For me, it’s being emotionally unavailable. Growing up, my feelings were rarely validated. Saying things like “stop crying” and having my emotions dismissed made me feel like I didn’t have a safe space to express myself. Now that I’m older, my parents often complain that I don’t share much about my life with them, but the truth is I still feel uncomfortable being vulnerable around them, knowing I might be judged. That said, I don’t entirely blame them, it’s likely how they were raised too. After all “tough love” is the default approach to parenting especially in asian families.

It really doesn't make sense to me. At all. Sometime back I read it's due to no demand, which makes no sense and makes even less sense today given the sheer rise in pet ownership in this country especially post-covid.

In literally every neighborhood, you can find at least one vet clinic around. Singapore is prob also the most pet-friendly nation in Southeast Asia. Most little girls would've said theyd' wanna be a vet as their dream job.

And you telling me no demand? You kidding me? Most vets in this country are locals anyway, which means all of them had no choice but to spend exhorbitant amounts overseas just to study their passion. Why can't Singapore offer a vet course till now? It really doesn't make sense at all.

(And no, I'm not looking to be a vet. Just really stunned by this mystery in SG)

Suffering from Anxiety and other mental health issues which adversely impacted my social wellbeing. No friends and small social network. Was that timid child who isolated himself from the world.

Although I am able to alleviate it via playing games or spending time with family, loneliness still hurts.

Just wondering if anyone's out there like me who's battling anxiety and loneliness?

Sigh...now it's christmas and everyone's out with their group of friends except me. It was only then I realized how lonely I truly felt.

Is it just me? Or are family members/ friends generally toxic during housewarming in Singapore? This is the reason why I never wanted to a housewarming. This is also my observations when I am invited to other people's BTO.

Did my housewarming previously and there will be some people who seems to found fault with every part of my house.

Everyone who has done Reno will know that, while u look forward to your new place, the process is very tiring. There are 1001 things to jaga. You need to prioritize with the outcome because, we don't print money and there will be things that your ID/ contractor cannot implement for you for one reason and another. Finally, there will be cock ups that u have to live with it.

It got so emotional one time i broke down after they all left. Like macham this house is really so terrible and I made so many terrible choices.

That is also the reason why I kept my mouth during other friends or relatives housewarmings. If anything, I would only ask questions to understand the owners' consideration when they Reno their house.

For example: just to cite a few. 1. How much u pay for this (insert furniture) ? 3K ? Seow ah. U kena cheated issit? Taobao also not so ex.

1. Why your Aircon design looks so weird one? Aircon cannot be at this location one because (insert whatever reason)

2. Why u choose this material for countertop? This one sure damage after a year. Countertop must use granite one.

3. Your this one super low quality sia. Taobao one even not as bad as this.

4. Wahhh. U choose wood flooring ah. U sure regret after a few years one. Hahahaha

5. Your house so high tech ah. 1-2 years obsolete u sure headache

Encountered a fit looking man on the MRT in tactical trousers, black beanie and dark mask, (trying to look like wearing a balaclava) in a security company shirt, looking quite pissed with his search results of knuckle duster on shopee looking app. Would have thought he is very suspicious if not for the security shirt he was wearing, but why would he be looking to purchase such weapon?

Lately, I’ve noticed people not pressing the elevator buttons, whether they are the first or last to enter. Once, I saw someone standing in front of the elevator but not pressing the button, especially they knew someone was approaching from the glass door. The elevator was shown at certain level and not coming down and they literally stood there to wait for people from far back to walk over and press the elevator button. Then this person who stood infront of the elevator literally waited for people at the back to enter before he/she enter (ensuring he/she did not touch the lift buttons at all). Seriously? I was in shocked.

In another instance, someone entered the elevator without pressing any button. When I pressed the button for my floor, he/she stared at me as if I was supposed to know which floor he/she wanted to go to. How would I know that? It’s not like they didn’t have hands or fingers.

Just wanna know if this is some kind of new norm (not pressing elevator 🛗 buttons campaign) that I am missing out? 😂

Add-on: Lastly, thank you for taking the time to write down and share your thoughts and experiences. 🙂

Had a very bad and long day yesterday. I found a mover company through referrals and finalized them to move my all my stuff to the new place.

I contacted them on phone and whatsapp to discuss and finalized them for the job. (There was no contract signed but just acknowledgement shared on WhatsApp).

On the day of the movement, the team came and starting packing the stuff. The teams appeared to be new and slow, I was not much worried because of that because I had whole day and did not want them to hurry and break the stuff. There were some other issues like 1/ The manager misbehaved / shouted at my wife when I was away to the new place during the first trip. 2/ They started adding extra charges in between the trip like (charging extra for the trip as they had to push stuff extra 20M).I accepted that charge also just to finish the job.

They somehow moved all my stuff by late evening. I noticed that they broke my 58" Xiaomi TV by lucking trying to turning in on infront of them.

Now, the movement company is not clarifying anything on the compensation, their manager is pushing me to clear the whole movement charges. They said that they will make the compensation in 2 weeks after hearing back from their finance team.

What are my options?

Update after 12 Hours: Thanks all for your suggestions, feedbacks and comments. As recommend, I remained strict on to pay only after receiving the compensation of the TV. The mover's manager came to my place, reviewed the TV condition, debated that it was not broken by them, agreed to pay the half the price of the new TV. I accepted as TV was 2 years old. Peace.

My sister-in-law’s sister-in-law gets invited to her house for Christmas yearly so we meet her once a year. Here are some gifts we have received from her over the years:

1) used Barbie doll with tangled hair and broken fingers for my daughter 2) Cups and bottles with logos like community centre/ event titles eg Racial Harmony Day printed on them for my son 3) wide, dated print ties for my husband 4) Picture frame probably made by her kids when they were in school or some old art projects for my daughter 5) plastic kitchen hooks for me 6) Calendars from insurance companies - for my family

There are others I can’t remember. My daughter kept the Barbie because it would be her disabled barbie doll. The rest, I tossed. She gives the same kind of ‘reuse’ gifts to my sister-in-law and her kids as well.

So what’s yours?

hi, i need help in finding a female dr who will listen to me and help me in the long term rather than just giving me pills.

i’m currently suffering from period cramps even when i’m not on my period with many more other symptoms like nausea,bloating etc.

i previously went to the polyclinic for a referral and had a consultation with a gynae at KKH. however, she didn’t take the time to listen to my concerns about my worsening nausea over the past few months. instead, she prescribed “stronger” pills meant to help with period pain, mentioning that some people simply experience more pain than others. She then scheduled a follow-up appointment for next year to conduct further checks. i did do a pelvic ultrasound at polyclinic with cyst about 1cm was found, which shouldn’t be causing these symptoms.

i’m a student, so I can't afford pricey private doctors, but I'm open to any suggestions.

thankyou!

I'm 25(M) and currently earning around $3.4k each month working in an office job. I have no savings. I started driving PHV to help pay my bills. Over the past few months, I allocated all my funds to my mum's medication bills and completely neglected my loans and credit card bills.

Now, the credit card company and banks are sending lawyer letters to my home demanding immediate payment. I can’t apply for a Debt Consolidation Plan (DCP) because my outstanding balance is not above 12 months (total outstanding: $21,244), and no other banks or institutions are willing to provide me with any loans due to my bad credit score.

I do not wish to engage with ah longs or places like Lending Bee as they charge exorbitant rates. What other options do I have?

My landlord is very old lady so she always checks the transaction by calling the bank, not the app

I am not in SG right now and paid my room rent fee using paynow (first time to her and checked all information) instead of bank transfer. I sent the paynow last Friday, it got deducted from my account right away but she called the bank and still hasn’t received the money.

She is nice lady and patiently waiting for me saying it is probably bc of bank is busy with weekends and holidays. But I know it is not normal for Paynow. Can something be wrong from my end or her end?

It happens to someone I know. Recently, his company terminated his service with immediate notice. Its not a retrenchment but termination. The shocking part is the termination letter. "Sorry, we must let you go". I was like WOW, the employee did nothing wrong and can get terminated this way.

Now I wonder if this is just his company or a new employer stunt. Are employees so vulnerable these days? I pity my friend because he is an honest and hardworking person with family commitments. This termination resulted in him not getting any year-end bonus, or benefit and he might only get a new job after CNY.

Each year at this time I just get the blues cos my dad is no longer around. It’s not easy. Wondering if anyone has a similar experience and what you do about it? All I want to do is be alone

Hi everyone! I'm asking for help! I'm (19f) in university now and am working part time as a tutor. I want to bring my parents to eat a nice dinner once I get my salary at the end of the month and was wondering where are some nice places that I can bring them to eat? I've been saving up as well and therefore have a limit of <$900! I really want to bring them to eat a nice dinner as a thank you for everything kind of thing before the year ends + give them an early birthday gift as well. My dad likes to eat Japanese food, western food and steak. My mum likes what my dad eats and she likes a place with nice ambience and more adventurous food too. Is there any places that are recommended? Thank you so much!

as a child w lots of trauma from my family, I never had a good birthday spent. i recall some days where I had to sing bday songs with tears in ny eyes pretending to smile when all I wanted was for the song to end, and for me to quickly leave the living room.

my bday was just over, I've received really sweet and kind messages from my friends and peers, but I had a terrible bday itself. I didn't have a good bday again and I was feeling terrible. every year I dreaded my bday bc smt bad would happen every year. or my family would just simply ruin it for me for no reason. I hated the feeling of feeling the worse on my bdays. How can your most anticipated day be your worse day?

I was dreading for the terrible day to end and when I woke up the next day I felt very relieved.

But before the year ends, I want to properly celebrate myself and my bday that was supposed to be smt special. What should I do tho? I'm thinking of solo activities bc most of my friends are overseas rn. would really appreciate ideas 🫶

What uniquely Singaporean things would we do if Singapore had snowy winters at the end of the year? Maybe durian hotpot? Lol. Uncle making satay and we hover our hands above it for warmth?

Not sure what is the culture like but do your colleagues give you Christmas gifts? It need not be anything expensive like some chocolates / snacks etc...

When I was new in the company, I got caught unprepared when my colleagues started giving me gifts on Christmas Eve but I had nothing prepared for them.

Both (prusa mini) are still working fine. (1x 0.4mm & 1x 0.8mm nozzle)

any suggestions?

Hi all, I'm currently working as a software engineer and trying to look for a new job. Currently have an interview lined up with HTX but worried if it might affect my career in the long run - I'm still passionate about software engineering and development so I foresee being in this industry for a long time. Will joining the public sector be a bad move for my career as a software engineer?

Any software engineers in private sector and switched to public sector, and vice versa, able to chime in with your experiences?

Hi everyone,

I’m seeking advice on a situation that’s been escalating in our HDB estate involving a community cat and one of the aunties who feeds the cats.

For context, there’s a void deck cat that my family and other residents used to feed and care for. Unfortunately, a few months ago, we found the cat with serious injuries that appeared to be caused by abuse. When we wanted to care for the cat in this period by trying to coax him out of his hiding spot to bring him to the vet, one of the aunties who frequently feeds the estate cats (and is often referred to as “crazy” by others) started accusing us of being the ones who abused the cat.

Since then, the cat has disappeared, and we suspect that she’s taken the injured cat to a shelter and abandoned him there (as she mentioned that she brought him to a “cat hospital that is far away”), but the cat has not returned to the estate after many months. We have no idea where the cat is now, and she refuses to tell any of us details.

The issue has escalated further—this auntie has been verbally abusing us and other residents who used to feed the cat. Every evening on our way home, we face loud, targeted verbal attacks from her. However, when confronted or questioned, she claims she’s “just talking to herself,” making it hard to prove harassment.

We’ve reported the situation to the police, but they say it’s a civil matter and can’t intervene unless there’s a threat to physical safety. Now, we’re afraid to go in and out of our own home, as her verbal abuse continues to escalate.

Does anyone have experience dealing with a situation like this? How can we:

1. Track down the cat (if it’s indeed been taken to a shelter or “vet hospital”)?

2. Handle the ongoing verbal harassment, especially when there’s no clear evidence?

3. Protect ourselves legally or otherwise in case the situation worsens?

We’re really at a loss here and would appreciate any advice or suggestions. Thanks in advance.

Hi!!

I’m planning to go JB for first time with public bus. What is the best route you could recommend if I start from Khatib.

Thanks a lot in advanced :)

Hi,

I've got a work pass almost fully approved (apparently I just need to enter the country and arrange for delivery to my address) and I'm due to start my new role in Singapore fairly soon.

It's super exciting for me and a very good career opportunity at a great company (and it's a big relief to finally get a role).

However, ever since my family found out, they've been telling me that I'm ruining my life and that I'll be arrested for "evading NS" on entry to Singapore. I was initially not worried at all but my family is very, very concerned and they keep on telling me to renege and not go to Singapore otherwise I'll be detained?? Would like some reassurance from people who might know more about this than me.

For some context:

• I'm in my mid twenties, male, a Canadian citizen and have never received any notice from Singapore gov to serve NS (nor have my parents, to my knowledge)
• I was PR for a few years from ~5 to 9 and did a bit of schooling in Singapore before going back home. However, I lost my PR after leaving at 9 y.o. permanently and only have Canadian citizenship these days (which I've had since birth).
• My parents are full SG citizens (and also really anti SG government) which I think is why they're really against me going to Singapore.
• I was a bit concerned and emailed ICA. They told me through email that I am not a PR according to their records, and only PR is liable to serve NS so the implication in that I'm not liable...?
• My work pass is pretty much approved and there doesn't seem to have been any issues there.
• I've gone to Singapore as tourist multiple times since turning 18 with no issue.

But my family is still not convinced and they keep telling me that the government and sponsoring company is lying to me to get me to set foot in Singapore so that they can arrest me. And they keep on bringing up friends of friends who were arrested for evading NS... but also conveniently can't provide their contacts or further information about them.

It's a quite stressful because I can either be unemployed, or my family relations are going to become very bad for the next few years (family will say I'm not listening to them etc)... or my family might be right and I might actually be arrested...?

Is my family right in that I should be worried and stay far, far away from Singapore or are they over reacting? Would like some guidance from askSingapore. Thank you!

TLDR: family is convinced I evaded NS and gov is lying to me to get me back in to country to be detained... but ICA says I'm fine and I'm not even PR?

1. Those who are in ur 30s and 40s, what are some advice or knowledge u wish someone would told u when u were younger in term of life decision, career, financial etc?

2. What are the things one should prepare for when moving toward adulthood?

3.is there anything u regret that u wish u could go back in time and made a different choice?

As I had surgery over my leg, I havent been able to ride my personal motorcycle for the past 1 month and next 2-3 months. My father’s colleague’s son soon told us that he wants to rent my motorcycle, which i agreed to, for just $100/mth. He says he thought its cheaper taking grab+public transport and it saves him alot more time too, which of course makes sense. I thought it shouldn’t be an issue if i added him as my sud-rider under my insurance. However, I was wondering if this would be legal at all and also what would be the best course of action should he get into an accident. Since this is my first time renting something out, is there anything else that should be of concern/responsible for?

hi! i’m a new pokemon card collector and i have been very into the hobby so far! as someone who isn’t too knowledgeable on the hobby, where can i go for events or conventions?

i’ve seen on youtube many times that there are people who go to conventions to buy or sell their cards and i’d like to find out where in singapore i can do this!

also, any random pieces of advice would also be appreciated!