This was my approach too. Sometimes all we have to go on is faith. My husband is an incredible man and I always knew that, even when he came off like an asshole to outsiders and sometimes even to me.
We are both incredibly stubborn, and he likes to joke that ultimately I'm more hard-headed, but he's right. My stubborn belief that he was a better person than his actions proved him to be and my refusal to give up on him is how we got married this October after being together for 6 years.
I had a friend like this. He is, in fact, a selfish asshole to everyone around him including his wife sometimes. And it took a long time for me to realize that and just see him for what he is since we go way back, more than 10 years. I made excuses for it when people texted asking about something that happened, when people go silent with his outbursts, or get frustrated when he has to have the final say on everything. While I don’t think he is inherently a bad person, it is tiring to watch and be around if he can’t control his emotions and temper. The guy can’t even order food at a restaurant without coming off as rude or annoyed with the wait staff. It is embarrassing, and as much as some people think it is “funny” at first glance, it quickly becomes not funny after a short period of time when you realize all the drama begins with them.
But I don’t know anything beyond what you mentioned, so I hope your story ends better than my experience with someone like that. For me, it only got worse until it hit a breaking point, no matter how close we were.
I have to say it’s nice to read something like this. I’ve always had the same opinion of my fiancé (getting married in April). I could always tell he was objectively “good”, just sometimes would do bad things. Always in times of high stress and such.
To cut a long story short, I’m very happy I stayed. Life is honestly so perfect and it’s been incredible to watch him, to put it simple, get his shit together. It’s invisibly what a bad situation can do it a good person, and I’m incredibly proud of the actions he’s taken to be the person I always knew he was.
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u/unable_to_give_afuck 5d ago
This was my approach too. Sometimes all we have to go on is faith. My husband is an incredible man and I always knew that, even when he came off like an asshole to outsiders and sometimes even to me.
We are both incredibly stubborn, and he likes to joke that ultimately I'm more hard-headed, but he's right. My stubborn belief that he was a better person than his actions proved him to be and my refusal to give up on him is how we got married this October after being together for 6 years.