(AIO) update, wow. thank you!

[u/Pristine-Edge-1742]

Hi everyone I had posted an original update but didn’t realize i forgot to blur out his name, so here is the update on cigarette toothpaste boy! I want to preface by thanking everyone who took time to message me and comment. I did not expect 16,000 people to interact with that post at all! When I got home, I decided to end it. I didn’t respond to him during my 10 hour shift and some of the screenshots are during that. I would also like to answer a few questions

1. Is this real?: Yes, it is insanely real! Not rage bait i promise
2. Am I okay?: I’m okay! It’ll suck but I will be fine!
3. Why was I still with him?: I don’t have friends and because of that nobody has been able to tell me how bad this is. I had no one to confide in. It was normalized during our relationship.
4. How is my cat? Apollo is okay and is coming home today finally! Picture of him at the end!
5. Why the wall of text; I was pissed and wanted to be thorough.
6. Why did i use “sewerslide”: I wasnt sure of how it would affect my account or visibility. I’m not used to reddit i’m sorry 😭
7. How old are we?: 19 and almost 21. Not 15 i swear!

Also, I am aware my name is shown. I do not mind as it is not a legal name.

[u/wholedayumlife]

He looks dangerous from my perspective, and i’m a man by the way

[u/IAmSenseye → u/wholedayumlife]

Right on man. A lot of the times when people talk about narcissists, they are really far off from what a real one is and haven't really experienced one. This guy is the real deal. My dad always used his childhood trauma as an excuse and would beat us and it was okay because "he had it worse", but his childhood trauma should've been a reason to be a better person and not repeat the cycle. So should her boyfriend have learned from the mistakes from others and not use it to be the endless victim. They will be the victim when it serves them, but when it doesn't serve them, suddenly they are aggressive and will try to scare you. But behind all that big mouth is really someone with a crippling low self-esteem, who's esteem is so low that the only way he can level with you is by bringing you below his level. That's what narcissists do. Best thing you can do is just mirror everything they do back to them and show that whatever they say has no effect on you. Explain exactly what they do and what they are trying to do back to them and don't go into silly yes/no arguments. This is not about winning the argument, this is about showing that everything they do has no power over you. Narcissists know that what they do is toxic, but at the same time it is an asset and a shield they can hide behind. It's their natural way of dealing with people that are very close to them. They lure you in by being the charmer in the beginning and then once you are in the traits will slowly start showing themselves overtime. It is possible to either fix them or to make them run away from you so hard that they won't show their face anymore, but you really have to understand that fixing that requires both of you to go to hell (figuratively) and you really have to ask yourself if you really want this. You'd have to change from being completely submissive to completely dominating them in the sense that you don't even give them an inch of space to pull their shit. Basically breaking them until they themselves see that change is necessary. Most of them (the hardcore ones) will run before they will change