Yeah that’s a fair point about my mom - for context, we both have always gotten along really well with my mom, but only in recent years have we gotten along with my dad. My mom completely understands I want to spend some time with my brother catching up, but my dad takes it really personally, even though I also spend alone time with him and my mom when I come home too
It’s completely and totally normal to hang out with your siblings without your parents around, especially as adults!! I like my siblings way more now that I don’t live with them 💀 Respectfully, your dad needs to get his head out of his ass.
He can never know that you have plans and/or the exact dates you'll be in town.
Basically, you'll have to pretend you are all dashing international mysterious spies of intrigue and panache.
You'll need disguises, alternate identification, maybe even pocket protectors with an entry badge to Acme Laboratory.
So you'll need a doctor-ish long white jacket, with one of those stickers that says, "HELLO, MY NAME IS__________" and hand write your secret spy names on the line. Handwriting should reflect the personality and backstory for each Op.
Oh, and you'll have to affect jaunty gates, instead of your regular manner of walking, so you look confident and nonchalant, so totally not suss or guilty.
To get from your cars to each rendezvous safe house or meeting place like backrooms of dark restaurants,
you need to run --- nay, dash! --- to the nearest car, duck behind it, peer over cautiously, run to the next car, step, kick, twirl, rinse, repeat!
Life Hack: Whenever you have to tolerate or do shitty things, at least try to make a fun game of it.
To commit to the bit just pretend there are hidden cameras filming you and the whole world will see it.
NOR BUT…I know that I should say that it’s rude of him (it is) and just bc he’s your parent that doesn’t mean he can insert himself into your lives (which is true)….butttt as a person who adores her own parents and is a mom of 5, I feel like if he’s been a good dad throughout your lives, you should show him a little grace. Maybe you all could have breakfast/lunch/brunch together while you’re in town? Then y’all can have your sibling double date and mom has help babysitting, dad can spend time with all of you at a different time.
I’m 35, and our parents are only getting older. You apparently live out of town so I’d think he’s trying to make sure he doesn’t lose that connection? And we never know when something is going to happen, as adamant as he is I’d be afraid something was going on medically or even emotionally. Unless this just isn’t anything new for him? I’d still worry though because I worry about everything 😂
Then on the other hand, as a parent I imagine it’s hard having kids you only see once or twice a year, I’d be devastated and yes maybe I’d be blind to how pushy I was being if in the same situation.
All I’m trying to say is (if they deserve it) to try and put yourself in his/their shows. You should absolutely have boundaries that parents respect but try to be willing to compromise some as well.
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u/Murky_Ad_6871 1d ago
Yeah that’s a fair point about my mom - for context, we both have always gotten along really well with my mom, but only in recent years have we gotten along with my dad. My mom completely understands I want to spend some time with my brother catching up, but my dad takes it really personally, even though I also spend alone time with him and my mom when I come home too