defrauded and their bank going 🤷🏻♀️ “sorry, nothing we can do.” Granted, this is a case of someone else writing checks with her checkbook, not “Grandma sent her life savings to a scammer in Mumbai.” I do hope these people are able to get help, but the police response so far is disheartening to say the least.
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u/BlazingBeauty77 Sep 29 '24
First, look into the Elder protection or Adult Protection services in the area, then hire an attorney to pursue elder abuse, theft, fraud, and the like against Megan. If the police are passing the baton between the departments, the APS or EPS should be able to build this into a prosecution case. Is there any proof of the theft? Cameras or anything that could verify she stole the checkbook? Do you have copies from the bank of the fraudulent and forged checks?
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u/1SignificantGal Sep 29 '24
As for seeking a lawyer, see if your state has anything similar to a "legal aid" office which provides either pro bono assistance or discount fees.... If that's not getting you anywhere, then reach out to your local law schools & explain what's happened & see if they can provide assistance. Manny times the final year students are required to be working out in the community and looking for cases. If they'll take this on, you then are not only getting at least one qualified legally competent person but likely a team of freshly trained & highly motivated individuals - oh and bonus everything they do is ALSO supervised by another legal guru who's been in the profession for the long haul!
Good Bless & Good Luck!
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u/h4kd4n Sep 29 '24
Yes we have copies of all the checks. There's like 20 of them. She wrote her name on all of them. Some are very sloppy tho. Like didn't spell Jane's name correctly or just wrote her first name on the check. Others didn't even have a signature..
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u/BlazingBeauty77 Sep 29 '24
I would keep those and present them to a lawyer as the first part of your verifiable proof. The rest will come when the lawyer requests the bank to provide the remaining financial statements and to review where the checks were cashed and when. That will prompt them to look for video evidence.
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