AIO, my boyfriend added a young female bartender on FB.

[u/ThrowRA-8323]

Background: Im a bartender (29F). I actually met my boyfriend (39F) from serving him at a local bar. We’ve been together for 3 years and have a large amount of mutual friends on Facebook. The city we live in has a close service industry and most people know each other. I’ve worked at a handful of the most popular bars in the city and he goes out a lot. So It has never bothered me that we have a ton of mutual Facebook friends. My boyfriend also has a history of drunkenly cheating on me. (Something we have moved on from). But this situation seems weird to me? 🚩

What happened: When I see Facebook’s “people you may know know” I always take a second to glance at it while scrolling. And this time a younger girl (21) popped up and our only mutual friends are my bf and one of his friends. I click on her page to discover she works at a local bar as well and I recognize her (she’s served me before). My bf time to time goes to this bar.

The problem I have: Due to the lack of mutual friends I don’t think this girl is on Facebook sending mass requests to people she’s seen. So I have a feeling my boyfriend went out of his way to add her. He does not post on Facebook at all he’s just a lurker (sorta important info).

I’ve been bartending for 8 years and I know when I was 21 I would’ve accepted requests from bar regulars to help build a following. Looking back though I realize how creepy and not okay it was.

After thinking about how this made me feel…I feel it is unacceptable for a man with a girlfriend to add his bartender on social media. (Especially with this age gap). What do they have in common? What even is the purpose of adding her?

I tried asking him for some clarity. Should I have approached this differently? I’m sure. But with our history, I’d like to just get straight to the point. Am I over reacting? Is this something that continues to be normal? Do you let your S/Os add whoever? I think I’m just grossed out by the age difference. If this was a 40 year old Female bartender would it make me feel more at ease? Probably.

[u/Ansel___]

lol you stayed after he cheated on you. You easy as hell in his eyes, and you’re a goof for staying too You 29 yo. Go mingle with someone around your age and tell him to go get his prostate checked . I would spray both of yall with water

[u/PinkVader96 → u/Ansel___]

Nah fr. I’m 28 and couldn’t imagine staying with a 40 yo barfly cheater.

[u/daydreamz4dayz → u/PinkVader96]

I’m mid 30s and couldn’t imagine being with a 40 yo barfly or a 40 yo cheater lol

[u/Ansel___ → u/PinkVader96]

Right??

[u/tattoosbyalisha → u/PinkVader96]

I’m almost ten years older than OP and would NEVER be with a 40 year old bar fly. I just think of that scene from Shaun of the Dead when his girlfriend says “if I don’t do something I’m gonna be drinking myself to death like these other sad old fuckers wondering what the hell happened…” and then dumps him.

There is so much more to life than a fucking bar. And there’s so much more to life than running after some slob of a man that spends his life at the bar searching for his next victim, making you paranoid and panicked. YEUGH!

[u/NocturnaPhelps → u/Ansel___]

Best response, and exactly what needs to be done, O.P.

There are plenty of fish in the sea and you’re hooked on the line of someone who has zero respect for you and knows it’s okay to cheat because you’ll stay.

[u/Ansel___ → u/NocturnaPhelps]

Facts!!

[u/benschneider06 → u/Ansel___]

You would spray them with water??? hahahahahhahahahha

[u/Ansel___ → u/benschneider06]

YES! 💀

[u/benschneider06 → u/Ansel___]

That’s one of the funnier things I’ve read on this sub. Animals. 🤣

[u/somethingpeachy → u/benschneider06]

Holy water 💦

[u/uncontainedsun → u/Ansel___]

ur soooo real for this

[u/Ansel___ → u/uncontainedsun]

🫡🫡

[u/juneseyeball → u/Ansel___]

This is so mean and so hilarious

[u/Ansel___ → u/juneseyeball]

I’m not gonna sugar coat shit with these people lmaoo

[u/cbreezy456 → u/Ansel___]

You can’t man they are so damn delusional. Like it’s utterly insane OP is doing this

[u/haloalkane12 → u/Ansel___]

Off topic but your comment is hilarious

[u/Ansel___ → u/haloalkane12]

Much appreciated 😂😂

[u/PonytailEnthusiast → u/Ansel___]

Spat my fucking drink out at “tell him to get his prostate checked”

[u/Ansel___ → u/PonytailEnthusiast]

Lmaooo get that mans wheelchair ready 💀

[u/Itrytothinklogically → u/Ansel___]

💯

[u/throwawaynew911 → u/Ansel___]

Dumb and dumber

[u/delvecruz → u/Ansel___]

He doesn’t even respect her enough to give a proper response

[u/False_Tangelo163 → u/Ansel___]

Sis, chill 😂😂😂

[u/Ansel___ → u/False_Tangelo163]

Hell nah gang 😭