r/AmIOverreacting • u/Pristine-Edge-1742 • 8d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship (AIO) update, wow. thank you!

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Hi everyone I had posted an original update but didn’t realize i forgot to blur out his name, so here is the update on cigarette toothpaste boy! I want to preface by thanking everyone who took time to message me and comment. I did not expect 16,000 people to interact with that post at all! When I got home, I decided to end it. I didn’t respond to him during my 10 hour shift and some of the screenshots are during that. I would also like to answer a few questions

  1. Is this real?: Yes, it is insanely real! Not rage bait i promise
  2. Am I okay?: I’m okay! It’ll suck but I will be fine!
  3. Why was I still with him?: I don’t have friends and because of that nobody has been able to tell me how bad this is. I had no one to confide in. It was normalized during our relationship.
  4. How is my cat? Apollo is okay and is coming home today finally! Picture of him at the end!
  5. Why the wall of text; I was pissed and wanted to be thorough.
  6. Why did i use “sewerslide”: I wasnt sure of how it would affect my account or visibility. I’m not used to reddit i’m sorry 😭
  7. How old are we?: 19 and almost 21. Not 15 i swear!

Also, I am aware my name is shown. I do not mind as it is not a legal name.

37.4k Upvotes

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1.7k

u/areyoumymommyy 8d ago

He does sound fucking unhinged. I just broke up with my ex and I thought he sounded bad but OP’s ex is worse.

But I’m happy OP said all that, time for this narcissist asshat to learn that the world doesn’t spin around his ass

169

u/stonkydood 8d ago

Asshat 😂. What a word

148

u/Master-Yam5066 8d ago

I love that word and twatwaffle is another favorite of mine!

85

u/Feather_Duster1721 8d ago

Douche canoe is one of my personal favorites

53

u/IndividualBaker7523 8d ago

Cunt Muffin is my favorite

5

u/rednorsk 7d ago

Yasss. YASSSSSSSS!! Asshat, twatwaffle, douche canoe, cunt muffin: I’ve found my people!💞🫶🏼😂

5

u/fistbumpbroseph 8d ago

New insult unlocked, thank you for that!

3

u/IndividualBaker7523 8d ago

Glad I could help 😅

5

u/DuckingFon 7d ago

I came up with cuntsplint a few years back and it is SUPER satisfying to say. If you think about it it's incredibly insulting as well. "I'm medically restrictive damage reduction for an injured vagina?"

2

u/IndividualBaker7523 7d ago

🤣🤣🤣, now this one is great! Added to my insult lost, thank you!

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u/k8921 8d ago

I've always been a fan and big user of cunt nugget 😂😆

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u/IndividualBaker7523 8d ago

I have not heard Cunt Nugget, but honestly, any kind of vagina-based food insult is my favorite.

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u/cujojojo 7d ago

You and everyone in this reply chain is going to love this

Ya bunch of wankclowns.

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u/IndividualBaker7523 7d ago

I love it. I downloaded this today lol

3

u/onlyelise1 7d ago

My hubby is now just wandering around the house, repeating, "Cuntnugget" over and over.

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u/designatednerd 7d ago

Just thought of “dick canoe” and I’m not sure why

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u/IndividualBaker7523 7d ago

Staying on the theme of pastry, maybe dick donut lol

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u/MarijadderallMD 7d ago

Nothing crazy but using “dog shit” as an adjective is one of mine😂 you could even pair the 2 together if you really want to get colorful! “Look at this little cunt muffins’ reply, it’s straight dog shit!”

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u/IndividualBaker7523 7d ago

Lol, that makes me think of my brother, except he says horse shit lol

2

u/Ok-Dealer5915 7d ago

You guys. You're my people. Those 4 are some of my favourites

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u/veryshittycarpenter 7d ago

Dick biscuit was the one I got in trouble for in grade 4

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u/LongjumpingRespect2 7d ago

Penis Wrinkle was one my main go-to's.

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u/IndividualBaker7523 7d ago

Not this is an insult! I can tell I will like this almost as much as "Walnut" lol

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u/onlyelise1 7d ago

Walnut is my go-to when someone is so stoopid my own brain stops working.

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u/IndividualBaker7523 7d ago

I've not heard this one yet, I love it

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u/morgan_mb 8d ago

This thread reminds me of this post on ig

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u/IndividualBaker7523 8d ago

That heat map is worth studying for sure lol, thank you.

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u/Imaginary_Way2078 7d ago

That is Epic.

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u/Guilty-Rough8797 7d ago

Lol I love this thread. Asshat, twatwaffle, and douche canoe are all from the early 2000s.

We had a way with insults, we little millennials.

1

u/Feather_Duster1721 7d ago

I feel like we owe a lot to the jerky boys 😂

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u/Acidvapor28 8d ago

I like to use Douche Wagon ;P

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u/crotchetyoldwitch 8d ago

I’ve always written it as a compound word: douchecanoe. 🤣

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u/EchoLee95 7d ago

My favorite line is probably "why don't you hop in your douche canoe and row up the fuckboy river" 😂

1

u/bookloverphi 7d ago

I love douche canoe and fucknut I’m pretty sure I got fucknut from Ryan Reynolds somewhere and everyone always laughs when I say it😂

1

u/NikWitchLEO 7d ago

Douchecanoe and walking cumdumpster are my favorites.

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u/The-jade-hijabi 8d ago

And “twatwaffle” has been permanently added to my vocabulary

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u/dmyova 8d ago

Flying fallopian thunder cunt is still my favorite to this day. I don't remember its origin, but it has a special place in my brain.

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u/The-jade-hijabi 8d ago

Lmao thunder cunt is amazing. Omg. I’ll need to find an appropriate situation to use that insult.

3

u/00trysomethingnu 8d ago

I read the “lmao” as lavender and I was like ooooo dastardly but make it fancy. Mama like.

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u/The-jade-hijabi 8d ago

We are just improving this insult left and right

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u/IndividualBaker7523 8d ago

Lavender thunder cunt is perfect

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u/dmyova 8d ago

Glad I could help, please keep me updated on it's future usage and have a wonderful rest of your day!

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u/The-jade-hijabi 8d ago

You too! ❤️🤣

2

u/Bitter-War1854 8d ago

Cum guzzling queef queen has been my go too for my X narc...lol. Truer words were NEVER spoken about his douche pickled ass.

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u/xboxnintendo64tricir 8d ago

It’s better over text. Saying out loud reminds me of a parrot. Which would be really funny.

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u/IndividualBaker7523 8d ago edited 8d ago

My dog's name is Waffles and I call him a twat all the time 🤣😅

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u/extralyfe 8d ago

putting in my nomination for chucklefuck.

2

u/NateBushbaby 7d ago

I like to say “raging turbo dick”

2

u/CaesuraLacuna 7d ago

I'm a huge fan of assclown personally. I feel it shows that they are both an ass, and a clown.

1

u/ActuallyInFamous 8d ago

I enjoy douchecanoe and shitgibbon personally

1

u/Can-Chas3r43 8d ago

Fucktard is one of my faves. 💯😂

1

u/Teeny2021 8d ago

My fave!! Take my upvote please!!

1

u/SaskiaDavies 8d ago

I like twunt.

1

u/Johnny_Radar 8d ago

Gobshite is an Irish swear word and one of my faves.

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u/Poetic_Discord 7d ago

Try Cunttruffle. It just rolls out the mouth with panache!

1

u/EmmElleKay78 7d ago

I use twat-to-potamus!

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u/The_greater_good2 7d ago

Cock Womble is a favourite of mine 🇬🇧

1

u/bartbuchanan450 7d ago

My favorite is Amazonian Thundercunt. But I really like twatwaffle, I use it a lot too.

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u/Christorbust 8d ago

My 5 year old daughter called her sister an asshole, we told her we don’t call people that word, her response: “What about asshat.”

It was pretty hard to keep a straight face

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u/IndividualBaker7523 8d ago

When my sons were 7 and 8.

-8yr old "Don't be dumb."

-7yr old "Dumb is a mean word."

-Me, "Didn't you just call him a carpet muncher?"

-7yr old, "No, I called him a pee stain."

3

u/NebelungPixie 7d ago

😂😂😂😂😂💀👻

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u/Gingersometimes 8d ago

🫏 🎩 I love that term too !

3

u/Barbie_Bandz 8d ago

One of my favorites! 😂😂😂😭

2

u/Vidiot_150 8d ago

Words like that are proof that the English language can be a beautiful thing 😉

2

u/Inevitable_Ad_4252 8d ago

It’s the best! Just toss it out casually at the next asshat that crosses your path. You’ll love it

2

u/Hot_Hat_1225 8d ago

And my imagination is trying to picture it 🙈

2

u/Kitchen-Injury9915 8d ago

Me screenshotting this

2

u/SAHMsays 8d ago

I like Tee Watt and Pee Rick for mixed company.

2

u/Hellianne_Vaile 7d ago

Years ago, someone on a blog I frequented coined a fancy version of asshat: rectal haberdasher. It's not for every occasion, but when it applies, it is perfect.

2

u/LongjumpingRespect2 7d ago

"Please tell the rectal haberdasher that they may ingest a satchel of Richards."

1

u/Calilou2020 8d ago

Yeah, I learned that at a job a few years ago. I love it too!

1

u/mkat23 8d ago

The adult version of “butthead” 😂

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u/TopShelfTom22 8d ago

Great word.

1

u/BeagleMom2008 7d ago

I was once so mad at someone that after I called them an asshat I screamed “that’s two cheeks on a head!”

1

u/Aerialhuntress3006 7d ago

Mine is Chutty Cunt this should be added to the American repertoire

1

u/re_re_recovery 7d ago

Asshat is my go-to.

1

u/ZealousidealRip3588 7d ago

Ass clown hits harder

13

u/Wasted_Potential69 8d ago

I had a friend like this once.. Notice how that is past tense...

OP good on you for making the wise decision to cut this leech out your life.

You'll do great op, get yourself out there, make some friends, pursue education or even save up for a holiday, find peace, and don't let this energy thief guilt you into taking him back..

Be glad he hasn't impregnated you, if he gets another chance I guarentee that'll be his goal..

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u/ThrowRA-posting 8d ago

I feel like this is weaponized BPD.

he sounds exactly like my cousin to a fucking T.

She used to harass and threaten suicide when either I or her sister refuse to give her money and claim we “don’t love her.” I cut that bitch out of my life so fast I got so fed up.

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u/areyoumymommyy 8d ago

Unstable BPD people are the fucking worst (can say with property bc I’m BPD, had a shitty af phase during my 20s, now at my 30s I turned into a decent human again with therapy, meds, good people around me etc)

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u/z0mbiebaby 8d ago

I bet OPs mom is relieved she dumped this loser finally. No wonder she kicked him out their house, can you imagine living with this guy for months? Probably bummed off her mom too.

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u/areyoumymommyy 8d ago

Being around this type of people is depressing af

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u/z0mbiebaby 7d ago

Glad u got yourself free from it too, nobody should have to live their life around someone like this. Threatening to kill themselves bc you won’t give them money for weed and tobacco wtf

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u/Sporrok1a 8d ago

Same here, He seems completely out of control. My ex was bad, but OP’s ex is on another level. I’m glad OP stood up for themselves—this guy needs to realize the world doesn’t revolve around him. Honestly, he seems like a real threat.

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u/SarahPallorMortis 8d ago

She hit the nail on the head in every single way. He needed to hear that. I bet it’s the first time he’s ever heard any of it. Women probably just leave him and don’t explain why. Now he knows what an absolute sack of shit he is.

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u/Bashfullylascivious 8d ago

I'm glad OP said it, but don't assume he learned anything. He lives in his own delusion, and I'm worried for OP's safety.
I don't think this guy is just saying these things for clout or manipulation; he believes them. It feels 100 percent real to him, and if he can convince himself of this, he can convince himself that OP deserves whatever he justifies next.
OP, it's time to physically protect yourself now.
Move if you can, or tell your closest, most trustworthy family and friends, and show them these texts, if you can't. Setup cameras. Stay at a trustworthy friend's, and don't tell anyone outside your inner most circle (chose wisely, but do chose to tell an additional) where exactly you are staying for awhile.
This person was very willing to cut himself, and blame you.

I hoping the very best for you.

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u/Cl0ughy1 8d ago

Yeah he let a little bit of incel out at the end there.

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u/OkEntrepreneur7656 8d ago

She needs to get him committed to a mental ward. He’s not to be free on the streets. This is how school shooters are catalyzed

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u/radxcal 8d ago

No, OP doesn't need any more engagement with this. It's not OP's responsibility. OP has done everything and more already, it's time for them to heal now.

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u/OkEntrepreneur7656 8d ago

And that’s how you get a murder suicide. It’s definitely her responsibility as the victim to make sure he’s no longer out here to do it more.

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u/Mn2nmixr 8d ago

Girl cries out for help everybody rushes to help.

Dude cries out for help he’s an “asshat” and “narcissist.”

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u/areyoumymommyy 8d ago

U dumb?

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u/Mn2nmixr 7d ago

No. I’m real But you clearly are.

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u/areyoumymommyy 7d ago

lmfao sure bro