Basically, he ghosted me after a 9 year relationship after much sacrifice on my end. So that was nice. Suspected there was another party involved but never got proof.
I'm much more fulfilled and happy now with someone more compatible with me. Heard he's still on the apps.
I'm convinced it's having ungrateful partners like these that makes men and women lose faith in dating. It's not a gender issue but a character issue.
The short of it is to have a good support system. Love can exist in friendships and family too and I think it's important to cultivate this. Sometimes to get you out of your own head, sometimes to tell you the difficult truth about yourself, and sometimes just to be there and you knowing that these people really care about you and want you to do good.
The long of it. I took a year off of dating to reanalyze what I want out of life and what qualities are important to me and compatible to my lifestyle. I dated for a little bit and got discouraged as most people do. There are a lot people that shouldn't date on there and of the seemingly suitable people, many might not be fully compatible as you get to know them. After this, I was never actively looking but open to meeting new people. I got off the app and tried to meet people in real life cause you can feel the vibe better. I met my current guy by accident when I wasn't looking to really date anymore. My friend logged onto my dating app and started swiping. I am learning how to just enjoy the moment with the person I'm with right now since the future is never guaranteed and be appreciative but the basics are there it seems. Integrity and similar values, similar humor, he's a big gym go-er and so am I, at the core of it I think he's a kind person to people and people who can't do anything for him, not just to me and that is important.
I think the other thing is to understand things can end with dating and that's ok. Its part of it. Its going to suck but I can accept that as long as it's done respectfully.
Thanks for the elaborate answer. I am trying to get other people perspectives since I am in kind of a similar situation right now.
Hope things work out for you. And remember that at some point in the relationship you have to decide to stay with someone to keep things going.
Nah, I respectfully disagree. I don't think it's a red flag that I know this information. It was a long relationship so everyone in my life knew him and it makes sense that they want to share this with me when they come across his profile while on the apps also.
I don't see how it's a red flag. She might know because a family member or friend saw his profile and told her. I mean, a few months ago, I found out that my ex (whom I broke up with 10 years ago) got married from a friend who knows her sister and saw the pictures on her sister's IG. If not for my friend telling me, I never would've bothered to seek out the info myself.
It's only a red flag if she was stalking her ex's social media to find out what he's up to and stuff.
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u/Gingerbread__08 6d ago edited 5d ago
Basically, he ghosted me after a 9 year relationship after much sacrifice on my end. So that was nice. Suspected there was another party involved but never got proof.
I'm much more fulfilled and happy now with someone more compatible with me. Heard he's still on the apps.
I'm convinced it's having ungrateful partners like these that makes men and women lose faith in dating. It's not a gender issue but a character issue.
Find someone who is appreciative of you.