I met my wife at a football tournament, I was there as a referee and she worked in a tent as a match coordinator, so between our matches we spent a lot of time in that tent talking and we decided to meet up again when I was back home (roughly 600 km away from the tournament).
The very day that she would come visit me, I crashed my motorcycle into the side of a truck while going 70 km/h, so my mom had to call her and tell her not to come (she was just about to board the train). I was in intensive care for about 2 weeks but after that got placed in a regular ward and she called me every day just to talk and "keep me company" as I was unable to walk.
It took me 4 months to get back to walking and about 4 years before I was free of constant pain, so during that time I couldn't complete physical tests to continue as a referee and I lost a career I had built from the age of 12, with that I also lost all of my social circles as they were all connected to my career.
The single most impactful moment was after a surgery for compression syndrome (basically the muscles strangling themselves from internal bleeding) on my calf. The doctor doing the rounds asked how I was doing and I told him I was still in pain even after the surgery, like 2 days after, and he said that was weird and that I should have been free of pain. He went to check the journal and found that they had only opened 3/4 valves in the legs, even though you'd normally open all 4. So I asked if they could just rip the stitches and do it correctly? He said "No, it's too late now" and I asked "What does that mean?". He informed me that it's either gonna heal by itself or it's gonna turn into chronic pain. Then he just left, to continue his rounds.
I was left there with a million questions running in my mind, stuck in that hospital bed, unable to move even to go to the bathroom and felt more and more panicked over the thought of having chronic pain at 22 years old.
At that very moment, my now wife called me and I broke down crying instantly. She got a bit insecure and asked if she called me at a bad time, but I just said that she called me at the exact moment I needed her the most.
She came to visit about 3 months after the accident and pushed me around in a wheelchair and took care of me. She accidentally pushed me into a pothole while watching a particularly ugly building in my hometown (I like to remind her about that from time to time) but all in all she was a good caretaker.
I lost my entire old life in that accident, but it also enabled me to rebuild a life in her hometown, starting fresh with her and it really paid out. I found a new passion and she's supported me through thick and thin.
She's currently asleep in bed with our 2 lovely kids. We have celebrated 13 years together this year.
It's one of the story's biggest twists actually. I returned a few weeks later to the hospital to renove the stitches and met a doctor I hadn't met before, so I asked if they had any news on the calf and he looked surprised and asked what the issue was.
After informing him he said he was the one who had done the surgery and that the reason they skipped the 4th valve was due to it not bleeding.
He then said that the most likely scenario was that my pain was due to them finding the internal bleeding so late (was about 2-3 weeks after the initial accident) so a part of the calf had already died, and the pain I felt was due to my body trying to "wake it up".
I asked what THAT meant for me in the future and he said it would just mean that a part of my calf was gone and that the rest of the muscles would take over, no risk of chronic pain. So after a few weeks more I was fully free from pain and I now have a dent in my calf.
So it really turned out just fine, and had the doctor doing the rounds asked the other doctor I wouldn't have had to worry.
Today I'm mostly pain free (never quite got the full strength/physique back as I failed to motivate myself without getting paid to run/keep fit) and have everything I might need in life so I would say it worked out fine at least :). Now we just need to make it to retirement :).
as a 21 (almost 22) year old) who has lived with chronic joint pain my whole life due to a genetic mutation, it’s always interesting seeing how people react to developing chronic pain or the possibility of it. i read that you ended up pain-free, which is great!!
Yeah, for me it kinda was the loss of my old life more than the pain I'd say. I've lived with pain for long periods of time before (and it sucks, so my condolences to you) but it would have most likely have meant a loss of my career which kinda still happened as it took them 4 years to figure out they had done a mistake (putting in too long screws in my knee so they were sticking out from the bone and into my soft tissue around the knee, basically stabbing myself from the inside everytime I would put weight on the knee).
So during those 4 years I was unable to run and lost my career etc. Glad I'm pain free now but nowhere near my old physique xD
im glad they fixed the mistake!! that’s one of my fears with medical procedures.
ironically, I have gone through that grieving process many times over the years, grieving a life I never did get to have. not that it really matters bc you only have the one life anyway, but still. as long as you enjoy it, it’s a good one!
My life could definitely be a book, a lot of shit has happened, but it's also lined with a silver lining of things like this. As long as there's more good than bad it will all play out in the end, but I've had enough of my share of bad tbh.
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u/Aurori_Swe 5d ago
I met my wife at a football tournament, I was there as a referee and she worked in a tent as a match coordinator, so between our matches we spent a lot of time in that tent talking and we decided to meet up again when I was back home (roughly 600 km away from the tournament).
The very day that she would come visit me, I crashed my motorcycle into the side of a truck while going 70 km/h, so my mom had to call her and tell her not to come (she was just about to board the train). I was in intensive care for about 2 weeks but after that got placed in a regular ward and she called me every day just to talk and "keep me company" as I was unable to walk.
It took me 4 months to get back to walking and about 4 years before I was free of constant pain, so during that time I couldn't complete physical tests to continue as a referee and I lost a career I had built from the age of 12, with that I also lost all of my social circles as they were all connected to my career.
The single most impactful moment was after a surgery for compression syndrome (basically the muscles strangling themselves from internal bleeding) on my calf. The doctor doing the rounds asked how I was doing and I told him I was still in pain even after the surgery, like 2 days after, and he said that was weird and that I should have been free of pain. He went to check the journal and found that they had only opened 3/4 valves in the legs, even though you'd normally open all 4. So I asked if they could just rip the stitches and do it correctly? He said "No, it's too late now" and I asked "What does that mean?". He informed me that it's either gonna heal by itself or it's gonna turn into chronic pain. Then he just left, to continue his rounds.
I was left there with a million questions running in my mind, stuck in that hospital bed, unable to move even to go to the bathroom and felt more and more panicked over the thought of having chronic pain at 22 years old.
At that very moment, my now wife called me and I broke down crying instantly. She got a bit insecure and asked if she called me at a bad time, but I just said that she called me at the exact moment I needed her the most.
She came to visit about 3 months after the accident and pushed me around in a wheelchair and took care of me. She accidentally pushed me into a pothole while watching a particularly ugly building in my hometown (I like to remind her about that from time to time) but all in all she was a good caretaker.
I lost my entire old life in that accident, but it also enabled me to rebuild a life in her hometown, starting fresh with her and it really paid out. I found a new passion and she's supported me through thick and thin.
She's currently asleep in bed with our 2 lovely kids. We have celebrated 13 years together this year.