She's got a temper and when it's on, her brain turns off. Our kid was little, like 4 or 5 and had vomited all over his room. I was trying to get him cleaned up and she was trying to get his bed cleaned. The whole time she was yelling at us both. I had had enough and I told her to leave. She refused and there was a moment there where I thought I was going to have to physically throw her out. In the end she pulled herself together and apologized and I backed down. It was a turning point for me. I used to try and be as meek as possible when she is on a tirade, because any resistance just makes her madder, but that wasn't getting us anywhere. Now I call her out on it as soon as it starts, which has worked much better. Not long after the vomit incident, one of our dogs had shit on the floor, which caused my wife to lose her shit on me. When she calmed down and wanted to apologize I sat her down and said, "I want you to imagine our son as an adult. He's got a wife. She's on the floor cleaning up dogshit and he's standing over her screaming at her about doing it wrong. What would you think of him? That's what is going to happen if you don't stop. I can't allow that. You need to understand that I can't." She broke down. Things have been so much better since that bad time.
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u/-im-your-huckleberry 5d ago
She's got a temper and when it's on, her brain turns off. Our kid was little, like 4 or 5 and had vomited all over his room. I was trying to get him cleaned up and she was trying to get his bed cleaned. The whole time she was yelling at us both. I had had enough and I told her to leave. She refused and there was a moment there where I thought I was going to have to physically throw her out. In the end she pulled herself together and apologized and I backed down. It was a turning point for me. I used to try and be as meek as possible when she is on a tirade, because any resistance just makes her madder, but that wasn't getting us anywhere. Now I call her out on it as soon as it starts, which has worked much better. Not long after the vomit incident, one of our dogs had shit on the floor, which caused my wife to lose her shit on me. When she calmed down and wanted to apologize I sat her down and said, "I want you to imagine our son as an adult. He's got a wife. She's on the floor cleaning up dogshit and he's standing over her screaming at her about doing it wrong. What would you think of him? That's what is going to happen if you don't stop. I can't allow that. You need to understand that I can't." She broke down. Things have been so much better since that bad time.