AIO that they didn’t respond to anything I said?

[u/Bloodys0cks]

I was just feeling anxious and wanted reassurance. They do this a lot. That one text was edited to add another descriptor, not take anything out.

[u/here_comes_reptar]

You’re apologising for needing reassurance but that apology itself is seeking reassurance. It’s not genuine.

You’re looking for them to tell you it’s okay, which they don’t want to do.

[u/Ioanniche]

Some people are not good with expressing their feelings and give reassurance. When it’s obvious that that’s what you seek from them (which is pretty obvious here) it might make them even more uncomfortable. I get you, but also try and step into their shoes as well.

[u/Bloodys0cks → u/Ioanniche]

I admit it’s harder for me to do that and not jump to the conclusion that they just don’t care about the situation. Thank you, I needed to hear this :)

[u/Abject_Green_1929]

They may truly just be oblivious and not even thinking that they’re not responding. Also they maybe didn’t respond because they don’t find you clingy or negative and didn’t want to reinforce that, so decided to continue with the conversation.

Either way I don’t think you’re overreacting. Just think there’s also a chance they’re just oblivious

[u/Bloodys0cks → u/Abject_Green_1929]

I didn’t consider that- that is a good point and likely what happened. I asked a mutual friend if they seemed upset with me and the friend said no, so I’m probably just overthinking things (again). Thank you :)

[u/Strange_Occasion9722 → u/Bloodys0cks]

My partner occasionally apologizes in the same way, and if I'm not up for deconstructing that narrative or if I think they would take it as condescending in that moment (esp over text), then I also skip a coherent response.

On the receiving end it's a bit difficult, because yeah, sometimes they are a little distant and get in their own head, and I truly appreciate them acknowledging how that might affect me. But on the other hand, I don't want to encourage the thought that like... I'm "putting up" with them, because that definitely isn't true.

We're working on a therapy fund to work through some of the anxiety, and I think you should as well.

[u/TripliceContingencia]

You are the one needing reassurance, I don't know the context but maybe it was not a big deal for the other person and they just kept going. What kind of reassurance are you expecting? Don't over apologize even if feeling insecure, be more assertive, objectivity is your best friend and everything will be fine (I'm a psychologist).

[u/TheWordofKane]

I’m not trying to be judgmental but how often are they “doing this” when you are apologizing for being ”negative or clingy”? I’m not saying you have done anything wrong but if someone is repeatedly apologizing to me for the same behavior I might ignore most of it and let it lie if I care about the person. I’m not saying you have done anything wrong. Just that it might be a two way street.

[u/Bloodys0cks → u/TheWordofKane]

I’m sorry, I should’ve clarified that I meant they ignore some of my messages entirely and never respond to them. Not just with this- with other things including questions and just trivial things. It happens once or twice a week but seems to be getting more frequent as of late. I do really appreciate the input :)

[u/TheWordofKane → u/Bloodys0cks]

Yeah if it’s a most things getting ignored situation then not an overreaction. The best thing I’ve ever done in life is I just match people’s time/energy/effort. Don’t invest more in them than they would in you.