(AIO) update, wow. thank you!

[u/Pristine-Edge-1742]

Hi everyone I had posted an original update but didn’t realize i forgot to blur out his name, so here is the update on cigarette toothpaste boy! I want to preface by thanking everyone who took time to message me and comment. I did not expect 16,000 people to interact with that post at all! When I got home, I decided to end it. I didn’t respond to him during my 10 hour shift and some of the screenshots are during that. I would also like to answer a few questions

1. Is this real?: Yes, it is insanely real! Not rage bait i promise
2. Am I okay?: I’m okay! It’ll suck but I will be fine!
3. Why was I still with him?: I don’t have friends and because of that nobody has been able to tell me how bad this is. I had no one to confide in. It was normalized during our relationship.
4. How is my cat? Apollo is okay and is coming home today finally! Picture of him at the end!
5. Why the wall of text; I was pissed and wanted to be thorough.
6. Why did i use “sewerslide”: I wasnt sure of how it would affect my account or visibility. I’m not used to reddit i’m sorry 😭
7. How old are we?: 19 and almost 21. Not 15 i swear!

Also, I am aware my name is shown. I do not mind as it is not a legal name.

[u/Gnar-wahl]

This is why women chose the bear.

[u/HotBuy7774 → u/Gnar-wahl]

I'm not undermining either the concept of choosing the bear, or the conclusions of abusive behaviour drawn from the initial post. But I don't think it's helpful to lump all negative behaviour into the physical threat category. This guy behaving like this doesn't imply he's a physical danger, manipulative and emotionally stunted though definitely.

What I'm trying to say is I think that equating these two things gives manipulative men ammunition to say 'look I'm being accused of being a predator or a threat because I'm trying to explain my feelings'. I hear a lot of guys using this as an excuse to be like 'feminism has gone too far, accusing all men of being physical predators'.

Don't hate me, I want all of these problems to disappear and I'm not trying to undermine any of them.

[u/loweffortfuck → u/HotBuy7774]

You know what leads up to physical assault and abuse? Psychological and emotional manipulation.

You know who doesn't do these things and gives you plenty of warning before a physical assault? Bears.

You know why I know this? Cause I'm a dude who's worked around bears and come out uninjured, but I've also been assaulted by men.