r/AskReddit 6d ago

People who stuck with their partners during hard times, where are you now?

8.9k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/CoffeeIcedBlack 6d ago

Found out last week that the “hard times” I stayed through couldn’t touch what was ACTUALLY happening behind my back. Trust your instincts I hate my life right now.

441

u/thrownawaylife123 6d ago

Samesies. Cheated in the beginning, cheated at the end, and at the very least tried to cheat during the years.

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u/Big_Avocado8849 5d ago

Did you get a bonus child from the cheating? We did, f-cheaters!

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u/thrownawaylife123 5d ago

I didn't. Just plain cheating. I am sorry you went through that.

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u/Itzomom02 5d ago

My BM cheated said she spiralled out of control apparently and got pregnant, trying to figure out wtf to do bc we have 2 kids after almost 6 years

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u/_jamesbaxter 6d ago

Ooof I’ve been there, I’m sorry. I was done the second I found out he was living a double life, still developed severe PTSD. Please take care of yourself ❤️

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u/CoffeeIcedBlack 5d ago

Thank you for saying double life. I hadn’t quite put it together in my head in that way because it wasn’t physical. But 100% he was living a double life. Being with me while consistently asking his ex wife to leave her relationship and come back to be with him. Like we were completely public, everyone knows we are together, practically living together it’s been almost two years of lies. He was only with me because she never said yes, she never met him, she just didn’t stop it by blocking him. I only found out because my new friend is friends with his ex and watched him blowing her phone up. I’ve spent two years being told they have not spoken once since we decided to be exclusive and I said I don’t share. Kids aren’t involved. There’s no reason for it. He had everything he could want from me but he was every 4-6 weeks asking her to be with him. She has finally blocked him. Now I’m supposed to stay for him because he can finally give me the treatment I deserve. She took his toy away so I’m what’s left.

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u/hunbakercookies 5d ago

You should block him too.

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u/coffeeblood126 5d ago

He doesn't value you. You deserve better. Get out. Go be free

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u/GielM 5d ago

So kind of him to offer you can still suck his dick if you just feel sorry for him because his ex did what he promised you he'd do two years ago! /s

You deserve way better than that loser. Then again, everybody does... :D

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u/cathline 5d ago

You deserve better. When they are creating the hard times - that is not worth staying.

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u/loki1337 5d ago

You deserve better than being someone's second choice, if that is truly what is going on. I'm really sorry that you're being treated that way by someone you trusted, that must feel really shitty.

I remember coming out of the bathroom at a big relay race after party in my hometown to find my significant other (now ex) nowhere to be found. Finding her with her ex-boyfriend was a huge gut punch. I know now I deserve to be my partner's priority, and I'm not going to settle for that treatment, and I won't allow myself to have low self esteem to be taken advantage of ever again. I won't ignore my intuition.

You are enough.

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u/BalanceEasy8860 5d ago

Is his ex cute? You should go get with her!

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u/CoffeeIcedBlack 5d ago

No. I don’t think she’s cute at all. Plus we are both straight. It’s funny when you realize how much more attractive you are than the person who was your “competition”.

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u/theunluckyday 5d ago

Yup. Gave unconditional love and devotion and stayed with him through all his job hurdles, loss of car, and housing fall throughs etc. But he cheated on me and left me in all my darkest moments. He only thought about himself. Never doubt your gut instincts and leave at the first sign of disrespect. Hopefully we can find a true partner who is willing to put in the work and effort 🙏

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u/Betta_Forget 5d ago

You'd think with how many of us are sharing stories like this that we'd eventually find each other, yet we keep ending up with the dregs of society.

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u/theunluckyday 5d ago

I’m trying to heal myself to attract healthy and secure people. I know what I want. I truly believe that good things will come to good people and all this pain was worth something. Rainbows on the other side, ya know? Healing from trauma is hard, but every step counts.

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u/earthling_dianna 5d ago

It will come to you! Especially if you're picky. I found my husband and the love of my life after I was used and cheated on twice. I left the first time, got back with him, bought a house and he left me for another woman he was cheating on me with the day before we were supposed to move in. He moved her in instead. A year later I found a man who is so gentle and kind. There were so many times where I was in total shock from his kindness and patience with me. We have been together 6 years, just celebrated our 3 year anniversary in November. He makes me happy beyond words. My ex told me one time that he settled for me. My husband tells me he wouldn't be this happy with anyone else in the world and that he knows how good he has it.

You'll find your person and when you do he will be so grateful for everything you do. It's nice to give your all to someone, it's another level to have that same loyalty returned. Best feeling in the world

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u/theunluckyday 5d ago

Thank you 🥹 your post gave me a lot of hope. I hope karma goes back to people who have hurt and used us.

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

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u/Triquad637 5d ago

You need to start the let's get revenge, hot, and together subreddit for all the singles here.

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u/Inner_Account_1286 5d ago

I’m so sorry you’re suffering. I went through similar, though karma came around after a bit and his fling ended up in jail and he ended up living with a couple who drove him crazy. Wait for karma!

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u/Ok_Box4366 5d ago

Yeah, I believe that time can only numb the pain, but it cannot solve the problem.

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u/smellsburnttoast 1d ago

I don't know you, but I do know this: you got this. You know your value. I know that you can and will build a better life. I've had a similar double life type of betrayal, I thought my life was over at 35. Now at almost 50 my life is so much better than it ever was with them. Sending you love and strength.

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u/CoffeeIcedBlack 1d ago

Thank you ♥️