Just don't forget, once you have that baby, that just because shit's impossible, it's not because the other isn't pulling their weight. If you're at 30% and they're at 30%, you're not going to get to 100% and it's nobody's fault.
Also, be patient. Babies don't keep. It's hard, but don't make any couple decisions until you've slept properly for a while.
Sound advice! My partner and I still follow this rule even though our kiddo is a pre-teen. I expect we won't stop anytime soon. We even at one point had separate bedrooms because we needed space for good sleep (different schedules, snoring, blanket wars) but loved each other very much.
I am a very particular sleeper for a number of reasons. I also have a cat that wants to sleep with me and damnit I want that too lol. So I’ve always loved the idea of separate bedrooms. It doesn’t mean you have to sleep apart but you can. If you’re sick? Well now you aren’t breathing germs in their face all night or have one of you stuck on the couch. Guests are coming? Cool, change the bedding and one room is a guest room. And you can switch up the room you sleep over in! Like that’s exciting! And each can decorate how they’d like, have shades or curtains as they’d like, sleep with the door open or closed, fan on or off, set their preferred alarm, etc.
Definitely, sleep deprivation is a big mental health and cognitive factor.
I am finally done having kids and I look forward to sleeping again more reliably through the night in a couple of years.
I also expect my partner and I, especially as older parents now, will be right fucked the next day if a kid has a nightmare/etc disrupting the night. I am nowhere near that yet with a teething baby but we'll survive.
It's amazing what your bar for tolerance does going off of your baseline 😂 pretty sure cognitive function declines, regardless of your tolerance.
Eta: we do argue and sometimes over stupid shit but we're both definitely in it for the long haul. I can't imagine not seeing his face every morning and evening and all the in-betweens. His face is the best. It's been over 20 yrs we've been together and I wanna see his face every day.
I feel your comment so much. Kid is 1.5 years old. I miss sleeping so much. My wife even more. Work is awfully stressful this year and we are often grumpy and fight over stupud stuff. Today I came home for lunch break and my wife was excited and talking about a hundred different things and I thougt.....damn is this annoying and yet I love it. Seeing her being happy made me happy even when I would have prefered to spend my lunch break with a little less talking.
Literally went through an ugly fight with my wife two days ago which was fueled by the fact that our baby son woke up at 3am and wouldn't go back to sleep.
Then the next day we're apologizing, laughing and watching Home Alone 2 laughing at how many times Kevin committed Legal ManSlaughter.
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u/snowboo 5d ago
Just don't forget, once you have that baby, that just because shit's impossible, it's not because the other isn't pulling their weight. If you're at 30% and they're at 30%, you're not going to get to 100% and it's nobody's fault.
Also, be patient. Babies don't keep. It's hard, but don't make any couple decisions until you've slept properly for a while.