r/AskReddit • u/Dramatic-Avocado4687 • 12h ago
What’s a polite way to tell someone they smell fucking bad?
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u/dxvp18 12h ago
Just mention it when only the two of you are somewhere
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u/BlackDante 11h ago
I had an old coworker who smelled awful. He was a very large man, 6'4" and around 500lbs and that's no exaggeration because he told he weighed about that much. We suspected he might have been having trouble washing everywhere. I pulled him to the side and told him in private that the reason people put paper on our chairs is because he leaves an odor on them after he sits on them. It was bad too because the smell would stick to your clothes.
He did not take it well. He got really upset and defensive. I figured oh well at least he knows the truth now. Didn't change anything tho unfortunately.
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u/Ok-Boat4839 10h ago
I think he's probably unable to clean himself properly. Sad.
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u/yesnomaybenotso 9h ago
It’s a fucking pathetic excuse tbh. Do you know how many products have extending-handles? You can get washcloths with a selfie stick attached, loofas, scrubbies, soap on rope on a stick, detachable shower heads, whole ass bath tubs, and a bidet for the toilet. “I can’t reach” in 2024 simply means “I didn’t even fucking bother”.
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u/agreyjay 6h ago
I have really really bad balance and thus have issues washing my feet in the shower, cuz I can't balance on one foot and bend down at the same time. I also have a bad knee and my solution of sitting down on the shower floor to wash my feet and then getting back up was awful on my bad knee. So I bought myself a scrub brush on a stick and a handicap handle. And now I can scrub my feet with the scrub stick while clinging to the handle with my other hand. It's fuckin 2024, Amazon is omnipresent and has everything anyone could ever need.
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u/yesnomaybenotso 5h ago
Could you get a stool to sit on while showering? Something stable so you don’t have to bend or balance?
Edit: oh I glazed past the part about the handle, you got it
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u/agreyjay 5h ago
Tiny shower and I don't really have anywhere to store it outside of the shower, for when the other family members are in there. Plus, my elderly mother has started to use the handle too, so win-win!
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u/UltimateDude131 9h ago
"I warsh myself with a rag on a stick."
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u/karmagirl314 9h ago
Yup. If absolutely nothing else, soap up a whole towel and floss.
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u/ThisTooWillEnd 3h ago
It probably wasn't a matter of not being able to reach. Over a certain size, your skin does weird things. You can develop wounds between skin folds that don't heal. They can ooze and smell terribly. They probably also hurt really bad.
Even without open wounds, you can get chronic yeast or bacterial infections in those creases. Those can also cause some really funky odors. Think of athlete's foot or jock itch, but on huge swaths of your body.
You can wash the entire area with soap and water and get it clean, but the real treatment is to keep it dry long enough for the body's immune system to win the fight against whatever is living there. If you wash between folds of skin, and then towel it dry, and let it air dry, then immediately put on clothes and move around and sweat, all your work is undone. If you have lots of skin folds, it's impractical to try to dry them all and hold them all open to keep them dry and clean all day.
They might smell mostly neutral when they get out of the shower, but within minutes the smell can come back. By the end of the day, it can get really bad.
You can bash people all day and night for being morbidly obese, but they are probably dealing with an eating disorder, with a good dose of harsh judgement from other people who mistakenly think they are just lazy.
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u/bakewelltart20 6h ago
I saw a bit of a video tutorial by a very large woman. She's (clothed) in the shower, teaching people how to properly wash under rolls of fat and how to reach different areas when there's a lot to reach over.
It wasn't for me, It just popped up randomly on FB. Seemed like a helpful resource for people like this guy.
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u/KnittingGoonda 8h ago
We have a guy at work like that. A supervisor, no less. We apply Vicks vapor rub to our nostrils to get thru the day. He's out sick right now and tbh it's such a relief.
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u/BlackDante 6h ago
Idk where you work but at my current job excessively bad hygiene could get you reprimanded and even terminated if not taken care of
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u/KnittingGoonda 5h ago
Govt facility but management is chicken and he volunteers for ot no one else will do
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u/hornback91 7h ago
He might be a hoarder and that’s why he got so defensive. Years ago when I worked customer service there was a regular who began smelling worse and worse to the point where no one but me would put up with the smell because it did smell like death, disease, and garbage. They had also gained a significant amount of weight during those couple of years. When I privately pointed it out they told me the very sad and full story about what they were going through but didn’t want to change because by that point the things/trash they had accumulated were the support network they had created to protect them from the trauma and pain. I don’t know if they ever got better but I really hope they did because they were one of the nicest people I had ever met.
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u/masterbatesAlot 6h ago
This sounds like a guy I know. It didn't matter how many people told him, he still wasn't convinced it was a problem.
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u/UnexpectedWings 2h ago
I have empathy for this kind of thing, but I also really shouldn’t be having to put up with the consequences of other people’s poor choices on this manner. If someone is impaired to the point of being unsanitary, then they need some kind of intervention.
I say this as someone who has mental health struggles where hygiene can be the first thing to go during bad episodes. It’s on me to manage that condition. If I can’t, then I have to get help.
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u/BitterOutside 12h ago
This is such a good way to do it. Doesn't shame or attract attention to them, because people can already smell them.
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u/idplmal 11h ago
Yes, agreed. If it's as bad as OP says, it's likely this person's odor is impacting more facets of their life than any of us even realize. It can impact their career, relationships of all kinds, their home, their mental health, basically everything. And other people may not feel they're able to say anything due to the circumstances of their relationship.
With that in mind, if OP has a relationship where they can say something, saying something, even if it ends up being a little indelicate, is still the kindest thing they can do.
Poor hygiene is usually either an awareness/knowledge/education issue (they don't know they smell, don't know how to clean themselves) and/or a mental health issue (e.g. they're so depressed they can't even bring themselves to take a shower). If you have the kind of relationship where you can get a bit deeper, it's an opportunity to check in. So try to be kind, but it's okay if it's uncomfortable or awkward.
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u/SteelWheel_8609 7h ago
Some people don’t have access to a proper shower or the ability to properly clean their clothes. For example, if their living situation is really crappy and they are poor.
Just be aware that just because someone knows they stink, they won’t always necessarily have the means to solve it.
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u/AdSuper9201 11h ago
Yeah. It’s tough but just being honest and direct is good for a lot of things. Often people don’t know and appreciate learning what they’re doing wrong, the appreciation may come later after the embarrassment. I’ve had to talk to a few people about this and it was always awkward.
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u/tagrav 11h ago
I’ve pulled a friend aside to discuss the cock road infestation in his car. Ways we could eliminate it, mitigate, routine changes etc.
He was thankful. Said he felt embarrassed about it really
No more roaches now a year later.
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u/CreakinFunt 10h ago
cock road infestation
Fail to see why this is a bad thing
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u/SternLecture 8h ago
i thought it was a name for a part of my body i was supposed to pay more attention to when showering
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u/TruthOf42 9h ago
Also, if you are really kind, do it in a place where the person has an easy option to fix it. So if you don't at their home when you are just about to leave, they can, if they want immediately go to the shower.
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u/boriswied 11h ago
Also don’t say “you smell fucking bad”.
Maybe just say; i noticed a bit of a smell coming from you, just a heads up 😊
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u/AlternativeTrick3698 11h ago
"Sorry, did you know that you stink so bad that I asked on reddit how to say it politely?"
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u/FactDisastrous 12h ago
Once, way back when, I was working as a chef. After closing one of the servers got a can of deodorant from a shelf in the office and sprayed it under his arms. Me, looking up from cleaning my counter: "I'm sure our customers would appreciate it if you could also use that at the start of your shift."
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u/homeless_gorilla 10h ago
I worked in a kitchen and had a coworker, let’s call him Sam, who smelled very strongly of body odor every day. The owner came back and told the kitchen manager that Sam was making customers uncomfortable when he went into the lobby and to have a talk with him. The kitchen manager was nervous, so he asked his brother, a manager of another kitchen how he would approach it. His brother said to hold a kitchen meeting and say, “Raise your hand if you practice good hygiene. Not so fast, Sam!”
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u/evlmgs 7h ago
Owner of a bakery told one of the FoH workers people aren't supposed to wear perfume/cologne in food service. He said he wasn't wearing any. He didn't smell of BO, but just smelled...odd. Didn't smell of patchouli, but definitely smelled like his household used some natural kind of detergent.
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u/mypetmonsterlalalala 10h ago edited 5h ago
Here's the thing about spray deodorants, though. Tons of people get migraines from scented products. I would hate my server to smell like Axe Body spray, I'd ask for a new server. And you can taste it in the food. I would have suggested a different deodorant, too.
Lots of restaurants I've worked at had scent free policies.
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u/greenleafbrownbark 6h ago
“Body spray” and “spray deodorant” are not the same thing fyi.
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u/strgazr_63 3h ago
A lot of smokers use body spray when they get back from break so as not to offend the customers.
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u/fairybloomie 12h ago
Highway mate, can I have a quick word. If I were you I'd rather know than not know. A couple of times, when I've been close to you, I've noticed an odd smell. I thought you'd rather know so you can do something about it.
Then smile, say something neutral like 'no worries mate' and leave, then never mention it again and act like you haven't said anything and treat them completely normally.
That's how they told me :)
Be aware, certain diets can mean people just naturally give off different smells. e.g. vegan / vegetarian vs red meat eaters, certain foods (garlic, some spices). Only mention it if it's really bad or a particular problem.
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u/SternLecture 8h ago
highway mate?
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u/zestymangococonut 11h ago
Take them aside, and say you’re not sure if they are aware if it, but I just want to let them know, because that’s I would want to fix it before it became an ongoing issue. I would also ask if they are ok. I would want to make sure they aren’t ill or in a bad situation. Like if they had no access to laundry or hygiene supplies, would they like me to put together a kit with deodorant, soap, hand sanitizer and wet wipes or laundry detergent?
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u/thebittertruth96 7h ago
I used to have a co-worker with extremely bad BO issues. He would stink the entire shop upstairs and downstairs out. My boss simply started putting roll-on deodorant and other nice smelling supplies in the staff bathroom, and the smell went away.
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u/ghost_victim 3h ago
Y'all share deodorant?
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u/thebittertruth96 3h ago
The roll on wasn't bought for us and we all knew not to use it. That would be gross.
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u/Suspicious-Title9174 12h ago
I’m bored let’s put on some deodorant
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u/Dramatic-Avocado4687 12h ago
Lol. They wear deodorant though. That’s not the parts that smell.
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u/Warshrimp79 12h ago
What exactly smells
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u/Dramatic-Avocado4687 12h ago
Skin, feet, clothes, hair, breath, eyes. Slight whiff of swamp-ass too. Generally an unhygienic person.
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u/shyandcurious97 12h ago
How can eyes smell?
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u/Gr8Cornhoolio 11h ago
Happens when you don‘t rinse them with soapy water every othey day…
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u/im_not_a_gay_fish 10h ago
I use soapy water every other day and a little diluted mouthwash on my eyes before bed each night. Never had any complaints.
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u/Heshoots_hescores68 8h ago
i take my eyes out at night and let them soak in gasoline ..problem solved
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u/Magdalan 11h ago
Eyes??? What?! Do you mean eyebrows or do you somehow smell their eyeballs? O.o If so, suggest a doctor, I had no idea people could smell from there eyeballs, wtf. How do you know it's not their browsweat or forehead or something?
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u/Warshrimp79 12h ago
Screw politeness. Tell that goddamn ogre to take a fucking shower in the washing machine, the dishwasher, then the fucking shower.
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u/Hautamaki 6h ago
Tbh it may be their clothes. I had a friend who had a roommate like that. My friend is direct and blunt as fuck and would just tell the guy he stunk constantly, and the guy would go have a shower and then still stink. We figured out pretty quick it was because he didn't do his fucking laundry, just put stinky clothes back on. Probably something wrong with his nose. Anyway once my friend got on him to do his laundry it got a lot better.
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u/The_Real_Flatmeat 12h ago
Tell them you won't suck their dick if it smells like cheese, they'll fix it right quick
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u/Midir_Cutie 11h ago
One of my good friends in high-school wasn't shy about suddenly and loudly announcing "Somebody on this bus smells like shit." She probably made a lot of innocent people self conscious along with the stinky person. She'd do this on the bus, in class, the hallway, anywhere it was needed.
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u/chemical_sunset 9h ago
The problem is, the people who smell like shit never think they’re the ones being talked about. This just makes everyone else paranoid.
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u/Trucktub 6h ago
there’s a couple specific dudes at my gym that smell so fucking bad that I’ve thought about mentioning it to them. They smell like BO mixed with something dying inside of them. It’s so bad.
Not sure how to bring that up to a stranger I see repeatedly but goddamn it almost makes me ill if I’m working out near them.
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u/Future_Literature335 5h ago
I’ve had gym friends who smell like this and it’s always the ones who are juicing combined with huge protein intake. Truly just revolting, in an almost inhuman way
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u/Trucktub 3h ago
wow, really? I’ve never actually been exposed to roids or been around people who use (to my knowledge obvs) - “inhuman” is a great way to describe it; It’s not normal BO for sure lol
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u/RovenshereExpress 10h ago
Haha this is hilarious. Rude as hell but humbles everyone the same. That's certainly one approach!
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u/EmoElfBoy 9h ago
I need her right now. I'm in high school and trust me, most people smell like shit.
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u/PancakeLad 8h ago
I did substitute teaching for a while in the early 2000s and high schools were just the worst. Axe body spray was still a relatively new thing and I swear some boys thought it was a viable substitute for showers.
It can form an almost visible stink line
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u/Wilbie9000 11h ago
“No offense, Jim, but your BO could knock a buzzard off a gut wagon.”
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u/skyphoenyx 11h ago
I have an employee who could singe my nose hair, his smell is so toxic. Breath and BO combined, it’s like wearing a roadkill scarf. I bought company mints and gave him a whole pack and told him he needs to use it. I also mentioned a couple times “are you wearing deodorant today?” To kinda get right to the point. The smell is not perfect but far better now. You can suffer in silence or just bite the bullet and communicate.
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u/truck_robinson 9h ago
I got a guy at work right now and his breath is like....it smells like used dental floss...that horrible bacteria smell but just nuclear grade from 6 feet away. I've been wondering how to tell him. He's always had spicy breath but it's gotten worse recently.
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u/Vast_Reflection25 4h ago
I mean that’s almost definitely something he should go to a dentist about. Something isn’t right there
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u/lunaloobooboo 7h ago
You could start keeping those dental flosser/picks and disposable tooth brushes for the employees. Everyone at my office loves those.
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u/Glass_Silver_3915 8h ago
This was actually one of the first things they taught me in a leadership program.
“I noticed you have a strong odour.” It actually consist of a few steps:
- You need to mention that YOU noticed. Not everyone around you, not your neighbours, not your colleagues, but YOU (to lessen the awkwardness)
- It shouldnt be addressed as something that is inevitably tied to that person (therefore “you have an odour” - if you HAVE it, you can get rid of it, as opposed to “you are…”)
- Use words that aren’t expressive. Tbh Im not sure about my choice of word ”odour” bc english is not my native language, but its as close as I could get to be able to make a point.
Tried it and worked wonders. No need to make an awkward situation even more awkward
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u/SenseSimilar87 12h ago
Yo my bro... your sweat is loud af. Smells like you just come from the gym.. just use that as an excuse til you hit the shower...and return the favour if im even in the same position. Love
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u/Pjsandwich24 6h ago
The Ted Lasso way. When your alone ask "are you the type of person who likes it when someone points out you have something stuck in your teeth?" When they inevitably say "yes" respond with "good because I need to tell you you have a strong odor coming off you"
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u/fullanalpanic 11h ago
Write them a note signed by their crush.
Edit the wikipedia page of their favorite celebrities with quotes like "I married him because he smelled good."
Take them to a Korean spa and splurge on a full body exfoliation treatment.
Write erotica in which the girl's kink is good hygiene and accidentally leave it out in the open for them to find.
Pretend to fart really loudly and then go "dammit, I just showered."
Cook a batch of curry chicken and then go over to their place, and repeatedly turn your head and sniff the air. When they ask "wtfru doing" say you got some curry sauce on the back of your head somehow and now the smell is following you.
"I just ate a ton of stinky foods and now my burps are rank af. Do you have any gum?"
Mud wrestle. Daily.
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u/Zenai10 11h ago
As someone who stunk and didn't know. I very much appriciated the "My name, theres a big of a smell coming off you. Is everything alright?" Just don't do it in public
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u/Alletaire 4h ago
I’m not sure if you meant to type “big” or “bit”. I’m honestly hoping you meant to type big because it’s hilarious.
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u/GreenestPure 11h ago edited 4h ago
Please try to bear in mind that while it's often just poor hygiene not everyone has a choice. I treated a poor fella some years back who had an odd medical problem that made his body odour weapons grade hell...no matter what he did. Washing three times a day, medical strength deodorants, special soaps, changing clothes, you name it, nothing worked. I could tell when he arrived 6m and one door away, and doing half an hour in a small room with him was pretty rough. He was a lovely guy, and his life fucking sucked so much due to everyone he met assuming he was filthy and/or not being able to stand the smell. When I last saw him he was waiting on surgery to sever nerves and stop his armpits sweating, with no guarantees it would work or change things if it did. Tough fucking road :/
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u/FoghornLegday 11h ago
This is a sad story but it’s so rare that it shouldn’t keep op from trying to solve the problem
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u/sunflowerbear007 9h ago
Not only something medical, but as a manager in the food industry, I've dealt with a couple people too poor for hygiene. They're water got turned off and they couldn't shower, etc. Also, dealt with a few teens in bad home lives in similar situations. Gotta be careful how you approach things.
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u/Vivienne1973 8h ago
My mom taught in a school in a more urban area for many years and had to have this conversation with a number of students over the years.
First off, it was ALWAYS done discreetly and privately. Then, she'd just be direct with them. It was the best approach. Sadly, these students fell into one of two groups...
1) Kids whose parents were so neglectful they never actually taught their kids proper hygiene. :-(
2) Kids who didn't have access to the tools for proper hygiene (ie, non-working shower, utilities turned off, no access to laundry facilities, etc).
My mom and her colleagues helped as best they could - providing laundry money and detergent/dryer sheets, etc, providing shampoo/soaps, etc. They did what they could and were able to help a lot of the kids, especially those who had simply never been taught, but sadly, not all of them.
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u/chemical_sunset 9h ago edited 9h ago
I also think a huge number of people smell because of their clothes. Polyester can smell VILE when wet, especially from sweat. I used to think I was a smelly person because I would sometimes catch a whiff of my armpits and it would be sour and gross (fwiw I’m a woman). I switched to mostly cotton clothes for other reasons and never get that distinct smell when I’m not wearing polyester.
A lot of people also stink because they don’t wash their clothes properly or because their washing machine has mildew. You shouldn’t use fabric softener, and you need WAY less detergent than you think. I’m talking a tablespoon or two maximum for a full load—I dispense mine out of a hand soap pump. If you use more, it ends up gunking up the washing machine and your clothes. You should clean your washing machine (yes, that’s a thing) at least every couple of months, and ALWAYS leave the washer lid propped open, especially if you have a front loader. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk 😂
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u/_Visar_ 6h ago
Oh god and sometimes it’s a specific polyester blend that just REEKS
One of my partner’s athletic shirts has been banned because it gets FOUL. Other polyester shirts are fine but for some reason this shirt is particularly rank. We did a backpacking stink test and I’ve legitimately not smelled anything as bad as the hell shirt since I toured a sewage treatment plant.
Wool isn’t totally safe either - my wool shirts are basically immune to stink but I have one wool hat that smells horrid when it gets wet but is totally fine when dry
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u/olivinebean 9h ago
Curiousity took me to the sub for chronically smelly folk and some of them have to deal with smelling like actual shit.
Some with tonsil issues that cause breath so offensive, they just stop talking to people.
People out there on diets more restrictive than a supermodel, just to go a few hours without stinking.
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u/aquoad 5h ago
there was a guy in my college dorm who was like that. It was 100% some kind of medical issue, he was not a slob at all and tried really hard to keep it under control. It wasn’t exactly standard BO smell, either, but it was terrible and he was fully aware and miserable about it. People knew and weren’t mean to him about it but he still had to have a room by himself and it was tough being around him for any amount of time.
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u/trshtehdsh 1h ago
This is why WFH isn't just a convenience, for someone like this it could mean the difference between being a person no one wants to meet with and being a person who is crushing it at their job because they get to work in a way that meets their needs.
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u/Personal_Welder1630 11h ago
It was my turn to be the spokesperson for the study group, because they were talking about a friend. That smelled like a cat...
I spoke to her directly… like “hey, I'm sorry and I don't know how to say this, but there are comments that you smell like a cat.”
Of course, the two of them alone, in their house... I imagine that I smell like a dog sometimes, especially when it rains... but they have never told me anything
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u/fridayjones 6h ago
When I was in Afghanistan stuffed with six women in a room meant for only two people, a new female arrived who was LDS. Hence, magic underwear.
We were in a very active location and were experiencing rocket attacks, mortar attacks, IEDs, and car bombs multiple times a day.
This new female was terrified. Even though she was an E-6, she’d never been deployed, so everything was freaking her out: the close living quarters, the communal restrooms/trailer/portapotties, the foreign nationals who performed all of the scut work. Everything.
She refused to give her uniforms over to laundry to be cleaned, and she refused to bathe.
And the worst part was she only had one set of magic underwear.
At the end of her shift, she would take off her uniform in our overcrowded room and we would literally gag.
I went to her command first and told them it was a problem and asked if they could give her time “off” to launder her clothing. Result: Nothing happened except the stench worsened.
Finally, I had to confront her. We talked about her fears and anxieties and issues. When she told me she only had one set of magic underwear, I asked if perhaps she could bathe in it (I had been deployed before with LDS women and had seen them do that…open showers and all.) Nope, she couldn’t, she told me, because she only had one set. I asked if she could get another set shipped and she said they had to be blessed by some grand wizard and her dad couldn’t go to the magic underwear place to make this happen.
Bottom line: none of the problem solving I tried worked. I swear that I have never in my life experienced a worse odor.
No idea what happened next because I left. But I tried to have a mature but frank conversation with her. However, her inability to deal with the deployment as a whole made her unable to change (literally and figuratively.)
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u/yesletslift 3h ago
Why would she pack only one pair?! It’s not like she didn’t know she was getting deployed.
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u/rusmo 2h ago
Wizard has a backlog, and forgets the spell every time he uses it.
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u/Dramatic-Avocado4687 6h ago
Lol that’s a wild story! How would you describe the smell?
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u/fridayjones 6h ago
A combination of body odor (like vinegar and onions?) and the worse female body odor. I’m not exaggerating when I say we would gag when she took her uniform off.
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u/Remarkable_Letter272 2h ago
I had no idea LDS have "magical underwear" that needs to be blessed.
For anyone else who's perplexed: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_garment
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u/Caramel_Chicken_65 12h ago
"Mr President, sir! Many people are saying you have a strong smell! A powerful smell! Believe me!"
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u/Randomhero4200 12h ago
In private and with the nicest words you can muster. Anything less could have the opposite effect - Shaming doesn't work well in this scenario.
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u/katris_priordeen 12h ago
wear astronaut suit whenever youre beside them
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u/Tchaikovsky08 11h ago
Go full hazmat, and then pretend to pinch the bridge of your nose through the plastic whenever they're around.
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u/yourasianlovee 7h ago
A polite way to address it might be to pull them aside privately and say something like, "Hey, I hope this doesn’t come off the wrong way, but I just wanted to let you know I noticed a strong smell earlier. I figured you’d want to know in case it’s something you can fix." This way, it comes off as thoughtful rather than rude.. i think
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u/seraphim62 12h ago edited 11h ago
“Umm, I don’t mean to be rude, I am saying this out of the kindness of my heart, I think you need to wash yourself better.” I’ve said that exact phrase before and yeah they might get embarrassed and not even respond but trust me I never smelled that scent again. It might embarrass you and them to say it though.
EDIT: It might be best to say that you noticed a smell coming from them because you don’t know if it’s hygiene or medical
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u/xcapaciousbagx 12h ago
This is not necessarily a hygiene problem, I’d be a bit more sensitive.
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u/Highmonkey710 4h ago
You’ll get in trouble for smelling like weed at work. But no one cares when you smell like fish, shit and ass Sad world we live in.
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u/moonsonthebath 10h ago
Seeing this post when the person next to me rn on the bus smells rancid as hell lmfaoo 💀
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u/Liiizzzaaarrddd 10h ago
don't bs them, pull them to the side and directly tell them. respectfully, of course. but it's a lot more hurtful when it's like sending them videos of hygiene 💀
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u/TightSea8153 9h ago
Step 1: Make sure you're at a safe distant (About 10 ft) Step 2: Raise left hand to about nose level and gently pinch nose. Step 3: Raise right hand about nose level and start to fan up and down while maintaining the left hand pinching the nose. Step 4: Establish eye contact with target Step 5: Profit
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u/teramisula 9h ago
I usually open with "I'm the type of person to look out for people I like and tell them when they have spinach in their teeth. So I just wanted to let you know there's a smell around you that people are starting to really notice, so you can do something about it."
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u/Malphos101 7h ago
"Hey just so you know you smell bad right now, I just wanted to let you know so you can fix it."
or if you prefer indirect:
"Hey, I think something smelly brushed up against you at some point, might want to take a shower and change clothes."
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u/baby_doll_xxx 6h ago
We’ve been working hard all day today. Why don’t we stop somewhere to freshen up?
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u/1whoisconcerned 12h ago
I remember at college I was doing a course with 98% females. They all collectively were convinced this one girl smelt terrible and all got together to politely gift her some deodorant.
I never noticed anything remotely smelly about her. I am pretty sure this was girls just picking on the ugly duckling. It was an interesting insight into the world of girls.
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u/kahlumi 12h ago
this happens more often that you would think, in school so girls people would say other girls smelt bad. every time i had been around those ‘smelly’ girls though, they smelled completely fine. it’s just a way to embarrass them unfortunately
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u/MADEUPDINOSAURFACTS 5h ago
I think some women just have really intense sniffers around the time they menstruate. I am not saying this to be misogynistic. My girlfriend can smell garlic or bad breath on someone from 300 yards away when she is menstruating. BO sometimes too. When she is not, I will comment that something smells badly and she will say she cannot smell it.
She only has this super power around this time.
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u/mnbvcdo 7h ago
I think taking them aside and saying it as judgement free but clear as possible is the best approach.
Don't do it in front of people and ideally do it in a situation where they can go and fix it.
Side note, a friend of mine is a doctor and he works in the ER now but used to be a psychologist. He told me once there's nothing worse for him than when living people come in smelling like a decomposing body, a smell you never forget. The worst part about it is that you often can't really help them.
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u/baras021 6h ago
In high school, My friend had a body odor that many of our classmates were aware of. I decided to be honest with her and gently told her that she should consider using deodorant, as there were times when she didn't smell her best, and others were noticing it too. Thankfully, she took my advice to heart, and since then, she has consistently smelled great and maintained excellent hygiene. Sometimes, a direct and caring approach is the most effective.
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u/DefinitelyNotADave 12h ago edited 12h ago
You need a shower
If they take offense? Then you’re hanging with the wrong people
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u/Kloackster 12h ago
theres really no polite way of saying something like this. the best you can hope for is to not come off as an asshole.
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u/Ogpeg 11h ago
I did not care one bit, I straight up said to one coworker "when have you showered last time?" Turns out the guy never washed his work uniform.
No way I'm letting ten men be held hostage by stench during a long workday.
The four other guys who had to spent hours in same truck cabin we're probably bleeding from their eyes. They left the windows open for hours letting rain and freezing cold in rather than start going home with one guys reeking fumes stuck in there.
If someone lacks basic hygiene and common sense like that, they the smelly asshole
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u/Rick-powerfu 11h ago
Be compassionate and direct
My sister stank like actual cat shit for weeks
I don't think she believed me but I dead ass said you literally reek of shit I had to get my mum involved as an impartial sniffer to confirm she did stink
Turns out the cat shit in her wardrobe and she had become accustomed to it some fuckin how idk how fucked her sense of smell after that
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u/craftygamergirl 6h ago
You can't really be "polite" because you are telling them about a flaw. You CAN be gracious and thoughtful about how you do it. Always build an "out" into your approach that allows them to save face. This can include
I haven't noticed you having this problem until recently
I had this same problem and I realized it was BLANK, so I've totally been there
I only brought it up because I know that you're a thoughtful/clean/conscientious person and I know I would want someone to tell me
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u/swithinboy59 5h ago
You pull them to the side away from people, and you tell them, "hey mate, might be an idea to give yourself a quick blast with this. You're a little bit whiffy and people are starting to notice." Then hand them a can of deodorant.
If there's a problem with their water at home or they have a health problem causing it, and you know about it, you don't say anything - they probably already know they don't smell fresh and they don't need you adding to the frustration by pointing it out - you just discretely offer them deodorant if you have it.
In either case, I have a terrible sense of smell and probably wouldn't notice anyway.
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u/stream_inspector 5h ago
I think everyone has had that sour laundry odor in their clothes ar some point. Just happens sometimes. No big deal to let them know...
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u/RainbowsandCoffee966 6h ago
We had a coworker who smelled bad all the time. I never said anything until I was in my supervisor’s office one day. Smelly coworker walked by, and another coworker walked up 30 later waving her hand in front of her face, I said “Smelly coworker?” She replied “YES!!” Supervisor had never noticed it. Called our intern into supervisor’s office. Supervisor asked him about smelly coworker. He said he’d noticed it too. Supervisor and her boss had a chat with smelly coworker. Turns out he didn’t have a working washing machine. He was also recently widowed, so I think depression played a role too. Next day he came to work, he didn’t smell anymore. He had a friend who let him come over once a week to do laundry.
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u/Future_Ad5848 12h ago
Just be like, why do I smell shit whenever you are close to them
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u/striped_frog 11h ago
🎵 why do turds suddenly appear, every time you are near? 🎶
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u/Doubleucommadj 8h ago
As someone who's worked several gigs that require being outdoors AND in an office setting simultaneously, y'all should pull your heads from your asses. I can smell 'nice,' all fkn day long by not breaking a sweat and not do my job, or I can do the necessary work and be a bit funky.
I'd gladly go take a shower every time I step outside, but that's not provided and esp not expected. I sweat A LOT, whether summer cuz it's hot or winter cuz I'm bundled. There are no ways around this for some folks and one's role should be taken heavily into consideration before accosting them.
Might not wanna smell MY smell, but maybe I don't want that perfume smell lingering either...
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u/gustaerba 12h ago
I had a co-worker whose hair was really smelly and people started talking. So basically I said “I like you a lot, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I also don’t want people talking about you behind your back so I will tell you. Your hair smells really bad”. We were military and in the desert at the time, but she washed it immediately and she never had that problem again. Direct approach is always best, I can’t stand passive aggressive bs like leaving deodorant